Stingiest thing you've seen stingy people do

starling

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Ah they're the worst at parties. I remember when my cousin got his PHD he had a big party. His parents got him a big bottle of champagne for it. Proper expensive stuff and he was looking forward to popping it and doling it out to everybody. This cunt, who'd be well known for being a tight wad, shows up at the party with a cheap bottle of wine. A while later and Patrick catches the **** chugging his champagne from the bottle. He claimed somebody had stole his wine so he had nothing else to drink. And the house full of booze that Patrick was giving away. That was the last straw with that fucker (he had previously went to Patrick's brother's stag night and disappeared with the kitty for the drinks) and Patrick dragged him out of the house and gave him a hiding.
How do these people ever show their face again. If I was caught at something like that I'd be mortified. I'd have to move.

JFC! That's got to be the all time winner for "party drink miser" in this thread!

Only one question, not to diss Patrick, but if this cúnt STOLE the drinks money at his brother's stag, why was he even speaking to the guy?

sligojoek

In Exile wrote: »

I remember a few years ago I met a girl in a nightclub on a Friday night. She was in Limerick for the weekend to graduate from Mary I. That alone should have been warning enough.

Anyway, she was staying in a hotel in the city so went back to hers on the Friday night. Went out again on the Saturday and ran into her late that night, so back to the hotel again.

Woke up on the Sunday morning thinking this was a good weekend! She says to me she has to check out because she has to head off back home, but did I want to get something to eat first. Foolishly I said yes so we head off down to check out.

The receptionist hands over the bill and your one turns around to me, in front of everyone and said "since you stayed here both nights with me, I think it's only fair you pay half the bill".

The receptionist wasn't able to hold in the laughter and I was in complete shock. Your one pushes the bill towards me with half the money in her hand.

This teacher was determined I pay for the privilege of sleeping with her a couple of nights! So, I took the bill, walked up to the receptionist who was on the verge of pissing herself, looked at the total, handed it across the counter and just said to the teacher loud enough for others to hear "sorry, you really weren't worth that much money" and walked out

You should have said, "I've had my fun and that's all that matters"

Chris Dolmeth

Should've said "If I wanted a hooker, I'd have gone down to the Dock Road!"

cofy

My brother-in-law gave my 5 year old son a birthday present of a 20Euro voucher, the minimum spend in order to use this voucher is 40Euro.

Paddy Cow

In Exile wrote: »

I remember a few years ago I met a girl in a nightclub on a Friday night. She was in Limerick for the weekend to graduate from Mary I. That alone should have been warning enough.

Anyway, she was staying in a hotel in the city so went back to hers on the Friday night. Went out again on the Saturday and ran into her late that night, so back to the hotel again.

Woke up on the Sunday morning thinking this was a good weekend! She says to me she has to check out because she has to head off back home, but did I want to get something to eat first. Foolishly I said yes so we head off down to check out.

The receptionist hands over the bill and your one turns around to me, in front of everyone and said "since you stayed here both nights with me, I think it's only fair you pay half the bill".

The receptionist wasn't able to hold in the laughter and I was in complete shock. Your one pushes the bill towards me with half the money in her hand.

This teacher was determined I pay for the privilege of sleeping with her a couple of nights! So, I took the bill, walked up to the receptionist who was on the verge of pissing herself, looked at the total, handed it across the counter and just said to the teacher loud enough for others to hear "sorry, you really weren't worth that much money" and walked out

Sorry but you don't come across well in this story at all. Fair enough she could have said to you in private about splitting the bill but surely you would have expected to pay something? You stayed there and had breakfast. She wasn't trying to get you to pay the whole bill and to be honest, if I crashed in someone's hotel room, I would at least offer to pay half the cost before we reached checkout. You're comment at the end was really uncalled for.

MrVestek

Somebody in another thread for Orange Is The New Black mentioned pirating the series... which is a Netflix original series.

Seriously? Netflix is only €7 a month ffs... whatever about pirating a TV show that's really hard to get over here it's another thing to pirate a TV show from a service that's actually making it just as easy to watch these shows WITHOUT having to pirate anything.

Stingy feckers...

April O Neill

podgemonster wrote: »

the group walks into the sitting room to find yer man sitting on the couch with one arm in a sling and the other furiously masterbating to MTV.

Oh my good god, I'm CRYING from the laughter here. :D:D

April O Neill

miamee wrote: »

not mates with a dude called Handel :pac:

Awww.

April O Neill

Billy86 wrote: »

'Twas a joke, but it does kind of resemble napkins - comes out one sheet at a time. Bad news if you happen to be in there after a night on the Guinness, settled by a curry. :pac:

NothingMan wrote: »

I can confirm this. For a fancy shopping centre complete with Dyson hand dryers they have the worst single sheet paper ever.

You know you can take more than one, right?

April O Neill

cofy wrote: »

My brother-in-law gave my 5 year old son a birthday present of a 20Euro voucher, the minimum spend in order to use this voucher is 40Euro.

Ok, he kinda messed up there, but 20 Euro is more than enough for a 5 year old! He probably didn't realise.

sligojoek

I was buying oil for the bike today when I remembered this.

Back in the 80s my uncle gave me a part time job at his rural pub/shop/petrol pump. My job was in the bar. His wife ran the shop. He watched telly, read the paper and manned the petrol pump. Now and again if he wasn't around I'd have to run out from the bar and fill petrol.

One day a woman pulled up and blew the horn so I went out and filled her petrol. She asked me to check her oil. It was well down so I put in two pints of Castrol GTX and put the bottles in the bin. A while later he arrived into the bar and told me never to put oil bottles in the bin. "Just leave them round the side of the house." Fair enough, he was the boss.

Another day a similar thing happened but there was no oil on the rack. His wife gave me the key and told me to go into Martin's shed and get a new carton. In the shed he had a thing made from timber with a hole and an upside-down bottle in it. Underneath was a gallon can with a funnel catching the drips. It was half full. I mentioned it to his wife and she said, "Oh the miserable ould bastard uses that for his own car."

Billy86

cofy wrote: »

My brother-in-law gave my 5 year old son a birthday present of a 20Euro voucher, the minimum spend in order to use this voucher is 40Euro.

That's more stingy on the shop though, I'm surprised they're even allowed do that. Classic 'read the small print' situation.

Billy86

April O Neill wrote: »

You know you can take more than one, right?

I'm a busy April, it eats into my time!

That, and nothing beats a big fat wad of bog role. It's not a time for daintiness.

SureYWouldntYa

One stingy thing that happens a lot in my area, is the buying one pint and then filling the pint glass up on cans from home for the rest of the night. Hate it, and hate being asked to sneak cans in. It seems no-one understands what goes into running a pub, and its the "local" as well usually where this happens

NothingMan

April O Neill wrote: »

You know you can take more than one, right?

Billy86 wrote: »

I'm a busy April, it eats into my time!

That, and nothing beats a big fat wad of bog role. It's not a time for daintiness.

Well although I'm not a clumper, I'm a folder. I usually take 3 sheets off the roll and fold them on themselves making the structural integrity enough to avoid finger penetration on even the more moistened evacuations. I find this technique is much more difficult when trying to stack individually dispensed wiping papyrus.

bleg

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Sorry but you don't come across well in this story at all. Fair enough she could have said to you in private about splitting the bill but surely you would have expected to pay something? You stayed there and had breakfast. She wasn't trying to get you to pay the whole bill and to be honest, if I crashed in someone's hotel room, I would at least offer to pay half the cost before we reached checkout. You're comment at the end was really uncalled for.

I think he comes out remarkably well. After 2 nights on the lash, not much sleep (I'm guessing) and he still was quick witted enough to come up with that line.

BRAVO!

April O Neill

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

One stingy thing that happens a lot in my area, is the buying one pint and then filling the pint glass up on cans from home for the rest of the night. Hate it, and hate being asked to sneak cans in. It seems no-one understands what goes into running a pub, and its the "local" as well usually where this happens

If someone asked me to smuggle cans for them, I'd would rather charmingly tell them to fúck right off. :P Bad enough stuff like spirits, but feckin' awkward cans?

jca

bleg wrote: »

I think he comes out remarkably well. After 2 nights on the lash, not much sleep (I'm guessing) and he still was quick witted enough to come up with that line.

BRAVO!

If he said it at all. Sounds to me more like a (why didn't I say such and such) moment.

DeanAustin

An ex workmate, stingy ould bitch, went to a wedding in the K Club with a bunch of my other ex workmates.

Anyway, the table got into rounds and she made herself be the last one. When it came to her turn, she was nowhere to be found so it went around again without her paying.

Anyway, they did the 'long speech' bet and she won. Someone said "If you win it, you have to buy a round for the table". Yer woman put all the money in her handbag. Next time the round came to her, she disappeared again. One of the other ex-workmates went to the toilet and saw that the stingy wan had gone to the bar and bought herself a drink to drink at the bar.

She must have left the wedding with more money than she arrived.

OhHiMark

DeanAustin wrote: »

An ex workmate, stingy ould bitch, went to a wedding in the K Club with a bunch of my other ex workmates.

Anyway, the table got into rounds and she made herself be the last one. When it came to her turn, she was nowhere to be found so it went around again without her paying.

Anyway, they did the 'long speech' bet and she won. Someone said "If you win it, you have to buy a round for the table". Yer woman put all the money in her handbag. Next time the round came to her, she disappeared again. One of the other ex-workmates went to the toilet and saw that the stingy wan had gone to the bar and bought herself a drink to drink at the bar.

She must have left the wedding with more money than she arrived.

Shouldn't the round have come back to her as soon as she arrived back at the table?

DeanAustin

OhHiMark wrote: »

Shouldn't the round have come back to her as soon as she arrived back at the table?

Absolutely but from what I heard, when she disappeared, the first person went and bought again and then she came back and the round went on as before.

Amazed that people didn't get on her case but apparently, not all of them knew her very well.

HansHolzel

Chris Dolmeth wrote: »

Should've said "If I wanted a hooker, I'd have gone down to the Dock Road!"

Or even... "You hired me, all expenses paid."

bucketybuck

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Sorry but you don't come across well in this story at all. Fair enough she could have said to you in private about splitting the bill but surely you would have expected to pay something? You stayed there and had breakfast. She wasn't trying to get you to pay the whole bill and to be honest, if I crashed in someone's hotel room, I would at least offer to pay half the cost before we reached checkout. You're comment at the end was really uncalled for.

Rubbish. If I was ever lucky enough to bring a girl back to my hotel room damn sure I wouldn't have the barefaced cheek to then ask her to split the bill.

Anyway, if he had paid, would that make her a prostitute?

Gloomtastic!

Just remembered one - about me!

Used to go to Blackpool in the UK to visit some friends there. They were members of the local working men's club so we would tag along - cheap, cheap pints!!!

When you offered to buy the bar staff a drink they would only take 10p and be very grateful. Feeling generous one night I said to the rather pretty girl behind the bar to 'take 2'.

She said thank you very much and took 2p. I felt a right twat!

bucketybuck

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

When you offered to buy the bar staff a drink they would only take 10p and be very grateful. Feeling generous one night I said to the rather pretty girl behind the bar to 'take 2'.

She said thank you very much and took 2p. I felt a right twat!

Was this before or after the war?

Gloomtastic!

bucketybuck wrote: »

Was this before or after the war?

About 15 years ago.......

iamcornholio

Long term reader so decided to signup. I am currently in a house share sharing with four other people and one of the guys was the biggest stinge ive ever seen. We kicked him out yesterday. He does art in college. Anyway he doesn't buy toliet paper. What he does is he uses A4 pieces of paper to wipe his hole. One day I come home and see the jacks overflowing and the smell of crap out of it would knock a horse. He blocked it with the paper. Went to use the other toilet as well and that one as well was blocked. He used A3 pages of thick paper to clean his hole with(we started hiding ours in our room). We all went crazy at him and he said what was I meant to do I was busting for a crap. He constantly stole food and always denied it. You would ask him does he want to pitch in on a pizza and he would say no and then grab two or three slices of the couple of pizzas we ordered. We couldn't prove he was robbing the food because the rest of us were in work from 9 to 5 and he was in college but it was obviously him. Say I buy four chicken fillets or something as soon as I opened the packet and took one for myself there would be one or two fillets missing.
We order broadband as well a couple of months back and he said he had no problem and would chip in with the bill. After the first month he said that his laptop is after breaking so has no computer so he won't be chipping in anymore with the bill. This was complete and utter bull because I checked who was connected to router and he was using in his room. Surely enough I blocked his laptop on the router so he couldn't connect. Started giving out a few days later and we said tough ****, I'll connect ya when ya pay up. He never did. The guy was no way broke, he drove a nice car and was out a every second night of week. I remember one night he came back with one of his friends and he was black and blue and nose pumping. He went up to the jacks(probably using a4 sheets of paper to clean himself up) and asked his friend what happened. His friend said he got caught robbing drinks and some lad let loose at him. I asked him does this happen reguarly that he steals drink and he says every night. We then started talking about his stingyness and friend told me other stories. Thank God he is gone, I hate stingy feckers

iamcornholio

Another Stinge story about one of my friends. He is a notorius scrounge but we kinda just laugh along with it because he is sound and the stories are funny.

He asked us all one night after been out could he borrow money for a taxi home which would be around 8 euro and we all gave him a euro or two. He takes out his wallet and we see a 50 euro notes in it and start asking him why he didn't he use that. He said he didn't want to break a 50.

In the local when there is four or five of us just doing rounds he always came up with an excuse when its his turn. He has a migrane, he pretends his phone rings but is really setting the alarm and says he has to go home right away. We stopped the rounds when he was there then but the new thing is he will only go the pubs where they serve 3 euro pints of carling, bavaria of the likes. If we tell him we are at a pub with normal pints he wont go.

Another toilet paper one, he lived in a flat for a while and we were over with him one night. He had a backpack full of streaks of toilet paper. He used to go to the supermarket and into the jacks and just pull lengths of bog roll from the toilet roll container and put them in his bag.

If you asked him for a lift anywhere he would say he needs petrol money, don't mind paying but the chap but he had a half a tank of petrol in the car.

If we were just hanging out he would not buy a snack for himself like a sandwich, drink , bag of crisps or anything. His famous catch phrase was BIT A DAT. He would actually get offended if you wouldn't give him a drink of your coke.

When I used to smoke and we were hanging out he would always ask me or my friends for a next or butt on that fag. We said fine and did this for a couple of hours. Next thing he pulls out his own fags and starts puffing away. We asked him why he didn't smoke his own ones. He said he didn't feel like a full one.

Even though he is 27 and working he still buys cheap cans of bav or dutch as well. A notorius scrounge but known him all my life

cofy

April O Neill wrote: »

Ok, he kinda messed up there, but 20 Euro is more than enough for a 5 year old! He probably didn't realise.

Yes, he did. He had fallen out with his brother, and only did it to piss his brother off. I just hate it when he drags our children into his disputes with his brother as we live next door to him.

He got the voucher as part of a sales promotion when he bought a mobile phone.

April O Neill

cofy wrote: »

Yes, he did. He had fallen out with his brother, and only did it to piss his brother off. I just hate it when he drags our children into his disputes with his brother as we live next door to him.

He got the voucher as part of a sales promotion when he bought a mobile phone.

You should have added that in the first post!