Cheesy but Funny Story

donvito99

Chatting to a man on a flight to Madrid a couple of years ago. Start talking to the guy, and we get into a conversation about aviation. He tells me that he used to be an Aer Lingus pilot in the 50's and 60's. After he retired at 50 or whatever he began to train other pilots (don't know specifics). They were flying over the UK. One of the trainees happened to be German (yes I know what you're thinking). The man, (couldn't care less about nationality) pointed out the window and said, 'Great view, ever seen anything like that?', to which the German replied, 'Not since 1940!'.

He didnt look at the German for the rest of the flight.

Tenger

donvito99 wrote: »

........ Start talking to the guy, and we get into a conversation about aviation. ....................................
He didnt look at the German for the rest of the flight.

Have heard a version of this from the other side. German ATC asking an ex-RAF pilot if he was not familiar with the airport he was approaching......the reply was "It looked different from 20,000ft in 1944"

Danbo!

And another similar one...

Speedbird 206 is a B.A. 747...

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

ch252

TOWER: "ABC, no need to acknowledge, cleared touch and go."
ABC: "Cleared touch and go, no need to acknowledge, ABC."

I actually heard that one before!:eek:




Thought this one was pretty good:

And the following rumoured to have been heard on Thames Radar.....

"N123AB descend to 3,000ft, the QNH is 1013mb"

"N123AB can we have that in inches please"

"N123AB descend to 36,000 inches, the QNH is 1013mb"





Lots more here: http://www.pprune.org/atc-issues/59309-atc-humour-merged-2.html

Some crazy stuff has been said on Frequency before! Although I reckon some are a little exaggerated.

maclad

This one is actually my own:p
<25 touch and goes into my record attempt in florida>
....Tower: Cherokee 123... when do you plan on doing a full stop?
Me: Amm.. Probably sometime after you go home tonight!, cherokee 123.

...different day same tower controller. Practicing a power-off. Still at 600' over the numbers:D
Tower: Cherokee 123 are you going to land or what? You look a bit high!
Me: Yeah.. sorry about that.....going around.


Actually i'll add another... not mine but I heard it while coming in to land.
Tower: 123 report 4 mile final for runway 04.
... 5 or so minutes later:
123: 123 is on a 4 mile final for runway 04.
Long pause..
Tower:No you're ****ing not!

the guy was at the wrong airport!:rolleyes:

peter1892

Two of my favourites:

BA flight 123 somewhere over the US;
BA: 'Chicago center Speedbird 123 with you'
ATC (obviously American): 'Speedbird 123 say altitude'
BA: 'Al-tit-toood'
ATC: 'Speedbird 123 say canel IFR'
BA (in a panic): 'Flight level 350 sir!'

---

Another one concerned a very stressed female controller working New York approach one evening. It was rush hour, there was a constant stream of traffic heading for the airports and pilots calling in, the weather was bad & things were getting out of hand. Suddenly she screamed 'everyone, everyone just SHUT UP!!!!'

There was silence for a few seconds until a lone, male voice enquired 'er...was I married to you once?'

chickenhawk

EGSC Tower: "G-XX clear touch and go runway 05, caution birds to the east of the threshold".

Student: "Clear touch and go runway 05 and I roger the birds..."

GaryB

"Clear touch and go runway 05 and I roger the birds..."

jmkennedyie

From an SR71/A20 pilot: http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/cargo/19456-fantastic-sr-71-story.html...

"...One day, high above Arizona, we were monitoring the radio traffic of all the mortal airplanes below us. First, a Cessna pilot asked the air traffic controllers to check his ground speed. "Ninety knots," ATC replied. A twin Bonanza soon made the same request. "One-twenty on the ground," was the reply. To our surprise, a navy F-18 came over the radio with a ground speed check. I knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he had a ground speed indicator in his cockpit, but he wanted to let all the bug-smashers in the valley know what real speed was "Dusty 52, we show you at 620 on the ground," ATC responded.

The situation was too ripe. I heard the click of Walter's mike button in the rear seat. In his most innocent voice, Walter startled the controller by asking for a ground speed check from 81,000 feet, clearly above controlled airspace. In a cool, professional voice, the controller replied, "Aspen 20, I show you at 1,982 knots on the ground." We did not hear another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast..."