Being Called ''Love''. Offensive?

Rabies

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

Latchy

And what was that Beatles song again ? oh yeah '' all you need is love '' .

dare yar now !

Peared

Rabies wrote: »

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

I'm not like that and I don't know any girls like that.

Looks to me like you have just done the very thing you are complaining about.

monkeyfudge

I for one hate being called it.

It tends to be when I have my hair beyond a certain length and it's usually bus drivers.

Stheno

Rabies wrote: »

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

Tangent and all I have to ask "bitter much?"

FTR, I like being treated, and treating, and love good manners/chivalry.
Beating anyone up is wrong, I do love flowers, and like giving them to guys too

I've no problem with asking guys out and have done so As for gifts, I'm not bothered, expensive gifts make me feel like I'm being paid off, they do nothing for me.

But heck, in a professional business relationship, call me love or honey and I'll just consider you an idiot, are you going to call your male customers the same?

The Saint

It's weird, I'm a bloke i my mid/late 20's and it doesn't bother me in the least if I'm called love. My mother still calls me and the rest of my siblings love. As someone has already said if it's stranger calling you it, it's usually the type of woman who sells fruit on the street or a skanger. It doesn't bother me being called love by them. I would find it odd if a girl my own age called me it but I've been called hun by some of my female friends.

However I would never call someone else love. Not even if they were a younger family member like a niece or nephew. I would especially not call a girl love and absolutely not one I don't know. I've called female friends of mine other terms of endearment but never love. As someone said before I'd think I was being patronising if I did. So there's the paradox, I don't mind people calling me love but I'd think I was being patronising calling someone else love.

Man I've issues.

dfx-

Sometimes the life of a recluse is inviting if we're now getting offended by something like this..

Rabies

/adds a pinch more salt to post

Meh that doesn't bother me, I like vernacular english.
What does cross the line of appropiateness for me, is when strangers touch the small of your back.

sukikettle

I am a thoroughly modern Millie and I hate being called love. I prefer madam or pretty lady or lovely lass or beaut

shellyboo

I really, really hate being called 'love', 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'pet' or any endearment - unless it's my parents or a boyfriend. I find it really patronising.

I have a name, please use it. If you do not know my name, then you have no business calling me any of the above.

Rabies wrote: »

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

It seems, to you. I would not call a random stranger 'love', man or woman.

Moonbaby wrote: »

Meh that doesn't bother me, I like vernacular english.
What does cross the line of appropiateness for me, is when strangers touch the small of your back.

+1

Makes my skin crawl.

ntlbell

ntlbell

dfx- wrote: »

Sometimes the life of a recluse is inviting if we're now getting offended by something like this..

I think being a recluse is probably part of the problem here people are so withdrawn from social reality they get offended by people being pleasant.

It must be real hard to live some of these peoples lives you would just spend most of your life pissed off with everyone else..

Slow Motion

shellyboo wrote: »

I really, really hate being called 'love', 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'pet' or any endearment - unless it's my parents or a boyfriend. I find it really patronising.

I have a name, please use it. If you do not know my name, then you have no business calling me any of the above.

I'm sorry chicken, what was your name again?

Curvy Vixen

Peared wrote: »

Let's face it, it's usually either old people (forgiveable mostly), skangers or idiot men who say it.

I'm none of the above and sometimes use that and other 'terms of endearments' for those not 'endeared' to me.

However, I am from South East London and just as 'feck' and 'bollix' seems to be the norm for a lot of Irish peoples everyday speech, terms like 'love' are peppered throughout my everyday speech.

ntlbell

Peared wrote: »

Let's face it, it's usually either old people (forgiveable mostly), skangers or idiot men who say it.

No idiot women no?

Dudess

I don't give a sh1t when a stranger calls me "love". In fact I think it's quite pleasant and warm... although I wouldn't do it myself.

ntlbell

inferiority complex springs to mind.

Dudess

Sure it does.

ntlbell

Dudess wrote: »

Sure it does.

I wasn't replying to you.

shivkk06

ya really havent much to be bothering ya, if you get offended by a term of endearment by someone who uses it such much they didnt even know they had said it, be worse if they said here ya go b itch, then maybe it would warrant a thread to moan

Latchy

A womon drops her purse on the way out of a shop ,another womons spots it and shouts after the womon '' hey love , you dropped your purse .

''Thank you '' the womon replies .Later that evening the womon is asked by her husband

'' did you have a nice day honey '' ? . No! replies the womon .

''Oh , how come ? asks the husband . '' Some bitch called me love today '' replies the womon . .

Can you imagine ? :rolleyes:

stovelid

Have to laugh at this. In most cases, being called love by somebody in passing is a harmless - often generational - thing. The poster who said it's more of an English thing is spot-on. My family in England run the whole gamut - love, dear, son, etc.

Finding it offensive (in the absence of any real proof of being patronized or sleazed) is an overreaction on the level of the why are you calling me mate when you're not my mate threads that pop up on boards every now and then.

Latchy

stovelid wrote: »

Have to laugh at this. In most cases, being called love by somebody in passing is a harmless - often generational - thing. The poster who said it's more of an English thing is spot-on. My family in England run the whole gamut - love, dear, son, etc.

Finding it offensive (in the absence of any real proof of being patronized or sleazed) is an overreaction on the level of the why are you calling me mate when you're not my mate threads that pop up on boards every now and then.

It's used as an everyday word all over England by all kinds of people ,from the taxi driver to the butcher ,as a friendly gesture imo and accepted by all without any bother.So it could just be a snobby/ class/irish thing to be offended by the word .

However I can understand if the word is used out of context in a patronising way , although cant say I have expierenced it myself .

stovelid

Obviously, I'm thinking more of the general usage - across genders - rather than a Sid James type looking down a woman's top and going aw-right lahve.

fits

Rabies wrote: »

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

I know you say to take this with a pinch of salt, but this kind of post just makes me feel so jaded.

OT I agree I think 'love' is a pretty warm friendly term in conversation and dont mind it at all. I kind of like it when its a natural part of the way people talk, but would never use it myself.

However a family friend is in the habit of addressing both me and my mother and any other woman as 'little girl'. Its just the way he talks and he doesnt mean anything by it, but it drives me crazy to the extent I amicably told him I was neither little nor a girl recently (and my mother thanked me privately after).

Latchy

stovelid wrote: »

rather than a Sid James type looking down a woman's top and going aw-right lahve.

You cant say that now in these politically correct times ,would be deemed as sexist !

John Mason

Jaysis, i thought i was a bit of a stressball at the moment!!!!

i call people love the whole time

the girl in NTL wasnt impressed with it but in fairness if was used with a certain tone of voice:D

Latchy

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i call people love the whole time

the girl in NTL wasnt impressed with it but in fairness if was used with a certain tone of voice:D

The lovely young thing in the pastry shop calls me love every day .I aint complaining .:)

John Mason

latchyco wrote: »

The lovely young thing in the pastry shop calls me love every day .I aint complaining .:)

ahh, see its nice to share the love around, isnt it pet