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Being Called ''Love''. Offensive?

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    #122
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    sparewheel wrote: »
    when anyone says love, hun, babez, honey anything like that i feel like stabbing them in the eye .. i hate it soo much ha

    You need to do something about the anger -thems terms of affection.

    Now other words like bitch ,ho etc they are the bad ones:)

    All together now -DONT PATRONISE ME


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    #123
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    CDfm wrote: »
    You need to do something about the anger -thems terms of affection.

    Now other words like bitch ,ho etc they are the bad ones:)


    i dont have anger problems haha ... those words just grate on me soo much .. i even cringe when people use them .. id almost rather being called a bitch then babes haha


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    #124
    Dave147
    Registered Users Posts: 3,235 ✭✭✭Dave147


    Can't stand hun or babes, especially babes, really annoys me.. It's always scummy girls use that word. Also hate when lads younger than me call me 'kid'. I.e. I serve him a pint and he says "Thanks kid".. I'm 5 years ****ing older than you!!!

    Don't mind being called love.


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    #125
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    sparewheel wrote: »
    i dont have anger problems haha ...

    If you say so ????? Perhaps a mild psychosis.

    Maybe you and Dave147 can get group therapy


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    #126
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    no dammit...they are just horrible sleezy irritating words


    haha smarty! maybe the words should just be banned ?


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    #127
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    sparewheel wrote: »
    no dammit...they are just horrible sleezy irritating words


    haha smarty! maybe the words should just be banned ?

    They are the nice words and are terms of endearment and affection- in the same way that puppies and kittens are cute.

    Its them other words that are the bad words except if you are creepy and believe in death metal or have aspergers etc.

    We use them in ways the French use "tu" rather than the more formal "vous" in our culture as opposed to Miss/Mr/Mrs. So you might object to them as being over familiar.

    What are your thoughts on "bugger" and "cock" in the North of England.Aren't you glad they did'nt cross the channel.


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    #128
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    i know what your saying , i dont think there overfamiliar just irritating.
    i dont mind those words at all ha ..dont mind any other words in the english language except those so-called terms of endearment :D


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    #129
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    sparewheel wrote: »
    i know what your saying , i dont think there overfamiliar just irritating.
    i dont mind those words at all ha ..dont mind any other words in the english language except those so-called terms of endearment :D

    Don't worry about it love.


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    #130
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    :mad: haha


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    #131
    Esel
    Registered Users Posts: 22,236 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Volvoboy wrote: »
    Do you find the word ''love'' offensive?

    Given context handing back change to a girl ''thanks love here ya go''

    ?
    Much safer to like them rather than love them! As in:

    "Thanks, like, here ya go." :D

    Not your ornery onager



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    #132
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    hahaha true on so many levels hahaha


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    #133
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    sparewheel wrote: »
    :mad: haha

    Why so happy? next time use the green toothy one:D


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    #134
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    esel wrote: »
    Much safer to like them rather than love them! As in:

    "Thanks, like, here ya go." :D

    Not really "like" is used when a person is unsure what to say.

    Sparewheel might prefer "Thanks,bitch,here ya go" but ya couldnt say that to a nun.


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    #135
    Esel
    Registered Users Posts: 22,236 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    CDfm wrote: »
    Not really "like" is used when a person is unsure what to say.
    Whoosh.

    Not your ornery onager



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    #136
    masonman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭masonman


    pseudonym1 wrote: »
    Gosh - chill the hell out people! Love is an old school term of endearment attempt at affection and friendliness! Inherent part of this country's character - bloody hell people getting antsy about being called love shows modern misplaced judgement. IMO, Chill the hell out take it for what it is a term of expression without malice!

    Now if it is said in an intentional patronising way - its a different story but any word in correct tone can sound that way.

    +1


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    #137
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    esel wrote: »
    Whoosh.

    Like in Cork like.


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    #138
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    pseudonym1 wrote: »
    Gosh - chill the hell out people! Love is an old school term of endearment attempt at affection and friendliness! Inherent part of this country's character - bloody hell people getting antsy about being called love shows modern misplaced judgement. IMO, Chill the hell out take

    Now if it is said in an intentional patronising way - its a different story but any word in correct tone can sound that way.

    Its an expression and often patronising is in the ears of the listener.IMHO its up to people who are offended with these terms to start addressing others in a more formal way. THat is the way to get rid of over familiarity.

    If women want to be dealt with in a formal way then they should take the initiative and address others that way. If a bank teller calls me Sir I will respond with Miss.

    The other alternative is a National Name Tag Campaign for Women (cos I hear no blokes complaining) that gives their preferred form of address.

    Somehow I can't see Women going for the gender equivalent of "Hey Bollox" thats used in certain parts of the country as a form of greeting.


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    #139
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    CDfm wrote: »
    Not really "like" is used when a person is unsure what to say.

    Sparewheel might prefer "Thanks,bitch,here ya go" but ya couldnt say that to a nun.


    ye i wud indeed.:D..suits me prefectly haha


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    #140
    pseudonym1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,092 ✭✭✭pseudonym1


    Perhaps all those who take offense lack love!


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    #141
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    pseudonym1 wrote: »
    Perhaps all those who take offense lack love!


    All you need is ......Miz


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    #142
    sparewheel
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭sparewheel


    pseudonym1 wrote: »
    Perhaps all those who take offense lack love!


    i doubt that very much


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    #143
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    It doesn't bother me at all, I just see it as a term of endearment and friendliness. When someone is friendly to me it eally puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day. That said I don't like people being overly-familiar, but I wouldn't class "love" as being that.


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    #144
    pseudonym1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,092 ✭✭✭pseudonym1


    sparewheel wrote: »
    i doubt that very much

    Well there goes theory of not been breastfed then!!


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    #145
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Jesus said ' love thy neighbour ' ?

    Just dont use the word ' love ' while your loving her/ him ;).


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    #146
    JaneyMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭JaneyMc


    Like Piste said it's a term of endearment to me, my Grandmother and other loved ones used/use it towards me.

    I can see why it might upset people if it is used in a conscending/pervy/letchy way, (it really annoys me when old/pervy men say 'good girl' to me) but surely if the person who uses it is obviously using it in a positive upbeat way you realise they mean no offence?

    I would only use it with people that I am friends with and would understand I am using it as a term of affection.


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    #147
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    JaneyMc wrote: »

    I can see why it might upset people if it is used in a conscending/pervy/letchy way, (it really annoys me when old/pervy men say 'good girl' to me) but surely if the person who uses it is obviously using it in a positive upbeat way you realise they mean no offence?

    But how can you tell if someone means it to be lechy. Just say you buy a newspaper and the shop guy says thanks love thats OK. How can you tell if its positve or lechy from a stranger -barman or shopkeeper.

    THe "good girl" bit - what would you be doing for strangers to be saying good girl to you.


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    #148
    JaneyMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭JaneyMc


    CDfm wrote: »
    But how can you tell if someone means it to be lechy. Just say you buy a newspaper and the shop guy says thanks love thats OK. How can you tell if its positve or lechy from a stranger -barman or shopkeeper.

    Their general demeanour. Their body language, the tone in their voice etc. The same as you would normally read people in any social situation.
    CDfm wrote: »

    The "good girl" bit - what would you be doing for strangers to be saying good girl to you.


    In work, it's only happened twice in my current job, but it used to happen a lot in my previous one. Other non work situations but that's not nearly as often.


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    #149
    nevershutsup
    Closed Accounts Posts: 165 ✭✭nevershutsup


    my first thought on the topic is yes i would find it offensive....

    then i thought of how many times i say it in everyday use...

    bit bad of me then to find it offensive...


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    #150
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    JaneyMc wrote: »
    Their general demeanour. Their body language, the tone in their voice etc. The same as you would normally read people in any social situation.




    In work,

    So the good girl thing was work. Any chance of an age gap or did you just find it patronising. Guys get told Good lad all the time and it could be taken as a work compliment or less formal acknowledgement or thank you.

    But the love thing - analysing the body language etc -thats a bit heavy. You arent a mond reader and can easily get it wrong. We live in a less formal society and unless you take the leap and start addressing everyone as "Sir" "Ma'M" "Mr"and "Miss" in a formal way you are going to be addrerssed informally and get that. Do you address people formally as some people especially older people prefer it and would have used it to keep the over familiarity thing you dislike away ?

    Do you address people formally at work?


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    #151
    Alessandra
    Registered Users Posts: 1,276 ✭✭✭Alessandra


    Oh I absolutely despise use of the words: "hon", "honey", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "babe", "darling", "love",
    "loveen", "petal" or any variations of these. It's in my mind almost rude to address someone you barely know in such terms. A girl of about 16 in my local super valu calls me(and other customers) "sweetheart". It's headwrecking and I consciously go to another till just to avoid this. Yuck.


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