Late Quickies

rocky25

This newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:

wife: before we do this I have something I have to tell you.

Husband: we're married now, you can tell me anything.

Wife: I’m flat cheated.

Husband: I don't believe you…..prove it.

So she takes off her shirt.

Husband: holy Sh1t, I never seen a smaller chest, but I have something I have to tell you too.

Wife: we're married now you can tell me anything.

Husband:” I’m like a baby down below".

Wife: I don't believe you, prove it.

So he takes off his pants.

Wife: Wow, I thought you said you were like a baby?!



Husband: I am, its 6lbs 7ounces!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have.

She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks,

"Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!’ said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife,

'I just found out I can get €400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said,

'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?’ said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on €800 a year!'

GAAman

Nice one rock, first was best

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Janicus

rocky25 wrote: »

This newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:

wife: before we do this I have something I have to tell you.

Husband: we're married now, you can tell me anything.

Wife: I’m flat cheated.

Husband: I don't believe you…..prove it.

So she takes off her shirt.

Husband: holy Sh1t, I never seen a smaller chest, but I have something I have to tell you too.

Wife: we're married now you can tell me anything.

Husband:” I’m like a baby down below".

Wife: I don't believe you, prove it.

So he takes off his pants.

Wife: Wow, I thought you said you were like a baby?!



Husband: I am, its 6lbs 7ounces!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have.

She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks,

"Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!’ said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife,

'I just found out I can get €400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said,

'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?’ said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on €800 a year!'

Vegas one had me laughing for a while.:p