Gerry Ryan Megathread!

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2009 10:09am

I think this thread needs another quote from Ryan Kampf

tbh · 23-10-2009 10:10am

barakus wrote: »

Am I the only one who enjoys the show for all the reasons people hate it on here..?

The boasting, the self absorbed musings, the constant sleazy overtones and perving (twigging and snowballing??!!)
The humiliation of callers to the show (getting people to sing the monkey peeing song instead of talking about what actually they rang in for)

<snip.>

banned - 3 days. Once again, personal remarks about presenters are not allowed.

Degsy · 23-10-2009 10:19am

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

I think this thread needs another quote from Ryan Kampf

Sure thing...

"I go first class with Aer Lingus to JFK.There's a big seat,everybody's attentive and nice.I have afew drinks and when i'm with my family,i see them enjoying the fruits of my labour.
They're so completely and utterly unfazed by the privilege,but still delight in it.Then we get to New York and there's a limousine waiting to take us to Manhatten.We check into Fitzpatricks and go upsatirs to one of the suites or,as we did last year,to the penthouse,and look over the manhatten skyline,and know there's a nice restaurant booked for the evening.
And the path is always greased.Maybe U2 are playing in Giants stadium,and the backstage passes will be waiting for us in the Rockfeller.Or maybe its down to the Ritz to meet Paul McGUiness for lunch,then jump on the U2 plane to head for philadelphia.
I defy anybody to say thats not a good way to travel."

:rolleyes:

bilko1234 · 23-10-2009 10:56am

He's getting off on this conversation!!!!

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2009 10:59am

Gerry has a tool box for carrying contraceptives

VERYinterested · 23-10-2009 12:02pm

There must be another planet that breeds Irish people for greatness. Just reading the quotes from this nosepicker's (usually live on air, and then describes the bogeys) book and there is a similarity to the behaviour of Pee Flynn and John O'Donoghue.

We should stop and think how lucky we are that they walk amongst us :rolleyes:

ncmc · 23-10-2009 12:16pm

Degsy wrote: »

Sure thing...

"I go first class with Aer Lingus to JFK.There's a big seat,everybody's attentive and nice.I have afew drinks and when i'm with my family,i see them enjoying the fruits of my labour.
They're so completely and utterly unfazed by the privilege,but still delight in it.Then we get to New York and there's a limousine waiting to take us to Manhatten.We check into Fitzpatricks and go upsatirs to one of the suites or,as we did last year,to the penthouse,and look over the manhatten skyline,and know there's a nice restaurant booked for the evening.
And the path is always greased.Maybe U2 are playing in Giants stadium,and the backstage passes will be waiting for us in the Rockfeller.Or maybe its down to the Ritz to meet Paul McGUiness for lunch,then jump on the U2 plane to head for philadelphia.
I defy anybody to say thats not a good way to travel."

:rolleyes:

Is that a genuine quote from the book? It's worse than I thought. Man of the people indeed. :rolleyes:

Degsy · 23-10-2009 12:45pm

ncmc wrote: »

Is that a genuine quote from the book? It's worse than I thought. Man of the people indeed. :rolleyes:

It surely is..here's another

"A woman..was commisoned by a newspaper..to look for dirt..she told me she had to give up the job.
She said 'HE goes down to have his lunch at the four seasons,so unless you're prepared to shell out for lunch in the Four Seasons you cant get in there.
Then i followed him over to Paris,he's in the Hotel Maurice and you cant get in there unless you pay a grand at the door.
There's a limousine waiting for him outside.
He's ushered to the limousine and goes to a resaurant we cant afford to get into.The he goes to a nightclub.There's two women with him.I cant get into t his nightclub because you have to have your name on a special list or pay a grand to the guy on the door'
So she said 'I just gave up.Unless you guys are willing to pony up huge amounts of money for me to follow this guy,its not going to happen.All his private parties are held inside hotel suites.God knows what they do,but i certainly dont'"

This is page 2 and 3 of the introduction!!
Limousines,eh?
Paying hotels a grand to let you in,eh?
Paying a grand into a nightclub,eh?
All funded by the taxpayers because he reads the papers and talks filth on the radio...

eightyfish · 23-10-2009 12:45pm

ncmc wrote: »

Is that a genuine quote from the book? It's worse than I thought. Man of the people indeed. :rolleyes:

I'm jealous anyway. I'd happily take the first class, the limo and the penthouse. Then I'd sell the VIP U2 ticket and spend the cash in Greenwich Village.

ncmc · 23-10-2009 1:30pm

Degsy wrote: »

It surely is..here's another

"A woman..was commisoned by a newspaper..to look for dirt..she told me she had to give up the job.
She said 'HE goes down to have his lunch at the four seasons,so unless you're prepared to shell out for lunch in the Four Seasons you cant get in there.
Then i followed him over to Paris,he's in the Hotel Maurice and you cant get in there unless you pay a grand at the door.
There's a limousine waiting for him outside.
He's ushered to the limousine and goes to a resaurant we cant afford to get into.The he goes to a nightclub.There's two women with him.I cant get into t his nightclub because you have to have your name on a special list or pay a grand to the guy on the door'
So she said 'I just gave up.Unless you guys are willing to pony up huge amounts of money for me to follow this guy,its not going to happen.All his private parties are held inside hotel suites.God knows what they do,but i certainly dont'"

This is page 2 and 3 of the introduction!!
Limousines,eh?
Paying hotels a grand to let you in,eh?
Paying a grand into a nightclub,eh?
All funded by the taxpayers because he reads the papers and talks filth on the radio...

His book sounds hilarious, I think I might have to read it for the craic (borrowed from the library of course, don't want to add to his royalties

)

Aidric · 23-10-2009 1:42pm

Did Armando Iannucci ghost write this book? It contains some of the best comedy writing of recent years imo.

bilko1234 · 23-10-2009 2:27pm

ncmc wrote: »

His book sounds hilarious, I think I might have to read it for the craic (borrowed from the library of course, don't want to add to his royalties )

Can't imagine him getting any royalties from it.
100 grand downpayment and then it failed miserably.
Penguin lost a fortune apparently. So, buy away to your hearts content!:D
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Would-Real-Gerry-Please-Stand/dp/1844881873

Bondvillain · 23-10-2009 2:58pm

bilko1234 wrote: »

Penguin lost a fortune apparently. So, buy away to your hearts content!:D
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Would-Real-Gerry-Please-Stand/dp/1844881873

Jaysus lads, don't pay Amazon prices for it, lets be honest here, £3.32 + p&p is a scandalous rip off for what is fundamentally "the erotic ramblings of Mr Creosote & his considerably recognizable society friends".

If you feel you must have it, shop around. There's a bargain bookstore near me with a pile of it in the 4 for €10 basket. Haggle for it. Then wash your hands.

bilko1234 · 23-10-2009 3:02pm

Bondvillain wrote: »

Jaysus lads, don't pay Amazon prices for it, lets be honest here, £3.32 + p&p is a scandalous rip off for what is fundamentally "the erotic ramblings of Mr Creosote & his considerably recognizable society friends".

If you feel you must have it, shop around. There's a bargain bookstore near me with a pile of it in the 4 for €10 basket. Haggle for it. Then wash your hands.

Or just borrow Degsy's copy!

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2009 3:06pm

heres Gerrys own review of his book on Amazon

5.0 out of 5 stars GERRY STANDS UP, 5 April 2009

This is a wonderful book. Beautifully and plainly written, with an honesty that is far too rare in modern biographies, Gerry Ryan does not seek to obtain the approval of the reader. At a time when most autobiographies are little more than glorified press releases, Gerry stands and presents himself as he is; he allows us to see him and his world without deceit or apology.
Terrific stuff.

Aidric · 23-10-2009 3:13pm

Ha, I was just on Amazon a few mins ago having a look. The best part for me was the section "customers who bought this item also bought". In there was Clubland 14.
I'll say no more.

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2009 3:17pm

another reviewer wrote:

I find it objectionable how he boasts about his 1st class travel with his family to JFK in New York, where he is ferried by limosine to his penthouse suite in a top hotel before picking up backstage passes for U2 at the Rockerfeller Centre.If he does do this, fair play to him, but if he had some sense of dignity, he wouldn't boast about it
The whole book seems to be an irony free vehicle to boost what seems to be an already inflated sense of his own ego which left a bad taste in my mouth.
I heard this was an "Entertaining read", but I felt positively unclean having read it.

nice:pac:

ncmc · 23-10-2009 3:35pm

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

another reviewer wrote:

I find it objectionable how he boasts about his 1st class travel with his family to JFK in New York, where he is ferried by limosine to his penthouse suite in a top hotel before picking up backstage passes for U2 at the Rockerfeller Centre.If he does do this, fair play to him, but if he had some sense of dignity, he wouldn't boast about it
The whole book seems to be an irony free vehicle to boost what seems to be an already inflated sense of his own ego which left a bad taste in my mouth.
I heard this was an "Entertaining read", but I felt positively unclean having read it.

nice:pac:

Degsy by any chance? :pac:

Degsy · 23-10-2009 3:45pm

Get this:
"At the end of the day i think i'm a politician.
I'm utterly driven to convince people of my way.
I'm driven to convince people that my opinion is the correct opinion,that i can save them,that i can make thier lives better,that my analysis of something is the correct analysis,and that i will make you smile and i'll make you laugh,and i'll tell you whats right and whats wrong.
That,i think is the vanity of the politician and i have it in spades."

Answers on a postcard if you can make sense of this drivel.

Armin_Tamzarian · 23-10-2009 3:46pm

Has anyone here actually read the book?
I'm dying to read it now, I reckon I won't be able to put it down.

It should be re-titled "The Secret Life of G Ryan"
and marketed as the delusional ramblings of a small-time DJ with a God complex.

Degsy · 23-10-2009 3:46pm

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Gerry_Ryan

Hehehe

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2009 3:50pm

Degsy wrote: »

Get this:
"At the end of the day i think i'm a politician.
I'm utterly driven to convince people of my way.
I'm driven to convince people that my opinion is the correct opinion,that i can save them,that i can make thier lives better,that my analysis of something is the correct analysis,and that i will make you smile and i'll make you laugh,and i'll tell you whats right and whats wrong.
That,i think is the vanity of the politician and i have it in spades."

Answers on a postcard if you can make sense of this drivel.

tell me you made that one up:eek:

Degsy · 23-10-2009 4:00pm

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

tell me you made that one up:eek:

Nope..page 139 of his poxy book

bilko1234 · 23-10-2009 4:19pm

Degsy wrote: »

Get this:
"At the end of the day i think i'm a politician.
I'm utterly driven to convince people of my way.
I'm driven to convince people that my opinion is the correct opinion,that i can save them,that i can make thier lives better,that my analysis of something is the correct analysis,and that i will make you smile and i'll make you laugh,and i'll tell you whats right and whats wrong.
That,i think is the vanity of the politician and i have it in spades."

Answers on a postcard if you can make sense of this drivel.

"I'm driven to convince people....that I can save them"!!!!!!!!!
Hardy-****in-har

Meeja Ireland · 23-10-2009 4:43pm

bilko1234 wrote: »

"I'm driven to convince people....that I can save them"!!!!!!!!!

He could save them six hundred grand pretty easily.

kryptyk500 · 23-10-2009 6:49pm

I wonder if he had help writing his book...or if it is all his own work?? I shouldn't be, but I'm dying to read it now! It does seem like the deranged rantings of an egomaniac. Gerry can cure us!! Maybe I'll leave my darkened room and my keyboard....and stand up straight and walk in the sunlight!

Degsy · 23-10-2009 10:31pm

kryptyk500 wrote: »

I wonder if he had help writing his book...or if it is all his own work?? I shouldn't be, but I'm dying to read it now! It does seem like the deranged rantings of an egomaniac. Gerry can cure us!! Maybe I'll leave my darkened room and my keyboard....and stand up straight and walk in the sunlight!

Lollers.
Maybe he can cure me of my implaccable hatred and viciousness..Gerry!!Send forth thy wisdom to help the needy and succour thine aflicted.

deadhead13 · 23-10-2009 10:32pm

A review of his book in the Sunday Tribune entilted - "Would the real Gerry Ryan please sit down and think of others".

http://erindipityridesagain.blogspot.com/2008/10/would-real-gerry-ryan-please-sit-down.html

"The real revelation was the apparent extent of Ryans ego and how he loves to indulge it. His references to his wealth and how he likes to spend it were nauseating..... Finally,the real Gerry Ryan had stood up. A self-indulgent, vulgar man, loved by thousands, but perhaps none more than himself"

You can't really argue with that.

DublinWriter · 24-10-2009 8:31pm

Bondvillain wrote: »

If you feel you must have it, shop around. There's a bargain bookstore near me with a pile of it in the 4 for €10 basket. Haggle for it. Then wash your hands.

I would normally say that you could get it in Oxfam for a yoyo, but it was such a dog sales-wise that Penguin pulped most of their stock and didn't even try to remainder it to the trade.

Fuzzy Clam · 24-10-2009 9:58pm

DublinWriter wrote: »

Penguin pulped most of their stock

and if its recycled as Andrex, it may still end up in your house anyway....

Fit for purpose.

Gerry Ryan Megathread!

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