Monday Quickies

rocky25

The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand.

One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said,

"Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!"

"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket."

"Oh really," she spat.

"Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin.

As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee.

"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?

Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess.

The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city.

So upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.

He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied,

"There are only three doors in here, "she cried,"

One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb"!!

Hal1

<rizerz> A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
<rizerz> can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him
<rizerz> looking for work in six weeks.'
<rizerz> A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one
<rizerz> person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
<rizerz> A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we
<rizerz> can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have
<rizerz> them both looking for work in two weeks.'
<rizerz> A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind. We
<rizerz> took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House, and
<rizerz> now half the country is looking for work.

dh0661

Rockys back - looking forward to a good week