Out of Focus and off topic...

Calina

Did it come with those Carlsberg glasses? Cos although I don't drink that stuff either (I get slagged for what I do drink), I like those glasses.

_______________

on a separate topic my tri color ink cartridge is sick and unusually I don't have a spare to hand. I was going doing concept cards.

Tomorrow PC World I guess.

soccerc

Calina wrote: »

Did it come with those Carlsberg glasses? I like those glasses.

LOL, No it didn't come with those glasses.

I've a couple of cases of them left, got them years ago when they sponsored the FAI

Calina

Our house, courtesy of landlady, has really nice Absolut Vodka tall glasses. I must get a few for myself; I really like them.

I wouldn't mind but I don't touch vodka.

My printer is talking to me. I can't understand what it says but it doesn't sound happy.

CabanSail

AnCatDubh wrote: »

Ok - back on topic

Oi ..... You can get a slap on the wrist for that here?

AnCatDubh

CabanSail wrote: »

Oi ..... You can get a slap on the wrist for that here?

And you sir have been spending too much time at the lpearse school of smileys <- mines a boardsie smiley

l pearse

Two Blonde's walk into a building......You think one of them would have seen it......!

Calina

They were trying to take photographs of it with a wide angle lens.

l pearse

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

l'm so bad....:o & a brunette...:)

sNarah

:(Brrrrr... Another stupid job interview again today... Don't feel like it!:(

Why goes a blonde sit in the corner when it's cold?

Coz it's 90° in there...

Ha... I'm abusing my own sort here... Oh oh

Morrisseeee

He's gone, but not forgotten: (could he be considered a 'male blonde':eek::p)
President Bush is rehearsing his speech, using the teleprompter, for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games.
He begins with 'Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!'
Immediately his speech writer rushes over to the lectern and whispers in the President's ear:
'Mr. President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath.

sNarah

Just a little rant here: some idiot crashed into my car on a roundabout, and the just took off... Grrr... What a muppet... :mad:

And this was even béfore all the snow came down

So common guys, cheer me up with some more jokes about the likes of myself

longshanks

"Dr, would you kiss me?" says the blonde patient.
"No", says the doctor. "You are a very beautiful
woman but it's against my code of ethics.

"Please, just one kiss", the blonde asks again.
"It's totally out of the question" he replies.
"Strictly speaking you shouldn't even be sucking my cock emmm... lollipop."

TelePaul

This one's jsut for the job-interview girl who had her car carshed into.

I've forgotten how to throw a boomerang....

wait....it's coming back to me.....


(I know, I'm awesome)

CabanSail

It would ne interesting to see what they could do with a Camera

CraggyIslander

Two balloons are walking in the desert

one balloon says to other "look out for that
cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


/baaahhd joke corner :pac:

sNarah

TelePaul wrote: »

This one's jsut for the job-interview girl who had her car carshed into.

I've forgotten how to throw a boomerang....

wait....it's coming back to me.....


(I know, I'm awesome)

:rolleyes: Cheers!

CabanSail wrote: »

It would ne interesting to see what they could do with a Camera

:eek: Not sure if I like this! That's so weird! The americans in the background going "OMG!!!" are funny though

ThOnda

Calina

I love xkcd.



and sometimes wtd makes me laugh.

Mycroft H

What do you call ten kerrymen standing in the middle of a field?

What did the kerryman call his tiger?

Morrisseeee

David Bissonette: When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry: After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates: By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Anonymous: Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas: The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,'What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud: I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous: Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Sam Kinison: There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

James Holt McGavran: I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.

CabanSail

A guy I used to work with would often say

"I never knew how good life was until I got married, but then it was too late"

Calina

Strange how it's always the man does the asking to marry though, isn't it?

John

Calina wrote: »

I love xkcd.

Hahaha! I love that one!

l pearse

This is a very funny story l found on the 2fm web site, lt looks long but so worth it in the end.....:D:D:D
Linda


AN IRISHMAN'S DIARY IN CANADA - WHERE SNOW IS SNOW..

DEC 20th
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years the wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.

DEC 24th
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement. Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose and had a snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in their fun.

DEC 26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again and shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish-grey.

JAN 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on me arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was broken.

JAN 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had another 8 inches of white sh1te last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush, that bastard snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel?!

JAN 9th
More feckin' snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the feckin' house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. I hit a feckin' deer on the way to casualty and the car was written off.

JAN 13th
That feckin' bastard white sh1te just keeps on coming down. Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the postbox. The little brats next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back, I'll shove that carrot so far up the little brats arse it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it. If I ever catch the driver of the snowplough I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the bastard hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like Michael "effin'" Schumacher and buries the driveway again.

JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of feckin' snow and feckin' ice and feckin' sleet and god knows what other white sh1te fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice-pick. Can't move my feckin' toes, I'm pissing icicle's and haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. It's minus 20 and there's more feckin' snow forecast.

FeCK THIS. I'M MOVING BACK HOME TO THE RAIN...

rahtkennades

Hey L Pearse, that's excellent.

Do you have a link to that? I have a friend in Canada I'd love to send that to.

Cheers

Des

Pigwidgeon

CraggyIslander wrote: »

Two balloons are walking in the desert

one balloon says to other "look out for that
cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


/baaahhd joke corner :pac:

i laughed... but then i'm a sucker for crap jokes, sometimes they're the best.

l pearse

rahtkennades wrote: »

Hey L Pearse, that's excellent.

Do you have a link to that? I have a friend in Canada I'd love to send that to.

Cheers

Des

http://www.rte.ie/2fm/ryanshow/1256101.html

rahtkennades

l pearse wrote: »

http://www.rte.ie/2fm/ryanshow/1256101.html

Ta muchly!

Dragan

Calina wrote: »

Strange how it's always the man does the asking to marry though, isn't it?

Apparently it says the tone, as after marrige the bloke tends to need permission to do things which previously were a given.

Dragan

Right, after getting a camera that allows shutter speeds of up to 1/8000 of a second i now think water is far more interesting than it was to me previously.

Also, the nifty fifty is most likely going to turn into the best 80quid i ever spent.

And i imagine none of your are suprised by any of this.:)