Sensitive problem with person in work

LegacyUser

I'm having a issue with someone in work and it is really upsetting me.

I started a job about a few months ago and from the start there was a girl who never spoke to me. never said hello or goodbye etc. she says it everyone else! even the person who started after me.

Part of my job involves contact with her for work purposes, I was doing this and never getting an acknowledgement or anything.
one day i told her an instruction that i was told by the manager i was supposed to tell her. she snapped don't tell me tell so and so.

i did, they looked at me like i had three heads.

from then on i didn't bother telling her anything and avoided all communications (i had persisted in my pleasentries up until that point incase she was shy or something) because i felt intimidated by her. yesterday the same situation arose, i told the person she said i should have told the last time, again they looked at me like i had three heads.

next thing i get a painful poke on my back practically shouting at me because i hadn't told her! then she tells the manager, acting all upset. everytime i saw her she made some agressive statement to me eventually i said to her in an assertive tone, 'last time i said that to you, you told me i shouldnt'.
she completly denied this and again went to the manager. basically accussing me of lying and being incompedent.

i'm dreading going in to work again.

I'm afraid that if i say anything to the manager i will be accussed of being prejudiced because shes eastern european, or that me thinking she is being rude is just because she doesn't speak english as her first language. even though shes perfectly able to give out to me and make me feel intimidated. and all the other staff who dont have english as their first language are perfectly able to say hello, yes, no and aren't rude or intimidating.

in a normal climate i would probaly take the chance of making a complaint about her but i'm afraid because i'm so new i might lose my job for causing trouble.
I don't even know how to word my defence if my manager asks me about it.

has anyone got any ideas on how to deal with her?

IsThatSo?

This girl is bullying you and if ypu don't sort it out she will continue to do so.

It really doesn't look to me like there is any point in talking to her about it, unless you can do so in front of a colleague who will witness her reaction. Mind you, if you could do that, who is to say she wouldn't be all nice in front of the colleague and then continue with her nasty ways.

IMO the only way to deal with this is to have a chat with your Manager. I had a similiar situation and after a fortnight I talked to my Manager (who had witnessed this person being rude to me for no reason) and just said I wanted to check the lie of the land rather than make a formal complaint and asked how I should best deal with this person. Using that approach I didn't ruffle any feathers but made my point and the Manager did check back with me a few times over the coming months to see if things were ok.
If you take an "I like some advice on how best to deal with this person as you would know her quite well" approach then you won't cause waves. Do make it clear that its upsetting you though.

Behaviour like this can make life at work very miserable and I know a very close friend of mine quit a permanent, well paid job, because of this kind of carry on. Deal with it now before it gets worse, the longer this person gets away with the carry on the worse it will get.

Good luck.

morrowa64

Sounds like its her who feels intimidated by your arrival. Clear the air conversation with you and her and the manager might be the way to go , better off get everything out in the open, will only get worse if you let it eta away at you

Good luck

kiwikid

morrowa64 wrote: »

Sounds like its her who feels intimidated by your arrival.

my advice is be clear, smilie, calm but take no ****.
take the message to her if she tells you tell x then reply " no i was to tell you and i told you, right?" and walkaway. if she is blunt be blunt back. if she polks you tell her there is no need to poke you that you are not a dog and she can kindly speak to you. the only way to deal with bullies is to keep your own standards high but stand up to her at every comment, move. When you leave say goodbye to everyone. if she omits you when she says her goodbyes then you add it in with a smile and turn away.
Imagine what its like for others in the office?