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kissing a guy = kissing a girl?

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    #182
    Poloman
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭Poloman


    I'm with Shelly on this.

    It needs to be outlined in the relationship boundaries. Would I be happy for my girl to be kissing other girls? Yes only in private though and I should be allowed join in!

    See thats my rule but I know she never would :-(

    Its easier for a guy to forgive a girl if she came home and said she snogged another girl on a night out for a laugh. It would be different if she went home with her and had sex with each other.

    If a guy came home and said he kissed another fella its a different story simply because most women dont get turned on by 2 guys kissing whereas most men do get turned on by two women kissing. I was with a girl before and she let me kiss her mates and we had a few threesomes and she kissed other girls which totally turned me on. We had talked about it before asking each other how we would feel if x and x happened.. hence my belief in pre defined.


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    #183
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Poloman wrote: »
    I'm with Shelly on this.

    It needs to be outlined in the relationship boundaries. Would I be happy for my girl to be kissing other girls? Yes only in private though and I should be allowed join in!

    See thats my rule but I know she never would :-(

    Its easier for a guy to forgive a girl if she came home and said she snogged another girl on a night out for a laugh. It would be different if she went home with her and had sex with each other.

    If a guy came home and said he kissed another fella its a different story simply because most women dont get turned on by 2 guys kissing whereas most men do get turned on by two women kissing. I was with a girl before and she let me kiss her mates and we had a few threesomes and she kissed other girls which totally turned me on. We had talked about it before asking each other how we would feel if x and x happened.. hence my belief in pre defined.


    Love it, fantastic! Exactly the type of thing I was talking about - I presume outside of the threesomes you'd have been monogamous? Thanks so much for sharing, it's great to have a real-life example of how this kind of relationship can work in practice, in Ireland, for normal monogamous people :)


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    #184
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


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    #185
    LivingDeadGirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,150 ✭✭✭LivingDeadGirl


    My bf would probably break up with me if I did it and rightly so(it would also work the other way around of course), we've set our boundaries and any sexual contact with either gender to us is cheating. I do think it'd be worse if the girl/guy in the relationship is getting off on it though, as opposed to just 'doing it for the laugh', whoever thinks it's funny?


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    #186
    talloow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭talloow


    this is just what I need right now! I have been in a realtionship with my boyfriend for a year now, and at a party the day after our first anniversary I kissed another girl. He was really not happy, though hes not the guy to talk about feelings despite me trying to talk to him about it; though he definatley wasn't pleased. However, I see it as meaningless and what I did when I was very very drunk, it has happened before aswell, but as he has never really told me how much he doesnt like it I dont see it myself as something really bad when I am drunk. Im really confused as what to do; I can never see him leaving me despite him not liking it; but I see it as meaningless and fun. Confused as what to do - little help?


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    #187
    JC 2K3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,794 ✭✭✭JC 2K3


    Would you mind him kissing another girl for some meaningless fun?


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    #188
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    I'm gonna answer that question (even if uninvited :p). Depends on the situation - I'd be lying if I said I'd be completely cool with it though. I wouldn't mind him kissing a guy at all - don't imagine it happening though. And therein lies the difference - if you're confident there's no threat of your partner actually fancying this person they kiss, then it's obviously gonna be less of a problem.
    bluewolf wrote: »
    What's wrong with that! :)
    Oh nothing at all. But while the term "bi-curious" is suitable for that (getting intimate with a member of the same sex to see what it's like), I don't think it's the correct term for actually falling for someone of the same sex (when you normally go for members of the opposite sex).


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    #189
    talloow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭talloow


    I wouldnt mind another guy, though I know he would never do that (girls tend to be the ones who kiss each other more it seems), but I would mind another girl. I wouldnt ever kiss another guy.


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    #190
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    talloow wrote: »
    Im really confused as what to do; I can never see him leaving me despite him not liking it; but I see it as meaningless and fun. Confused as what to do - little help?

    If its meaningless then it shouldn't be any effort for you to give it up.


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    #191
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    brianthebard wrote: »
    If its meaningless then it shouldn't be any effort for you to give it up.

    exactly.

    i'm actually not going to say what i want to say incase it gets me banned. i dunno, you just hit a nerve. that is of course if you plan on doing it again. if you don't then i'd make it my business to apologize my ass off. i can see where you're coming from but now that you've done it theres no point trying it again. my ex was pretty easy going with the get outta jail cards with regard to exploring my maybe bi side but i found that it felt like cheating so stopped.

    nothing is meaningless if you enjoy it.


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    #192
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    talloow wrote: »
    However, I see it as meaningless and what I did when I was very very drunk, it has happened before aswell, but as he has never really told me how much he doesnt like it I dont see it myself as something really bad when I am drunk. Im really confused as what to do; I can never see him leaving me despite him not liking it; but I see it as meaningless and fun. Confused as what to do - little help?

    Well, my bf's never really told me he wouldn't be happy with me participating in a gang-bang... I still wouldn't do it without his permission though.*

    It's really not ok to kiss anyone outside of your boyfriend unless that sort of thing has been agreed upon in advance. Bad form, OP. You made a mistake, best apologise and make sure it never happens again.


    *wouldn't do it at all, actually... just realised how bad that sounded!


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    #193
    talloow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭talloow


    I did apologise to him and hes forgiven me (again), he is pretty amazing, I did say that I am not fully in control of myself when Im drunk though I wasnt using that as an excuse. To me its not really cheating but it is to him and thats what matters if Im going to keep this going.


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    #194
    Blush_01
    Registered Users Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    talloow wrote: »
    I did apologise to him and hes forgiven me (again), he is pretty amazing, I did say that I am not fully in control of myself when Im drunk though I wasnt using that as an excuse. To me its not really cheating but it is to him and thats what matters if Im going to keep this going.

    You were using it as a casual, passing "observation of fact"?

    Tie a bow around it, but it's still an excuse. More fool him if he repeatedly accepts it in my opinion.


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    #195
    Princessa
    Registered Users Posts: 581 ✭✭✭Princessa


    Sometimes id give one of the girls a peck on a night out, the Oh has never ever brought it up, but i guess tis just a peck on the lips not a full blown kiss. I doubt most fella have a problem with girls kissing other girls but a friend of the opposite sex is a BIG no no!!!


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    #196
    pisslips
    Closed Accounts Posts: 833 ✭✭✭pisslips


    It's fine to say that everything's fair if you discuss it and he accepts that you can kiss another girl and it's nobody elses buisness but there's the bigger issue then of who is dominating the relationship.
    I mean that doesn't make it ok if you're basically bullying the guy and he agrees because of his low self-esteem.

    It's almost like you're attitude is that you'll just have a pick 'a' mix and since this relationship is convenient for the time being and he lets me be with other women, I'm pretty happy.
    Pretty sad way to be imo.

    I mean if you want to be with another woman and so does he then that's fine. You can't say that it's fine if he's with another man, knowing that he would never want to be anyway. Thats like him saying ''I want to be with other women but you can eat my **** if you want.''
    Obviously it's not fair, and if you were to agree to that condition obviously he would completely dominate the relationship.


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    #197
    TomRooney
    Registered Users Posts: 458 ✭✭TomRooney


    Kirnsy wrote: »
    i was wondering where the LL would stand on this??

    is a girl kissing another girl while in a relationship perceived as cheating??

    most lads(myself included) find the thought of two girls kissing pretty hot!

    However if my gf were to be kissing another girl on a drunken night out id actually get a bit pissed off!!!

    is there something wrong with me?!or does anyone else find this makes sense!!


    of course it is cheating, in fact it is worse than if she was cheating with a guy, grow up you foolish man.

    i personaly find lesbianism repulsive.


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    #198
    g'em
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    TomRooney, please try and put across your point of view without having to resort to insulting other posters.


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    #199
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    TomRooney wrote: »
    of course it is cheating, in fact it is worse than if she was cheating with a guy
    How?
    i personaly find lesbianism repulsive.
    Why?


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    #200
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    TomRooney wrote: »
    i personaly find lesbianism repulsive.

    I personally don't find it repulsive at all. I find it attractive. As for the OP. I dunno tbh. Part of me might be annoyed but really I doubt I'd care all that much, I'd probably try and join in!!


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    #201
    Lynskey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭Lynskey


    Kirnsy wrote: »
    i was wondering where the LL would stand on this??

    is a girl kissing another girl while in a relationship perceived as cheating??

    most lads(myself included) find the thought of two girls kissing pretty hot!

    However if my gf were to be kissing another girl on a drunken night out id actually get a bit pissed off!!!

    is there something wrong with me?!or does anyone else find this makes sense!!

    Ask Katy Perry :)


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    #202
    CursedSkeptic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 137 ✭✭CursedSkeptic


    I am gay, and if my boyfriend kissed a girl I would be angry!


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    #203
    katie 2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭katie 2


    no ur not, if ur with some u shouldnt kiss someone else


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