The best of intentions.

Whats the best and worst advice you've recieved from a woman in your life?
And did you listen/revolt?

CathyMoran

The worst advice from a friend was not to marry my husband but she now acknowledges that she made a mistake - I oviously ignored her advice and went with my gut/ the best advice has been that we can get pregnant again - we live in hope.

Er can I change that - the worst advice that someone ever gave was to my husband from my so called best friend saying that I was not ready to marry him (not the same friend as above) - he took her advice and we ended up delaying our wedding by 6 months.

Eviledna

The best advice, amongst many great bouts of great advice, came from my Mam, who told me to follow my heart. She said that even if something that I was doing seemed like the "right thing to do" but was making me so very unhappy, that it was not the right thing to do! She reminded me that sometimes it takes more courage to say "I can't" rather than signing myself up for something that wasn't right for me just because I couldn't admit that it was too hard and didn't suit me.

Sometimes the best advice is to hear that you can't, and that you shouldn't, especially if like me you are the kind of person that will always bite off more that they can chew, often for pride's sake.

The worst advice I ever got was from a fair weather friend who told me that leaving the poop I was going out with and persuing the greatest love of my life was a bad idea, even though she knew the poop was cheating on me and generally making a fool of me, and that the new fella was more like me than anyone else.
I found out later she told me this because she fancied the new fella for herself. She completely betrayed me, but I'm happy to say I didn't heed her advice for long

Macha

Worst Advice: From a single friend, every time I mentioned a problem in the relationship, she would say "I wouldn't put up with that". She basically thought I should dump him all the time. She was projecting her own impossibly high standards onto him (part of the reason she has such a troubled love-life).

Didn't listen and almost 4 year laters we're still together and impossibly happy!

Best Advice: From my mum (who else? she's the fountain of all knowledge).
-nobody's perfect, not even you so pick your battles
-communication is the key so don't stay with someone who can't/won't communicate
-learn how to have discussions, not arguments where the issue never gets resolved
-when talking about a problem, be careful of the language you use: don't be accusatory and don't raise your voice.
-sometimes you have to be "cute" and know how to deal with men. For example, she wanted my dad to fix a door and he wouldn't. So one day she said "Yes, I understand. It's a very difficult job-probably better that we get an expert in who knows what they're doing". It was fixed by the end of the week.

CeilingCat

Worst advice: I confided in someone a few years ago that I wanted to end the relationship I was in because I was unhappy. Her advice - stay with him because he made a lot of money and was good looking :mad:

Needless to say, I left him.

Best advice: Ongoing, from my mum - if there's something I want to do, then go for it, don't let anyone discourage me. Even if she's not convinced, she'll always tell me to follow my heart and go for it if it's what I want.

GirlInterrupted

Best advice: That I am anybody's equal, but not necessarily better than anybody.

Worst advice: Get your hair cut, it would suit you short...

Both my mother.

Oryx

Best advice: My mum (arent mums great?) On blagging: Always keep your head up and look as if you know where you are going. Youll get in anywhere.

Worst advice: Dye my hair red. (my hairdresser).

My ex sis in law also once told me Id end up a spinster half mad living with cats. Which was actually the best incentive I ever had to get off my arse and make something of my life. So bad or good advice, Im not sure, but I dont have any cats.

CeilingCat

Oryx wrote: »

My ex sis in law also once told me Id end up a spinster half mad living with cats. Which was actually the best incentive I ever had to get off my arse and make something of my life. So bad or good advice, Im not sure, but I dont have any cats.

Hey... I'm half mad and I have cats. Hasn't cost me a boyfriend yet... :P

metrovelvet

The best advice I ever got was from men but since this is about advice from women....

Never wear cheap makeup - My grandmother
History is bunk. Look at art history. - My grandmother.
You want to know what someone is really thinking? Look at their feet.
worst:

Your a ****ing anorexic. Eat.
Go to court.
don't worry it will all work out.

Snowie

CeilingCat wrote: »

Hey... I'm half mad and I have cats. Hasn't cost me a boyfriend yet... :P

if you have more then 5 cats your insane fact....
Worse peace of advice I ever got ???

Tell her how you feel of a friend who was a girl. about fancying a girl i new really well... We still dont really talk all that much any more.....:( passed fancying her wish the friendship could be there agian...

CeilingCat

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

if you have more then 5 cats your insane fact....

Phew.... only have 3 .
And one was unintentional.... he was for the chop because nobody wanted him so I adopted him.

MysticalSoul

Worst advice: (from my mum) you are looking for trouble with that top - it is a v-neck, showing the tiniest amount of cleavage :eek:. I didn't listen as I love the top

ladyella

Worst advise (from Mam): That skirt suit is lovely on you!! It very much WASNT!:rolleyes:

Best (also from Mam): Dont wear your heart on your sleeve, people take advantage too much of you if you do

St Bill

Worst advice : I was having worries about a man I was seeing, and my married friend told me to ring him up and end it.....I've since learned you can't take advice on romance from a girl who found her soulmate when she was 24
Best advice : My mother told me to do what I want to do, and not because everyone else is doing it. She's gone 16 years, yet I still carry that with me wherever I go and whatever I do

sam34

it's such a tricky one, giving advice isnt it?
i remember my siblings and i agonising over whether to advise our sister not to marry this guy
it was so obvious they were not right for each other
they had broken up acrimoniously, gotten together one night months later, on which she got pregnant
he then proposed
she subsequently had a nervous breakdown and spent months in hospital
they married when she was probably still a bit unwell

they didnt make it to their first anniversary


we said nothing, on the grounds that we would probably have ended up alienating her

i often wonder now would we have saved her a lot of heartbreak if we'd spoken out?

St Bill

Wow that was a tough one. It's hard to watch someone you love make a mistake, but I think it's even harder to point it out to them because it might ruin your relationship with them. Maybe it was something she had to go through to find out it wasn't the right thing for her?

sam34

it was very ahrd on all of us.
my parents did speak out before she married him, and her relationship with them is strained to this day (9 years later)

The Sweeper

Best advice: again from my mother, telling me that whatever else goes on in a relationship, you have to be kind to each other. If you're kind, you can weather a lot of what the unkind world throws at you.

Worst advice: Jesus, but there's plenty of it. What I'm probably most guilty of is not acting on my own good advice, but hopefully I've learned me lessons.

I've taken some terrible direction in the past from people who didn't fully understand what they were directing me on. Don't go to art school, you're not good enough to be an artist. (Yes, because if you go to art school it's because you want to paint pictures for a living. Hmm.) Don't do anything challenging, because you'll be disappointed by failure. (Thanks for the vote of confidence.) Don't rock the boat. (Stop projecting your fear of authority on to me, thanks.)

Unfortunately I've had a lot of 'would you not just give up and take an easier route' advice through my life, and the fact is that if you're enjoying fighting for something yourself, ignore the input of other people. Just because you might look frazzled and stressed, only you know your own mind. I've made some of the worst decisions of my life because other people thought they were rescuing me from something.

You have to trust your gut.

Snowie

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

I've taken some terrible direction in the past from people who didn't fully understand what they were directing me on. Don't go to art school, you're not good enough to be an artist. (Yes, because if you go to art school it's because you want to paint pictures for a living. Hmm.) Don't do anything challenging, because you'll be disappointed by failure. (Thanks for the vote of confidence.) Don't rock the boat. (Stop projecting your fear of authority on to me, thanks.)

.

that advice is all very irish ...
I allways rock the boat gets rid of stragelers

Stheno

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

if you have more then 5 cats your insane fact....

Ha! I've seven

Snowie

CeilingCat wrote: »

Phew.... only have 3 .
And one was unintentional.... he was for the chop because nobody wanted him so I adopted him.

wel thats okay its when you have seven like noug below you should worry

nouggatti wrote: »

Ha! I've seven

:eek: that would drive me mad i have 3 and my god there anoying ones senial to and 20 human years old :eek:

The Sweeper

I have four cats. And five temporary foster kittens, which I'm not counting, because that makes nine cats and that's just unreasonable...

spinandscribble

Best advice: probably from my dad. He told me to follow my heart always, and do whatever I want in life and to hell with anyone that says otherwise, including him.

Worst advice: hmm there has been a lot of bad advise.
Top three:
1: my last ex "you shouldn't care about anyone but yourself, charities stupid and pointless"
2: a male friend "never talk to our bf more then three times a week otherwise he'll get bored"

but the outright winner is *drum roll*
3: my mother "you need one man for fun, one to make you laugh and one for money"

The Sweeper

...which is actually good advice if it's all the same one man.

spinandscribble

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

...which is actually good advice if it's all the same one man.

no, she definately meant three men. i remember she also said only ONE needed to be attractive and "don't be a slut honey, don't sleep with all of them".

what a peach.

watna

Best Advice: From my mum, (she actually tells me this ever few months or so). Always, always have your own bank account!

Worst Advice: A friend of mine was going out with a guy from NZ, I sort of started seeing his best mate from NZ who was also living in Dublin. She did everything to try and turn me off him (including a lot of lies) because it didn't suit her for me to get together with him (I found out later she was cheating on him and didn't want her situation complicated by me being with this guy).

3 years later I'm living in New Zealand with him and very happy. She broke up with her boyfriend and the guy she cheated on him with and that's the last I heard from her (thankfully!)

That's advice I'm glad I didn't follow seeming as it was all self-motivated on her part. I learned a lot about what friends you can trust from that so in a way it was a good thing too.

Will

worst advice - my grandmother 'chew your food 42 times else you will choke on it' yeah dinner that day was very very long :pac: scratch that, someone basically told me to stay away from my current girlfriend for various reasons. Thankfully I ignored them and am as happy as can be

best advice - not sure, probably my mother saying something along the lines of 'don't mind what others think, be yourself' not sure. too late to think coherently

Chinafoot

Best: "Always have your running away money" and "pick your battles".

Worst: I honestly can't think of any really bad advice.

allabouteve

Never be financially dependant on a man.

If in doubt, show some cleavage.

Heels can always be higher, no matter how tall you are (6ft).

You never should regret the things you do, only the things you don't do.

All these gems were given to me by my best friends mother.

Xiney

both from my mother:


best: Never talk about money. It's crass.

worst: Don't shave your legs, nobody can see they're hairy (yeah, right)

Aloysius Flyte

best: my mum - Never let the sun near your face

worst : best friend - getting back with my ex would be the biggest mistake of my life. I believed her, silly me, friend was just jealous:(