drummer jokes

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 21-01-2009 2:23pm #1

i get made fun of quite a bit as a drummer so im makeing this thread so all you guitarists, bassist and any key boars players can use this to get the jokes out of your systems. go.

keefg · 21-01-2009 2:56pm

Well the obvious one that springs to mind is.........

What do you call someone who hangs around musicians....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.The Drummer!

Badum Tish!

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 21-01-2009 2:56pm

nice

noby · 21-01-2009 4:15pm

How do you know a drummer is knocking at the door? It speeds up.

In the interest of fairness:

How do you know a singer is at the door? He doesn't know when to come in.

deadhead13 · 21-01-2009 4:25pm

What does a drummer use for contraception?

His personality. BOOM!BOOM!

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 21-01-2009 4:36pm

im making up the rules as i go along since i started the thread so now drummers are allowd to make jokes about the rest. ill start.

How many guitarists does it take to change a light-bulb ??

100

1 guitarist to change the bulb and the other 99 to tell him how they would have done it better

Rigsby · 21-01-2009 4:50pm

noby wrote: »

How do you know a singer is at the door? He doesn't know when to come in.

af_thefragile · 21-01-2009 5:05pm

Producer to Drummer: "That beat is really good but could you add a bit more dynamics to it?"
Drummer: "Right but I'm playing as loud as I can"

Q. What did the drummer say before he got kicked out of the band?
A. "Hey guys, why don't we try out one of my songs...?"

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 21-01-2009 5:08pm

af_thefragile wrote: »

Producer to Drummer: "That beat is really good but could you add a bit more dynamics to it?"
Drummer: "Right but I'm playing as loud as I can"

thats brilliant

21-01-2009 5:14pm

how can you tell when the stage is level?

there's drool coming out both sides of the drummers mouth!

21-01-2009 5:25pm

how do you get a guitarist off your doorstep?

pay him for the pizza.

mp3guy · 21-01-2009 5:30pm

noby wrote: »

How do you know a drummer is knocking at the door? It speeds up.

This is the only joke so far in which "drummer" isn't interchangeable with many other things.

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 21-01-2009 5:39pm

how many bass players does it take to change a light bulb

1 but he'l do it too loudly

Hellrazer · 21-01-2009 5:45pm

Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine??

You only have to punch the beat into a drum machine once!!

deadhead13 · 21-01-2009 6:45pm

What has three legs and an arsehole?

A drum stool

RHRN · 21-01-2009 6:52pm

What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.

What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

GLaDOS · 21-01-2009 6:54pm

How can you tell if a drum solo is really bad?

The bass player notices

davylee · 21-01-2009 11:14pm

deadhead13 wrote: »

What has three legs and an arsehole?

very good

Insect Overlord · 22-01-2009 1:57am

keefg wrote: »

What do you call someone who hangs around musicians....
.
.The Drummer!

Yeah, I was going to post that one.
I remember it as being "What do you call a guy with no talent who hangs around with musicians?"

Great thread!

Mutt McL · 22-01-2009 2:39am

did you hear the one about the bass player who locked his keys in his car ......he had to break the window to get the drummer out:D

John · 22-01-2009 3:02am

What did the drummer get on his music exam?

Drool.

NoQuarter · 23-01-2009 1:58am

What do ya call a drummer with half a brain??

Gifted.

NoQuarter · 23-01-2009 2:01am

lurrrvs2sp00ge wrote: »

How many guitarists does it take to change a light-bulb ??

100

1 guitarist to change the bulb and the other 99 to tell him how they would have done it better

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five.

One to change it, and the other four to stand around and talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it!

craiginireland · 24-01-2009 4:59pm

Why did the drummer stare at the frozen juice can?
Because it said, "Concentrate".

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 26-01-2009 12:50pm

keep em comen

lurrrvs2sp00ge · 29-01-2009 5:49pm

Awwh, well it was a good thread while it lasted but its aaaaaaaallllll over now.

Firetrap · 30-01-2009 2:48am

A little boy says to his mother "When I grow up I'm going to be a drummer"
His mother laughs and looks at him pityingly and says "You can't do both"

Joke told by an actual drummer - Nick Mason from Pink Floyd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdvsbMZaxWs

norwegianwood · 01-02-2009 9:56pm

why don't drummers play hide and seek?

no one would go looking for them:D

what a waste of my 100th post.........

Red Sleeping Beauty · 02-02-2009 12:24am

I love drummers

SlipperyPeople · 04-02-2009 12:06pm

[FONT=Times New Roman, Times, serif]A man goes to a pacific island for vacation. As the boat nears, he notices the constant sound of drumming. As he gets off the boat, he asks a native how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when drumming stops."
Later that day, the drumming is still going and it is really starting to get to him. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been spooked. "Very bad when drumming stops," he says, and hurries off. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman, Times, serif] After a couple of days with little sleep, the man had had enough. He grabbed the first native he saw, slammed him up against a tree, and shouted, "What happens when the drumming stops?!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times, serif] The native replied, "Bass solo." [/FONT]

drummer jokes

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