Isnt it strange?

Jammyc

First time posting in this forum, so apologies if my posts are muck.

Just remembering thoughts, like

Isnt it strange how the shyest, insecure people can seem so arrogant and assertive if you dont know them on even a aquaintence level. And because you think theyre arrogant and overly assertive, you leave them be for fear of being shot down. Then in reality you end up apprearing like the cocky one?

Im sorry if that isnt clearly explained. I just think that certain new age cultures have allowed this to become more prominent. Bebo and facebook for example. Someone can create their profile and appear to have all the confidence in the world, but in reality, if you talk to them, youll find their quite timid.

Does anyone else agree or have anything to say on this?

Again apologies if this isnt the usual form for this forum.

Joe1919

Jammyc wrote: »

....Isnt it strange how the shyest, insecure people can seem so arrogant and assertive .....

I do know some shy people who are like that and can 'flip' sometimes, especially when they get angry or have a few drinks.
One possible explanation is that SOME shy and insecure people bottle up or withhold their feelings and become resentfull about themselves and others and things they should have said but were perhaps too insecure to say. A shy person may also allow others to walk all over them and may lack the skill of having the appropiate level of assertiveness at the appropiate time.
These bottled up feelings which can lead to a build up of resentment, are often revealed after a few drinks, when they drop there shyness and a different side to their character seems to come out.

nyarlothothep

Are you talking about genuinely shy/timid people, or people who are just quiet and don't bother getting into debates/speaking their mind if they judge the outcome to be invariably a waste of energy? The latter can often mistakenly be interpreted as being aloof/arrogant but this is often not the case. If they are assertive it may be the case that they know a lot about a given subject matter, again I wouldn't interpret that to be arrogance, unless they were being confrontational about it. Also not being outspoken can be interpreted as being timid, which may be far from the truth.

mayblue

speaking of my personal experience as a shy person, i can tell you that my shyness in public manifests itself by creating some sort of wall or mask where i appear to be the unapproachable person.
this happens when i find myself in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people

however, if someone had the courage to approach me with a friendly and non-intimidating attitude i would be quite friendly even if embarassed or blushing up to my eyeballs...

however saying that, this is my reaction. i have friends who are shy who respond by being extremely funny and cheerful with others because laughter helps to relax them and the people around

cas91

Completley agree. My view of it is that if you're a shy individualor paranoid it is extremely hard to approach or chat away to strangers unless they come over to you first. But the fact that you are unable to approach them may make you seem cold, arrogant, and unapproachable, so in the end you lose out both ways. I am always at ease with someone if they initially start talking to me , but I find it difficult (without the aid of alcohol of course) to make the first step to converse with others.
If I'm making any sense at all? But yeah it is strange, kind of a vicious circle in a way.

Crumble Froo

and thus, this tshirt was created.




and i love about the internet that i can type without having to worry about stuttering or stumbling or mucking up my words, and that i can just join in/start threads, which, as real life conversation, i could never do (sober). just shy and with huge huge huge amounts of self consciousness, i find myself living in these states of complete paranoia as to what people think of me.

but i do love that tshirt.