question re baby ann case

metrovelvet

A discussion came up on humanties which has led me to ask this question of adult adoptees.

How would you feel if you found out that during your infancy your natural parents sought to restore custody to them selves, went to court for it, but a judge refused and decided that you stay with your adoptive parents [not due to incompetence on part of natural parents but because you had bonded with adoptive parents and there was fear of psychological harm in disrupting your life]?

Ostrom

Every situation is different, not every adoption is a happy one, the same as any other family arrangement. Personally, I wouldnt be happy considering how great a life my adoptive parents gave me, and, having met my birth mother, I now appreciate the level of restraint it took for her not to take matters of disclosure further than she did.


Something similar-ish happened to me. I found out from her that they had attempted to insert my birth fathers name on my original birth certificate, should I ever go looking, but were refused.

It didnt bother me at all, quite the opposite.

holly_johnson

I can't say it would bother me that much; I've had a very happy life with my parents, and having met my biological mother can't see how that could have been improved upon. She was unmarried and her parents still don't know about me etc. She says that she tried to get me back, but somehow I doubt it.

kathy finn

very hard to answer this, as an adult adoptee i can understand why my mother and father placed me for adoption and knowing what i know about them now i am so glad i was given a better chance with my adoptive parents, but it would have been nice to know they fought to get me back.

Ostrom

kathy finn wrote: »

very hard to answer this, as an adult adoptee i can understand why my mother and father placed me for adoption and knowing what i know about them now i am so glad i was given a better chance with my adoptive parents, but it would have been nice to know they fought to get me back.

I dont think I have perspective on it yet, but I probably do feel that way on some level

I remember the baby Ann case caused some heated debate on the adoptionireland forum last year

The_Conductor

I think that people's opinions on this will probably be coloured by whether they have already met their birthmum or not, and how much they know about the circumstances their birthmum was in. Personally- my adoptive parents offered me safety and opportunities that my birthmum was not in a position to do. If her circumstances had been different- perhaps she might have made a different decision, unfortunately I'm not in a position where I can ask her about it. I do know that times were very very different 30-40 years ago- and the parents of Baby Ann would never had the opportunity to try to reassert parental rights in the manner they do today.

At the end of the day- there are no two cases which are similar- when you are looking at individual cases- you need to look at the details and decide what is in the best interests of the child. Its not an automatic assumption that the birthparents know best- but its also not the case that all adoptive parents have the best interests of the child at heart either.

All-in-all, its a terrible predicament to find one's self in, and I am glad that I will never be in a position where I have to adjudicate in a matter such as it.

kathy2

it totally depends on how long child had been with adoptive parents.

I wasnt clear on the ins and outs of that case but if the child is with adoptive parents a short time and there is a chance the birth mum could raise the child the adoptive parents should give child back.

The Alison Quets case in the states is the sadest cruelest twist of fate ever.

I plan to adopt myself, and why take a child from a birth mom who wants them when there are billions of orphens.

I felt really bad for Mercy James she has been robbed of a good home thats not right either

Ostrom

kathy2 wrote: »

it totally depends on how long child had been with adoptive parents.

I wasnt clear on the ins and outs of that case but if the child is with adoptive parents a short time and there is a chance the birth mum could raise the child the adoptive parents should give child back.

The Alison Quets case in the states is the sadest cruelest twist of fate ever.

I plan to adopt myself, and why take a child from a birth mom who wants them when there are billions of orphens.

I felt really bad for Mercy James she has been robbed of a good home thats not right either

I dont think the baby Ann question will ever be answered conclusively without difficult, if not impossible research

I cant help but feel that given her time spent with her adoptive parents, it may have been best to overturn the biological parents appeal.

My own 2c each time are that support, screening and aftercare need serious revision and further policy research. It is interesting how people come down on the baby Ann issue though - those adopted friends of mine side with the child-adoptive parents outcome, whilst birth parents (obviously) side the other way.

Either way, I cant imagine the fortitude it takes go go through with