Shower break-in

spurious

Do you have a disability that means you take such a long time in the shower?
Forty minutes of running hot water is hugely expensive. I can understand why your housemate gets mad.

mumhaabu

The OP gets pummeled as he is male, now imagine how different the thread would be if he was a she. :eek:

I like to take long showers occasionaly especially if I had missed a day or two, however 18 to 20mins would be the longest and it was regular once when I had dandruff and I had to leave Neutrogena on the scalp for 10mins. My average would be 7mins from opening the door to leaving. I can imagine the tension in the house and yer wan must be driven mad. lol! plus real men don't take showers we bathe once every 3 months.... especially in Cork :pac:

stovelid

One of the most pointless issues ever. Can't you both come to some sort of advance arrangement about who uses the shower, or do it at different times, like the night before?

I like to shave in the shower, but even that plus washing hair and body takes no longer than 15-20 minutes max.

I'm tempted to believe that there is previous between you two (as in arguments) that have made her so irascible?

Harris

The OP said showering was his favourite activity (which I find most odd anyway)

If he is such a water baby why doesn't he join a swimming club. Then he could frolick in the pool for 40 minutes and stand in the shower for another 20.

To be honest if I lived with anyone like that, male or female I would not be responsible for my actions.

sprinklesspanky

00112984 wrote: »

If all of your other housemates decided their "one little luxury" was a 40 minute shower each day, the house would be running hot water for over 5 hours per DAY! That's ridiculous! Have you any idea how long it takes to heat 5 hours worth of water and at what cost?! To do it on an immersion would be bad enough but, if it's an electric shower, it'd probably eat up one whole tenant's rent for the month!

If all of the other 7 were as selfish as you in doing that, you'd be the first one to complain about the increase in your electric bill.

Hyperbole!

sprinklesspanky

Harris wrote: »

The OP said showering was his favourite activity (which I find most odd anyway)

If he is such a water baby why doesn't he join a swimming club. Then he could frolick in the pool for 40 minutes and stand in the shower for another 20.

To be honest if I lived with anyone like that, male or female I would not be responsible for my actions.

OP, this is a good idea... Join a gym! Then you can shower mad! Just make sure they have one of the stall thingys.

Eric_85

longshowers wrote: »

I understand where the OP is coming from enjoying long showers.

However, it is completely selfish to take up the mornings in a household of 7 (or was it 8?) taking a 20 -40 minute shower.

She was bang out of order to break into the bathroom; however, you were out of order not listening to her concerns.

How about compromise? Take your shower before going to bed a night. That way you can enjoy it and relax, and not disturb others. It's what I do. If you don't feel "fresh" in the morning you can take a quick 5 minutes splash and dash in rota with everyone else

Seriously though, apologise to the girl for not hearing her out, telling her your new plan (which hopefully, for the sake of your housemates, you'll decide to take on). Then tell her, however, what she did was unacceptable and you will report her to the landlord next time

I listened to what she had to say and yet never avoided the conversation answering with what I had in mind. The way I usually do. Writing the post I have cut down our initial conversation to the key points. She obviously could not speak for long on this without loosing her temper. She is disliked by some tennants because she is frequently stressfull and angry which as they say behind her back bothers them while it isn't something that really bothers me.

I can apologise to a person that treated me less angry and compulsive. I can apologise in return but doing this upfront can make her to feel that such behavior was the only thing that could work which from my point of view of her as a character will not bring her any good. Besides it is easy to explain yourself to the person that you are talking to. I do not think that I like her anymore at all as it came to my attention that she reported one of the tennants to a landlord for having dropped a question during the conversation: "If Hitler was rational about killing jews and if he was a bad man at all?". Which was just an opinion and a question. She is german though and the landlord said to the tennant that they will ask him to leave if "there will be any trouble in the house again". I understand that nobody likes this particular tennant but I find such ways of getting rid of people to be dishonest.

It is not hard for me to step over myself if I had any wish to do it. But I do think that I will just have to be hard on her as older people are usually hard on silly young ones. The best I can do is not to allow for the shower situation and not to block the access for other tennant by following your quite so reasonable idea.

LegacyUser

Eh, I have to say that some of the replies here, including some from people with mod status, smack of racism. Its pretty obvious the OP isn't a native English speaker. If I was Eamon Dumphy I'd be flinging my pen across the desk after reading some of them! Also, its not clear that his long showers actually increase the bill at all. It sounds not from his post above, actually, and perhaps they pay a fixed price every month? That said, he obviously needs to find a time for his showers when he's not inconveniencing anyone. Talk to your room-mates about the best time to take your long showers, OP!

Eric_85

stovelid wrote: »

One of the most pointless issues ever. Can't you both come to some sort of advance arrangement about who uses the shower, or do it at different times, like the night before?

I like to shave in the shower, but even that plus washing hair and body takes no longer than 15-20 minutes max.

I'm tempted to believe that there is previous between you two (as in arguments) that have made her so irascible?

Completely friendly relationships apart from the shower issue.
In the shower I usually use one sponge which is metally hard, another massage brash for about 5-7 minutes, then the simple soft sponge to thoroughly and slowly cover every tiny part of the body. When I use hair gel I have to wash the head twice or three times with the freeze tamper shampoo. Besides I was taught to let shampoo stay on your head for at least five minutes while massaging it. I also like to spend the first five and the last five minutes simply under running water, I really love the specific feeling deep and slender from playing with the temperatures while doing so.

Zaph

sprinklesspanky wrote: »

Hyperbole!

May I remind people that unhelpful or pointless posts may result in infractions and/or bans.

Thank you for your time.

Zaph

Eric_85

00112984 wrote: »

If the shower in the bathroom you use is run from the heating, that will explain why the heating bill is excessive.



She TOLD you it was a problem and you IGNORED her until she was so annoyed she broke down the door in a temper.

The shower in the upper bathroom is run from the elecricity. The electricity bill is paid by the tennants. The heating makes the gas bill which is payed by the landlady. It is cold in the house during the winter. This makes the tenants to switch the heating on and keep it on. The landlady decided that they do not need it during the day. She also thinks that they waste it and requested everybody to switch the heating off in their rooms when the leave them.

I did not ignore the problem still considering at a time she was crossing the line long set in this house where no one bothers no one with anything, though a lot of questions can possibly arise. I answered that she can try to get into shower first. I wasn't going to decrease my time in the shower. But I took the issue quite polite ending it with an explanation that it is your job where there are things you have to do and where certain responsibility is expected not the place you live and definitely not this house. I could imagine myself a lot of problems with a lot of people if I ever wanted to. I had been convinced by the lot that it isn't particulary thoughtful not to mind the other tennants personal needs at all as it is of common practice in the house. That will not really make me as relaxed in the shower as I am used to. Of course, changes should be made which will. Besides the morning is off me. I do think it is sufficient? It is in no way the environmental issue. Comfort does not and of course isn't meant to pollute anything. It is the wealth of civilization. As for the cost - every single thing including the word has it.

Zaph

Eric_85 wrote: »

The shower in the upper bathroom is run from the elecricity. The electricity bill is paid by the tennants.

Leaving aside the issue of you occupying the bathroom for 40 minutes at a time, which if you're doing it later in the day and it's not interfering with people getting out to work on time in the morning isn't really a problem imo. However, do you honestly think it's fair that the other tenants should have to share in a higher electricity bill because you're running a hot shower for that long every day?

Mina Loy

MagicMarker wrote: »

I think I have to go against the grain here and side with the girl. Yes, she handled it wrong, at least she tried to bring it up with you like an adult first, to which she was plainly shot down.

Living with different people is all about compromise, how long does it take to have a shower ffs? You were already out of the shower when she was knocking on the door, why not just let her in? Instead you ignored her, only adding fuel to the fire.

In future, before you're going to use the shower for a prolonged period of time, just mention it to your housemates that you're going to have a shower if anyone needs to use the toilet etc first.

No offense, but your post comes across as very smug, as if you're proud of the fact you pissed her off.

I totally agree. Her reaction did sound a bit pyschotic though, but sometimes people are pushed to the edge, especially when they have a schedule to keep and more than likely she presumed you wouldn't care anyway about whatever issue she had ...its a very difficult thing when you do not click with the people you live with, especially when you're in such close quarters.

I've lived with many different people in different places since I moved out when I was 18..when it works out its amazing, you haves understanding flatmates who get the fact that coming in hammered and slamming doors/falling down stairs actually wakes people up who have to get up the next morning sometimes, and they do their best to drunkenly tiptoe/float past doors and down stairs!:) Some couldn't give a rats ass, are dirty, selfish..unhygenic and just do not have any respect for anyone else. I am not saying you are, but dude, 20 minute is way too long in a shower let alone 40...are you made of money?? Also imagine the amount of water you're wasting you may aswell have a bubble bath!!!!!

I can see how she would react so, especially if you're waiting to get ready for work or an interview and either the water is gone or the place is left in a state ..40 minutes later..very frustrating.

Eric_85

Unregistered wrote: »

Eh, I have to say that some of the replies here, including some from people with mod status, smack of racism. Its pretty obvious the OP isn't a native English speaker. If I was Eamon Dumphy I'd be flinging my pen across the desk after reading some of them! Also, its not clear that his long showers actually increase the bill at all. It sounds not from his post above, actually, and perhaps they pay a fixed price every month? That said, he obviously needs to find a time for his showers when he's not inconveniencing anyone. Talk to your room-mates about the best time to take your long showers, OP!

I can imagine that the longer shower does not increase the electricity bill in any significance which is never usually any more than 37 euro per two months per person and is sometimes especially for a few last times around 16-17 euros somehow, though, of course, since I moved in to the house, how would anybody really know? I do not see that as an issue.

Alicat

Eric_85 wrote: »

The shower in the upper bathroom is run from the elecricity. The electricity bill is paid by the tennants. The heating makes the gas bill which is payed by the landlady. It is cold in the house during the winter. This makes the tenants to switch the heating on and keep it on. The landlady decided that they do not need it during the day. She also thinks that they waste it and requested everybody to switch the heating off in their rooms when the leave them.

I did not ignore the problem still considering at a time she was crossing the line long set in this house where no one bothers no one with anything, though a lot of questions can possibly arise. I answered that she can try to get into shower first. I wasn't going to decrease my time in the shower. But I took the issue quite polite ending it with an explanation that it is your job where there are things you have to do and where certain responsibility is expected not the place you live and definitely not this house. I could imagine myself a lot of problems with a lot of people if I ever wanted to. I had been convinced by the lot that it isn't particulary thoughtful not to mind the other tennants personal needs at all as it is of common practice in the house. That will not really make me as relaxed in the shower as I am used to. Of course, changes should be made which will. Besides the morning is off me. I do think it is sufficient? It is in no way the environmental issue. Comfort does not and of course isn't meant to pollute anything. It is the wealth of civilization. As for the cost - every single thing including the word has it.

So the girl didn't even have the choice to use the other shower because the heat can't be turned on during the day, yet you still ignored her request? That's quite selfish.

Did you tell her that you were going to have a shower? And that you would take so long? You can't expect the other housemates to "organise their time better", which is essentially what you're saying, just in case you might have a shower. Other housemates can pop in and out of the shower in 5/10 minutes but you can take almost up to an hour! If you want to take that long in the shower you should at least give your housemates a bit of notice.

And it is an enviromental issue wasting that much electricity. You just don't realise it and I think you need to educate yourself more about it.

Mina Loy

mumhaabu wrote: »

The OP gets pummeled as he is male, now imagine how different the thread would be if he was a she. :eek:

My showers take 5 minutes. I have no idea what there would be to do in there after everything only stand turning into a prune. When women get 'ready' to go out we spend most of our time doing our hair/makeup blah which is the fun part and takes the most amount of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CianRyan

Mr. Frost wrote: »

What the hell are you doing for 40 minutes in the shower? That's ridiculous. You don't need more than 5-10 minutes, if you're a guy. Or maybe a bit more if you've really, really long hair.

This (along with a few other posts) is not a fair statement to make.
I for one, have OCD, and as a result i take about the same amount of time in the shower, it is not as simple as just taking a 5-10 minute shower and unless you your self have OCD, you will not understand the mental tourture it is, to be forced not to compleat a ritual.

Cutting down on time is possible, but it takes a long time.
In the past i would take up to 1.5 hours in a shower, simply because, if i didnt not feel i did something right, or accidentally left something out of the pattern i would have to go back to the start.
I now only take 30-40 minutes in the shower, and although i would like to cut down further, i am very pleased with my achievements.


OP, if it happens you are in the same way that i was/am, feel free to PM me and i could give you some tips on cutting down on time, it could help you and the attmosphier in your apartment.

Cian.

Alicat

IF the OP has OCD that is something he needs to have discussed with his housemates to explain why he takes so long. It is unfair of the OP to expect his seven other housemates not to question why he takes so long with no valid reason, as far as they are concerned. Of course this should only apply if he's actually inconveniencing the others, as he clearly is. If the house is empty, and the others don't care about the electricity bill then he can take as long as he wants.

If he needs to take this long in the shower when others are in the house he should have the common courtesy to inform the other housemates that he is going to take 40 minutes or whatever.

D-Generate

According to ESB Cost Calculator your showers roughly cost €67 per 2 months assuming you use the electric shower about 4.5 hours a week. For someone who has a 10 minute shower their equivalent cost for 2 months use is €16. Damn right she is mad!

LegacyUser

OP you ARE extremely selfish and also come across as smug and a complete freeloader.

Why don't you get your own place and pay your own bills instead pissing off the rest of the tenants? If it was me I wouldn't be able to stand the sight of you never mind have to deal with your arrogant, precious attitude which is evident in your posts.

sprinklesspanky

Zaph wrote: »

May I remind people that unhelpful or pointless posts may result in infractions and/or bans.

Thank you for your time.

Zaph

You're welcome.

Sorry, but this statement here:

If all of your other housemates decided their "one little luxury" was a 40 minute shower each day, the house would be running hot water for over 5 hours per DAY! That's ridiculous! Have you any idea how long it takes to heat 5 hours worth of water and at what cost?! To do it on an immersion would be bad enough but, if it's an electric shower, it'd probably eat up one whole tenant's rent for the month!

Is an exageration in en extremis. I would consider hyperbole to be unhelpful.

sprinklesspanky

Alicat wrote: »

IF the OP has OCD that is something he needs to have discussed with his housemates to explain why he takes so long. It is unfair of the OP to expect his seven other housemates not to question why he takes so long with no valid reason, as far as they are concerned. Of course this should only apply if he's actually inconveniencing the others, as he clearly is. If the house is empty, and the others don't care about the electricity bill then he can take as long as he wants.

If he needs to take this long in the shower when others are in the house he should have the common courtesy to inform the other housemates that he is going to take 40 minutes or whatever.

Spot on and may I add: seven other house mates, one shower? Wow.

sprinklesspanky

Eric_85 wrote: »

The shower in the upper bathroom is run from the elecricity. The electricity bill is paid by the tennants. The heating makes the gas bill which is payed by the landlady. It is cold in the house during the winter. This makes the tenants to switch the heating on and keep it on. The landlady decided that they do not need it during the day. She also thinks that they waste it and requested everybody to switch the heating off in their rooms when the leave them.

I did not ignore the problem still considering at a time she was crossing the line long set in this house where no one bothers no one with anything, though a lot of questions can possibly arise. I answered that she can try to get into shower first. I wasn't going to decrease my time in the shower. But I took the issue quite polite ending it with an explanation that it is your job where there are things you have to do and where certain responsibility is expected not the place you live and definitely not this house. I could imagine myself a lot of problems with a lot of people if I ever wanted to. I had been convinced by the lot that it isn't particulary thoughtful not to mind the other tennants personal needs at all as it is of common practice in the house. That will not really make me as relaxed in the shower as I am used to. Of course, changes should be made which will. Besides the morning is off me. I do think it is sufficient? It is in no way the environmental issue. Comfort does not and of course isn't meant to pollute anything. It is the wealth of civilization. As for the cost - every single thing including the word has it.

Maybe you just need to move? One house, 7 people is a bit much...

estar

RENT AN EN SUIT BATHROOM. IT IS THE EASY SOLUTION.

you dont appear to like confrontation. yerone sounds MENTAL. if anyone i shared a house with raised their voice to me or broke a door down or dealt with me in an agressive manner, i would refuse point blank to further engage with them and would continue whatever it was that was annoying them on principle.

too many people think it is acceptable today to express anger for minor things to people they barely know. IT ISNT. this isnt new york. we arent animals.

however you are also selfish. she asked you to get out. you ignored that. that was wrong.

Abi

Eric, your post comes across as rude and inconsiderate, and by all accounts- you enjoyed annoying this girl. When you share with other people you cant take that attitude. You have to consider other people to ensure the house runs smoothly without ill feeling to one another. You created that incident yourself by being selfish. Although busting in the door seems irrational at first, it would take extreme frustration and anger to get that far. And you enjoyed it. I would never be off the phone to the land lady if I was her. Im willing to bet it doesnt stop at the showers either, purely based on your own self importance.

Estar is right, either rent an en-suite room or change your ways. At the rate you are going, you are going to be thrown out anyway.

LegacyUser

CianRyan wrote: »

.... unless you your self have OCD, you will not understand the mental tourture it is, to be forced not to compleat a ritual.

I doubt the OP has OCD. It sounds like showering is his favourite hobby. I cannot believe that there are people out there who are as ignorant and selfish as the OP. It would be one thing to spend 40 minutes showering in a house with a few people, but with 7!!?... I personally lived in a similar situation for a few months in a house with 8 people (our second shower had broken). That was a nightmare, but everyone tried to be as quick as possible (to be considerate of everyone else). And the OP is coming on here as if he's offended his housemate broke into the bathroom when she had an interview?. OP- you should be looking for ways to get over your self centered ignorance and leave the girl alone. And to think it wouldn't add much extra cost!....is this a troll or something?.

jessbeth

She sounds a bit insane, expecially if all she had to do was turn on the heating and use the other shower. I would definitely tell the landlady. You should be able to shower as long as you want at the place where you're living but maybe it would be a good idea if you everybody in the house got together and devised a little morning routine so that everybody gets to use it.

YDMHSSB

if showering is your luxury in and your hobbie, the you really do need to get out more. any man that spends more than 5-10 mins in a shower has serious issues.

Eric_85

Mina Loy wrote: »

My showers take 5 minutes. I have no idea what there would be to do in there after everything only stand turning into a prune. When women get 'ready' to go out we spend most of our time doing our hair/makeup blah which is the fun part and takes the most amount of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think what was actually ment by mumhaabu is that the perception of the male breaking into the females bathroom would be likely different from female braking into the mans. That is all about the gender issue. Some women may spent less or more in the shower.

CianRyan: I do not have OCD. Thank you for your concern though.

D-Generate wrote: »

According to ESB Cost Calculator your showers roughly cost €67 per 2 months assuming you use the electric shower about 4.5 hours a week. For someone who has a 10 minute shower their equivalent cost for 2 months use is €16. Damn right she is mad!

That isn't the reason she would be mad. Today at 11 am the big man from the middle floor took the shower for 24 minutes. Immediately after another female from the closeby room occupied the toilet for 11 minutes with no use of shower facility. Than I took a shower with no attempt to speed up in the almost afternoon for 26 minutes. There are other things which make an impact on the ESB bill. I think that the shower after it has been broken is on a more economical system now as the cost of the electricity bill decreased thereafter they changed it.

Eric_85

Abigayle wrote: »

Eric, your post comes across as rude and inconsiderate, and by all accounts- you enjoyed annoying this girl. When you share with other people you cant take that attitude. You have to consider other people to ensure the house runs smoothly without ill feeling to one another. You created that incident yourself by being selfish. Although busting in the door seems irrational at first, it would take extreme frustration and anger to get that far. And you enjoyed it. I would never be off the phone to the land lady if I was her. Im willing to bet it doesnt stop at the showers either, purely based on your own self importance.

Estar is right, either rent an en-suite room or change your ways. At the rate you are going, you are going to be thrown out anyway.

I do not agree that my post is rude and inconsiderate. I can't really say where does this idea comes from. I did not intend and did not enjoy annoying anybody. I don't have time for the intriguing games, nor do I have the immaturity of character. The house does run smoothly for the period of my 2,5 years residing. Except for the issue when one tennant for saying to another what should she do on one occasion plus this one.

I would notice that with the particular person we are talking about the anger and frustration is a daily thing where reasons for it are looked for and found in every tiny thing which is the result of my observation.

Eric_85

estar wrote: »

RENT AN EN SUIT BATHROOM. IT IS THE EASY SOLUTION.

you dont appear to like confrontation. yerone sounds MENTAL. if anyone i shared a house with raised their voice to me or broke a door down or dealt with me in an agressive manner, i would refuse point blank to further engage with them and would continue whatever it was that was annoying them on principle.

too many people think it is acceptable today to express anger for minor things to people they barely know. IT ISNT. this isnt new york. we arent animals.

however you are also selfish. she asked you to get out. you ignored that. that was wrong.

There was never a single attempt to ask gently giving the reason or asking for a favour. Ignoring is unpolite. Ignoring the unpolite behaviour which is more than simply unpolite was what I actually did. When someone starts a conversation with screaming at you I do not think that it would be selfish to ignore it, rather fair.

Abi

Eric_85 wrote: »

I would notice that with the particular person we are talking about, the anger and frustration is a daily thing where reasons for it are looked for, and found in every tiny thing which is the result of my observation.

But your observation is not the only one that matters. You seem to believe that your perception of the problem is concrete and not to be argued with. To sum it up, it is stubborness at work here, and the inability to believe that you can do any wrong.

I have thought about her 'shower break-in' and wondered if I could be pushed to that sort of extreme, and I thought no. But your replies to some other posters gave me cause to re-think this. I think you annoyed her to the point where she finally flipped. Im sure she regrets reacting in this way, but your continueous 'I cant do any wrong' attitude allows little room for her to offer anything by the way of an apology.

Nobody is always in the right, and if you are as mature as you make out you are, why don't you re-set. Talk to the girl, offer that you either cut back on your shower time or at least take your long shower at the least busy times for the bathroom in the house.

Without acceptance that you had a part to play in all of this, then the situation will only esculate.

Sugar Drunk

im stunned enough that 8 people are sharing two showers one of which s rendered useless by the heating not being on. Is there a seperate toilet? God help anyone needing to pee when your in there!

Cop yourself on mate your in shared accomodation, if you want to be inconsiderate and refuse to compromise then go live somewhere alone. For someone to deliberately stay in the shower for such a ridiculous length of time when they have already been approached about it is just ignorant did it ever occur to you that this girl was getting ready for work and needed to use the bathroom? Yes she was out of order to break the door but in fairness you dont seem like the most reasonable person so maybe she was just at her wits end - asking you about it clearly did nothing

Lollipops23

while i don't condone her breaking down the door to the bathroom, she did appraoch you about it before and tried to talk about it in a civilised manner. You don't appear to understand that you need to compromise with your housemates; it's not fair to stay in the shower for 40mins(i'm a chick and still can't make a shower last that long even when i'm shaving my legs!!).


Seriously, taking even longer just to piss her off is just childish. I'd be going a bit mental too if i was her.

Motley Crue

Alanstrainor wrote: »

That is insane! Report that childish woman. She has no right to tell you what to do. And breaking into the bathroom while you're having a shower is, well, well out of order. Stand up for yourself, and dont let this bully carry on like this.

I totally agree, this behaviour is stupid, childish, abusive and as such should be untolerable

Eric_85

Abigayle wrote: »

But your observation is not the only one that matters. You seem to believe that your perception of the problem is concrete and not to be argued with. To sum it up, it is stubborness at work here, and the inability to believe that you can do any wrong.

I have thought about her 'shower break-in' and wondered if I could be pushed to that sort of extreme, and I thought no. But your replies to some other posters gave me cause to re-think this. I think you annoyed her to the point where she finally flipped. Im sure she regrets reacting in this way, but your continueous 'I cant do any wrong' attitude allows little room for her to offer anything by the way of an apology.

Nobody is always in the right, and if you are as mature as you make out you are, why don't you re-set. Talk to the girl, offer that you either cut back on your shower time or at least take your long shower at the least busy times for the bathroom in the house.

Without acceptance that you had a part to play in all of this, then the situation will only esculate.

My observation is not the only thing that matters as vague as it sounds. The female likes to sit with her laptop on the kitchen and swear when the internet connection is low or when she cannot get the particular thing somehow. She screames annoingly when something slides off her hands in the kitchen or anything like that. She does not usually gets angry over important issues more on the little ones and preferes to adress assholes to the people she simply does not like which is an inconsistent use of the word. Other tennants find these petty expressions annoying which frankly does not bothers me to the extent of keeping it in my mind.

As I have previously said the only thing I find to be wrong about my actions is occupying a shower at the time the other tennants have to go to work which I am going to try to avoid as I am not particulary sure of the current schedule of some of them. Also I am leveraging if not reporting the incident to the landlord could have been a wrong thing to do. I do not have any desire to speak about it with the other tennants in the same time. Their applauses of how unthoughtful that was of her are really not for example cheering me up.

I could have annoyed someone like you mention to the point they flip. This does not proves them right in any way. But before a person flips each and every time there must be at least something. You should expect of the people who are wrong that they can possibly improve, otherwise what are you flipping about and for? Tactical unjustified anger? The wish to see yourself a more serious person? That cannot be tolerated by approving the assholish behaviour.

If I would be invited to turn the relationships with the girl back to the way they used to be I will probably simply and easily not be interested. I don't see what gives a person a right to behave in this way expecting the gentle attitude in return? Besides she seem to like to get angry. Does not usually smile while being angry though. I can cut back on my time in the shower in the early morning. But should I really report it to her? If the person wakes up at 11 am and needs the shower immediately is it really my problem that I can possibly deel with? Running to knock on each door to inform that you are going to use the shower facility is rather clumsy with the atmosphere of independance that we have in our house.

iguana

I don't really have anything new to add OP, but I'm hoping that if enough people tell you how unacceptable your behaviour is, you will start to reconsider your point of view. You live in shared accommodation and you can't just do whatever you want. You caused this situation, it was your fault and you owe her an apology. She owes you one too, but the whole situation was caused and escalated by you.

Either learn to share or get your own place.

astrofool

OP would be a nightmare for one other person to share with, let alone 7.

Needless to say, if I was sharing, I'd be cutting the power to the electric shower after 5 minutes (of enjoying the water).

Eric_85

Sugar Drunk wrote: »

im stunned enough that 8 people are sharing two showers one of which s rendered useless by the heating not being on. Is there a seperate toilet? God help anyone needing to pee when your in there!

Cop yourself on mate your in shared accomodation, if you want to be inconsiderate and refuse to compromise then go live somewhere alone. For someone to deliberately stay in the shower for such a ridiculous length of time when they have already been approached about it is just ignorant did it ever occur to you that this girl was getting ready for work and needed to use the bathroom? Yes she was out of order to break the door but in fairness you dont seem like the most reasonable person so maybe she was just at her wits end - asking you about it clearly did nothing

Well, as an example I accidently witnessed in the morning another tennant took a shower for two minutes less than me and another female tennant had to wait this time to do whatever she had in the bathroom. She could have of course used another toilet downstairs if in hurry. Prior to reporting to the landlady I would likely want to know how really longer am I taking shower than any of the others.

At around twelve am this girl was getting ready for an appintment. Is it really not a single coincidence? Is it enough to break the door out and swear in advance withought trying a polite explanation? This was not early morning and is it my fault the person wakes up when deems necessary and wants to wash presumably right before the appointment?

Abi

Eric, you stated you wouldnt even want to speak to her even if you could erase the shower incident. You have to realise that it took two of you to cause this static, and it will take two of you to fix this.

Disregard what the others think of her. That should be none of your concern. Your own opinion of her was already flawed to begin with. You didnt like her. Even if you were indifferent you might have replied to her.

You openly admit ignoring her, when a 'be out in 2' could have easily diffused the problem.

If you dont want to hear any opinions opposed to your own, I dont know what you want hear.

What she did was far from thought through, but I wont tell you that you were 100% right.

Fanny Cradock

OP, given that the majority of posters here seem to find your showering habits unacceptable would it not be a good idea to ask your other flatmates if they, too, feel the same? You may be surprised!

There are two issues here.

Firstly, your showering routine is apparently impinging on the routine of others. Causing them to be late simply because you are enjoying your pleasure is unacceptable.

Secondly, your flatmates are paying for your daily pleasure. Every now and then I enjoy the odd pint, buying a CD or going to a gig, but I don't expect others to buy them for me. However, by not contributing anything extra to the electricity bill, you are getting your flatmates to pay for your showering excesses! A previous poster has already provided a link that calculates how much extra your habits may cost your flatmates each bill.

*Talk to your other flatmates and get their opinions. Don't assume that just because they haven broken down the door they haven't a problem with you being the shower for such a length of time.

*Time yourself in the shower.

*While breaking down the door was excessive, talk to the girl and try to understand why she felt she was driven to this. Yes, she may just be mental, but it also possible that you are being selfish.

*Remember, if you want to avoid conflict, then arrange times around other peoples' schedules as best you can. There is no sense in your pleasure causing stress in your flatmates' lives.

Eric_85

Abigayle wrote: »

Eric, you stated you wouldnt even want to speak to her even if you could erase the shower incident. You have to realise that it took two of you to cause this static, and it will take two of you to fix this.

Disregard what the others think of her. That should be none of your concern. Your own opinion of her was already flawed to begin with. You didnt like her. Even if you were indifferent you might have replied to her.

You openly admit ignoring her, when a 'be out in 2' could have easily diffused the problem.

If you dont want to hear any opinions opposed to your own, I dont know what you want hear.

What she did was far from thought through, but I wont tell you that you were 100% right.

I did not like her knocking angrily on the door. Initially there was nothing else I particulary disliked about her. More to that we were friendly and never had much controversies. She used to start to argue angrily and swearingly if there where any controversies on which she could not convince the other person about. But those where all distant issues. Still if I volunteered to be friendly I do not think I want to volunteer any more. This does not mean I will start to engage into resentments but does mean I feel more to keep the distance.

I ignored the angry knock on the door while enjoying my private shower. I live in this house for so long because I feel that there is not a single tension here ever and I like this feeling. It feels better than previous place with chores which I also liked to do. I think that finding a consensus now shall open the doors for her to behave yet worse she would like to and I will not enjoy making further allegations and consensus to limit her behaviour somehow. She isn't that smart to be fair.

I mean that I may speak to her and I may not. I don't think speaking to her would be as good as not speaking to her. I am not going to show that a big issue happened here and I am not going to hide that the line was crossed. I think now even reporting to the landlady is not a necessity. I do not feel the need to negotiate everything each and every time. It is better to save the last one for other things. I will not really miss the small talk and big daily chat as it isn't particulary an interesting interlocutor that I may ever miss.

Pub07

Look there's a simple solution. Just whack off before you get into the shower, then you'll be done in no time. Those shower boners can be hard to sustain so I can see why it could take you up to 40 mins. But it is completely unacceptable for you to be wasting electricity and other peoples time just so you can enjoy a shower jerk off session. You are way out of line here op, no-one needs to be spending 40 mins, let alone anything over 20 mins in the shower, especially in a house of 8 people.

Cpaw

Pub07 wrote: »

Look there's a simple solution. Just whack off before you get into the shower, then you'll be done in no time. Those shower boners can be hard to sustain so I can see why it could take you up to 40 mins. But it is completely unacceptable for you to be wasting electricity and other peoples time just so you can enjoy a shower jerk off session. You are way out of line here op, no-one needs to be spending 40 mins, let alone anything over 20 mins in the shower, especially in a house of 8 people.

What a silly post :rolleyes:

Eric I think you are the problem here. Look women always win in these situations so just LEAVE IT. You must be ulgy too, cos if you were any way good looking she would NOT treat you like that.

Zaph

Pub07 wrote: »

Look there's a simple solution. Just whack off before you get into the shower, then you'll be done in no time. Those shower boners can be hard to sustain so I can see why it could take you up to 40 mins. But it is completely unacceptable for you to be wasting electricity and other peoples time just so you can enjoy a shower jerk off session. You are way out of line here op, no-one needs to be spending 40 mins, let alone anything over 20 mins in the shower, especially in a house of 8 people.

Cpaw wrote: »

What a silly post :rolleyes:

Eric I think you are the problem here. Look women always win in these situations so just LEAVE IT. You must be ulgy too, cos if you were any way good looking she would NOT treat you like that.

May I remind people yet again that unhelpful or pointless posts may result in infractions and/or bans.

Thank you for your time.

Zaph

thermo66

40 minute shower? That definitely WAY too long and a waste of money. Its different if you were living in your own house and paying the bill you can do what you like but whilst renting you have to be considerate of your housemates.

One of my ex flatmates had her boyfriend practically living with us and he used to contribute nothing. He was a nice guy but it was bad form on his and my flatmates part. He used to play football and come back to our place to shower etc, cooked seperately from evryone else etc so i know how frustrating it is. You can give some lee-way but when people do it constantly their taking the piss. It was my first year living out of home so was a bit naive. Would definitely say something if it was now awkward or not.

In saying that she definitely went too far. She should have went to the landlord and not acted like a psycho. But your in the wrong too :P

Eric_85

Cpaw wrote: »

What a silly post :rolleyes:

Eric I think you are the problem here. Look women always win in these situations so just LEAVE IT. You must be ulgy too, cos if you were any way good looking she would NOT treat you like that.

O.K. I think the question is merely solved. It is naive to say what you say here.

Cpaw

Zaph wrote: »

May I remind people yet again that unhelpful or pointless posts may result in infractions and/or bans.

Thank you for your time.

Zaph

Boo. Isin't Infraction a LEGAL Term? Must show this to my Lawyer. I think your better off sticking to the ladies lounge mate ya hairy beast.

321654

what would happen if you broke into the bathroom while she was having a shower.

My guess is the police would be called.

Why not tell her next time that you'll call the police.

Eric_85

Having shower for the forty minutes is too long. I can take it 25 minutes each and every time. But for cutting it to 15 10 or 5? I might want to try just to see if that is anyhow possible at all. This would be soap and shampoo on off and jump out. What will happen behind my ears? Will I have to move quickly instead of usual lasting pace? Will I have to surrender back massage? I would give an advice in return for those people who do care about their tidyness to measure how long does it really takes them inside the shower as 5 minutes is if you're in a rash. As a respectable person I'm never in a rash and have nothing to complain about.