Are women attracted to badboys at an unconscience level

The Corinthian

CDfm wrote: »

but i dont.

I don't know if you do or not. After all most guys who treat women like shìt don't realize they are or even think that if they do it is merited.

i thought the tread is why women like badboys who treat them like ****.

Which, as I pointed out, has nothing to do with your definition.

i know my definition is a bit materialistic but why not.

Because materialism does not make a person nice or otherwise.

CDfm

Wow - whose got up from the wrong side of the bed today.

I'm just saying that nice guys will probably have other things going for them then there niceness.

Some women will like that. Some wont.

In the same way some guys have a preference for nice girls and no amount of tat will make them go out with a girl who is not.

Acacia

Is it possible for a guy to be a 'bad boy', and yet not an asshole? I mean that he could exhibit all the 'bad boy' traits- exciting, self-confident,etc- without necessarily being a cheater or hitting his girlfriend?

You could have a guy who physically or mentally abuses his girlfriend, a 'bad boy', yet still be 'boring' (People have mentioned part of the attraction to 'bad boys' being their 'dramatic' quality).

For example, I'm attracted to guys that would be 'bad boys', in the social , anti-authoritarian sense. Like Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols. But I'd never go out with somebody who was known to hit his girlfriend. In that case, do I really like 'bad boys' or 'cheeky chappies'? :pac:

The Corinthian

CDfm wrote: »

Wow - whose got up from the wrong side of the bed today.

I'm grand today actually, I just have a limited tolerance for people who don't think before they post.

I'm just saying that nice guys will probably have other things going for them then there niceness.

You didn't though, you said something quite different. I accept you may have meant to say that, but you didn't.

We're not mind readers.

CDfm

Acacia wrote: »

For example, I'm attracted to guys that would be 'bad boys', in the social , anti-authoritarian sense. Like Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols. But I'd never go out with somebody who was known to hit his girlfriend. In that case, do I really like 'bad boys' or 'cheeky chappies'? :pac:

John Lydon's other career option and ambition before becoming an entertainer and musician was to be a teacher.

He has been with the same lady for the past 25 or 30 years or so and has step children (the singer Ari Up is one) and grand children - so he is hardly a bad boy.

I dont think violence in a relationship makes someone bad -it makes them pathetic no matter what their gender is.

Acacia

CDfm wrote: »

John Lydon's other career option and ambition before becoming an entertainer and musician was to be a teacher.

He has been with the same lady for the past 25 or 30 years or so and has step children (the singer Ari Up is one) and grand children - so he is hardly a bad boy.

I dont think violence in a relationship makes someone bad -it makes them pathetic no matter what their gender is.

That's what I'm wondering- on the surface, he seemed quite 'bad'- spitting on stage, swearing on TV (:eek: ), etc, but he is actually a 'nice guy' deep down.

CDfm

The Corinthian wrote: »

You didn't though, you said something quite different. I accept you may have meant to say that, but you didn't.

We're not mind readers.

Point taken and thanks.:)

Nevyn

Nothing wrong in being nice and caring to those you care about and being an intolerant
bitch/prick to certain types of behaviour which you find unacceptable when they impinge on you.

CDfm

Acacia wrote: »

That's what I'm wondering- on the surface, he seemed quite 'bad'- spitting on stage, swearing on TV (:eek: ), etc, but he is actually a 'nice guy' deep down.

I think what we see as media bad boys aint nescessarily so.

If you look at it most of us screen weirdos out of our lives, violent and unpredictable people, drug addicts and the like. Those who we think on the surface as boring are often busy pursuing interests and have other abilities and things we like.

John Lydon is probably a very nice guy but we only see his professional side.

Wibbs

Acacia wrote: »

Is it possible for a guy to be a 'bad boy', and yet not an asshole? I mean that he could exhibit all the 'bad boy' traits- exciting, self-confident,etc- without necessarily being a cheater or hitting his girlfriend?

Yep you're describing a man for the most part. That's why women go for actual bad boys. They trigger some of the switches that tell a woman she's got a man. They trigger it even more if they're surrounded by wussy "nice" guys. Being confident, secure and exciting, while being open and caring and loyal would be the rarer of the bunch. Especially in younger men still finding their feet. So women don't see it that often and go for the facsimile. I've even know women who because of their own issues and life experience have gone for so many bad boys or wusses they can't even recognise the good man when they see one. Whole other debate that one.

For example, I'm attracted to guys that would be 'bad boys', in the social , anti-authoritarian sense. Like Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols. But I'd never go out with somebody who was known to hit his girlfriend. In that case, do I really like 'bad boys' or 'cheeky chappies'? :pac:

Johnny rotten as others have pointed out is an actual good man for all his public persona. Been with the same woman for decades, doesn't play the field, great with kids(someone I know saw that up close). He does huge work for charities, (esp kids and the elderly) behind the scenes. You wouldn't believe how much. Doesn't look for public kudos either.

Some of the hardest, most iconoclastic men in history have been incredibly caring and considerate men to the women in their lives.

nikki 122

Do you know what would be great if there was a man that looked like a bad boy but was really a sweet heart that would do me the finest!

Snowie

the bad boy image they like or the sence of excitment that a badboy can give, that they are attracted to...

i mean whats really attractive about a bad boy...

confidance?
strong/tough/ protection.
danger and excitement?

i mean you strip therre soical status apart therer nothing really with out it. The thing that stands out the most is the excitment and danger they provide...

Wibbs

You've just described an attractive man. Confident, exciting and strong. Of course women will tend to go for that. Compared to what? Insecure, boring and weak? Instant turn off for 90% women and rightly so.

Don't underestimate "danger", or more to the point, keeping someone on their toes. Knowing he's there for you, but also knowing he has options, as other women find him attractive, but he chooses to be with you. Plus the knowledge that there's only so far you can push him.

Don't underestimate excitement either. IMHO, far more women leave men from boredom, than leave because of drama. How many times have you heard "oh he treats me badly, may have other women and disregards me, but I love him and can't leave him", compared to "He's so good to me, can't do enough for me, but I just don't feel "it" anymore. He's like a brother to me or my best friend so I'm leaving him"

This does not mean you should not have the utmost respect for the woman in your life, but it's not carte blanche to be a wuss either.

Snowie

Wibbs wrote: »

You've just described an attractive man. Confident, exciting and strong. Of course women will tend to go for that. Compared to what? Insecure, boring and weak? Instant turn off for 90% women and rightly so.

Don't underestimate "danger", or more to the point, keeping someone on their toes. Knowing he's there for you, but also knowing he has options, as other women find him attractive, but he chooses to be with you. Plus the knowledge that there's only so far you can push him.

Don't underestimate excitement either. IMHO, far more women leave men from boredom, than leave because of drama. How many times have you heard "oh he treats me badly, may have other women and disregards me, but I love him and can't leave him", compared to "He's so good to me, can't do enough for me, but I just don't feel "it" anymore. He's like a brother to me or my best friend so I'm leaving him"

This does not mean you should not have the utmost respect for the woman in your life, but it's not carte blanche to be a wuss either.

I agree man
im not saying that so much
with out a bit of danger and excitement there's nothing there really, hence the big attraction why some people do dangerous things because it makes you feel a live....


where as for a woman dateing a guy who sits at home all day playing computers and painting warhammer men..... there isnt really much there... I should explain my self more ...

CDfm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

where as for a woman dateing a guy who sits at home all day playing computers and painting warhammer men..... there isnt really much there... I should explain my self more ...

not to mention getting manflu and wanting loads of attention :rolleyes:

deathstarkiller

Damnit, I mostly love going to the cinema, sitting in watching movies and tv or playing video games. Between me not being a bad boy and interests like that I'm officially boring to women? Feck it.
I've been reading this thread, all the threads about guys wanting to be better with women and the few about guys who've just given up and I think I'm somewhere in the middle. As I've said a lot of my interests are what most women would consider boring but I do have outside interests such as drama. I'm not as interested in drinking as I used to be so I only go to pubs on the rare occasion and I don't like clubs at all anymore, unless they play rock music. Now I'm not a doormat, well not as much as I used to be anyway. I'm not bitter. I can even slag women a little but in a funny way. I'm fit, I dress well, I enjoy house parties, I go to gigs and music festivals. I'm even attempting to learn cooking as I've been told by a woman friend that a man who can cook is very attractive. But at the end of the day I get the most enjoyment in life from cinema (I think I'm addicted, I go approx 4 times a week, sometimes more), watching movies and tv and playing video games. How can I be more attractive to women but still enjoy what I love? I even have a 120" screen, a HD projector and surround sound set up at home. I really do love my home entertainment. I even hate sports, how much more of a geek could I be? If I were asked what tv character do I most identify with it'd be Roy from The IT Crowd or worse Larry David but I wish I was Burt Reynolds circa 1977 Smokey and the Bandit days.
Should this be in PI as it's own thread, should it be part of one of those other threads there, should it be here, should it be anywhere..........??

Acacia

deathstarkiller wrote: »

Damnit, I mostly love going to the cinema, sitting in watching movies and tv or playing video games. Between me not being a bad boy and interests like that I'm officially boring to women? Feck it.
I've been reading this thread, all the threads about guys wanting to be better with women and the few about guys who've just given up and I think I'm somewhere in the middle. As I've said a lot of my interests are what most women would consider boring but I do have outside interests such as drama. I'm not as interested in drinking as I used to be so I only go to pubs on the rare occasion and I don't like clubs at all anymore, unless they play rock music. Now I'm not a doormat, well not as much as I used to be anyway. I'm not bitter. I can even slag women a little but in a funny way. I'm fit, I dress well, I enjoy house parties, I go to gigs and music festivals. I'm even attempting to learn cooking as I've been told by a woman friend that a man who can cook is very attractive. But at the end of the day I get the most enjoyment in life from cinema (I think I'm addicted, I go approx 4 times a week, sometimes more), watching movies and tv and playing video games. How can I be more attractive to women but still enjoy what I love? I even have a 120" screen, a HD projector and surround sound set up at home. I really do love my home entertainment. I even hate sports, how much more of a geek could I be? If I were asked what tv character do I most identify with it'd be Roy from The IT Crowd or worse Larry David but I wish I was Burt Reynolds circa 1977 Smokey and the Bandit days.
Should this be in PI as it's own thread, should it be part of one of those other threads there, should it be here, should it be anywhere..........??

Relax! You don't sound 'boring' at all- you sound like a pretty fun guy actually- lots of women share the same interests as you (myself included :pac:) - cinema, music, cooking, drama- you seem like a well-rounded person, indeed.

Believe me, there are lots of women who would like to meet a guy like you, that has interests other than the pub and the footy!

CDfm

Acacia wrote: »

Relax! You don't sound 'boring' at all- you sound like a pretty fun guy actually- lots of women share the same interests as you (myself included :pac:) - cinema, music, cooking, drama- you seem like a well-rounded person, indeed.

Believe me, there are lots of women who would like to meet a guy like you, that has interests other than the pub and the footy!

A go on Acacia PM him:D

Acacia

CDfm wrote: »

A go on Acacia PM him:D

I'm afraid I'm already spoken for, CD! :pac:

CDfm

Acacia wrote: »

I'm afraid I'm already spoken for, CD! :pac:

deathstarkiller -I tried -she's blown ya out:eek:

Galvasean

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

where as for a woman dateing a guy who sits at home all day playing computers and painting warhammer men..... there isnt really much there... I should explain my self more ...

I baught Dawn Of War today...

deathstarkiller

Acacia wrote: »

Relax! You don't sound 'boring' at all- you sound like a pretty fun guy actually- lots of women share the same interests as you (myself included :pac:) - cinema, music, cooking, drama- you seem like a well-rounded person, indeed.

Believe me, there are lots of women who would like to meet a guy like you, that has interests other than the pub and the footy!

Aw shucks, thanks.
Now my quest is to find out where these women are.

deathstarkiller

CDfm wrote: »

deathstarkiller -I tried -she's blown ya out:eek:

Doh!!
Thanks.

Good old Boards.ie, putting my faith back in the human race.

Dragan

deathstarkiller wrote: »

Aw shucks, thanks.
Now my quest is to find out where these women are.

They are everywhere, but you need to put in some effort to actually meeting them, thats the key!

They can also crop up in the most unlikely of places. Me and my girlfriend started out as mates, became friends, became flat mates, became best friends and then started going out. It was freaking awesome and resulted in the best and healthiest relationship i have ever been in.

Just keep your eyes open for a girl that interests you and when she arrives, let her know that you are nice, friendly, interesting, clever, funny...whatever it is that makes you who you are but most of all, just let her know you find her interesting, attractive and a definite option.

CDfm

deathstarkiller wrote: »

Aw shucks, thanks.
Now my quest is to find out where these women are.

Get brave and post here

you might get slagged but all you need is one woman

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=270797&highlight=Singles+Dating