It's all very serious these days, let's talk about murder.

Dragan

Okay, so you have just killed someone. I am not too fussed about who it was or why. What i want to know is how do you get rid of the body?

Realistically, looking at your own life as it stands now, if you were driven to it, carried out the evil deed and were left with one corpse on your hands...how would you go about disposing of it so as to get away with murder?

In short, what's the best way for me to get rid of this dead hooker?

Mena

Bathtub of acid?

Wagon

Dragan wrote: »

Okay, so you have just killed someone. I am not too fussed about who it was or why. What i want to know is how do you get rid of the body?

Realistically, looking at your own life as it stands now, if you were driven to it, carried out the evil deed and were left with one corpse on your hands...how would you go about disposing of it so as to get away with murder?

In short, what's the best way for me to get rid of this dead hooker?

I hear the best thing to do is feed em' to pigs.

Quazzie

When it comes to removing a dead body, getting rid of all the body parts is crucial. Use the bathtub for minimal mess when chopping up the body. Sharp knives, hacksaws and axes work best for dismemberment. Throw a dinner party and serve your victim to your guests. Leg bones make excellent stock for soups and stews. Any left over bones can be fed to the dogs or baked until they can be crumbled up and spread around a garden later.

K-9

Watch Fargo.

Min

You could ring the Gardai and they would remove the body for you.

4zn76tysfajdxp

I don't know about getting rid of the body but the first thing I'd do is take a picture of it, post it in the photography forum and get post of the day. That would be lovely.

Earthhorse

Green bin for bio-degradables, isn't it?

Dlite

Pour some sort of plastic over it, but into a clear box and leave it in The Ambassador Theatre.

Abi

I feed the pigs with mine.

Dragan

K-9 wrote: »

Watch Fargo.

Why? That will be two hours of my life i won't be getting back.

*looks at hooker* Then again, better off than him.

I mean her.

AnonoBoy

Karsyn Future Recorder wrote: »

I don't know about getting rid of the body but the first thing I'd do is take a picture of it, post it in the photography forum and get post of the day. That would be lovely.

But if you didn't take any pictures then it wouldn't have happened so you'd get away with it.

"Pics or it didn't happen." and all that.

Wibbs

Too slow. Big placcy sheet. put body on same. Dress in old clothes. Wear a hat. Cut body into manageable pieces. Cut off hands and head. Any tattoos remove and burn. Dump bits of bodies in different river mouths so they get washed out to sea. Use biodegradable bags. Think of the environment people. Animals and decay will do the rest. Get old clothes and soak in bucket of bleach until they start to fall apart. Burn same. Try and be a serial killer in summer. The cold preserves forensics for longer. Deny everything to police if arrested. I've said too much.....:D

4zn76tysfajdxp

Dragan wrote: »

Why? That will be two hours of my life i won't be getting back.

*looks at hooker* Then again, better off than him.

I mean her.

It, now.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Dragan wrote: »

Okay, so you have just killed someone. I am not too fussed about who it was or why. What i want to know is how do you get rid of the body?

Realistically, looking at your own life as it stands now, if you were driven to it, carried out the evil deed and were left with one corpse on your hands...how would you go about disposing of it so as to get away with murder?

In short, what's the best way for me to get rid of this dead hooker?

Hire a mobil tree shredder and feed the bitch to the fish!.

.

AnonoBoy

Dlite wrote: »

Pour some sort of plastic over it, but into a clear box and leave it in The Ambassador Theatre.

Slice and Dice first.

MagicMarker

There are a number of things needed to dispose of a body.

Bathtub
Hacksaw
Copious amount of industrial strength bin liners
An old truck
A weird limp where by you drag your foot on the ground behind you, all the good murderers have them.
Denis Taylor glasses

Puddleduck

Ring the gardai and tell them that there is a body in your house, when they come round to arrest you claim to be scitzophrenic or that you were killing the devil.

Alternativly...eat her/him (again)

K-9

Dragan wrote: »

Why? That will be two hours of my life i won't be getting back.

*looks at hooker* Then again, better off than him.

I mean her.

If you don't watch it, it will be 20 years of your life you will not be getting back.

Plenty of stiffies for you in prison though.

Wibbs

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

When it comes to removing a dead body, getting rid of all the body parts is crucial. Use the bathtub for minimal mess when chopping up the body. Sharp knives, hacksaws and axes work best for dismemberment. Throw a dinner party and serve your victim to your guests. Leg bones make excellent stock for soups and stews. Any left over bones can be fed to the dogs or baked until they can be crumbled up and spread around a garden later.

Better bet.

Dragan

Wibbs wrote: »

Too slow. Big placcy sheet. put body on same. Dress in old clothes. Wear a hat. Cut body into manageable pieces. Cut off hands and head. Any tattoos remove and burn. Dump bits of bodies in different river mouths so they get washed out to sea. Use biodegradable bags. Think of the environment people. Animals and decay will do the rest. Get old clothes and soak in bucket of bleach until they start to fall apart. Burn same. Try and be a serial killer in summer. The cold preserves forensics for longer. Deny everything to police if arrested. I've said too much.....:D

The only thing you really forgot was the finger prints ( just burn them off ) and teeth ( hammer to get them out, hammer to smash them ).

But yeah, i am starting to worry a bit about your "lady killer" title now.:pac:

4zn76tysfajdxp

Mairt wrote: »

Hire a mobil tree shredder and feed the bitch to the fish!

Do you feed trees to your fish?

Davei141

I would take it to a Weekend at Bernie's.

Earthhorse

K-9 wrote: »

Watch Fargo.

Or Weekend at Bernie's.

Earthhorse

Davei141 wrote: »

I would take it to a Weekend at Bernie's.

God damnit.

For about 2 weeks in my new house, all we could watch was the Discovery channel. At least 90% of it was made up of forensic shows. That all of season 3 of CSI on DVD.

When committing a crime, pack some weights into your shoes. Also, maybe wear bigger shoes than you normally would. This way, if you do leave footprints, they will get your shoe-size and weight wrong.

Maybe the best way of dealing with dead bodies is to figure some way of hardening them, paint them with a gloss and pretend they were manakins.

Latchy

Da deep blue sea for the fish's to feed on .

If you could stick her into a large suitcase and get her on board the holyhead ferry your laughing ,people will be to busy geting sick to notice her go over the side .

Dragan

Deleted User wrote: »

Maybe the best way of dealing with dead bodies is to figure some way of hardening them, paint them with a gloss and pretend they were manakins.

That would be sweet! And, if i can get another one, i can put on a saucy puppet show!

Wibbs

Dragan wrote: »

The only thing you really forgot was the finger prints ( just burn them off ) and teeth ( hammer to get them out, hammer to smash them ).

Noted......and thank you. Use all metal knives, saws and hammers. easier to sterilise afterward.

But yeah, i am starting to worry a bit about your "lady killer" title now.:pac:

Naw I'd reserve this stuff for car thieves and burglars. Little remorse tbh. There's too many people on this planet and I've been sent by Gaaawd to cleanse the worthless. Damn it's hard to type in a strait jacket......

Saibh

Poison and set-up someone you don't like for the crime

Latchy

Wibbs wrote: »

Damn it's hard to type in a strait jacket......

The ladies are queuing up in another thread to rip that jacket of ya .