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Glaswegian Rhapsody

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  • 10-02-2009 8:58pm
    #1
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭


    Glaswegian Rhapsody with apologies to Queen (to be sung with a Scots accent)

    Is this the real life?
    or is it the methadone?
    stuck in the Gorbals, no cred on my mobile phone
    open yer wine, an' talk wi' a whine... like meeeeeeeeee!

    Ah’m just a weegie
    gie us yer Sunny D
    cos I'll chib yer pal,
    rip yer da,
    slash yer dug,
    ride yer ma,
    anyway the Clyde flows,
    disnae really matter tae me,
    tae me.

    Haw maw, just decked some bam,
    Buckie bottle tae the heid,
    Noo the ****in bastard’s deid,
    Haw maw, am just oot on parole,
    An noo am headin back tae Barlineeee....
    Haw maw .... oohoooh ooh
    Never meant tae steal yer purse,
    But if am no full o' smack this time the morra',
    Carry oot, carry oot,
    An' we'll go oot on the batter,

    Too late the bailiff's here,
    Sends shivers doon ma spine,
    Gubbed 10 jellies just in time,
    Goodbye all my muckers, I've got to go,
    Got to go and rip some **** fae up the scheme,

    Haw maw... oohoooh ooh
    I'm a jakey bam,
    Sometimes I think I've never been washed at all,

    I see a little silhouetto of a bam.
    Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get me some Kappa,
    Thunderbird, White Lighting,
    Very very frightening, me!
    Twenty Mayfair? (Twenty Mayfair!)
    Twenty Mayfair? (Twenty Mayfair and some skins!)
    Magnifico oh oh oh oh!
    I’m just a fat boy, naebody loves me
    He’s just a fat boy fae a fat family,
    Spare us a pound for a wee cup o' tea?
    Get tae ****, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
    For **** sake.... NO! I will not get a job,
    Get a job,
    For **** sake.... I will not get a job,
    Get a job.... Willnae get a job,
    Get a job.... Willnae get a job,
    no, no, no, no, no,
    Oh gonorrhoea!
    Gonorrhoea, gonorrhoea and the clap,
    Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside for me?
    For me, for meeeee!?

    So you 'hink you can slash me and pish in my eye?
    So ye 'hink ye can chib me an' leave me to die?
    Haw bawbag, can't dae this tae me bawbag!
    Just wait till I'm oot, just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!

    Fnck all really matters, anyone can see
    Fnck all really matters.....
    Fnck all really matters.....
    Tae meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... eeeeeeeeeeeee... eeeeee


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