trying to get pregnant but no interest in sex

polo bear

Just wanted a little advice. Myself and my husband decided to start our family so at first we stopped using contraception and continued to have sex as we pleased. About six months later my sister got pregnant and I was envious so I knew I wanted this badly. The next month I looked at my dates and made sure to target the best days.
To my pleasant surprise it worked I was pregnant. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 8 wks. I was upset but I thought well it happens and at least I knew we could get pregnant.
After my D&C we took it easy and didn't target dates for the next two months. By the time my third cycle came we were back looking at dates and I even got the ovulation sticks to help.
Two weeks later I was feeling sick in work and my breast hurt it was exactly like last time. So I was excited my date for my period went by and I did a test and got a positive the next day I got my period. I looked it up and apparently it is what is known as a chemical miscarriage. This floored both of us and actually affected us more than the 'real' miscarriage.

Since then (6 months) we lost all interest in sex as it is fully associated with disappointment. We stopped looking at dates as the pressure was getting to us and tried to just have fun however we seemed to avoid the prime time’s therefore I have not got pregnant. It has now come to the stage that if my husband knows when I should be ovulating by husband can't actually perform.

Anyway, I apologies for the long post but I would like to know if others have this problem and if so have they been able to get past it.

IsThatSo?

I am sorry to hear of your miscarriages

Would you consider ringing your maternity hospital, or the consultant you were dealing with if you were going private, and see if they can put you in touch with a counsellor who deals with pregnancy loss? Its a really tough time for both of you and talking to someone might help, even just a little.

Joey the lips

polo bear wrote: »

Just wanted a little advice. Myself and my husband decided to start our family so at first we stopped using contraception and continued to have sex as we pleased. About six months later my sister got pregnant and I was envious so I knew I wanted this badly. The next month I looked at my dates and made sure to target the best days.
To my pleasant surprise it worked I was pregnant. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 8 wks. I was upset but I thought well it happens and at least I knew we could get pregnant.
After my D&C we took it easy and didn't target dates for the next two months. By the time my third cycle came we were back looking at dates and I even got the ovulation sticks to help.
Two weeks later I was feeling sick in work and my breast hurt it was exactly like last time. So I was excited my date for my period went by and I did a test and got a positive the next day I got my period. I looked it up and apparently it is what is known as a chemical miscarriage. This floored both of us and actually affected us more than the 'real' miscarriage.

Since then (6 months) we lost all interest in sex as it is fully associated with disappointment. We stopped looking at dates as the pressure was getting to us and tried to just have fun however we seemed to avoid the prime time’s therefore I have not got pregnant. It has now come to the stage that if my husband knows when I should be ovulating by husband can't actually perform.

Anyway, I apologies for the long post but I would like to know if others have this problem and if so have they been able to get past it.

Hi Polo bear, I am really sad for your loss. My wife and I lost ours at 8 weeks like you it floored us. Dont dismay yet. It killed us both she is now at 6 weeks with another so fingers crossed. It took another 6 months to get her! I read on this forum that a women had 4 miscarriages and 4 chldren 2 miscarriages after each other.

Please dont think I am compareing your situation. The disapointment is clearly showing on you both. Try make a bit of time for yourselves and despite what you feel try to be optim that you can concieve. Read on the threads on this site and you will realise you not alone.

My mom gave me a bit of advice which I hope helps you " You never get over a miscarriage, Its like looseing a life. But what helps you deal with it is when the next child does come along one day you will be sitting down and watching s/he doing something and you will realise if you had not had those miscarriages you would not of had s/he

Best of luck its worth all the effort