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Favorite Chat Up Lines..

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    #32
    illiop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 682 ✭✭✭illiop


    aoibhebree wrote: »
    Me: All we need here is a six foot penguin
    Him: ... why??
    Me: To break the ice!!

    Love it :D

    The better version of this is when you radomly shout "FAT PENGUIN!!" at someone...then explain what your acutally at.

    There's also the good auld: "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?" <- You can be sure he's a keeper:cool:


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    #33
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    "Did you know that the distance from here *puts hand on right shoulder* to here
    *puts hand on middle of back*     is the exact same as the distance from here *tap middle of back again* to here *move closer and put hand on other shoulder*"


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    #34
    Aisling(",)
    Registered Users Posts: 6,410 ✭✭✭Aisling(",)


    An File wrote: »
    "Did you know that the distance from here *puts hand on right shoulder* to here
    *puts hand on middle of back*     is the exact same as the distance from here *tap middle of back again* to here *move closer and put hand on other shoulder*"

    i love that one
    another of the same type:
    if you were a pirate would you wear your parrot on this shoulder*touch closest one* or this one *the other one.*


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    #35
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Aisling(",) wrote: »
    i love that one
    another of the same type:
    if you were a pirate would you wear your parrot on this shoulder*touch closest one* or this one *the other one.*

    Quality! :D

    One of my college buddies came out with an absolute gem yesterday:

    "Would ya like to go halves on a ba$tard?"

    :D


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    #36
    D4RK ONION
    Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    I preferred
    "I have some terrible news, my cock died, can I bury it in your ass"

    Crude yet effective


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    #37
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Did the guy who said that end up winning that competition?


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    #38
    D4RK ONION
    Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    I believe he did... Are we allowed to discuss such things here?


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    #39
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Not really... Off-topic discussion goes here.

    Now, more chat-up lines!

    "Do you come here often?" :o


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    #40
    D4RK ONION
    Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    Or, my personal favourite...

    *points to woman's crotch*
    Do you cum here often?

    (that's my own creation, use at your own risk)


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    #41
    Crumble Froo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    pickup_lines.png

    convincing_pickup_line.png


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    #42
    Ginja Ninja
    Registered Users Posts: 3,532 ✭✭✭Ginja Ninja


    use at your own risk:

    but for a laugh one of the lads tried

    ""i've got a knife and an erection,lets not turn this rape into a murder""

    he was nearly sure she'd get him arrested for that


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    #43
    aoibhebree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 467 ✭✭aoibhebree


    Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
    Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
    Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.



    Man: Is this seat empty?
    Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
    Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my cock just yet



    Man: Your place or mine?
    Woman: Both. You go to yours, and Ill go to mine.
    Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my
    car, I don't give a **** where you go.



    Man: So, what do you do for a living?
    Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
    Man: That explains the moustache then!




    Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Woman: Unfertilised.
    Man: No problem, Ill just shoot my load up your arse.



    Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
    Woman: But would you stay there?
    Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
    impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.



    Man: Would you like to dance?
    Woman: Id rather eat glass.
    Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.



    Man: Where have you been all my life?
    Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
    Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.


    Man: You're pretty
    Woman: Piss off.
    Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.


    Man:did it hurt?
    Woman:what?when i fell from heaven??
    Man:no,when you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch along the way!


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    #44
    Rozabeez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,878 ✭✭✭Rozabeez


    "I like your hair, lets score somewhere the Canadian can't see."

    That one worked, high fives!


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    #45
    Aisling(",)
    Registered Users Posts: 6,410 ✭✭✭Aisling(",)


    nice legs what time do they open

    hows your belly for a lodger

    and my personal favourite up for a fcuk?:rolleyes:


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    #46
    c4cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭c4cat


    Excuse me, would you hold it against me if I just told you that you got a fantastic looking body?

    Which ever she/answers your in


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    #47
    GalwayKiefer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,005 ✭✭✭GalwayKiefer


    Aisling(",) wrote: »
    up for a fcuk?

    I have actually heard this being used on a female friend of mine in Ennis, she was so stunned (he was being serious) that all she could mumble was "Eh, no thank you." I stood there crying laughing as the guy then turned around to one of her friends and repeated his poetry. :D

    Back on topic,
    I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into the cheap hotel around the corner.

    My name is milk, and I wanna do your body good!

    *reaches over and checks jacket/top tag/label*
    Girl: What the hell are you doing?
    Guy: I just wanted to see if all angels were made in Heaven. :cool:


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    #48
    tolosenc
    Registered Users Posts: 6,889 ✭✭✭tolosenc


    I wish I was your derivative...

    Does this smell like chloroform to you?


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    #49
    cautioner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 862 ✭✭✭cautioner


    For 17-year-olds only:

    I HAVE A CAR I CAN BUY YOU DRINK I HAVE A CAR.


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    #50
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    cautioner wrote: »
    For 17-year-olds only:

    I HAVE A CAR I CAN BUY YOU DRINK I HAVE A CAR.

    *swoon*


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    #51
    Synods
    Closed Accounts Posts: 71 ✭✭Synods


    And for the mathematic fanatics......

    Are you the square root of two? Cos your makin me irrational.....


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    #52
    cautioner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 862 ✭✭✭cautioner


    Synods wrote: »
    And for the mathematic fanatics......

    Are you the square root of two? Cos your makin me irrational.....

    SO USING THAT


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    #53
    Synods
    Closed Accounts Posts: 71 ✭✭Synods


    cautioner wrote: »
    SO USING THAT
    Well if you liked that one cautioner you could also use your magic with:

    Do you like maths?
    Cos we could ADD you and me together,
    SUBTRACT our clothes,
    DIVIDE your legs,
    and MULTIPLY

    God knows its worked on me a few times......


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    #54
    Diabhal Beag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,238 ✭✭✭✭Diabhal Beag


    Shall we copulate on the bathroom floor. I'm a romantic at heart :pac:


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    #55
    cautioner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 862 ✭✭✭cautioner


    You've inspired me to use my Googling powers for evil:
    Nerdy Chatup Lines wrote:
    You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
    I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
    You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
    Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
    I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
    If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
    Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress

    I can see my sex life improving drastically with these deadly weapons...


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    #56
    Fad
    Registered Users Posts: 7,231 ✭✭✭Fad


    My favourite method is the auld Right Hook to the ear.


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    #57
    RALEIGH_BURNER2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 123 ✭✭RALEIGH_BURNER2


    I'm no Fred Flinstone but I can make your Bedrock!


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    #58
    D4RK ONION
    Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    What's your sign* baby?

    It must be pi over two, cause you're the 1!

    *=read sine


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    #59
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    "Hmmm, I'd sure love to have breakfast with you some day..."


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    #60
    Tea-a-Maria
    Registered Users Posts: 734 ✭✭✭Tea-a-Maria


    Used on me by a ridiculously drunk person at a concert.
    'Hey is your last name Jacobs?'Cos you're a cracker!':rolleyes:

    Can't remember where I heard this one.
    'Hey,are those space pants?'Cos your ass is outta this world!'


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    #61
    Crumble Froo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    haha, that jacobs one is fantastic :D


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