Favorite Chat Up Lines..

ironictoaster

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Scrambled or fertilised?

g-whizz

Hey, do you like pearl necklaces...

Yea why?

do you want one later??!!

that one is dirt!

PlayGirl

"did you just shake your tic tacs at me?!"

was used on me on the bus,,
oh how i lol'd

(i was eating tic tacs at the time )

Richard Cranium

Have you a Debs date yet?

3hn2givr7mx1sc

"Can I buy ya a drink, or d'ya just want the money?"

"If you were a car, I'd wax ya and ride ya all over town"

Two girls standing there, one is good-lookin, other isn't..
Lad(talking to ugly friend): "D'ya like dancin'?
Ugly one: "Yeah!"
Lad: "Good, you go dance while I chat up your friend"

All sure to work;)

challengemaster

g-whizz wrote: »

"hey, i've got a new tatoo... its on my dick... its the word "dictionary".. how about we go back to mine and i put a few words in your mouth?!"

You'd better be careful there....depending on how stupid the person is to fall for that one, she might have some trouble swallowing words with more than 2 syllables

Anne-Marie!! wrote: »

Ha, well my guess is, a slap in the face, some verry dirty looks and possibly a drink over the head.* :D


*possible slight over-exaggeration, but its still a REALLY bad line :pac:

And to top it off, you now have 'DIARY' tattoo'd onto yer lad when it goes soft....

Talk about a pocket dictionary though...

Time for facepalm? I think so!

Henrik Huge Stimulus wrote: »

"If you were a car, I'd wax ya and ride ya all over town"

Thats the problem with cars, they're not self-waxing like women

whadabouchasir

My favourite chat up line:
"were you born on a chicken farm?"
"No"
"Well you know how to raise cocks!"

challengemaster

Who needs chat up lines anyway...just play some "romantic" music >_>

:pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If_LHpBQnBI

brownacid

Is your father a farmer?

Cos you got nice melons!

This worked on my current girlfriend, granted she is a farmer and I had known her for 6 years so Im not sure how it stand p in a random situation


You look like my future ex wife...
This worked at oxegen for me last year

Beauty is only a light switch away...

Is that a mirror in your pants?
Cos I can see myself in them

Kersmash

touch my wiLy!!!1

OneArt

My favourite from American Dad: "KISS! FOREPLAY! INTERCOURSE! NOW!"

herisson

challengemaster wrote: »

Who needs chat up lines anyway...just play some "romantic" music >_>

:pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If_LHpBQnBI

so romantic gets me going everytime ;) lol ha ha

Lively-Blonde

this is the worst chat up line that was used on me and needless to say it didnt work:

"I'd love ta knaw face off ya"

like seriously?! what was he thinking:rolleyes:


the funnier the better i think but that was just plain nasty!

djcervi

I've worse! I remember at some end of leaving cert do a while back (19th june:D) one of my friends was chatting up some girl at our table. I went away for a while to talk to other people (as it was the end of the night and I was going home) and they started scoring.
In the taxi home he was talking about it and he ended up saying how one thing lead to another. Anyway he said to her "So, do you wanna take advantage of a drunken guy?" and she did. :pac:

priceless stuff

K4t

Or even...............:pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP3bZZLGBlo

ladylilly21

A different spin on one already mentioned;
Man: Excuse me, me and my friends were having an debte that we can't solve, can I have your opinion?
Girl: Ok?
Man: How much does a polar bear weight?
Girl: I don't have a clue...
Man: Well I'm sure it was heavy enough to break the ice between us

Is that a wonder bra you're wearing? cause it sure as hell doing wonder's for me!

I lost my number, can I have your's?

Halla Basin

Hey beautiful, I saw you from behind and -WOAH!! GTFO

Cionn

Did you fart? Because you just blew me away. Straight from digital channel dave

Mushy

Might have been said but neh

'Here, does my tongue taste funny?'

bythewoods

I've been scoring a lot lately.
And I have only these lines to thank:


"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Ok"
"Barman, can I have a pint of water and a knife please. Get your coat."
--
"Do you like jewelery?"
"Yes!"
"Suck this. It's a knife."
--
"Have you got mirrors in your knickers?
'Cos I can see myself in 'em tonight.
Because I've got a knife."
--
"Quick, call 999!"
"Let me guess...because I've stolen your heart?"
"No, because i've got a knife."
--
"Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? J'ai un couteau."
--
"That's a nice dress - it would look great on my bedroom floor. Next to
my knife."
--
"Are your feet tired? 'Cos you've been running through my mind all day.
Also because I chased you with my knife."
--
"Somebody had better call God cos' he's missing an angel. Call the
police too, I have a knife."
--
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or will I have to show you my
knife?"
--
"There are 206 bones in the human body. How about one more? Or a knife?"
--
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, walk towards the
door. Now."
--
"If you looked into a mirror holding a dozen red roses....you would see
the thirteen most beautiful things in the world. Also, me behind you
with a knife."
--
"Excuse me, but would you like to dance?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that I've got a knife in my pants."
--

"I feel like Richard Gere - standing next to the Pretty Woman. Also, I
feel like Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee. I've got a ****ing huge
knife."
--
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in
your eyes. And also in case I have to use this knife."
--
"Excuse me, but did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No"
"Good. I hope I don't have to ask you the same question again, but about
being stabbed by this knife. Walk towards the door."
--
"If I had a twelve inch penis would you come home with me?"
"No."
"Oh well, good job I have a twelve inch knife as well."

Fince

bythewoods wrote: »

I've been scoring a lot lately.
And I have only these lines to thank:


"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Ok"
"Barman, can I have a pint of water and a knife please. Get your coat."
--
"Do you like jewelery?"
"Yes!"
"Suck this. It's a knife."
--
"Have you got mirrors in your knickers?
'Cos I can see myself in 'em tonight.
Because I've got a knife."
--
"Quick, call 999!"
"Let me guess...because I've stolen your heart?"
"No, because i've got a knife."
--
"Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? J'ai un couteau."
--
"That's a nice dress - it would look great on my bedroom floor. Next to
my knife."
--
"Are your feet tired? 'Cos you've been running through my mind all day.
Also because I chased you with my knife."
--
"Somebody had better call God cos' he's missing an angel. Call the
police too, I have a knife."
--
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or will I have to show you my
knife?"
--
"There are 206 bones in the human body. How about one more? Or a knife?"
--
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, walk towards the
door. Now."
--
"If you looked into a mirror holding a dozen red roses....you would see
the thirteen most beautiful things in the world. Also, me behind you
with a knife."
--
"Excuse me, but would you like to dance?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that I've got a knife in my pants."
--

"I feel like Richard Gere - standing next to the Pretty Woman. Also, I
feel like Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee. I've got a ****ing huge
knife."
--
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in
your eyes. And also in case I have to use this knife."
--
"Excuse me, but did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No"
"Good. I hope I don't have to ask you the same question again, but about
being stabbed by this knife. Walk towards the door."
--
"If I had a twelve inch penis would you come home with me?"
"No."
"Oh well, good job I have a twelve inch knife as well."

i don't know why, but i found this absolutely hilarious

Stev_o

bythewoods wrote: »

I've been scoring a lot lately.
And I have only these lines to thank:


"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Ok"
"Barman, can I have a pint of water and a knife please. Get your coat."
--
"Do you like jewelery?"
"Yes!"
"Suck this. It's a knife."
--
"Have you got mirrors in your knickers?
'Cos I can see myself in 'em tonight.
Because I've got a knife."
--
"Quick, call 999!"
"Let me guess...because I've stolen your heart?"
"No, because i've got a knife."
--
"Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? J'ai un couteau."
--
"That's a nice dress - it would look great on my bedroom floor. Next to
my knife."
--
"Are your feet tired? 'Cos you've been running through my mind all day.
Also because I chased you with my knife."
--
"Somebody had better call God cos' he's missing an angel. Call the
police too, I have a knife."
--
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or will I have to show you my
knife?"
--
"There are 206 bones in the human body. How about one more? Or a knife?"
--
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, walk towards the
door. Now."
--
"If you looked into a mirror holding a dozen red roses....you would see
the thirteen most beautiful things in the world. Also, me behind you
with a knife."
--
"Excuse me, but would you like to dance?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that I've got a knife in my pants."
--

"I feel like Richard Gere - standing next to the Pretty Woman. Also, I
feel like Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee. I've got a ****ing huge
knife."
--
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in
your eyes. And also in case I have to use this knife."
--
"Excuse me, but did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No"
"Good. I hope I don't have to ask you the same question again, but about
being stabbed by this knife. Walk towards the door."
--
"If I had a twelve inch penis would you come home with me?"
"No."
"Oh well, good job I have a twelve inch knife as well."

Knife fetish much?

Shacklebolt

Stev_o wrote: »

Knife fetish much?

Hes been watching this scene too much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NI6iu7e91Y

sock puppet

Shacklebolt wrote: »

Hes been watching this scene too much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NI6iu7e91Y

That video kicks so much ass:pac:

Anna Molly

"Do you like cheese? cause I'm an easi single!":D

Teutorix

bythewoods wrote: »

I've been scoring a lot lately.
And I have only these lines to thank:


"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Ok"
"Barman, can I have a pint of water and a knife please. Get your coat."
--
"Do you like jewelery?"
"Yes!"
"Suck this. It's a knife."
--
"Have you got mirrors in your knickers?
'Cos I can see myself in 'em tonight.
Because I've got a knife."
--
"Quick, call 999!"
"Let me guess...because I've stolen your heart?"
"No, because i've got a knife."
--
"Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? J'ai un couteau."
--
"That's a nice dress - it would look great on my bedroom floor. Next to
my knife."
--
"Are your feet tired? 'Cos you've been running through my mind all day.
Also because I chased you with my knife."
--
"Somebody had better call God cos' he's missing an angel. Call the
police too, I have a knife."
--
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or will I have to show you my
knife?"
--
"There are 206 bones in the human body. How about one more? Or a knife?"
--
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, walk towards the
door. Now."
--
"If you looked into a mirror holding a dozen red roses....you would see
the thirteen most beautiful things in the world. Also, me behind you
with a knife."
--
"Excuse me, but would you like to dance?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that I've got a knife in my pants."
--

"I feel like Richard Gere - standing next to the Pretty Woman. Also, I
feel like Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee. I've got a ****ing huge
knife."
--
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in
your eyes. And also in case I have to use this knife."
--
"Excuse me, but did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No"
"Good. I hope I don't have to ask you the same question again, but about
being stabbed by this knife. Walk towards the door."
--
"If I had a twelve inch penis would you come home with me?"
"No."
"Oh well, good job I have a twelve inch knife as well."

Epic, just epic.

Professey Chin

im not taking notes...............>_>

andyman

You: Would you like me to buy you a drink and maybe shag you later?
Her: No
You: You don't drink?

bythewoods

Shacklebolt wrote: »

Hes been watching this scene too much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NI6iu7e91Y

I'm actually a She. Just to clarify :P
Talk about the perfect woman, eh?

Professey Chin

bythewoods wrote: »

I'm actually a She. Just to clarify :P
Talk about the perfect woman, eh?

Yep. Boobies and a knife fetish.
What else is needed?