ADHD

dibbles

Hi everyone, my son is 8 and was diagnosed 2 mths ago with ADHD after being in the system for 4 yrs !! It was a long and hard slog but for his sake I kept at it as I knew there was something not right.
Myself and my husband separated when he was 3 and initially myself and psych. was putting his behaviour down to this but as time went on I knew it was more than that so it finally paid off.
Its not that I wanted to label him ,I just felt that I ws in limbo. I knew how to address discipliune issues with kids with ADHD but because he hadn been diagnosed I treated him as normal and ww 3 would break out . I didn want him to think he was getting away with it. Now I have a direction to go in and I feel ok about how I proceed with issues.
We have previously tried everything, star charts, time out, taking things away, etc. NOTHING worked. It is so difficult.
The hardest part now is that I have a daughter 1.5 yrs younger than my son ,who is now 6. It is very difficult to try and explain to her why he is treated differently. I have heard "Why can he do it ? "so many times.
The two of them NEVER stop fighting with each other.
He is not medicated yet but I am going to try it. The psyc. said its like a circle out of sync and the meds help to put it all back in place but no it is not a remedy but as he gets older he will learn how to handle situations himself and will hopefully not need it.
I have tried everything else and so to help him get on better ,socially , in school ,at the mo ,I will try it and see. If it changes him or his personality in any way ,He is straight off it.
Sorry, Hope its not too long !!

molard

my own child was safed by taking his meds.up till then he was continously fighting with his sister.getting worse each time.getting into trouble in school and with other family members.when he is on his meds he is calmer and able to get on with everyone.it is lovely to see him and his sister getting on now.he can see the difference himself.

dibbles

Hopefully the same will happen to my son , It is very difficult to listen to it constantly when you are on your own, You cant just dissapear for half an hours peace !! There might be light at the end of the tunnel !!!;)

mummytotwo

Hi, i have a son (aged 6) who was diagnosed with adhd 2 years ago. He was seen by the early intervention services since he was 2.
He has always been a handful, walking by 9 months, talking by 1 year (3 word sentances etc) He has no fear what so ever and doesnt think about his actions.

He was removed from a number of creches as they couldnt manage him. In the end i finished work and stayed home to mind him.

He started school in september 2009, this was a big changing point but not in a good way. I tried to break him into it by placing him in creche for 3 mornings a week but after the 5th morning i was asked to take him home they couldnt manage him.

In school he was like a bomb. He'd sit there tossing and turning, couldnt sit still, moving on the chair, climbing on it, getting under the tables, shouting, pushing kids just behaving really badly. This continued for 3 weeks, with me being called in most days. I applied for an SNA and he got on in October. Even with his full time SNA they were still struggling.
We had reward charts in school and at home, had the same rules in each place. I would meet with teachers (class teacher, SNA, resource teacher and principal) regularly and discuss how things were going. I broke down quite a few times when talking to them.
By December he still hadnt changed if anything he was getting worse. Its heartbreaking to see your child labeled the "bold" one by other parents. Other kids dont want to play with them.
He was just gone 5 years old and i started him on Ritalin in the December. He was on half a tablet (very low dose) in the morning - only when at school. It made such a difference, he was managable. I would not say in any way he was "doped" as i seen it reffered to above. He was still giddy but could concentrate, he drew me a picture, it was amazing. He coloured inside the lines, the detail was like nothing i had seen from him before. Within 3 months he had caught up with his class with his reading and writing.

But i started to notice side effects. He was getting a twitch. He would stretch his face, turning his eyes up and opening his mouth and eyes wide. He also blinked heavy. This became worse over the next 6 weeks and i took him off the Ritalin. They were saying it could be the onset of Tourettes but i wasnt chancing it so that was the end of Ritalin. There are a huge number of drugs that work in many different ways with different doeses. Just to say i had been completely against drugs up until he started school and things became exhausting for everyone involved.

He now takes Exusym (excuse the spelling) this works much better, its a slow release tablet. He takes it in the morning with breakfast and it will start to have effect by the time he gets to school. Again he is on a low dose and doesnt come across as "drugged" or "doped" he is like a regular kid, stands in line, listens to the teacher during assembly and walks to class.

Now at home after school is still tough going. My son will attack his little sister (she's 2) for a reason only known to him. HE breaks toys, rips books, fights with the kids outside. HE doesnt get invited to play in peoples house, parties etc. Most people don't know that he has ADHD and just assume he is bold and unruley.

Its not like he doesnt do anything energetic. Only a weekly basis he goes to soccer training, hurling training, swimming, gaelic training and one day a week in the play centre. We have had trouble getting to keep a place in most of the groups to be honest. Swimming is by far his favourite, a sport that he can do alone, doesnt invole team works.

Also with regards video games, I spotted someone saying these have an adverse effect on kids with ADHD. My son loves doing things on his own (they have been testing for autism with him for a while now) he loves video games and could sit for 30 minutes playing them - This is my 1/2 hour of peace where i can run around and get a few bits done in the house. HE never sits down like this for anything else, even dinner. I've spoken to the clinic and they said there isn't a link with computer games and ADHD. Obviously too much of anything is bad for you though so everything in moderation.


My son still see's a child pyscologist and a team in St. Annes clinic in Galway. He visits the clinic regularly and they also visit the school every coupole months to talk with his teachers.

I struggle on many days, i break down and cry, i find myself screaming. After years of being with my son i still feel i don't "know" him. He's a funny little man, says what he thinks and can charm the pants off ya. I can always see the good in him. I would ring around to your gp, the childrens clinic etc. Make an appointment and also look into parenting classes. I also seen a social worker for a while to help me too. Its very stressful at times and can really get you down. If you've any questions fire away

cynder

HI mummytotwo

Your post came just in time.

I was at the speech therapist with my (just turned 4 year old) yesterday, he is starting school in September. He has been with the early intervention services for nearly 2 years and we have no diagnoses.

Yesterday the speech therapist said she will diagnose him with a specific speech disorder in the coming months and when the psychologist sees him (he has been wait-listed for the last 2 years) they will look into a learning disability (we are still questioning adhd).

He is in the preschool 4 days, 2 days with a preschool assistant and 2 days without. He started off with only 2 days and we have slowly built it up. I must say he has calmed down a little bit, he loves the computer games and can spend over an hour on them, he can sit quietly and watch the tv for an hour if it is something he likes.

He sees no danger and only yesterday he took to jumping of the 5th step on the staircase thats over 3 foot high and jumps over 5 foot in length, he started crawling at 6 months up on his hands and knees straight up the stairs. I have mentioned what he has done on the thread 'when its all gone quite'.


The early intervention services told me he would not be diagnosed with adhd until he is in a school environment. He has weekly sessions with the speech therapist, he has weekly group sessions with the early intervention educator, he has 1 to 1 sessions with the early intervention educator, has been wait-listed for the psychologist, wait-listed for a full asd assessment. He has been wait-listed for nearly 2 years. His speech is that of a 2.5 year old.


Out of curiosity why did it take 2 years to diagnose you son with ADHD? I've been waiting nearly 2 years and im hoping for answers soon.

To add everyone knows my lad has ISSUES so no one refers to him as a bold child, most find him very very funny. His smile melts peoples hearts even when he is bold. The pre school is great and the school are preparing for him.

Nevyn

hi mummytotwo, sounds like you have it tough atm.

The decision to medicate is never an easyone, and having a whirlwind in the house must be hard. When my son started school I was up there nearly every day it was tough going and while he did settle after the first two year, not a week passed that I didnt' go to the school at least once. It should get easier as he gets older.

Please remember to take time out for yourself, be it going for a walk or haveing a bath or 30 mins of quiet time for yourself when they are both in bed, you have to look after yourself so you can look after them.

mummytotwo

grindalwald - hi
It took so long to diagnose him because they said adhd couldnt be diagnosed until he was older... i dont believe that though.
Also i rang every other day asking how far up the list we were. There are a number of different places in galway that i rang trying to find info and doctors. I had even contatced a private doctor in Dublin (through a mum on another site) and was set to go up there but i got a letter with a public appointment before it.

He was seen by many doctors and the tests themselves took over 6 months!!! He had speech and lanaguage assesments (which he has no problems with) he was seen by social workers on a one to one meeting a couple of times, then by consultants. He also met with a group of other children and they watched how he interacted with them.
I have no idea why it took 2 years? But the assesment itself (once the ball got rolling) took 6-7 months. Then he was diagnosed with adhd and a question mark whether he also autistic (on the low end spectrum) he has a few autistic traits.

He hasnt learning difficulties as such, but he finds it so hard to concentrate that sometimes he falls behind the class with reading and writing. He remembers things really well but its trying to get him to sit long enough to take it in.

My little lad was in hospital so many times from 12 months to 3 years that i had a social worker call out to see if there was abuse in the home or neglect!!!! After i explained the situation and showed my letters for waiting list etc she backed off. He's split his head, glued his lips together, broke his arm, climbed out sitting room windows, run out infront of cars (because he'll see something in the distnace), fallen down the stairs, pushed me down the stairs - leading to me fracturing my ankle, cut my hair off these are just a few to mention!! The list is never ending.

He also cant sleep at night, meaning he goes to bed at 9pm (used to be earlier but doctors said to leave him up later) and sleeps around 12 or 1am
gets up at 5am or 6am everyday!!


He is somewhat easier now as he understands more (not that he listens) also because he is in school (this sounds awful) but i get a break in the mornings and i feel so much better for it!

Keep pestering your doctors and the early intervention to try get seen sooner. Ring and email them if you annoy them enough they'll get your appointment out



Thaedydal - thanks for the reply. It gets tough alright some days worse than others. Nice to know it should get easier believe it or not i finf my time in work is my time to get away from the kids and the house and just relax I work as a waitress so not exactly stressful but keeps me busy and interacting with people my age. Its so nice to have an adult conversation ever now and then

cynder

mummytotwo wrote: »

My little lad was in hospital so many times from 12 months to 3 years that i had a social worker call out to see if there was abuse in the home or neglect!!!! After i explained the situation and showed my letters for waiting list etc she backed off. He's split his head, glued his lips together, broke his arm, climbed out sitting room windows, run out infront of cars (because he'll see something in the distnace), fallen down the stairs, pushed me down the stairs - leading to me fracturing my ankle, cut my hair off these are just a few to mention!! The list is never ending.

He also cant sleep at night, meaning he goes to bed at 9pm (used to be earlier but doctors said to leave him up later) and sleeps around 12 or 1am
gets up at 5am or 6am everyday!!

Thats what im getting, they wont diagnose until he is in a school setting. But now the ball is rolling hope fully we will have answers by the end of this year.

My lad doesn't seem to be as hyper as yours although he does do everything you say your son does except breaking bones. If he sees something of interest he will run and run and could fall down or run out in front of a car. He doesn't go to sleep until 11.30pm and sometimes wakes at night. Scissors our out of reach (thankfully).

He ticks some boxes in ASD but not all so its not clear cut whats going on with him and because he hasn't seen the psychologist yet we have been left in limbo. He has very poor speech (both language and comprehension) and that in itself causes difficulties and it would be safe to assume that that would impact on behavior and learning. Its a long road ahead. But after saying that his is a joy to be with, the things he gets up to are so funny. He has twice opened his sister's bedroom window and threw everything he could get his hands on out the window, including breakables. Her upstairs window in now locked. He has been found swinging out of the windows upstairs but there are no locks on the windows(except our daughters) to prevent him from opening them but we have moved things away from the windows so he cant use them to climb on.


He love lining up things and arranging things in either lines or patterns, he like his alone time and does not like hustle and bustle (unless his controlling it) he does get on well with other children but only on his terms when things aren't on his terms he goes of and plays by himself, he really only joins in if there is running and horse play (play fighting) going on.

He has given his brother black eyes and fat lips, he has given me a fat lip. He has no attention span for things he dislikes but he can stay focused for 2 hours on things that he loves. Speech therapy has been abandoned a few times because he would not cooperate and can only stay focused for a max of 20 mins and no longer will continue. He has thrown loads of temper tantrums there and has cracked a tooth after he threw himself at a metal chair. we have had entire sessions of temper tantrums where no work with him the longest was 45 mins and he started again when we got home, he screams, cries , throws himself around, hides under tables and chairs, and that can last well over an hour.


He found preschool hard but after 2 months he loves going, he know the routine now and loves it, i do get called in occasionally when his upset and cant calm himself down, no trigger has been found for these episodes. The other kids are well aware they cant touch anything belonging to him otherwise he gets either really upset or screams at them (as he cant talk to them). It helps that he has his own personal assistant for 2 days. If he didnt have her goodness knows what it would be like.

mummytotwo

You little lad has some traits the sound like ADD. Easily distracted, bored easily, likes the rough play - on his terms, tunnel vision - does things without thinking of consiquences.
If you go to your local library you can find great books on adhd and add.

mumof2

Your local support group will help advise you as you will meet other parents in similar situations, who may be willing to share their experiences with you, and ye could share tips and ideas to help eachother.

I have been in yer shoes, mummytotwo and grindelwald,

its horrible being called in every day to the school. My daughter is now 11 and has been diagnosed since 6 years of age, (it took 3 years waiting to get a diagnosis and ended up going privately) and she has no friends that would ring her up to ask her to come and play. Im the one who rings around looking for someone for her to come and play during the longer holidays.

You are all doing the best ye can, and keep it up. Remember to also look after yourselves.

Take care.

mummytotwo

thanks mumof2.
Im lucky that my little lad has plenty of cousins around and gets to see them at least once a month. They get on well for a while then always end up fighting... but isnt that what happens with all kids

I find routine helps with my little lad. He has his routine when he gets up, just silly things like the order that he does things (washing, dressing eating etc) he likes it to be the same.
The same thing in school. He starts by lining up with teh other kids, then he goes and leaves his bag and lunch in his class and heads off with his resource teacher. If she's not in he canbe put out for the day. He has his 30 minutes of one to one (treat time) with his SNA at the end of the day too. He collects tokens every day in school. The max is 5 tokens. He gets one for standing quietly and patiently in line, one for remembering to put his hand up in class before speaking etc etc. If he gets 3 in a day he gets to play a boardgame with his SNA (chess, ludo etc) if he gets 4 he can choose to play basketball or the likes and if he gets 5 he gets to go on the laptop in school!! HE loves this and it works really really well with him. I can tell straight away by how many tokens he got what kind of day he had.

dibbles

Hi ,my son diagnosed a few months ago with ADHD by child psyc. We ahve an appointm now in 2 weeks with another child psych for county(HSE). They seemingle confirm the diagnosis and see if diagnosis is needed etc.
Does anyone have any info on this appt. ,is that what the appt is for ??
I thought the previous psyc would do all that?

Nevyn

Was the first evaluation a private one? If so and there are services being put in place for your child the HSE who provides them will want their own assessment.

dibbles

Hi, No the first evaluation was also through the HSE???

boarder83

On a lighter note - check this book out

http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-Have-ADHD-Kathy-Hoopmann/dp/1843106515

It's very cute and surprisingly informative.

Best of luck with your son, hopefully you'll find a strategy that works for you both.

mumof2

boarder83 wrote: »

On a lighter note - check this book out

http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-Have-ADHD-Kathy-Hoopmann/dp/1843106515

It's very cute and surprisingly informative.

Best of luck with your son, hopefully you'll find a strategy that works for you both.

We have that - it is very good!!

mumof2

mummytotwo wrote: »

thanks mumof2.
Im lucky that my little lad has plenty of cousins around and gets to see them at least once a month. They get on well for a while then always end up fighting... but isnt that what happens with all kids

I find routine helps with my little lad. He has his routine when he gets up, just silly things like the order that he does things (washing, dressing eating etc) he likes it to be the same.
The same thing in school. He starts by lining up with teh other kids, then he goes and leaves his bag and lunch in his class and heads off with his resource teacher. If she's not in he canbe put out for the day. He has his 30 minutes of one to one (treat time) with his SNA at the end of the day too. He collects tokens every day in school. The max is 5 tokens. He gets one for standing quietly and patiently in line, one for remembering to put his hand up in class before speaking etc etc. If he gets 3 in a day he gets to play a boardgame with his SNA (chess, ludo etc) if he gets 4 he can choose to play basketball or the likes and if he gets 5 he gets to go on the laptop in school!! HE loves this and it works really really well with him. I can tell straight away by how many tokens he got what kind of day he had.

Doesn't that just show the support differences in different schools!! I never got that kind of support even after suggesting it to the relevant teacher, and handing in guide books to help them understand what they were dealing with, but no they just don't care. You are very lucky to have that, it will be a huge benefit to your son.

martha30

hi mummy to two, from reading your posts, it seems that the father of your son doesn't really play a part in his life???(correct me if i am wrong)
does that make it harder for you?

i am a single mother to 3, their father plays no part in our lives anymore, i am jus starting the process of getting one of my sons diagnosed, he is 3 and a half yrs and is so wild, he cannot concentrate for a m inute without getting distracted, he constantly fights with his two sisters . i thought it was other things at the start but as time went on i just knew it was something.

anything you can tell me that can help would be appreciated? does all the sports he does work as in burn the energy?? i find my lad won't sleep unless i can bring him for a long walk in the evening (well he runs the whole way) which can be hard with two other children too....