Ever Worked In A Call Centre? Tell Your Funny Stories Here!

Pyr0

Berty wrote: »

In our call centre you generally had a 6 month barrier. If you brook through the barrier you were mentally scarred but strong enough to get through the misery. The rest just crumbled and quit.

Survival of the fitest my friend, survival of the fitest..

big b

On wireless & it's very slow today, so I haven't checked all the pages. So apologies if this one's been posted already....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj2oXMdZ4sk

veryangryman

Used to work nights in breakdown call centre alongside a relation to the McCaul twins..

One slow night, he was taking a call from a French woman who needed to get her car towed to Calais Ferry and onto Dover, but he couldnt find her details of cover in the system. She was furious naturally.

He name? Mrs Nobre. But he kept accidentally calling her NO-BRA in his midlands accent without noticing the irony

So eventually after 10 minutes of her ranting, he exclaims...

"IM SORRY MRS NO-BRA, I CANT HELP YOU IF YOUR NOT COVERED"

:pac:

Zangetsu

Lost of stories of customers being fools, fookin hilarious and making the day fly, thanks all!

Worked in a call center myself for about a year, I think I lost a chunk of my soul that I'm fairly sure I'll never get back. A lot of customers don't want your help they'd prefer to shout at ya but hey that's life!

I had some lady in the office ring me saying she had a virus and it was ****ing up her computer. So naturally I asked her to disconnect from the network by plugging out the yellow ethernet cable at the back and I would be out to her. She says "done!" So I popped out.

Had a look at the computer, she had plugged out the monitor, keyboard and mouse. Network cable was still plugged in, virus spread around the office and ****ed everything up for 2 weeks. w00ps!


Working on a helpdesk for a top up provider I got a call from some women screaming down the phone at me as soon as I answered, didn't even get a chance to say hello. She accused me (personnaly!) of connecting to her machine and ****ing it up so she would lose money. After about 5 mins of abuse I finally got a word in:

Me: "is the machine plugged in?"

Her: "Of course its ****ing plugged in you fool"

Me: "Please don't curse I'm trying to help now can you tell me whats on the screen"

Her: "**** off, I want my machine working NOWWWW!"

Me: "Thats no problem I'll do my best but if you curse at me again I'll have to disconnect your call. Now can you tell me whats on the screen."

Her: "NO I CAN'T THERES NOTHING THERE YOU ****ING IDIOT"

So as ya do when someone is being an unreasonalble nob, I asked her to ring back when she's calmed down a bit. She rang back on got through to a collegue who found out the machine had been plugged in and working the whole time, she just didn't have any customers to use it. :eek:


Its not always the customer that is the idiot, when I answered the phone I'd usually go:

"Hello <insert company name"

I'd sometimes forget what I was supposed to say and go blank not saying anything, one day I answered and went blank, customer went "Hello, anyone there?" I said "ehhhh hello? **** sorry hello <blah>, oh crap sorry ehhh" and hung up lol. Not one of my prouder moments!

KTRIC

When I worked in Gateway (many moons ago) we used to get this English Lord ringing who insisted on being called Sir .........

When I got him on the phone I'd always address him as Mr just to annoy him. He insisted on being called Sir but I told him I do not recognise the British monarchy and his title. He totally lost it and I just started humming the Soliders Song down the phone to him.

Ah, I miss Gateway support

Lockstep

KTRIC wrote: »

When I worked in Gateway (many moons ago) we used to get this English Lord ringing who insisted on being called Sir .........

When I got him on the phone I'd always address him as Mr just to annoy him. He insisted on being called Sir but I told him I do not recognise the British monarchy and his title. He totally lost it and I just started humming the Soliders Song down the phone to him.

Ah, I miss Gateway support

Did you post this story before?

I remember someone posting about how some British Lord accused them of treason for not using his title.

Sleipnir

A fella I worked with got a call from a customer saying his USB hard drive wasn't working.

Support: "Is there a light on the drive sir"?
Customer: "Let me check.....yes there is"

Poor guy went through an hour and twenty minutes of troubleshooting after which the customer asked if he should plug the drive in and connect it to the computer.

Exasperated tech: "but you said there was a light on the drive?"
"Customer: "well there is one, but it's not on"

He nearly quit that day.

KTRIC

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Did you post this story before?

I remember someone posting about how some British Lord accused them of treason for not using his title.

Quite possible. I do recall being accused of all sorts by this guy, treason was certainly on the list.

Professey Chin

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Did you post this story before?

I remember someone posting about how some British Lord accused them of treason for not using his title.

Youd also be amazed how many British Lords there are and how many of them are stuck up their own ass when ringing call centres

Benster

Worked in Australia years ago, in a very temporary job (I lasted a week before I left) selling life insurance. It was cold-calling, but from a list of selected bank customers.

Story 1:

I was based in Sydney. The customer was in Perth. It was the first call of the day and I got blasted out of it:

"Do you know what f ckin time it is?? I work nights and I only just got off to sleep, you bstard!"

(you sort of forget how big Oz is sometimes)


Story 2:

Me: Hi, <insert bank welcome speil here> Is Mr Smith there please?

Mrs Smith: No, he won't be back til tonight. He off shooting 'roos.

Me: Er...


Story 3:

Due to the multi-ethnic makeup of Oz, you could have got any of the nationalities as your target.

Me: Hi <speil>, can I speak to Mr <badly pronounced Oriental name> please?

Other end - person 1: (female voice) mutter, mutter, mutter, one momen preese.

Other end - person 2: (female voice) Hello?

Me: Hi, can I speak to Mr <badly pronounced Oriental name>?

Other end - person 2: Hang on, I get someone, mutter, mutter, lots of shouting, more shouting, long pause...

Other end - person 3: Hello?

Me: (the speil, again, ffs)

Other end - person 3: Oh, he's not here. Why do you want him, mister?

Me: And what age are you?

Other end - person 3: (very proudly) I'm five.

...christ.

poisonated

I work in a type of call centre placing people into jobs...anyway
Plenty of times I get phone calls saying people cant come to work because they have diarrhea... a bit too much information thanks!!:o

Puddleduck

poisonated wrote: »

I work in a type of call centre placing people into jobs...anyway
Plenty of times I get phone calls saying people cant come to work because they have diarrhea... a bit too much information thanks!!:o

What a load of sh!te

KTRIC

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Youd also be amazed how many British Lords there are and how many of them are stuck up their own ass when ringing call centres

I took it upon myself to take them down a peg or four

Snooty bastards :P

Boeyenk

Was working in the Netherlands for Philips (Sense and simplicity)

Customer rang...


Cx: My MP3 player doesnt work anymore

Me: Ok, what do you mean with doesnt work?

Cx: Does nothing, and as the thing is still in the warranty period I should get a new one.

Me: Ok, lets try some things first.

Did you try to reset the device?

Cx: Yeah

Did you try to soft reset the device

Cx: Yeah

Everything I suggested the customer "tried already" and he just wanted a new one. Anything I asked the customer said yeah. So I was getting annoyed when I caught him lying. I made up a button combination with buttons to press together that are not even on the bloody thing.

So at the end I went:

Did you try to open the device to have a look what could be wrong with the thing?

Cx: Yeah.

Me: OK , since you opened the device the warranty is voided and therefore I cannot do anything for you, have a nice day.

Customer started shouting down the phone to me that I should get a serious illness and all that ****e hahaha Then I had to use the 3 strike rule hahaha *release button*

Stheno

the_syco wrote: »

Aye, got that a lot. Also got a load of the f**kers telling me they were a doctor... as if it somehow made a difference. They were ringing me cos their animal had pissed on the laptop

Ah the memories, used to do tech support for American customers years ago. the feckin doctors always thought they were god's gift.

I'd a colleague who had some weird karma thing going on and got all sorts of fruitcakes getting through to him. Anyway he did laptop support, and had some bloke ring in that his keyboard wasn't working. All sorts of checks ensued, and the bloke excused himself for some reason.

Colleague is sitting there waiting for the customer to come back, when a woman comes on the line, identifies herself as his girlfriend, and informs colleague that the reason the laptop isn't working is because they had a row the night before and she peed on the laptop in revenge.

Berty

poisonated wrote: »

I work in a type of call centre placing people into jobs...anyway
Plenty of times I get phone calls saying people cant come to work because they have diarrhea... a bit too much information thanks!!:o

Ah but you see if you are anywhere near food then you cannot work if you have diarrhea. Its an odd rule but employers assume you dont wash your hands very often and having such a fluid ilness(couldnt think of anything else) then you are banned from work.

Berty

The data protection act is the oddest think for people to get their heads around.

Somebody rings up about something financial about their husband/wife and you wont speak to them and ask for them to put their OH on so you can get verbal persmission to speak this time only.

There is always clattering a bit and then the same person comes back on with a different accent. 9/10 you are correct and you catch them out but there is always that other time when you think they are trying to catch you out but in fact their husband sounds like a 4 year old girl. :mad:

Gordon

KTRIC wrote: »

When I worked in Gateway (many moons ago) we used to get this English Lord ringing who insisted on being called Sir .........

When I got him on the phone I'd always address him as Mr just to annoy him. He insisted on being called Sir but I told him I do not recognise the British monarchy and his title. He totally lost it and I just started humming the Soliders Song down the phone to him.

Tbh, if your call was recorded and he made a complaint you would be in trouble, not calling him Sir when he requested it is not professional. It doesn't matter if you don't recognise the authority, it's about customer service.

Oh wait, you were techiedesk, never mind :pac:

Berty

I was annoyed a few years back going to work in a call centre because Bus Eireann crashed the bus and then tried to charge us when the new one turned up.

I called their customer service in the depot and some as*wipe answered the phone. I asked him do the cleaners normally walk around randomly answering the phones. Thats piss*d him off good.

useful_contacts

Berty wrote: »

Ah but you see if you are anywhere near food then you cannot work if you have diarrhea. Its an odd rule but employers assume you dont wash your hands very often and having such a fluid ilness(couldnt think of anything else) then you are banned from work.

Id food poisioning before when i worked in a catering company and my boss ate me on the phone when i called in sick cos of it

Nice to know he doesnt care if people get the runs and handle food

steo87

useful_contacts wrote: »

Id food poisioning before when i worked in a catering company and my boss ate me on the phone when i called in sick cos of it

Nice to know he doesnt care if people get the runs and handle food

Hold on...you're a girl and you got the runs?!....what's the world coming to

thefinalstage

useful_contacts wrote: »

my boss ate me on the phone

How did he do that? Pics?

Mr Benevolent

The an unwritten rule for working in callcentres - stop working there as soon as possible.

Took me 10 years to figure that one out. Worst places to work in the world, although my final callcentre job was for the Revenue. That was fun, until they made us redundant.

Am now in insurance. Much more interesting and far less stressful, even if the money's sh1te.

steo87

thelastangryman wrote: »

How did he do that? Pics?

With mind bullets