Rocky 'Ums

rocky25

I've got my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting tomorrow.

I rang them today to check the time.

It's at fookin ten to one.

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I nearly bought an origami belt the other day.

But then I realised it would just be a waist of paper.

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I've recently took up a rather unusual hobby.

I travel all over the country collecting blotting paper.

Everyone says I'm mad, but I find it very absorbing.

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Every morning when I put my clothes on, I shout things like..

These fookin jeans are too tight!

All my bloody socks have got holes in them!

For fooks sake, where the hell did I put my jacket.

I'm beginning to worry that I'm a cross dresser.

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I spent 14 hours designing a belt from old stopwatches.

Then realised it was just a waist of time...

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What Men Really Mean

Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass

I'm a Romantic = I'm poor

I need you" = My hand is tired

I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised

I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation

You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me

I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it

It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head

She's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue

I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me

I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good

Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood

How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small

I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you

Do you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out

Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later

How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now

I have something to tell you = Get tested

I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again

I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk

I think we should just be friends = You're ugly

I've learned a lot from you = Next

rocky25

Just rang dominos pizza and ordered a thin and crusty supreme.....bloody Diana Ross turned up.

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what do you call a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman on top of a woman

a block of flaps

Capt'n Midnight

SKY are hosting the world origami championships. It's a pay per view event.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

SKY are hosting the world origami championships. It's a pay per view event.

Origami... isn't that when you kill youself deliveratly by crashing a paper plane...?

PS - Welcome back Rocky! Long time no see...