Sexy? Teddies or Bare?

Black Swan

What makes you feel most sexy when being intimate with a man, wearing a teddie, other types of lingerie, or bare?

Was watching a "Sex and the City" rerun after midnight and part of their skit was on picking sexy apparel. But this raised a larger issue than specialty clothes (or the lack thereof). When in the mood, do special types of clothes make a difference? To you? To him?

I was laughing at the teddie that was displayed in the soap. What a complete turn-off! But later the actress was in a shoot wearing a beautiful cocktail dress with a low neckline and a high hem that displayed quite a bit of leg, and she looked beautiful and sexy.

Sometime in the past I was with a lad who had taken off his casual business attire button down powder blue shirt, and when he saw me wearing it, he attacked me in a very friendly sort of way!

Or do clothes really make a difference to you? What about giving him that LOOK? Or talking the TALK? Or walking the WALK, no matter what you wear?

Lads who frequent LL may comment, cause we might be interested in what you think too.:cool:

Dragan

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Lads who frequent LL may comment to, cause we might be interested in what you think too.:cool:

Like you had a choice.

Personally, when i find a girl attractive i find her attractive no matter what. When i say "you'd look good in a bin bag" i don't mean i want to kill her and chop her up, i mean she genuinely would look good in a bin bag.

However, that is the basic level of attraction and that can be played with and teased by the proper attire. I remember the first date myself and my girlfriend ever went on, I met her in town and when i saw here i didn't know whether to fall over on the spot or pin her to the wall there and then, she completely blew me away.

The simple fact of the matter is though, it's not what she is wearing, well, not for me, but HOW she is wearing it but most of all,just the fact that it's her.

Soppy, right?

Wibbs

I'm with Dragan on this one. Lingerie does little or nothing for me tbh. If the woman is comfortable in it and it makes her feel sexy the yes, but beyond that no. TBH bare does it for me. Skirts too I must admit.

here.from.day.1

Lingerie is always good.. as my grandad used to say, more of the time women are sexier when they are dressed (albeit in very little) than not! (He said this in reference to something about the nudes in playboy or something..)

Terodil

here.from.day.1 wrote: »

Lingerie is always good.. as my grandad used to say, more of the time women are sexier when they are dressed (albeit in very little) than not! (He said this in reference to something about the nudes in playboy or something..)

+1.

How my french teacher used to phrase it: 'A bra hides to show off better'. It's only degrees we are talking about, of course, but there is a diff between finding somebody very sexy and jumping her with desire. And tbh some things can be counterproductive too (e.g. long fluffy housecoats and fluffy pink slippers )

Tupins

On a day to day basis I normally try to look smart casual, jeans, nice top etc but my husband loves when I wear what I call my 'hanging around the house' clothes i.e. tracksuit end and baggy jumper even though I think I look awful.

Maybe he's just weird

Dragan

Tupins wrote: »

On a day to day basis I normally try to look smart casual, jeans, nice top etc but my husband loves when I wear what I call my 'hanging around the house' clothes i.e. tracksuit end and baggy jumper even though I think I look awful.

Maybe he's just weird

Not at all, i love that too. It's because those clothes are always really comfortable, and have been with you for a while and are something you are used to wearing. As such, the fact that you are willing to wear them around your husband lets him know that you are comfortable in his presence and can just be your relaxed happy self with him that you are when he is not around.

Basically, he see's it as a sign that you are happy and comfortable in his company and can just be yourself.

Possibly.:)

Red Hand

Dragan wrote: »

Like you had a choice.

Personally, when i find a girl attractive i find her attractive no matter what. When i say "you'd look good in a bin bag" i don't mean i want to kill her and chop her up, i mean she genuinely would look good in a bin bag.

However, that is the basic level of attraction and that can be played with and teased by the proper attire. I remember the first date myself and my girlfriend ever went on, I met her in town and when i saw here i didn't know whether to fall over on the spot or pin her to the wall there and then, she completely blew me away.

The simple fact of the matter is though, it's not what she is wearing, well, not for me, but HOW she is wearing it but most of all,just the fact that it's her.

Soppy, right?

Would have to agree with that.

In the above examples Blue gave, just the right girl wearing an over sized Tshirt or work shirt could blow everything in a lingerie shop out the window.

justsomebloke

the other thing to remember is that what he may find sexy may not be what you find sexy, so wearing something to "please" him may turn you off at the same time, and vice versa if you pick something you find sexy he could be left with a puzzled look going WTF

John Mason

Is it just me or does anyone else get the impression this thread is full of men sitting alone, at home going "gonna tell me what you wear in bed, you dity little minx"

seriously though do any women post here anymore?

Dragan

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

Is it just me or does anyone else get the impression this thread is full of men sitting alone, at home going "gonna tell me what you wear in bed, you dity little minx"

I'm in work but am quite lucky in that i have one of those wrap around desks which gives great crotch coverage for a quick touch.

Acacia

Tupins wrote: »

On a day to day basis I normally try to look smart casual, jeans, nice top etc but my husband loves when I wear what I call my 'hanging around the house' clothes i.e. tracksuit end and baggy jumper even though I think I look awful.

Maybe he's just weird

Same here. :pac: I don't get it- one time, I was in bed, sick with the flu. I was wearing an over-sized band t-shirt and pj bottoms. I thought I looked like crap. Imagine my surprise when my bf came in, exclaimed, "Wow, you look so hot right now!" and practically jumped on me!

I was like, "WTF?". It did make me feel better though.

Vegeta

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

Is it just me or does anyone else get the impression this thread is full of men sitting alone, at home going "gonna tell me what you wear in bed, you dity little minx"

seriously though do any women post here anymore?

I was going to comment on how I thought anything which made a woman feel more confident is always good. Lady with nice arms in a sleeveless top, nice legs in a figure hugging skirt etc etc as I believe confidence is much sexier than any single piece of clothing.

But now I feel like a dirty perv for even posting :pac:

Kya1976

so what you're telling us is to cancel all ann summers parties and spend our money on drink and gambling instead?:P

shellyboo

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

Is it just me or does anyone else get the impression this thread is full of men sitting alone, at home going "gonna tell me what you wear in bed, you dity little minx"

Just you

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

seriously though do any women post here anymore?

Nope.

I enjoy dressing up for a guy, but I have been with a few who weren't into it. To be honest, even when I do dress up it's mostly for play, as I prefer to be naked for sex

Snowie

for me sugestively dressed can be very hot...

petes

That **** me look regardless of attire always gets me!

Nevyn

Insurgent wrote: »

That **** me look regardless of attire always gets me!

or the "I wanna **** you" look and then usually the next thing you know your both naked, if your lucky.

Knee-Vee

Big T-Shirts! I love big t-shirts!

Piste

I feel most comfortable in a mangey old hoody and baggy tracksuit bottoms, but I never venture out of the house in them (Ok I did this one time, thinking I wouldn't run into anyone, ran into tSubh Dearg and s&mbarbie at the loacal supermarket >.<). Comfortable does not always equal sexy

Like my pyajamas for instance, I wear them as often as possible, they're fleecey, sky blue and covered in ladybirds, and about two sizes too big. Couldn't be less sexy, in fact they make me look more like a 6 year old than anything.

Joey the lips

Hi Ladies, Sorry I am reading this thread. Seems you think I am a perv but strictly speaking I am doing research.

What I love: As a man I love a women in sexy underware. Any colour but usual seasons eg: Red at christmas, white at weddings, Black on nights out.

I buy a lot of underware for my wife but I think I am buying it for myself more so. This is where I get stuck, what do us man need to do for you? What I mean by that is do I go out do a hard days work and fall in the door sweating and say "Baby I want you on the table" or do I consider the fact that my wife has been working hard all day and when she comes in run a hot bath, do the diner put the kids to bed and then say "Right baby where do you want me".

I think you get my jist. My wife makes me mad for her what do I do to make her mad for me! (Besides being brad pitt) I would love a few sugggestions ( Lads P1ss off)

coffee_cake

Terodil wrote: »

+1.

How my french teacher used to phrase it: 'A bra hides to show off better'. It's only degrees we are talking about, of course, but there is a diff between finding somebody very sexy and jumping her with desire. And tbh some things can be counterproductive too (e.g. long fluffy housecoats and fluffy pink slippers )

Sod off, it's comfortable. Really comfortable.

Terodil

bluewolf wrote: »

Sod off, it's comfortable. Really comfortable.

The question was "Sexy? [...]" not "Comfortable? [...]"

Though I'll happily admit that a lot of other factors also contribute to the degree of sexiness. I already mentioned the natural hotness, clothes are the point in question, and specific looks/behaviour have been mentioned here too and I agree. Mutual desire is probably the most powerful aphrodisiac

t-ha

Unbelievable responses here. The actual answer obviously is 'yes'! Wear all that sexy stuff and then work it!

Also, pics or GTFO.

Piste

Piste wrote: »

(Ok I did this one time, thinking I wouldn't run into anyone, ran into tSubh Dearg and s&mbarbie at the loacal supermarket >.<)

GirlInterrupted

Nothing feels nicer against your skin, than the skin of someone you love.

The Sweeper

Joey the lips wrote: »

I buy a lot of underware for my wife but I think I am buying it for myself more so. This is where I get stuck, what do us man need to do for you? What I mean by that is do I go out do a hard days work and fall in the door sweating and say "Baby I want you on the table" or do I consider the fact that my wife has been working hard all day and when she comes in run a hot bath, do the diner put the kids to bed and then say "Right baby where do you want me".

This is a far more complicated question than deserves service on an underwear thread, but I'll give it a shot.

Sex for men is about what's happening right now. Sex for women is about what happened all day. Generally, in a relationship, women need to feel valued, attractive, wanted and respected in order to want to have sex with their partner. Men generally need to feel horny. That's not to say men don't appreciate sex with emotional attachment, but it's not as much of a deal-breaker for them as it is for women.

Interestingly, women also need to respect their bloke to be attracted to him. If she feels like you're letting her down, she'll be less interested in you in the sack. This is where it gets REALLY complicated. It depends on a lot of things that have influenced her internal hard-wiring - parental attitudes, the culture she was raised in, how she feels about herself.

Some women, if they are hard-wired to want a really blokey bloke, would just love you to come home and be commanding and forceful, display uncontrollable (yet respectful) lust for her, hand the kids a new toy, order them outside to play and lead her upstairs. Other women, if they're hard-wired to want a renaissance man who talks about his feelings, would looking at you thinking "What? You have to be kidding! I've just made dinner for them! It'll go cold!" and would far prefer the 'I'll do the bath and the kids and the dinner, honey, you go relax and read a book and drink a glass of this nice [whatever] that I brought home with me', and you'd return, post-daddy-duties, to find her loving and appreciative.

Want to be even more confused? The above can be the same woman on two different days.

To bring the thread back to the original subject matter of what's sexy on a woman, buying lingerie can be a minefield. Think of it this way: handing someone something that you want them to wear says "This is what I want you to be for me". Then they open the box, and the reaction to its contents depends entirely on the woman. If you know your missus is up tight, freaks out about porn, has esteem issues and is wound up about sex, don't buy her split crotch panties and a peep hole bra, because she doesn't want to see herself as the person that outfit suggests, and she'll be offended that you do want to see her as that person.

Joey the lips

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

This is a far more complicated question than deserves service on an underwear thread, but I'll give it a shot.

Sex for men is about what's happening right now. Sex for women is about what happened all day. Generally, in a relationship, women need to feel valued, attractive, wanted and respected in order to want to have sex with their partner. Men generally need to feel horny. That's not to say men don't appreciate sex with emotional attachment, but it's not as much of a deal-breaker for them as it is for women.

Interestingly, women also need to respect their bloke to be attracted to him. If she feels like you're letting her down, she'll be less interested in you in the sack. This is where it gets REALLY complicated. It depends on a lot of things that have influenced her internal hard-wiring - parental attitudes, the culture she was raised in, how she feels about herself.

Some women, if they are hard-wired to want a really blokey bloke, would just love you to come home and be commanding and forceful, display uncontrollable (yet respectful) lust for her, hand the kids a new toy, order them outside to play and lead her upstairs. Other women, if they're hard-wired to want a renaissance man who talks about his feelings, would looking at you thinking "What? You have to be kidding! I've just made dinner for them! It'll go cold!" and would far prefer the 'I'll do the bath and the kids and the dinner, honey, you go relax and read a book and drink a glass of this nice [whatever] that I brought home with me', and you'd return, post-daddy-duties, to find her loving and appreciative.

Want to be even more confused? The above can be the same woman on two different days.

To bring the thread back to the original subject matter of what's sexy on a woman, buying lingerie can be a minefield. Think of it this way: handing someone something that you want them to wear says "This is what I want you to be for me". Then they open the box, and the reaction to its contents depends entirely on the woman. If you know your missus is up tight, freaks out about porn, has esteem issues and is wound up about sex, don't buy her split crotch panties and a peep hole bra, because she doesn't want to see herself as the person that outfit suggests, and she'll be offended that you do want to see her as that person.

This makes perfect sense and yes my wife is both but the funny thing is she does not want me to realise this but yet at the same time realise it. In otherwords she wants me to tear her apart like an animal but softly and ask no questions just accept that she might not want it certain ways (and no I dont mean perverted ways I mean emotions)

Any more comments I would appreciate

Nevyn

http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2009/02/16/not-tonight-honey-and-who-knows-why

Not Tonight, Honey, And Who Knows Why?
Amanda Marcotte on February 17, 2009

Another Valentine's Day, another round of features on sex and love, and another bout of studiously ignoring the role sexism might play in diminishing women's sexual desire. Consumer Reports published a sex poll, and once again women's on-average lower sexual desire is treated as an unfortunate but largely inexplicable phenomenon. In this, they stuck to the mainstream media trend of talking about women's desire--the lack of it, really--without addressing any social causes for why that might occur. Most media outlets treat women's desire as a free-standing, unchangeable misfortune brought on by fate or biology, but certainly not worth exploring in depth.

Journalists refuse to explore polling data demonstrating a reported gap in men and women's sexual desires for the same reason people refuse to really tackle the issue in their own relationships. Even in the polling data citing the top six reasons people don't feel desire, two of the reasons given, constituting 59% of respondents, were just a restatement of the problem, and not really a reason. (Forty percent of respondents said they just weren't in the mood, and 19% were too busy watching TV, which is a polite way of saying they aren't in the mood, since people in the mood use Tivo.) But really addressing the reason men and women feel this gap in desire means asking hard questions about how our society treats men and women differently, and doing that means signing up for defensive responses. No wonder journalists writing pieces on the issue avoid the question strenuously.

The New York Times Magazine recently devoted a lengthy feature story to the "mystery" of what women want, a feature that at least took the step forward of involving women in the answer to the question, when tradition dictates that men ask each other this question and continue to be baffled that they can't come up with the answer. ("Mad Men" took on the issue humorously, portraying a roomful of bright men who can't figure out how to find out what women want, with not a single one coming up with, "Let's ask them," as a solution.) But despite going on for several pages on the issue, Daniel Bergner managed to avoid even entertaining the notion the our sexist society turns women off, preferring instead to dwell on portraying women as inherently perverse, narcissistic, and even masochistic. After all, the weirder women seem, the easier it is to shrug off the responsibility of really understanding women, since it seems like an impossible task.

Ignoring the differences in how men and women's sexualities are regarded in our society is an interesting omission, considering how obvious and pervasive these differences are. And by "interesting," I mean, "somewhere between annoying and offensive." The double standard between straight men and women hasn't gone anywhere, but in fact has barely been eroded by an intensive, multi-decade onslaught from feminists. It's still women who are instructed to worry about their "number" being too high. It's still women who have to hear that having prior sexual experience makes us legitimate targets to rape. The words "whore" and "slut" describe women, not men. Sexual mores have loosened somewhat, but we still live in a world where Good Girls Don't.

To add to it, sexual desire in our culture is almost solely contextualized as something straight males have and not anyone else. Images of nubile (presumably straight) women with no clothes on still signify "sex" in our culture. Half-dressed women greet straight men everywhere they turn with beckoning smiles and lidded eyes, titillating men and inspiring men to think about sex constantly. Straight women don't get near the provocation on a daily basis--is it any wonder that 60% of the men who answered the Consumer Reports survey thought about sex once a day, but only 19% of women?

Add to that the well-known housework and child care gap. A recent Parenting Magazine survey found a lot of women suffer a great deal of resentment towards their male partners, who they view as refusing to take on their fair share of child care and housework responsibilities. Add it all together--the stigma against desire, the overwork, the feeling of being underappreciated, and the lack of provocation--and the mystery is not that women watch their libidos sink under the waters, but why anyone wants to chalk this up to inherent biological sex differences first.

Not that having a low libido necessarily means trouble for the woman supposedly suffering from it. Only 12% of the women diagnosed with sexual dysfunction like low libido were bothered by it, which makes you wonder how they were defined as having a problem in the first place. (Short answer: because men decide what's a problem in our culture.) This study surprised a lot of people, but it shouldn't have. When you live in a culture where Good Girls Don't, sexual desire is rarely experienced as an unalloyed good, but often brings fears of moral turpitude for women, and they may feel relieved to have desire abate. That, and less sex, means more time for housework and paid employment, not insignificant issues in our economic times. Considering how many women suffer body image issues, too, it's probably a relief not to feel like you have to get naked and expose yourself to judgment for many women.

It's an indicator of how male-dominated our society is that the fact that women have diminishing libidos and don't seem to care that much about it is treated as the problem, when in fact it's merely the symptom of a larger problem--that women feel overworked, underpaid, underappreciated, understimulated, and shamed about their bodies. If we treated the actual problems that women face, higher libidos would be the happy result, I'm sure. But in order to do that, we'd have to treat male domination like a problem to be solved, and since few people really want to do that, instead we're left with articles that note women's lack of libido, but carefully resist asking why.

Stheno

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Nothing feels nicer against your skin, than the skin of someone you love.

+1

Personally though I do love nice underwear and it can be fun and sexy wearing it.

Terodil

Thaedydal wrote: »

Sorry, but that article made me sick. While the author may make some valid points, she ruins it entirely by falling into the other extreme of attributing all the problems that may exist between man and woman to the male chauvinists' iron boots pressing down on poor women's necks.

I thought we were long past such overly simplistic mindsets.