Mom or Not

G&T

Just wondering how many people post
on this site who are not parent's or trying to become parent's.

Why?

Could ye go hang out in after hours
or the ladies lounge and leave the parenting
site to the parent's.

Melion

Im not a parent yet, am i still allowed post?

G&T

Wanted to post in parenting,
yes if your pregnant then of course you can post:D

Just came to my attention during the week
that alot of people who were neither trying to concieve,
pregnant or parent's are offering advice on this board.

And I don't know what that is about,
I come on this site to chat with people
who are in similar circumstances to myself.

Sorry if I offended you,
good luck with your pregnancy.

kizzyr

I have no kids and come into this forum, well parenting in general, for a few different reasons. One is to try to get a better understanding of the issues that face parents at different stages of their child's life. This allows me to better understand the things my sisters (both of whom have 3 children each) and their husbands are going through. Sometimes I post too, this may be to ask questions e.g. there was a recent thread about taking Vitamins during pregnancy and apparently some are to be avoided. I'd never heard of this before and posted to ask why. Other times I may post in a genuine bid to try to help someone out. Is this so wrong?

Oryx

G&T, I think youre being really unfair. Does that mean I cant post in fitness till Im fit? Or in Humanities till Im a nice person? Of course non parents can post here. Heck some of them will be some day, and for those that wont, they might have a better understanding of kids and not tut next time they see a 3yo running wild in the supermarket (with harrassed mammy in tow).

Jimdagym

Disgraceful, insulting and completely close-minded post. I am a father of 1 and a half kids. Just stumbled on this particular board for this first time, and the first post i read is the op. You need to cop on to yourself G&T. The north county dublin forum is for people with an interest in the area, not exclusively people from it. Likewise, this is a discussion board for people to talk about parenting and parenting related issues. If you want to sit around and gossip with other parents, i suggest you either start your own website, or form a knitting circle.


I Apologise if the tone i used upset anyone's sensibilities. If any ban is deemed appropriate, i accept that with absolutely no complaint.

holly1

G&T wrote: »

Just wondering how many people post
on this site who are not parent's or trying to become parent's.

Why?

Could ye go hang out in after hours
or the ladies lounge and leave the parenting
site to the parent's.

Does this garbage go for Grandparents also,I am a mother still

holly1

Are you American G&T,(going by the Mom and not Mam or Mum),people in Ireland cant help giving each other little bits of advice and experiance.Lighten up.

templetonpeck

I think I know what the OP is getting at. I've seen some posts in here offering advice from peeps who really haven't any experience in the situation. Though you could say us first timers haven't a clue either

Of course a forum is free for anyone to interact with, but the proffering of advice should be given by some with at least some experience....I wouldn't take 'keep fit' advice from a couch potato.

G&T

All Im trying to say is if your well meaning
but unexperienced on the topic then could
you say so in your reply,
There are 100's of parenting book's out there
but the advice from other parent's/grandparent's
is second to none.

Thank's templetonpeck.

Jim im on this forum because im pregnant,
like your partner,would you like someone
to use that tone with her........
way ott and out of line mod's

kizzyr

G&T wrote: »

All Im trying to say is if your well meaning
but unexperienced on the topic then could
you say so in your reply,
There are 100's of parenting book's out there
but the advice from other parent's/grandparent's
is second to none.

Thank's templetonpeck.

Jim im on this forum because im pregnant,
like your partner,would you like someone
to use that tone with her........
way ott and out of line mod's

Jim possibly felt that you were a little OTT and out of line with your OP........and I say that as someone who is not and never has been pregnant.:)

Toots

I think that's a pretty hurtful comment to make tbh. There are people who would have a lot of experience with kids but who might not necessarily be parents yet, or be trying yet.

I post in this forum (the main parenting forum mostly) from time to time and I'm not a parent, nor do I intend to be for another 5 yrs or so. I've got experience with kids, and if someone comes on looking for advice and I can offer them help, I don't think my childless status should prevent me from doing so.

I don't think being a parent automatically makes you an expert on child rearing either. Unfortunately, there's a lot of really sh!tty parents out there too.

Jimdagym

G&T wrote: »

All Im trying to say is if your well meaning
but unexperienced on the topic then could
you say so in your reply,
There are 100's of parenting book's out there
but the advice from other parent's/grandparent's
is second to none.

Thank's templetonpeck.

Jim im on this forum because im pregnant,
like your partner,would you like someone
to use that tone with her........
way ott and out of line mod's

By all means report my post and i have already accepted fallout, but if my wife was to be as hurtful and insensitive as you were in your opening post, i would call her on it exactly the same.

livvy

i am a mom and post here. If good solid advice is given i will take it regardless of whether the provider has children.

Dinkie

I am reading this thread with a paediatric nursing friend of mine, who is neither a parent nor trying to be. I'm assuming she doesn't have enough experience for you either. :mad:

I'm not a parent either (although I've never posted to now), but often read this forum as I'm around kids, including some with Down Syndrome, a lot and get advice here.

I'm with Jim and feel free to report me also... I think it is a very narrow minded opinion.

Are non-parents limited to TLL and after hours? Are we not allowed any where else?

*Stomps off to calm down*

Nevyn

Right I am only getting to see this thread now and I am shocked none of these posts were reported.


G&T the charter of this forum clearly points out that it is for anyone who is involved
with children and wishes to contribute, it is not restricted to just
those who are parents.

charter wrote:

This forums is for those who are invovled with rearing and parenting children,
parents, grand parents, extended family ect.

If you have a problem with people's posts here report them.
If you have an issue with the forum or aspects of it either raise it with the mods via
pm or you may choose to give your feedback in the feedback forum.

I will not have a poster throwing thier weight around and kicking up a fuss and
there for rubbishing the community which has grown up and around the parenting
forum and sub forum.

I had to fight hard and long to get a parenting forum created here in the first place.
The parenting forum is part of the larger site as a whole and we do not restrict posters
due to them having children or not, if they wish to post in this forum.

If you are not happy with this then I suggest you try other sites which are exclusively
for parents and parents to be.

Your's very annoyed and cranky
Thaedydal.

embee

I second what Thaed has said here.

G&T, if you are so personally offended by the fact that some people posting here aren't parents, then you should really be using an exclusive parenting site.

This is a tiny sub forum of the largest message board in Ireland. Boards.ie was never set up as a parenting website, but as it's evolved, a place for a Parenting slot was found to be necessary. The people here are a goldmine of information, support and advice and for you to come here and poo-poo their input.. well, it's a touch insulting.

I'm a parent of a 3 year old girl. Does this mean that I should only post in threads about toddlers, about girls? Should I keep my nose out of threads regarding teenagers, parenting boys etc?

Some of the best advice I ever received from boards was from Thaedydal, when I was pregnant, regarding breastfeeding. I wasn't visiting the Parenting forum then (I didn't know it existed) but since I've had my daughter, I've found it invaluable.

The "Pregnant" and "Trying To Conceive" sub-fora are relatively new here and they reflect the changing dynamics of people who are posting on boards. I started posting here when I was 21, not even thinking of children until I was after 30. Now, I'm 28 with one child and hopefully I'll have more. If I decide to read the TTC forums now (when I'm not actively TTC) am I doing something wrong? People who miscarry should only read the threads about miscarriage? People who've had twins should only post about experiences with twins? That sort of attitude is a nonsense and only creates friction where there doesn't need to be any. I've not had a miscarriage (that I'm aware of), I haven't had twins, but I know of people who have, and in that regard I can offer advice and tips. Sure, I might not know FULLY what it is to parent twins, endure a miscarriage, but hell... nothing wrong with a little bit of empathy and understanding!

No one is the perfect parent, we all make mistakes. It's the hardest job in the world and people rarely get any thanks or recognition for it. It would be nice if people (looking directly at you here, G&T) posting to Parenting/Pregnant/Trying To Conceive were supportive and non-judgemental to the other users.

If however, you feel you can't be, I politely suggest you don't post.

templetonpeck

wow this thread certainly rattled a few cages :eek:

I didn't see anything offensive in what the OP said....I thought it was a fair comment? I certainly don't see what posts would warrant reporting, but perhaps I haven't read it all properly

No-one's the perfect parent with all the answers, likewise not everyone's experiences are the same so one parent wouldn't have a clue of something some one else is seeking advice on. But I do see the point the OP is trying to make.

Salome

I'm not a parent yet but one day I might be - this forum is handy so I can get an understanding about what I might be letting myself in for!!!

amdublin

Salome wrote: »

I'm not a parent yet but one day I might be - this forum is handy so I can get an understanding about what I might be letting myself in for!!!

Ditto the above.

Plus I would have thought that any open minded person would welcome opinions from a diverse range of people. That is one of the reason why I post on boards.

Crea

I think people reactions here are way OTT.

Before I had kids I had alot of experience with children as I had worked as a nanny, had lots of nieces and nephews and worked for a few months in a montessori. I would wonder at how people dealt with their children and be thinking in my head of how they should do it another way.But let me tell you NOTHING prepared me for the feelings and emotions that come with being a parent. In all honesty I hadn't a clue how dealing with your own children 24 hours a day 7 days a week changes the way you deal with things.
Frankly if someone who had never parented gave me parenting advice i'd be thinking "Thanks-call me when you have a clue". Fine if your a health professional giving health advice or a behaviour specialist giving behaviour advice or a teacher giving education advice etc.
I in no way see how the poster was rubbishing the site. Other posters saying that you can only post on the sites that apply to you now is frankly ridiculous eg; if you have TTC in the past then you can give advice on TTC eventhough you aren't now.
I think if you're going to give advice you need to have experience of what your advising on.

templetonpeck

I agree with you Crea, I really don't understand the overaction to what the OP said.

If someone went in giving advice in the motor forum about something they had no experience in, they wouldn't last five seconds I certainly won't be taking childbirth advice from anyone other than the professionals treating me, and those who have been there

aoibhebree

Right ... but you'll trust the advice of randomers who post here claiming to have kids etc, when you don't know the slightest thing about their lives or backgrounds? I mean, even if a poster has ten kids, it doesn't guarantee that they have good parenting skills!!

Good advice is good advice, regardless of whether the poster has their own kids or not.

While I am not yet a mother, I have a hell of a lot of experience with children; if I felt this might help a fellow poster, I would share my own experiences. I would not however necessarily expect the poster to necessarily pay any heed to my advice; people should use their own discretion when taking on board advice that they receive on a discussion board from non-professionals.

holly1

ladies,everyone who has been born knowes a little about something,so I think ,everyone has a little knowledge to give.We were all babies,children,teenagers and then adults,so are we not all a little knowledgeable about life.

John Mason

G&T wrote: »

Just wondering how many people post
on this site who are not parent's or trying to become parent's.

Why?

Could ye go hang out in after hours
or the ladies lounge and leave the parenting
site to the parent's.

maybe you could try mumstown.ie or rollercoaster.ie instead

G&T

Ok,

I made my point,
it is accepted by some and not by others.


I babysat all through my teen's,
worked with kid's with down's syndrome,
my niece had a hair lip,my friend's baby has a heart condition,
my sister in law just had a miss,

I could go on,but I would not feel right or qualified
to give advice to parent's dealing with any of these issue's.
If I did comment I would specify that I was not experienced
directly but X,Y or Z worked for my friend/family.

I feel I made a valid point,and I do feel im not in
the wrong for feeling this way.
I will use my best judgement when it comes
to offering advice to people on this forum,
parenting is not a hobby/past-time
for me.

aoibhebree

G&T wrote: »

my niece had a hair lip

Poor thing ... has she tried Immac?

MJOR

I am not a mom but pop in and out on occasion. Goodness G & T you can't stop freedom of speech! Everyone like to have a good moan now and again! Live and let live! Just because you are pregnant or have babysat a lot or have experience with special needs kids doesn't qualify you anymore than me. It's an arrogant statemant to make. I am the youngest in my family and have buckets of nephews and nieces, can change a nappy on one knee. Do I claim to be fab? No just happy to comment or post when I want

Toots

G&T wrote: »

I will use my best judgement when it comes
to offering advice to people on this forum,
parenting is not a hobby/past-time
for me.

I don't think it's a hobby for the majority of other people here either. Most users of this forum are upfront about whether or not they're parents or if they've had experience in other ways. Besides, unless you know some of the posters here personally, there's no way to be sure they actually have kids at all! I could come on here claiming to be a mother of 7, with twins on the way and nobody would ever know if I was lying or not.

VeryBerry

G&T wrote: »

Ok,

I will use my best judgement when it comes
to offering advice to people on this forum,

Just as those to whom you offer advice will use their best judgement on whether to follow your advice or not. Just as you can chose to ignore or listen to any offered advice from other posters. Giving advice is like giving an opinion - anyone is entitled to give it, its up to you to decide what to do with it. Posting on a public forum means exactly that - its public, anyone is entitled to respond. Just because you don't think someone who isn't a parent can't offer advice on a particular child-rearing situation, doesn't mean that person shouldn't be allowed give that advice.

Anway, not being a parent doesn't excluded someone from giving very good child rearing advice, and equally, being a parent doesn't protect you from giving inappropriate or bad advice.

I'm not a parent (yet! 16 weeks to go!), but I've helped raise 4 younger siblings, and I work in child development. Over the years I have often been asked by friends and relatives for all types of parenting advice, from bottle-feeding, to potty training, to dealing with tantrums (toddlers and teenagers). Should I have told people that I couldn't offer them any advice becaue I wasn't a parent?

nesf

You can't be sure of someone's gender online never mind whether or not they've experience of parenting. It's pointless to try and close this forum off to non-parents because we can't say for certain whether or not people have kids. I'd personally take issue with the title since it seems to infer that it's only the moms that should be here.

I'm moving this to parenting since it belongs there really.