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How far would you go to get your hole?

13

Comments

  • #62
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    midlandsmissus wrote: »
    Seriously abigayle, you're laughing at a woman getting beaten up?

    It's after Hours, ie: not serious.


  • #63
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    Galvasean wrote: »
    It's after Hours, ie: not serious.

    Even after hours is on the internets


  • #64
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    SoWatchaWant wrote: »
    This happened a couple weeks ago, and I thought it went pretty well, considering how hair-brained the scheme was.

    I met a German girl on a Friday, and we got on really well. We met again Saturday afternoon and we spent the day together, and she went out with her mates for the Saturday night, while I was with mine. She texted me up near closing time and said,

    "Hey Sowatchawant, is there any room in your house?"

    Awesome. It's her last night here in Dublin, and I'm in with a sure thing, more or less. Only problem is, I live with my parents, and they wouldn't stand for that sort of thing with a girl they don't know in their house. But I didn't let that stop me!

    So, I left my mates with a cunning plan. I brought her home and walked in the door with her. My parents were in bed, but awake. I have to walk by their door to get to my room, so they called me in, as they heard us walk up the stairs.

    They said, "Have you got someone with you?"

    And I say, "Yeah, it's my mate Owen, he's a bit locked, he's sleeping in my room tonight"

    "Oh, that's grand, Sowatchawant. Good night! Love ya!"

    And that was that! Locked the door, and the rest of the night looked after itself!

    Got any stories yourselves?:)

    They reason they now give you funny looks is because the heard the sexings and now think you are gay.

    The reason they give your mate Owen funny looks is because they think he is effeminate.


  • #65
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    Dragan wrote: »
    They reason they now give you funny looks is because the heard the sexings and now think you are gay.

    The reason they give your mate Owen funny looks is because they think he is effeminate.

    Dragan, you're just jumping to conclusions now.
    There are no facts whatsoever to support your claim it's just all idle speculation.

    Why would his parents assume that Owen was the bitch?


  • #66
    Mr.Lizard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,476 ✭✭✭Mr.Lizard


    Adiboo wrote: »
    I had sex in Japan. Good times:)

    Were you big in Japan?


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  • #67
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,094 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    All these posts and nobody said that they would go the hole distance. :P


  • #68
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    All these posts and nobody said that they would go the hole distance. :P

    Or which hole.:confused::rolleyes:


  • #69
    owenmakken
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭owenmakken


    I once was with this lad who wouldnt let me ride him till I ate his anus out! and gave him an 'anul orgasam'(??).

    You might think that itd be pretty hot but it wasn't I was literally munching his arse for a full hour, and he wasnt all that clean - pickin dangle berries out of my teeth for a week. The ride was so-so.

    His parents where in the next room I think they heard everything, He told told them I was actaully some German chick the next morning, even though they seen the both of us come in.


  • #70
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    Brings a new meaning to the expression 'You've just been POWENed'...


  • #71
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,094 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    owenmakken wrote: »
    I once was with this lad who wouldnt let me ride him till I ate his anus out! and gave him an 'anul orgasam'(??).

    You might think that itd be pretty hot but it wasn't I was literally munching his arse for a full hour, and he wasnt all that clean - pickin dangle berries out of my teeth for a week. The ride was so-so.

    His parents where in the next room I think they heard everything, He told told them I was actaully some German chick the next morning, even though they seen the both of us come in.

    Holey sh1t man! :eek:


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  • #72
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    owenmakken wrote: »
    I once was with this lad who wouldnt let me ride him till I ate his anus out! and gave him an 'anul orgasam'(??).

    You might think that itd be pretty hot but it wasn't I was literally munching his arse for a full hour, and he wasnt all that clean - pickin dangle berries out of my teeth for a week. The ride was so-so.

    His parents where in the next room I think they heard everything, He told told them I was actaully some German chick the next morning, even though they seen the both of us come in.

    Left a bad taste no doubt....................:pac:


  • #73
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,094 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    galwayrush wrote: »
    Left a bad taste no doubt....................:pac:

    There are some things you brag about and other things that you just take to your grave. :eek:


  • #74
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    There are some things you brag about and other things that you just take to your grave. :eek:

    There's enough crap in the world without dealing in that ****.:eek:


  • #75
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    owenmakken wrote: »
    I once was with this lad who wouldnt let me ride him till I ate his anus out! and gave him an 'anul orgasam'(??).

    You might think that itd be pretty hot but it wasn't I was literally munching his arse for a full hour, and he wasnt all that clean - pickin dangle berries out of my teeth for a week. The ride was so-so.

    His parents where in the next room I think they heard everything, He told told them I was actaully some German chick the next morning, even though they seen the both of us come in.

    Wait?

    Owen?

    OP? you're not telling us the full story at all here are you?


  • #76
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,163 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I drove to cork once for a jump. Wasn't worth it. For her either I suspect.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #77
    Lockstep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,030 ✭✭✭Lockstep


    I put up with her playing Czech folk-pop in the background.

    If you've heard Czech folk-pop you'll know how much of an ordeal that is.
    It sounds like a mixture between Irish trad, the soundtrack to Borat and gangsta rap.


  • #78
    steo87
    Closed Accounts Posts: 510 ✭✭✭steo87


    Dude...your parents think you got it on with your mate Owen....


  • #79
    Kenno90
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,184 ✭✭✭Kenno90


    qz wrote: »
    OP, you're not a patch on Stuart.

    f*cking brill


  • #80
    Steo46
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 679 ✭✭✭Steo46


    I rode an 89 year old granny in new york last week. I'm going back next year. The crack'll be ninety.


  • #81
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    This has to be the most nauseatingly pathetic thread I've read in quite some time. I can't quite capture in it words but a pimply faced teen wanting everyone to know he lost his virginity/had sex always end up the same way.


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  • #82
    Rory123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 601 ✭✭✭Rory123


    I don't think the OP has reposted on this thread either.


  • #83
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    Valmont wrote: »
    Replace Dutch with Columbian and banged with handjob and we have had very similar experience!

    Except yours was ten times worse and probably paid for her families upkeep for an entire generation.


  • #84
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,094 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Rory123 wrote: »
    I don't think the OP has reposted on this thread either.

    I think, like the rest of us reading this thread, he lost the will to live. He probably didn't go out with a bang, to add insult to injury.


  • #85
    Call Me Jimmy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    steo87 wrote: »
    Dude...your parents think you got it on with your mate Owen....

    Dude... sweet post!


  • #86
    NorthernRock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭NorthernRock


    owenmakken wrote: »
    I once was with this lad who wouldnt let me ride him till I ate his anus out! and gave him an 'anul orgasam'(??).

    You might think that itd be pretty hot but it wasn't I was literally munching his arse for a full hour, and he wasnt all that clean - pickin dangle berries out of my teeth for a week. The ride was so-so.

    His parents where in the next room I think they heard everything, He told told them I was actaully some German chick the next morning, even though they seen the both of us come in.

    You can get tongue-covers for that sort of **** you know


  • #87
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    AH SHE FELL ASLEEP HA HA HA


  • #88
    alexandros
    Closed Accounts Posts: 257 ✭✭alexandros


    other than the hole you were birthed out of

    I think the bedroom at your parents house is about as CLOSE as you can get to "get your hole"

    unless you have found a way to stick yourself.. that would technically be closer


  • #89
    brendansmith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭brendansmith


    Piste wrote: »
    Pfff, easily done with no effort I would have thought!


    Piste: 'Hey babe i moderate the clearasil and hormones forum on boards.ie'
    Babe: 'Lets fu(k till we die!"


  • #90
    Bobeagleburger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45,634 ✭✭✭✭Bobeagleburger


    TerrorFirmer wrote: »
    This has to be the most nauseatingly pathetic thread I've read in quite some time. I can't quite capture in it words but a pimply faced teen wanting everyone to know he lost his virginity/had sex always end up the same way.

    I actually think its one of the funniest threads I've read in ages.


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  • #91
    sunshine007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35 ✭sunshine007


    owenmakken wrote: »
    I once was with this lad who wouldnt let me ride him till I ate his anus out! and gave him an 'anul orgasam'(??).

    You might think that itd be pretty hot but it wasn't I was literally munching his arse for a full hour, and he wasnt all that clean - pickin dangle berries out of my teeth for a week. The ride was so-so.

    His parents where in the next room I think they heard everything, He told told them I was actaully some German chick the next morning, even though they seen the both of us come in.

    Ha ha ha- that has to be a form of abuse!!!


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