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Where are all the men??

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13

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    #62
    Myggel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 66 ✭✭Myggel


    Interesting thread. I have two mates who I was thiking about as they never seem to meet any decent girls. I'm not saying there aren't any, it's just my mates never seem to meet them.

    I'm going out with someone and like all my everyone who is in a relationship I always meet a lot great girls. I think the reason why is you tend to treat them like guys, just chat, shoot the **** and there's no sexual motives behind it.

    It might sound soppy or airy fairy, I honestly don't mean it that way but I really believe that becoming friends before lovers is the ONLY way to start a relationship.


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    #63
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I reckon you're dead right in an ideal world and it would be my preferred way, but all too often IME it can lead to the dreaded friendzone for guys.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #64
    amz5
    Registered Users Posts: 227 ✭✭amz5


    banshee_bones wrote: »
    I sat outside a prominent pub in Galway today for two hours drinking with three lady friends and unashamadly "talent spotting"

    We came to the conclusion that there is no talent/men in Galway. Least not today! Sorry OP I think they culd all be in collective hiding somewhere? :pac:

    I live in Galway....could have spared you those few hours research :)


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    #65
    bman
    Registered Users Posts: 590 ✭✭✭bman


    banshee_bones wrote: »
    I sat outside a prominent pub in Galway today for two hours drinking with three lady friends and unashamadly "talent spotting"

    We came to the conclusion that there is no talent/men in Galway. Least not today! Sorry OP I think they culd all be in collective hiding somewhere? :pac:

    A blatant lie! I live in Galway, am a man and have multiple talents, such as been able to juggle 8 knifes at once and lick my elbow*.

    * - may not actually be true. But I am a man god damnit!!!


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    #66
    laurak265
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭laurak265


    Wibbs wrote: »

    Be more approachable. The gregarious and approachable women have more luck with men, regardless of looks. Men are more visual as far as attraction goes so keep an eye on that aspect. Get clothes that suit you etc.

    Approach men. Play with the stereotype of pursued and pursuer.



    What is approachable?? Do i stand there with a stupid grin on my face for every guy who walks by? If you saw me in a club smiling at you and have the crowd around you what would you think of me?


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    #67
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    In Bray, it appears


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    #68
    laurak265
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭laurak265


    banshee_bones wrote: »
    I think there is some fantastic common sense being disperesed here and the "i want a boyyyyyyyfriendd/giiiiirlfriend" whiners should sit up and take note.

    Nail has been hit on the head, nobody should settle and they would also do well to keep in mind their personal motivations for wanting another half.


    I don't want to settle i want to find mr right but by doing that i'm branded as fussy or my standards are too high. So on one hand its stop being so fussy but on the otherhand the advice is not to settle? Middleground??


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    #69
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    laurak265 wrote: »
    I don't want to settle i want to find mr right but by doing that i'm branded as fussy or my standards are too high. So on one hand its stop being so fussy but on the otherhand the advice is not to settle? Middleground??


    Stop being so fussy: give guys a chance. Even if you have doubts about a guy, think he's not not enough or funny enough or whatever... go on a date, give him a chance. Go on three dates, five dates. Get to know him.

    If it turns out that he's fundamentally not right, don't settle. Try again with the next guy.

    There's no way to now whether a guy you meet in a bar randomly is right for you or not. It's hit and miss, trial and error. And the good thing about giving guys a chance is that you learn LOADS about what it is you ACTUALLY want.

    So you might think the fact that Guy X has a kid would be an issue. But then you date him and you find out that it's not... but his long working hours are. So you've learned something. Next guy that comes along, you're a bit wiser.

    Honestly, it works.


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    #70
    laurak265
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭laurak265


    Good advice thanks for that! ;)


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    #71
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    +1

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #72
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    laurak265 wrote: »
    What is approachable?? Do i stand there with a stupid grin on my face for every guy who walks by? If you saw me in a club smiling at you and have the crowd around you what would you think of me?
    I'd think, oh I have a chance here tbh. If I was interested I'd go over to you. You don't have to grin like a loony at every guy:D just be more smiley in general. If indeed you're not. A lot of women(and men) have a face on them that would sour milk. Not attractive.
    shellyboo wrote:
    There's no way to now whether a guy you meet in a bar randomly is right for you or not. It's hit and miss, trial and error. And the good thing about giving guys a chance is that you learn LOADS about what it is you ACTUALLY want.
    Very very good point. I would say this to guys too. Indeed more to guys, especially the quiet ones. Just because you get "lucky" with one person, it doesn't mean that person is right for you. As shellyboo points out, the more people you meet and date, the more you'll discover what you want and need and who the right person is likely to be.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #73
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    laurak265 wrote: »
    I don't want to settle i want to find mr right but by doing that i'm branded as fussy or my standards are too high. So on one hand its stop being so fussy but on the otherhand the advice is not to settle? Middleground??

    The only way to find Mr. Right is to go through a few Mr. Wrongs.

    Lessons need learning and you can't really protect yourself from them. A vast amount of our development as people comes from relationships that go wrong and these prepare us for the one that will go right.

    In my opinion.


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    #74
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Dragan wrote: »
    The only way to find Mr. Right is to go through a few Mr. Wrongs.

    Lessons need learning and you can't really protect yourself from them. A vast amount of our development as people comes from relationships that go wrong and these prepare us for the one that will go right.

    In my opinion.

    Agree with Dragan completely.Every relationship Ive had,wheter been the dumper or dumpee,wheter it was serious or casual has helped me grow and I feel I am better equipped for a proper,mature relationship now than I ever have been in my life.


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    #75
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I agree too. Of course the real trick is knowing when to stop looking. I know too many who if they had their life over again would stick with a person in their past more than the person they're with in their present.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #76
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Obviously they are away sleeping with / dating with the GOOD-LOOKING Ladies. ;)

    *Scarpers*


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    #77
    RxQueen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,821 ✭✭✭RxQueen


    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Obviously they are away sleeping with / dating with the GOOD-LOOKING Ladies. ;)

    *Scarpers*
    cause an attitude like that, im sure they're all trowing themselves at you :rolleyes:


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    #78
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Mr. Incognito hardly in the spirit of this forum. Take that kinda thing to AH please. It wont be tolerated here. Thanks

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #79
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Okay apologies, but I'm in good humour today.

    Look, men don't rain out of the blooming sky. Even Cinderalla had to get off her arse and go to the Ball, even if she did have a curfew.

    I'm just so sick of these threads bashing men around here along the lines of "where are all the good men". Unless you are looking under rocks at the beach they are EVERYWHERE. I have loads of mates that are good looking, dead sound and single and never get any ladies because they are usually holed up with their gal pals in a booth in the corner bitching about the last b@stard they were dating while simultanously ridiculing anyone that tries to approach the group. Is it any wonder Irish men thought the foreign ladies without the sarky attitude were manna from heaven.

    Bottom line, you want to meet a nice man, go meet men. peiod. Go for a walk around the club on your own, smile at people you find attractive and I GUARANTEE you will be chatted up in five minutes.

    People are chicken and then blame the opposite sex for their own faults. "Well there was one guy but he never apprached us", How many times have I heard that from Gal-Pals. Jaysus woman he's over there bricking himself too!!

    Thankfully I learned these lessons long ago and decided that everyone is a insecure wreck. Using this basic premise I have approached many a woman with confidence and a smile and I rarely go home alone or without a phone number. It works both ways.

    This entire thread is an extension of this moaney hole attitude and there are women posting here that men would give their right arm to be with who could get together in a heartbeat if they took their heads out of their rear ends.


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    #80
    t-ha
    Registered Users Posts: 1,479 ✭✭✭t-ha


    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    ... and decided that everyone is a insecure wreck. Using this basic premise I have approached many a woman with confidence and a smile...
    Awesome. And right. :pac:


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    #81
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Okay apologies, but I'm in good humour today.

    Look, men don't rain out of the blooming sky. Even Cinderalla had to get off her arse and go to the Ball, even if she did have a curfew.

    I'm just so sick of these threads bashing men around here along the lines of "where are all the good men". Unless you are looking under rocks at the beach they are EVERYWHERE. I have loads of mates that are good looking, dead sound and single and never get any ladies because they are usually holed up with their gal pals in a booth in the corner bitching about the last b@stard they were dating while simultanously ridiculing anyone that tries to approach the group. Is it any wonder Irish men thought the foreign ladies without the sarky attitude were manna from heaven.

    Bottom line, you want to meet a nice man, go meet men. peiod. Go for a walk around the club on your own, smile at people you find attractive and I GUARANTEE you will be chatted up in five minutes.

    People are chicken and then blame the opposite sex for their own faults. "Well there was one guy but he never apprached us", How many times have I heard that from Gal-Pals. Jaysus woman he's over there bricking himself too!!

    Thankfully I learned these lessons long ago and decided that everyone is a insecure wreck. Using this basic premise I have approached many a woman with confidence and a smile and I rarely go home alone or without a phone number. It works both ways.

    This entire thread is an extension of this moaney hole attitude and there are women posting here that men would give their right arm to be with who could get together in a heartbeat if they took their heads out of their rear ends.
    I have to say+1 If you're a man or a woman and you say where are all the <insert gender of choice here>, when the object of your interest makes up 50% of the population, well then you're probably doing something wrong.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #82
    Ashlingxxx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Ashlingxxx


    i think the best thing you can all do is relax, there is someone out there for every1 just have patience and remember that everthing is not just about looks...like i always see couples and do you ever find yourself thinking what is he/she doing with her/him?...love wins over looks in the end!!!


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    #83
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    What are you's looking for in a man??


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    #84
    Ashlingxxx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Ashlingxxx


    ha someone decent who knows how to treat a woman!!!


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    #85
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    ha you can't be too nice - it doesn't work. I get more women when i treat them in a bit of a mean way. It's a pity because im actually a really nice guy.


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    #86
    Ashlingxxx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Ashlingxxx


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    ha you can't be too nice - it doesn't work. I get more women when i treat them in a bit of a mean way. It's a pity because im actually a really nice guy.

    ha what is a mean way??

    ha I'm a really nice girl bt I wouldn't want to be treated 'mean' :mad:


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    #87
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    Ashlingxxx wrote: »
    ha what is a mean way??

    ha I'm a really nice girl bt I wouldn't want to be treated 'mean' :mad:

    Im not talking about treating them terrible - ive never treated anybody badly - im just saying that i get more girls when im not affraid to say or do anything that will hurt their feelings.


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    #88
    laurak265
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭laurak265


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    What are you's looking for in a man??

    Someone who isn't a workaholic and can't make time for a date.
    Someone who isn't an alcoholic and who won't make a show of me on a night out.
    Someone who believes in themselves and doesn't keep telling you hes "boxing above his belt being" with me.
    Someone who doesn't mind staying in for a night every now and again
    Someone who i can have a conversation with and a laugh with.
    Someone who doesn't insult my best friends and tell me there only aquaintances to him.

    God i dont want much do i :rolleyes:


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    #89
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    laurak265 wrote: »
    Someone who isn't a workaholic and can't make time for a date.
    Someone who isn't an alcoholic and who won't make a show of me on a night out.
    Someone who believes in themselves and doesn't keep telling you hes "boxing above his belt being" with me.
    Someone who doesn't mind staying in for a night every now and again
    Someone who i can have a conversation with and a laugh with.
    Someone who doesn't insult my best friends and tell me there only aquaintances to him.

    God i dont want much do i :rolleyes:
    In fairness that's bugger all really.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #90
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    ha you can't be too nice - it doesn't work. I get more women when i treat them in a bit of a mean way. It's a pity because im actually a really nice guy.

    If you are feeling one way and acting another then i would put it to you that you don't actually know who you are at all.


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    #91
    laurak265
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭laurak265


    Wibbs wrote: »
    In fairness that's bugger all really.

    Yes but its impossible to find!!! :eek:


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