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Where are all the men??

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    #92
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    laurak265 wrote: »
    Yes but its impossible to find!!! :eek:

    I fit that description, but I don't have a Job, so I guess I am out!!!:D


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    #93
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I can think of about....I'd say damn near ten blokes I could name off the top of my head that would fit that description Thats not saying much either. It really is a basic list.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #94
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    ha you can't be too nice - it doesn't work. I get more women when i treat them in a bit of a mean way. It's a pity because im actually a really nice guy.

    If you're interested in putting on an act to "get" women depending on what "works" [for what?]... mmm :rolleyes:

    Interesting how every time I hear "treat em mean" from someone who is "really a nice guy", chances are they're 1/ doormats 2/ personality of a doorknob or 3/ not actually a nice guy at all. In my experience anyway.


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    #95
    Melange
    Registered Users Posts: 287 ✭✭Melange


    Ashlingxxx wrote: »
    ha someone decent who knows how to treat a woman!!!

    This is a phrase that I've heard countless times. I would normally have taken it to mean "a man who treats a woman with respect and dignity", but a few female friends have confided to me that they really mean "a man who spoils me and pays for dinner" when they say it.

    So, which one is it? I'm hoping it's the first, tbh.


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    #96
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    bluewolf wrote: »
    If you're interested in putting on an act to "get" women depending on what "works" [for what?]... mmm :rolleyes:

    Interesting how every time I hear "treat em mean" from someone who is "really a nice guy", chances are they're 1/ doormats 2/ personality of a doorknob or 3/ not actually a nice guy at all. In my experience anyway.

    Its not really like that, if i approach a girl in a club and initiate a conversation while being really nice the whole time, its works but not as much as being a bit checky. Usually they think im really nice but come up with an excuss not to kiss me.

    I dont consider myself a doormat or a personality of a doorknob (obvisiously) but first impressions can count for alot when approaching girls. I think its easier to tell girls what they wanna hear in the first conversations rather than just blurting anything that comes to mind.

    I really am that nice thou and like i said sometimes too nice.


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    #97
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    I really am that nice thou and like i said sometimes too nice.

    Ok, looking at a different angle, what exactly is it that makes you so nice that you had to describe yourself as such no fewer than 4 times in that post? And why is it a question of "telling them what they want to hear" vs "blurting anything that comes to mind" ? :confused:


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    #98
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Ok, looking at a different angle, what exactly is it that makes you so nice that you had to describe yourself as such no fewer than 4 times in that post? And why is it a question of "telling them what they want to hear" vs "blurting anything that comes to mind" ? :confused:

    OK i now realize that i am an eejet going on about me being a nice person, it's really up to other people to decide.

    To answer your question about "telling them what they want to hear" vs "blurting anything that comes to mind", there are certain things you can't say on the first few dates, for instance even if you are mad about the girl already i think you should still try and play it cool rather that scare her off by expressing yourself too eagerly.Telling them what they want to hear is more like teasing them and playing hard to get. Someone once told me a great analogy of girls. He said that girls are a cat and a string. If you dangle the string right in front of the cat they will go mad trying to get at it however, if you give the string to the cat, they will not want it anymore and walk away.

    People are saying that im putting on an "act" and im dont who i am. I like to think of it as more of running game on a girls and not an act.

    But hey, thats just how i feel through my personal experiences. Im not an expert.


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    #99
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Someone once told me a great analogy of girls. He said that girls are a cat and a string. If you dangle the string right in front of the cat they will go mad trying to get at it however, if you give the string to the cat, they will not want it anymore and walk away.

    People are saying that im putting on an "act" and im dont who i am. I like to think of it as more of running game on a girls and not an act.


    /facepalm.

    Cat and a string? Running game? Words fail me.


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    #100
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    shellyboo wrote: »
    /facepalm.

    Cat and a string? Running game? Words fail me.

    Yeah the cat and a string is an analogy of girls (which is the same for guys) when dealing with the opposite sex. The concept is that is you dangle a string in front of the cat, teasing it, it will do everything in its power to get it. But when you finally decide to give the cat the string it will grow disinterested and walk away. The same can be applied to human nature. People alway want something they can't have and when you tease them, they will get fustrated and want it even more. The idea is that girls (or guys) will go for the one who is hardest to get, who is catch, and not the easy people.

    Running game is a idiom I use for chatting up girls. It applies to everything from approaching the girl, talking to her, flirting with her and playing games. For instance if i see a nice looking girl at the bar, I dont approach them and say "hey i think your hot, want to shag?". I run game on her.

    I know im getting really philosophical, i dont usually go on like this. Im prob just analyzing a bit too deep.


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    #101
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Yeah the cat and a string is an analogy of girls (which is the same for guys) when dealing with the opposite sex. The concept is that is you dangle a string in front of the cat, teasing it, it will do everything in its power to get it. But when you finally decide to give the cat the string it will grow disinterested and walk away. The same can be applied to human nature. People alway want something they can't have and when you tease them, they will get fustrated and want it even more. The idea is that girls (or guys) will go for the one who is hardest to get, who is catch, and not the easy people.

    Running game is a idiom I use for chatting up girls. It applies to everything from approaching the girl, talking to her, flirting with her and playing games. For instance if i see a nice looking girl at the bar, I dont approach them and say "hey i think your hot, want to shag?". I run game on her.

    I know im getting really philosophical, i dont usually go on like this. Im prob just analyzing a bit too deep.

    Yes, I understood what you said... and I am in total despair.

    Men cry on and on and on about women playing "games" and then they pull this sort of crap? If you're going to treat relationships like a game, or as if you're trying to "catch" a woman, then you are going to fail.

    It's a really immature way of acting... pretending not to be interested etc. And the people who like someone better because the person appears "hard to get" are even worse, if you ask me.

    I'm not saying you have to go up and ask for a shag... but what's wrong with just going up and being yourself without "running game" on her?


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    #102
    Gyalist
    Registered Users Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Yes, I understood what you said... and I am in total despair.

    Men cry on and on and on about women playing "games" and then they pull this sort of crap? If you're going to treat relationships like a game, or as if you're trying to "catch" a woman, then you are going to fail.

    It's a really immature way of acting... pretending not to be interested etc. And the people who like someone better because the person appears "hard to get" are even worse, if you ask me.

    I'm not saying you have to go up and ask for a shag... but what's wrong with just going up and being yourself without "running game" on her?


    It's not about treating relationships as a game. The initial interactions are very much a game.


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    #103
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,387 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    Gyalist wrote: »
    It's not about treating relationships as a game. The initial interactions are very much a game.

    Ha you took the words right out of my mouth just as i was typing.

    Back to shellyboo, running game is fun for both parties. Approaching a girl and saying "hi my name is such and such, i was born in such and such, now tell me about yourself?" can be quite boring. Your still being yourself, just playing games while doing it.


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    #104
    Mr Tim Buktoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 226 ✭✭Mr Tim Buktoo


    maybe dont be so bloody shallow op!


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    #105
    laurak265
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭laurak265


    Mr Tim Buktoo wrote: »
    maybe dont be so bloody shallow op!

    How am i being shallow??


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    #106
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    laurak265 wrote: »
    How am i being shallow??

    Cos you won't go out with any balding, fat-guy, wearing a Wifebeater. Thats why!!!:P (Joking BTW)



    And to answer the thread title. All the men are sitting in the corner of a bar wanting to chat you up but scared to approach. Therefore maybe you should approach them.


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    #107
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    minidazzler wrote: »
    Cos you won't go out with any balding, fat-guy, wearing a Wifebeater. Thats why!!!:P (Joking BTW)



    And to answer the thread title. All the men are sitting in the corner of a bar wanting to chat you up but scared to approach. Therefore maybe you should approach them.

    errr.......all the men are at home posting in TLL :rolleyes:


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    #108
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    People alway want something they can't have and when you tease them, they will get fustrated and want it even more. The idea is that girls (or guys) will go for the one who is hardest to get, who is catch, and not the easy people.

    This makes no sense. If you are going on a date with someone your interest is expressed, what comes next is merely defining that interest.

    The fact that you are there has already removed the string.


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    #109
    Cute_Button
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭Cute_Button


    Joining clubs and societies that you are genuinely interested in- even to the extent of popping into Trinity or UCD during freshers week to do so, is an excellent way to meet people with similar pasttimes. Most of the staff and postgrads join societies too- so you're not the only one over 22.......

    Pubs and nightclubs are dire- unless you want a one night stand you shouldn't expect anything else from them.

    Its a sad reflection of modern life- that its almost impossible to meetup with reasonably sane members of the opposite sex who have similar pasttimes and ambitions to you- the opportunities simply don't exist the way they used to...... :(


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    #110
    Gyalist
    Registered Users Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    minidazzler wrote: »

    And to answer the thread title. All the men are sitting in the corner of a bar wanting to chat you up but scared to approach. Therefore maybe you should approach them.

    The men would be better advised to learn social skills. Women approaching men will never become the norm so wishing for it to happen is a waste of time.

    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    errr.......all the men are at home posting in TLL :rolleyes:

    Kinda like the reason why male lions hang out around watering holes.


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    #111
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Gyalist wrote: »
    The men would be better advised to learn social skills. Women approaching men will never become the norm so wishing for it to happen is a waste of time.
    +1

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #112
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    GiftofGab wrote: »

    Back to shellyboo, running game is fun for both parties. Approaching a girl and saying "hi my name is such and such, i was born in such and such, now tell me about yourself?" can be quite boring. Your still being yourself, just playing games while doing it.


    Well, from a female perspective - a man comes up to me with chat-up lines and "game" and my first thought is, "doesn't he have a personality he can entertain me with?"

    I see right through it, it's shallow and it's boring.


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    #113
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    There is nothing wrong with an opening gambit, it makes clear thier intent and gives them
    an in to converstaion and means you can rebuff them if needs be, but if after 10 mins of
    chatting they are still working off a script then who wants to feel they are just another in a long line of ladies who has had the same lines trotted out at them be it over that night
    or the last few weekends.


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    #114
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    laurak265 wrote: »
    Someone who isn't a workaholic and can't make time for a date.
    Someone who isn't an alcoholic and who won't make a show of me on a night out.
    Someone who believes in themselves and doesn't keep telling you hes "boxing above his belt being" with me.
    Someone who doesn't mind staying in for a night every now and again
    Someone who i can have a conversation with and a laugh with.
    Someone who doesn't insult my best friends and tell me there only aquaintances to him.

    God i dont want much do i :rolleyes:

    That's not much to expect at all from a man. No disrespect intended but are you sure that's all you want? I mean honestly, men like that are EVERYWHERE. It beggars belief that someone with such an easily accomplished list of qualities that they like in a partner can't find one.
    laurak265 wrote: »
    Yes but its impossible to find!!! :eek:

    Like I said they are all over the place. maybe you guys (gals?) arent looking hard enough?
    Gyalist wrote: »
    The men would be better advised to learn social skills. Women approaching men will never become the norm so wishing for it to happen is a waste of time.

    This is part of the problem. Why don't you (as in women) learn the social skills? it's the 21st Century for crying out loud. It is perfectly acceptable and common for a woman to approach a man she likes. The whole notion that girls don't/can't ask guys out is old fashioned and belongs in the past. Heck, there was a time when a guy had to ask a father's permission to ask a girl out and get a chaparone to go with them on dates. Luckily the times have changed and continue to do so.
    All the girls who cling to the old notion that its not 'proper' or 'the done thing' to ask a guy out are only holding themselves back.


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