"As a parent..." - magic words?

cuckoo

Listening to all the recession talk a lot of the texts into radio stations have the "as a parent" words thrown into them.

That phrase also pops up when people are having a rant about violence on tv and lads magazines in the shops.

I'm not a parent, and I have nothing against children or those that parent them - maybe i'm just not understanding the sense of identity that some parents feel as parents.

But....a lot of the time it feels like they're throwing a big "BABY ON BOARD" sticker in front of their opinion and expecting it to be respected more.

There are child rearing specific issues that I would lend more weight to a parent's opinion, but when it comes to bank recapitalisation I don't care if someone has bred or not.

Yes, life is a little financially pinched at the moment, but I am tired of listening to people justifying their complaints about having less income by the fact that they're 'parents'. I have a fondness for belgian chocolates and pearls that i am unable to indulge these days, but i'm not starting my complaints with "as a wearer of pearls...". I feel confident that people get a lot more pleasure from raising their children than i do from pretty pearls - so why are the magic words "as a parent" used most to complain about things?

hamsterboy

As Bill Bailey said, you can replace the words "Speaking as a parent" with "Speaking out of my arse"

HB

Robbo

"I'm a mother Joe..." can be used as a legitimate introduction to any thought you may have from conscription to the mandatory castration of parking offenders.

CeilingCat

cuckoo wrote: »

Yes, life is a little financially pinched at the moment, but I am tired of listening to people justifying their complaints about having less income by the fact that they're 'parents'. I have a fondness for belgian chocolates and pearls that i am unable to indulge these days, but i'm not starting my complaints with "as a wearer of pearls...". I feel confident that people get a lot more pleasure from raising their children than i do from pretty pearls - so why are the magic words "as a parent" used most to complain about things?

I hear ya... just recently I tried to explein to my son that due to the current financial climate we would have to forego indulgences like food, clothing, heat etc. He wasn't having any of it.

Kids these days....

Dudess

Ah, in fairness, when it comes to the economy, it's understandable for parents to make a point of mentioning their children, as this is probably their biggest worry... but in situations where it's not relevant, it's as annoying as all the usual "you haven't got kids - you wouldn't understand" patronising, dismissive crap.

jim o doom

Good mate of mine has a sister who claims "It's OK to be a hypocrite if you are a parent"..


Apparently she was a bit of a "wild child" for a good many years before settling down and having kids..


Totally flips the lid if my mate plays metal for the girls (who loved it as babies) or even tries to teach 'em how to juggle - because they might end up hanging out with hippies (oh NO not the hippies!.. cartman would be thrilled ).


If it was my own sister I would tell her how stupid I thought she was being and there's no good reason to be a hypocrite. It's funny though.. and another parent friend of ours; upon hearing the "it's ok as a parent to be a hypoctrite" statement.. agreed. *sigh* we're fecked as a species really, arn't we..

stovelid

cuckoo wrote: »

Listening to all the recession talk a lot of the texts into radio stations have the "as a parent" words thrown into them.

That phrase also pops up when people are having a rant about violence on tv and lads magazines in the shops.

I'm not a parent, and I have nothing against children or those that parent them - maybe i'm just not understanding the sense of identity that some parents feel as parents.

But....a lot of the time it feels like they're throwing a big "BABY ON BOARD" sticker in front of their opinion and expecting it to be respected more.

There are child rearing specific issues that I would lend more weight to a parent's opinion, but when it comes to bank recapitalisation I don't care if someone has bred or not.

Yes, life is a little financially pinched at the moment, but I am tired of listening to people justifying their complaints about having less income by the fact that they're 'parents'. I have a fondness for belgian chocolates and pearls that i am unable to indulge these days, but i'm not starting my complaints with "as a wearer of pearls...". I feel confident that people get a lot more pleasure from raising their children than i do from pretty pearls - so why are the magic words "as a parent" used most to complain about things?

As a parent, I would tend to disagree.

Dudess

Robbo wrote: »

"I'm a mother Joe..." can be used as a legitimate introduction to any thought you may have from conscription to the mandatory castration of parking offenders.

How effective is "Joe, I'm a father"?

Robbo

Dudess wrote: »

How effective is "Joe, I'm a father"?

It's one notch below "I've been a taximan 82 years Joe and..." and well below mothers.

There's a Liveline pyramid of credibility vaguely in proportion with the demographics of the listenership.

jim o doom

Robbo wrote: »

There's a Liveline pyramid of credibility vaguely in proportion with the demographics of the listenership.

lol! - I'm interested in who you think falls to the lowest end of the scale.. do politicians ever ring that show?

stovelid

Robbo wrote: »

There's a Liveline pyramid of credibility vaguely in proportion with the demographics of the listenership.

Exactly. Outraged mother is the one that trumps all.

Dudess

:D:D

Malari

stovelid wrote: »

Exactly. Outraged mother is the one that trumps all.

Aren't we forgetting Outraged OAPs?

claiva

Father of 3 here........
When you have kids, everything changes. Especially your perspective on what is important and what isn't. You stop putting yourself first. Which is VERY hard for singletons to grasp.

I think when people use that term they mean that the point they are making is not to highlight an issue where they personally have a problem longterm, but to highlight that in the longterm we should ALL stand up for whats right for the sake of the next generation who obviously cannot do it themselves yet.

you never hear the tracksuit wearing benefit fraudsters from using the "as a parent" slogan..........
Why - coz they don't give a fcuk, if they did, they wouldn't feed their kids coke and crisps for breakfast !!!

A lot of folk in this country are oblivious to the injustices in our little democracy.....but hey, we voted for these clowns, headed by King Clowen himself !!!!:eek::eek:
Rant over.....

cuckoo

stovelid wrote: »

Exactly. Outraged mother is the one that trumps all.

Trumped by 'outraged mother complaining about child's teacher'.

I perhaps didn't explain myself fully in my original post, i do understand that children require more feeding, watering and worry than my beloved flock of houseplants. And, I do understand when parents express worries about specific child related issues: third level fees, their children finding jobs, etc.... It's the general pronouncements on morality, and the sense of entitlement that the 'but...i'm a parent!' often convey that annoy me.

PeakOutput

claiva wrote: »

I think when people use that term they mean that the point they are making is not to highlight an issue where they personally have a problem longterm, but to highlight that in the longterm we should ALL stand up for whats right for the sake of the next generation who obviously cannot do it themselves yet.

i think the point was its ok to preface your argument with this line if the argument is about kids/child benefit/ paedophiles/ anything connected to children

but when you say something along the lines off 'as a parent i think its a disgrace that the golden circle got offered these free loans' it should automatically cut you out of the conversation / shut off you phone if your live on liveline / eject you from your seat onto your arse as its stupid and irrelevant in the extreme

finally students are the least important opinions on liveline

any students listen to liveline? i doubt it

cuckoo

claiva wrote: »

Father of 3 here........
When you have kids, everything changes. Especially your perspective on what is important and what isn't. You stop putting yourself first. Which is VERY hard for singletons to grasp.

Could having kids also mean that it's difficult for you to understand my singleton perspective? It's wonderful that your children are the centre of your world, and I hope you're enjoying being a parent, but I don't think it makes your differing perspective any more valid than a singleton's.

People without children are also capable of putting other people first, thankfully, otherwise our society would be in an even worse state.

PeakOutput

cuckoo wrote: »

It's the general pronouncements on morality, and the sense of entitlement that the 'but...i'm a parent!' often convey that annoy me.

'ye but im a parent joe thats not much use to me'

i can actually hear the voice saying the above in my head

nobodythere

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caxJyw89kKg

3:40

Don't usually think he's funny but I really like his new stuff

Dudess

claiva wrote: »

Father of 3 here........

LOL

When you have kids, everything changes. Especially your perspective on what is important and what isn't. You stop putting yourself first. Which is VERY hard for singletons to grasp.

No it isn't - don't be so patronising. Anyone with half a brain cell will very easily grasp that you stop putting yourself first when you have children - it's probably one of the reasons some people don't want to have children.
And I presume by "singleton" you mean non parent? I'm not a singleton and some single people have children.

I think when people use that term they mean that the point they are making is not to highlight an issue where they personally have a problem longterm, but to highlight that in the longterm we should ALL stand up for whats right for the sake of the next generation who obviously cannot do it themselves yet.

As in, "won't somebody please think of the children?"

stovelid

cuckoo wrote: »

It's the general pronouncements on morality, and the sense of entitlement that the 'but...i'm a parent!' often convey that annoy me.

People with kids probably do have more to fear in this kind of climate than those who don't.

That said, I also really dislike it when i'm a parent is used to convey some sort of gravitas, or an elevated place in the recessionary pecking order.

Dudess

stovelid wrote: »

People with kids probably do have more to fear in this kind of climate than those who don't.

Absolutely. As a non-parent (;):D) I consider myself one of the lucky ones that there are no small people depending on me should I lose my job (quite possible).

stovelid

Dudess wrote: »

I consider myself one of the lucky ones that there are no small people depending on me should I lose my job (quite possible).

Nothing a bit of tweaking to our antiquated child-labour laws wouldn't correct.

00112984

My sister does this. Not even just with the recession but with every argument.

Me: "God, I'm manic in work lately. Am really tired"
Her: "You don't know what tired is until you have a toddler and a 7 month old baby"
Me: "Maybe keep your legs closed in future if they're that much of a burden?"

I need to form a good debate on people having children causing a lot of this economic trouble. I'm married and don't have kids (by choice- getting knocked up was never my main "ambition" in life), I work and pay taxes. I didn't get a free college education. A huge percentage of the tax I pay goes on schools. I have my own arrangements made for my retirement so I'm not depending on the next generation to keep me in my old age. I don't live in council housing or collect social welfare for the many, many crotchfruit I could have produced by now.

Child benefit should be means tested for everyone and should be cut off after X amount of kids. I do maintain that every is entitled to have as many children as they want as long as they have the ability to pay for them themselves and don't rely on state handouts.

Not all but some people seem to think that reproducing is some form of an achievement. Fertilising and egg/giving birth is not an achievement but raising happy, well-adjusted children is. Just don't expect everyone else to foot the bill.

Dudess

00112984 wrote: »

Her: "You don't know what tired is until you have a toddler and a 7 month old baby"

My friend's always saying that too - yeah, I know it's extremely hard, that's why I don't want to have any (now or in the very near future anyway).

stovelid

00112984 wrote: »

Her: "You don't know what tired is until you have a toddler and a 7 month old baby"
.

Well actually, you don't.

But that still doesn't mean that parents should assume that anybody else is interested in hearing about it all the time either.

Piste

There are plenty of ways to be tired other than having kids. Try telling someone who's been awake for 48 hours straight and have been windsurfing and running marathons while saving puppies from burning buildings that they "don't know what tired is" and see where it gets you!

Dudess

I will admit "As a parent, I..." while annoying is absolute poetry in motion compared to "DS, DH, DD". If you use those abbreviations, you are officially a moron.

stovelid

Dudess wrote: »

I will admit "As a parent, I..." while annoying is absolute poetry in motion compared to "DS, DH, DD". If you use those abbreviations, you are officially a moron.

Darling Son; Darling Daughter; Darling Hermaphrodite, right?

:pac:

PeakOutput

Dudess wrote: »

"DS, DH, DD". I

do they really stand for what stovelid says they do?

i have never heard of people using them before but i cant wait to laugh in their face when they do

Dudess

PeakOutput wrote: »

do they really stand for what stovelid says they do?

Almost ("dear husband" being the last one, as you probably guessed). They're more written than said (well I'm hoping nobody would actually say them). I've seen them a fair bit on Boards.