Confused

LegacyUser

Okay, bear with me.
I've been with my partner for a number of years,the relationship has always been great,we get on well,we fight (we like to challenge each other,so it's not real fighting as such) and have remained faithful over the years.On paper it's perfect.
Then out of the blue I bumped an ex who is actually my first love.We got together in 5th year in school and remained together for quite some time.We had a fiery relationship,very intense,very loving.We lived as (excuse the hippie talk) free spirits for our time together.Example, when I got my first bike provisional,we packed a bag and a guitar, I borrowed my brother's motorbike and we went across the country,not knowing or caring where we ended up next.
The girl had an intoxicating effect on me,and still does.When we broke up she said she'd always love me, and I knew I'd always love her.And if the truth be told, there has'nt been a day since that I hav'nt thought of her,but I moved on with my life.
When we bumped into each other,the same spark we had as teenagers was there,we were both like a couple of idiots gazing at other,any chance to touch each other aswell.
I know she's in a relationship herself and she knows I am too but we never spoke of the others.Then ironically when I gave her a lift home a song came on the radio which just happened to be the song I played for her on a beach the night we lost our virginity to each other.(Obviously I played a lot of songs for her but this particular song meant much more to us).
So basically, I'm in a muddle whether to remain in a relationship with one of the sweetest,kindest people I've ever met, or to go for the girl that I've loved since I was 15 years old.I do love the other girl,but I don't know if it'd ever be as much my first love.
Anyone ever have this dilemma,and what did ye do?
Thanks.

Puddleduck

Hi OP

Well first of all, you dont know that she wants you back, you are assuming she does. You also broke up for a reason. It could be possible that you are idealising the realationship because you have been in your current realationship and things have become predictable.

Yes you could run off together into the sunset, your older now and Im sure you have responsibilities but there is nothing to stop you from deciding to go away with your current partner out of the blue.

First loves are always the ones you fall hardest for and the ones you always hurt over the most.

StroppySu

Puddleduck wrote: »

Hi OP

Well first of all, you dont know that she wants you back, you are assuming she does. You also broke up for a reason.

I dont think thats the issue here. Regardless of your ex's feelings, if you feel like this, then there must be something amiss in your current relationship.

I would get that straight before even thinking about starting things up with your ex.

I think you have to consider two things:

1. If your ex doesnt want you back would you break up with your current partner?

2. If your ex does want you back would you break up with your current partner?

If the answer to the first question is no and the answer to the 2nd is yes, then you have to think about what is right for you and whether you are currently settling for second best.

LegacyUser

Take it from me if you still love this girl you need to grasp it with both hands. If everything was cool with your current girlfriend you wouldn't be thinking about the ex. Do yourself and your current girl a favour and don't settle neither of you will be happy. Good luck

Redpunto

Are you sure its not just the excitment of it all that your craving - all relationships mellow out over time.

If you plan to do anything with this old girlfriend then you need to sort out your relationship that you have now - its not fair to cheat on someone, especially if this person means so much to you.