Blissfully Happy!!!

banshee_bones

Great thread OP , i see your point about there being alot of posts about less than good men out there and its lovely to be reminded that we should not give up on them. But as pointed out by Thaed the relationship you must work the most at is the one with yourself.

I am single now since October, for the first time in a very very long time and I have to say that yes being single does take some adjusting to but once you get over that its great.

I can do whatever I want, go where ever I want and basically hang out with all my mates and have an absolute ball. I dont have to worry about anyone else, about how i look,what im wearing, birthday,christmas,valentines,anniversary presents etc. Dont have to rush home, can make total spur of the moment plans with friends, no obligitary text messages or calls when im out.

Well anyway you get the picture! I'm Happy out!

cuckoo

I like this thread.

*Honey*

I met my hubby online in May 2002. He posted in a forum not unlike this, I replied. He replied to me and I replied back. He emailed me and I emailed back... that was Day 1. Day 2 tons more emails. Day 3 we swapped phone numbers and he called me and we talking non-stop on the phone for 7 hours. I hate talking on the phone so 7 hours is a marathon by anyone's standards. By Day 4 we knew we'd get married - we were in love, totally and completely. We didn't meet IRL for another 2 weeks but it didn't matter.. we just knew.

We're now heading for our 5th wedding anniversary - we've had some serious issues to deal with (we lost two babies) but we've been there for each other 24/7, we are stronger for having gone through such things together... we are soulmates and always will be. I tell him he's perfect, he denies it.. but he's perfect for me.

To the poster who said that you have to be happy in yourself first, you're right... I had gotten to a point where I never believed I'd get married or find "the one" but that was ok, I was happy in myself. And then hubby came along and here we are, 7 years later, happier than we ever have been in our lives.

I admit I'm a very lucky woman but I never take it for granted, never ever. He's the best person I've ever met, my best friend, my lover, my absolute everything.

aoibhebree

*Honey* wrote: »

I met my hubby online in May 2002. He posted in a forum not unlike this, I replied. He replied to me and I replied back. He emailed me and I emailed back... that was Day 1. Day 2 tons more emails. Day 3 we swapped phone numbers and he called me and we talking non-stop on the phone for 7 hours. I hate talking on the phone so 7 hours is a marathon by anyone's standards. By Day 4 we knew we'd get married - we were in love, totally and completely. We didn't meet IRL for another 2 weeks but it didn't matter.. we just knew.

Awwwww ... that's so romantic

aoibhebree

Can I just make the point that being in a relationship does not automatically entail sacrificing your independence!! I'm engaged, but that doesn't stop me or my fiance from going on girls/guys holidays abroad; we certainly don't have to "ask" each other before we go on a night out; he often goes away on weekends with his friends and so do I. He has very close female friends from before we started going out; I'm good friends with two of my exes; it isn't a problem.

And I know lots of people who are very very happily single and don't want or need a relationship, and I do agree that you have to be OK with yourself before having a relationship with anyone else... but this thread is about celebrating the happy positive things about healthy non-dysfunctional relationships

MeMyself&I

mmmm....i think some people or missing the point of my story.

Im not talking about the meaning of happiness.

I want people to know that not all relationships are bad. There was one or two people on the PI threads i was hoping would join this, but they havent.

Lorrs33

I've known my boyfriend since I was thirteen (he was fourteen). The flirting started when we were nineteen/twenty, but sadly I was in complete denial about my feelings for him, convinced I'd ruin the friendship if it didn't work out. He wound up getting a girlfriend and was with her for about eight months, I was secretly raging! I went out with a guy during this, which was a complete disaster. Five/six months after my boyfriend split from his girlfriend, I finally told him how I felt. We're together six months on the 25th, I know it doesn't seem long, but it's been the best six months of my life!

shellyboo

MeMyself&I wrote: »

mmmm....i think some people or missing the point of my story.

Im not talking about the meaning of happiness.

We are though, lol

I didn't mean to hijack your thread... but I just wanted to make the point that women can be "blissfully happy" with or without a man. Your original post made out like the only ray of light for women despairing of men is that there are good men out there - but we shouldn't need that to be happy.

Do you get what I mean? I'm in no way trying to run you down, I love the fact that this thread is so positive... I just think the alternative to being miserable, single, or in a bad relationship isn't JUST to be in a good relationship. It's possible to be happy alone.

Why can't we use the thread to celebrate both?! They're both equally valid!

MeMyself&I wrote: »

I want people to know that not all relationships are bad.

Of course they're not! And I just wanted people to know that being alone isn't all bad either.

Jules

Great points all round, you have to be able to love yourself before you can love anyone else. And be happy with your own company before you can be happy with anothers.

It is nice to see a happy relationship thread, but its nice to see the im happily single posts too.... the more the merrier!

mollybird

ya my guy is pretty amazing. he was right under my nose for years and never noticed him. we are together 2 and a half years and are really happy. currently looking into a place for us to move in together and can't wait.

he is always there for me when things are bad and always there when things are crazy. right now he is up the walls in work and is too tired and i know i moan about him not doing his half of coming up to see me. no one is perfect. and because both of us know it, makes us all the happier to be with each other:D

candy-gal1

im with my boyf now over a year n its perfect!!!!!
we really are soulm8s!!! sry to sound sad but tis true!!!

wev got all the ****ty rows outta the way now, which were only really little 1s, n now everything is soooo good!!!

dont let bad stuff get u down, every1 will meet their prince!!!!

MeMyself&I

Yes Yes Yes, everyone is right.

I was single forever (until i was 26), and i was very happy, i suppose i just met someone at the right time.

Thank you everyone for sharing their stories...i hope there will me loads more.

I wish my boyfriend was here tonight though

Snowie

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think that our first primary relationship in which we need to be happy is with ourselves. A bf/gf comes after that and should add to our measure of happiness
but not be our happiness.

I hope the person in your life MeMyself&I does that for you but tbh
better to be happy on your own then with someone who is making you miserable.

Im trying no to post to much in hear after all its thew ladys lounge

But you should call your self obie onet and have a light saber....

Wise Words..

Max Power1

candy-gal1 wrote: »

im with my boyf now over a year n its perfect!!!!!
we really are soulm8s!!! sry to sound sad but tis true!!!

wev got all the ****ty rows outta the way now, which were only really little 1s, n now everything is soooo good!!!

dont let bad stuff get u down, every1 will meet their prince!!!!

Hah i can only echo the above sentiment... (candy-gal1 is my OH lol)

ever since the 8th of december 2007 i have found my true soulmate and life partner..... our love and happiness together knows no bounds.

MeMyself&I

Yes but i never said i wasnt happy with me. Im extremely happy with me, and my relationship with...me myself and I

I was just very happy with boyfriend today, and wanted to tell everybody...i actually wanted to post this on my social network site, but he would have killed me.

MeMyself&I

Max Power1 wrote: »

Hah i can only echo the above sentiment... (candy-gal1 is my OH lol)

ever since the 8th of december 2007 i have found my true soulmate and life partner..... our love and happiness together knows no bounds.

Ah cute....but my boyfriend would never say anything like that...:eek:

Uh oh, i spoke to soon, better rethink my views here!!!!

Madame Razz

I was happy as a singleton, in fact I embraced it; I don't believe in going out with somebody for the sake of it.

Plenty of arseholes out there though, and I must admit, even as a singleton out for some fun, it's hard not to be disillusioned about men to a certain extent; or even to hate them in a weird little way.


Until you meet somebody right that is......

I had a very nonchalant attitude to men, borne of being happy and confident on my own, and also of the one or two arsehole encounters I had the 'pleasure' of experiencing.

I could take them or leave them....

Then I met my OH; and I just couldn't be nonchalant where he was concerned. Try though I may, I didn't want to be; I couldn't.

So ultimately another person can't make you happy, but the right guy can extend and further enhance that happiness.


I too am extremely happy and satisfied in my current relationship. We click, we trust each other, it's so easy.... you get the picture.


He's away alot, which is difficult, but I know he's worth the wait. In fact if he was gone for a year I would happily wait for him. Happily.


Good men ftw;)

watna

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think that our first primary relationship in which we need to be happy is with ourselves. A bf/gf comes after that and should add to our measure of happiness
but not be our happiness.

I hope the person in your life MeMyself&I does that for you but tbh
better to be happy on your own then with someone who is making you miserable.

Was just having a conversation with my OH about this the other day.

We're as happy as can be together - I couldn't ask for a better bf. We both have bad exes who could have treated us better but both of us have agreed that this was not entirely our fault. We weren't secure and happy in ourselves so we accepted second best. My OH was saying he was very insecure and jealous with his ex but with me, that's never an issue and he thinks it has a lot to do with him and where he is and not just the type of person I am. I'm not as eager to please as I was with my ex and am more myself with my OH.

I think we're blissfully happy with each other, because we were happy and secure before we met and we just add to that in each other. That "he's my best freind" thing sounds so cliched but it's so true - there's nothing we won't talk about with each other. Sometime we laugh at how intimate our conversations are!

There is a lot of bad ones out there but lots of good ones too!

jellie

first, i just wanna say that im happy for all you lucky ladies who have found decent men but theres something about this thread that bothers me slightly.

There seems to be a lot of women around who cant be happy unless their in a relationship.. Its everywhere.

The focus here is all on how happy people are cause theyre in a relationship. Personally id rather be happy on my own. I dont want my own happiness to depend on anyone but me. Sure, its nice to have someone who can make me happy, but I want to be happy for and because of myself.

Ive been single for about 9 months now & when im feeling down or missing my ex at all (its rare, but it happens!) ive often been told "oh you need to find yourself a new man!". No, actually, i dont. What i need to do is get used to being me & get over him.

& while it hasnt been great all the time, ive really begun to get to know & like myself since ive been single. I lost a lot of myself in that relationship.. not on purpose, and yeah it was my own fault, but now that im single im seeing what happened. Its like im getting to know who I am, & i really like this person i have loads of new hobbies, i have a new figure, a new social life.

im not saying that people in relationships arent happy - not at all. & im certainly not saying that youve lost yourself as soon as you become part of a couple, that was a mistake of mine.. not everything, but bits of me slowly seemed to fade or something (this is sounding weird, i hope im making sense..). Im just making the point that having a relationship is not the be all & end all to being happy. if that relationship enhances your happiness then brilliant, im really happy for you i have friends that have really great relationships & its great to see. & hopefully theres some mr. perfect out there for me somewhere :P BUT if theres not, im not going to spend my life waiting around for some man to make me happy. id rather be blissfully happy for just me & my life

MeMyself&I

Oh my sweet god, will someone please read the start of this thread.

All i wanted was to show a few people that had bad experiences with men, that they are not all like this. too many negative relationship stories around. I wanted to share a positive one.

Im not happy just cos i have a fella, im happy with my life,and im happy that he is there to share it with me.

Mr. Frost

sar84 wrote: »

first, i just wanna say that im happy for all you lucky ladies who have found decent men but theres something about this thread that bothers me slightly.

There seems to be a lot of women around who cant be happy unless their in a relationship.. Its everywhere.

The focus here is all on how happy people are cause theyre in a relationship. Personally id rather be happy on my own. I dont want my own happiness to depend on anyone but me. Sure, its nice to have someone who can make me happy, but I want to be happy for and because of myself.

Ive been single for about 9 months now & when im feeling down or missing my ex at all (its rare, but it happens!) ive often been told "oh you need to find yourself a new man!". No, actually, i dont. What i need to do is get used to being me & get over him.

& while it hasnt been great all the time, ive really begun to get to know & like myself since ive been single. I lost a lot of myself in that relationship.. not on purpose, and yeah it was my own fault, but now that im single im seeing what happened. Its like im getting to know who I am, & i really like this person i have loads of new hobbies, i have a new figure, a new social life.

im not saying that people in relationships arent happy - not at all. & im certainly not saying that youve lost yourself as soon as you become part of a couple, that was a mistake of mine.. not everything, but bits of me slowly seemed to fade or something (this is sounding weird, i hope im making sense..). Im just making the point that having a relationship is not the be all & end all to being happy. if that relationship enhances your happiness then brilliant, im really happy for you i have friends that have really great relationships & its great to see. & hopefully theres some mr. perfect out there for me somewhere :P BUT if theres not, im not going to spend my life waiting around for some man to make me happy. id rather be blissfully happy for just me & my life

Thanks. I wanted to write that but couldn't be bothered!

Mr. Frost

MeMyself&I wrote: »

Oh my sweet god, will someone please read the start of this thread.

All i wanted was to show a few people that had bad experiences with men, that they are not all like this. too many negative relationship stories around. I wanted to share a positive one.

Im not happy just cos i have a fella, im happy with my life,and im happy that he is there to share it with me.

I know and that's fine. SAR wasn't having a go at you, just picking on how it seems for a lot of girls and I'd have to agree. I know single girls that complain because they're not in relationships - what SAR said, for some it seems their happiness depends on it and I get that too from this thread is all.

And while I'm at it, I'd just like to ad that of course I support these 'happy threads' but perhaps it should be about happy relationship stories as opposed to 'I'm happy, a'int life grand?!'

jellie

MeMyself&I wrote: »

Oh my sweet god, will someone please read the start of this thread.

All i wanted was to show a few people that had bad experiences with men, that they are not all like this. too many negative relationship stories around. I wanted to share a positive one.

Im not happy just cos i have a fella, im happy with my life,and im happy that he is there to share it with me.

relax.

i DID read from the start of the thread.

& if YOU read what I wrote you will see i wasnt having a go at you at all. i was just making an observation about how some people seem to think you need to be a relationship to be happy.

& you will see i also said that its great for everyone who IS happy in their relationship.

midlandsmissus

I agree with Sar84.

Being blatantly honest I think other people's love stories are never interesting, they just make me want to reach for the bucket, especially when people start going over the top.

It's only interesting to YOU that you 're SO IN LOVE, over the moon with bursting joy, feel like you could rule the world with the power of love together etc.....picture tom cruise jumping on a couch, cringe!

For the record I'm in a relationship for 2 years and very happy, but I certainly wouldn't wax lyrical to my friends/anyone else cause i know how cringey it is when they do it!!!

And im not having a go at you op, just my opinion

And you definitely don't need a man to be happy. Love yourself gals!

CathyMoran

When I hear of other people in love it makes me smile and reminds me of my other half, maybe that is just me. With my husband 11.5 years now so it is not the first flush of romance. A while ago we faced loosing one another (in this life) and it made me realise what is important - him/us! While I agree that you can be happy on your own, you have to be before you can be with someone, being with the right person is magical. From a hopeful romantic.

*Honey*

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I agree with Sar84.

Being blatantly honest I think other people's love stories are never interesting, they just make me want to reach for the bucket, especially when people start going over the top.

It's only interesting to YOU that you 're SO IN LOVE, over the moon with bursting joy, feel like you could rule the world with the power of love together etc.....picture tom cruise jumping on a couch, cringe!

For the record I'm in a relationship for 2 years and very happy, but I certainly wouldn't wax lyrical to my friends/anyone else cause i know how cringey it is when they do it!!!

And im not having a go at you op, just my opinion

And you definitely don't need a man to be happy. Love yourself gals!

But if it's not interesting to you, why read a thread that's called "Blissfully Happy"?

Also, I think that things may have been taken out of context... I read the full thread and didn't notice a vibe of "I have to have a partner to be happy" (I say partner rather than man as I'm sure that some people on here have OH's of the same sex). In fact, people, several times, pointed out that it was important to like yourself in order to feel happy in a relationship. You need to be a full rounded person - where some people become "personality sponges" it just spells trouble.

Given I was 36 when I met my hubby, I'd have been a pretty sad creature if I wasn't a whole, rounded person before I met him. I don't like the idea that some people need another person to make them whole ... for me, my hubby doesn't complete me, he extends me... I was a pretty ok person as singleton but the combo of me and him makes us both better for knowing and loving each other. Symbiosis perhaps?

*Honey*

CathyMoran wrote: »

When I hear of other people in love it makes me smile and reminds me of my other half, maybe that is just me. With my husband 11.5 years now so it is not the first flush of romance. A while ago we faced loosing one another (in this life) and it made me realise what is important - him/us! While I agree that you can be happy on your own, you have to be before you can be with someone, being with the right person is magical. From a hopeful romantic.

I cannot agree with you more on this - in my relationship we've had to cope with the loss of two babies, and we are stronger and better for having gone through it together. It made us realise that we are the most important thing in our lives, probably not in anyone else's but that's ok. As long as things are good with us, between us, we can cope with anything else that life throws at us. I wouldn't have wanted to learn that lesson in that way but such is life at times.

Wooder79

Hi Honey....you you mind me asking...did you used to post on the VHI site under the name Lonely?...If so this is Val from that thread...I hope it is you as I have thought about Lonely, Hubby and her two Angels over the time since the discussion board there was closed....when I go in to church to light candles I still light one each for little Abby and Ava.

Regardless I'm delighted you too got through to the other side of such an ordeal...there's no underestimating what being in a strong relationship can help you survive...be it marriage, good friendship or having family support. Those of us who are lucky enough to have all three are blessed.

jellie

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I agree with Sar84.

Being blatantly honest I think other people's love stories are never interesting, they just make me want to reach for the bucket, especially when people start going over the top.

It's only interesting to YOU that you 're SO IN LOVE, over the moon with bursting joy, feel like you could rule the world with the power of love together etc.....picture tom cruise jumping on a couch, cringe!

i think i mightve been misunderstood in there somewhere.. i didnt mean to dismiss anyones relationships, & its nice to hear about people being so happy. i like hearing about romantic stories & cool ways people met etc i just felt that there was a vibe of "see! you can be happy like we are if you find a man!"

CathyMoran wrote: »

When I hear of other people in love it makes me smile and reminds me of my other half, maybe that is just me. With my husband 11.5 years now so it is not the first flush of romance. A while ago we faced loosing one another (in this life) and it made me realise what is important - him/us! While I agree that you can be happy on your own, you have to be before you can be with someone, being with the right person is magical. From a hopeful romantic.

This post made me smile this is the kind of post i mean by liking hearing romantic stories i can almost feeeeeeeeeel the love & happiness, youre a lucky lady

Salome

I was 35 when I met my OH, I had been through some dodgy relationships before that. I was single off and on for a long time too, watching my friends settle down and have kids - not jealous or resentful of them but envious.

I had come to terms with not meeting anyone and I was pretty content with myself. I have a good and interesting job which allows me to travel and meet lots of different people so I wasn't lacking anything.

But then I met him. We're together 2 years now and are working on buying a home together. We would have survived if we hadn't have met though - you shouldn't rely on another person to make you content though but we are very happy.

I agree that you must be happy in your own skin before you can be in the right frame of mind to allow someone to get under it!