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Jokes

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  • 09-03-2009 2:56pm
    #1
    gerTheGreat
    Registered Users Posts: 871 ✭✭✭


    A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."

    "One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.

    The barman replied, "Yes."

    So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"

    "Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."

    "How much money?" inquires the guy.

    "Four cents," he replies.

    "Four cents?!" exclaims the guy.

    "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

    The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

    The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"

    The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

    This guys walks into a bar and the bartender immediately notices how depressed this guy is. "Give me a beer", said the guy.

    "Sure thing," said the bartender, "by the way, why the long face?

    "I just found out my oldest son is gay", replied the guy.

    The next day the same guy walks back into the bar and orders a beer and a few shots of whiskey.

    "Whats wrong now?", asked the bartender noticing he is twice as depressed as the day before.

    "I just found out my youngest son is gay too."

    The next day the same guy walks in with tears pouring out of his eyes.

    "God doesn't anyone in your house like girls?", asked the bartender.

    The guy said, "Yeah, my wife!"

    A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?"

    After quickly downing his drink, the man replied, "I got home and found my wife having sex with my best friend."

    "Wow," exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple scotch. "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house."

    As the man downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him, "What did you do?"

    "I walked over to my wife," the man replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out."

    "That makes sense," said the bartender, "but what about your friend?"

    The man replied, "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said, 'BAD DOG!'


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    #2
    dh0661
    Registered Users Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭dh0661


    gerTheGreat wrote: »
    "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said, 'BAD DOG!'

    Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh - I thought it was going to be something else


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