Thinking of quitting

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I'm not an alcoholic (though I suppose that's exactly what an alcoholic would say), I'm only twenty, been drinking since I was fourteen or fifteen, for large periods of that time (particularly the summers when I was 16 and 18) I drank almost every day and quite heavily, but I definitely wouldn't say I have a problem. However I am considering quitting the drink for a few reasons

1. Trying to get my life under control, especially financially. The usual routine is, somebody says "Arra sure come on, we'll go for one" and I reply "Fine, but I've only a fiver, so it's SERIOUSLY only one this time" then after the first one I'm either enjoying myself too much or no-one else wants to leave, so I run out to the atm and take out a twenty and BAM that's gone. Or on a night out I go out without my ATM card so I won't spend too much, but after a few drinks my priorities change so I borrow money. Then I wake up the next morning still with ****ed priorities and think "It's much more important that I get more sleep than I make it to my first couple of lectures." I really can't afford to be spending that much money or missing so many mornings.

2. Health. Quite aside from the binge drinking dangers, when I'm drunk I smoke way more, put myself in serious physical danger (walking home alone, one night stands, running out in front of cars, falling all over the place etc), eat crap food and then wake up with a hangover and a nicotine build up so I sit on my arse all day eating crap and smoking like a trooper.

3. I'm a messy drunk. I'm not aggressive, I'm very affectionate and earnest and generally annoying and embarassing. There's a few PIs going on at the minute with family and friends, and they've definitely been exacerbated by my drunken behaviour. I'm sick of waking up with a very vague idea of what I may or may not have done or said the night before, but yet the most acute and specific sense of shame:p

4.Not drinking is alright! Due to dire finances, I've had a couple of almost sober nights out recently and they were fine! I've also been paying more attention to my few friends who don't drink too much, and they seem to survive ok

See, it does get tricky because most of my close friends (whom I love very dearly) drink on an epic scale. Quitting straight up would, I think, be taken quite personally by them, and would be very difficult for me. So I have a kind of plan. Obviously drastically cut down on drinking-maybe have a can or two at home and a pint or two out rather than a naggin at home and four or five pints and a couple of shots out. But, while cutting down on actual alcohol consumption make the effort to actually go out more, both to demonstrate to my friends that I've not turned into a dry ****e, and to acclimatise myself to going out without being hammered. After I'm used to that, cut it out completely.

So, for other people who've quit drinking, do you have any advice? How do you deal with the "Are you after getting boring?" question? How hard did you find it to socialise without alcohol? And, most urgently, how does Paddy's day tend to go?

RealEstateKing

So, for other people who've quit drinking, do you have any advice? How do you deal with the "Are you after getting boring?" question? How hard did you find it to socialise without alcohol? And, most urgently, how does Paddy's day tend to go?

The are you getting boring question is constant. Most Irish people fun without being under the influence of booze, so they do tend to think of you as a bit of a martian or a bore if you dont drink.

This attitude, of course, is rather like saying that somebody who doesnt look at porn is probably bad in bed. Porn is to real sex, as booze is to real fun, a fake synthesised replacement for the real thing, so giving it up, atcually makes you MORE fun not less.

Ive lost count of the amount of times Ive been at parties, still dancing and chatting at 5 AM while my drunk friends have crashed out/are too drunk to speak, or have gotten all melancholy and depressive.

Do I find it hard to socialise without alcohol? At first a little bit, cause Id never done it before. Now, I enjoy it more. I go to a party knowing that I wont wake up feeling like **** the next day while only barely remembering it. This makes me more relaxed, and enjoy the party more.

However the thing you do lose is the bull**** part: Alcohol makes you like people that you dont really like, it makes you enjoy conversations that are actually pretty crap, fancy women you dont fancy, and want to stay for 5 hours in a pub you'd normally avoid.

So when you take it away, you have to be more selective about what you do: You have to go to a GOOD party, not just any old party where there's booze. You have to talk to people who are clever and interesting, not yak crap with a bunch of dickheads you temporarily think are your best mates.

This can mean occassionally you will go to a party that just isnt very good, and you'll be bored. You wont be smashed off your nuts in a kitchen in a grubby flat in Rathmines thinking, "This is the besht night of my life!"

To some this may seem like a bad thing, to me its great. As somebody cleverer than me once said "I dont drink because I like to know when Im having a good time."

One downside is you lose the ability to think that sitting at the same table in the same pub for 5 or 6 hours is a pleasant way to spend an evening. House parties are still fun, gigs are better than ever, niteclubs are good if the music is, but pubs are dull, dull, dull. You'll find yourself thinking: "We've been sitting at this table for 4 hours now, cant we DO something!" - but to your drunk mates its a little slice of heaven. This can be annoying: Try cultivating friendships with non-Irish people if you want to avoid this: Most of them understand the concept of real fun a little better.

cantdecide

Dear God, when I was your age, the girls drank to a suicidal level which was very un-nerving to me as the only sober one. I'm glad some of them have their heads screwed enough to think maybe it's not right...

You do have to prepare yourself to have to tiptoe around certain 'friends'. People have been anywhere between openly distrustful, downright rude, all the way over to very engaging and accepting (ie, these are obviously my real friends).

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

cantdecide wrote: »

You do have to prepare yourself to have to tiptoe around certain 'friends'. People have been anywhere between openly distrustful, downright rude, all the way over to very engaging and accepting (ie, these are obviously my real friends).

Yeah, I'm very wary of that I don't plan tell many friends, I'll just let them figure it out gradually! I reckon as long as I always keep a glass of 7up or whatever in my hand at a club or pub people won't ask me if I want a drink and hopefully the issue won't arise until I've been off it a while.

RealEstateKing wrote: »

Do I find it hard to socialise without alcohol? At first a little bit, cause Id never done it before. Now, I enjoy it more. I go to a party knowing that I wont wake up feeling like **** the next day while only barely remembering it. This makes me more relaxed, and enjoy the party more.

However the thing you do lose is the bull**** part: Alcohol makes you like people that you dont really like, it makes you enjoy conversations that are actually pretty crap, fancy women you dont fancy, and want to stay for 5 hours in a pub you'd normally avoid.

So when you take it away, you have to be more selective about what you do: You have to go to a GOOD party, not just any old party where there's booze. You have to talk to people who are clever and interesting, not yak crap with a bunch of dickheads you temporarily think are your best mates.

.

True dat :cool: the last couple of (almost sober) nights out I did a lot more dancing and a lot less sitting on me arse than I'd usually do, but still, around the three hour mark, when everyone else was either slumped against the wall or having the time of their lives I was getting a bit bored. I've no bother sitting around for a few hours chatting once in a while or spending the night dancing, but I'd imagine when I'm doing that 3 or 4 nights a week it's going to get pretty old pretty quick...I'll definitely start making the effort to go to more house-parties

Genghiz Cohen

Taking the mick out of drunk friends, setting them up with... the less beautiful lets say, the getting pictures and such is all great fun, asking semi-complex questions and watching them fall over themselvs trying to figure it out is a laugh too.

Learn a few magic tricks, that can make a night.
If you can safely go out and not drink, having a car is a great way to make the entire night easier.
BUT!
Make a deal, that if anyone pukes in the car they have to clean it from bonnet to boot the next day. Wash, hoover polish, the works.

bletherlass31

those reasons you listed for quitting, are the same reasons i quit,
but i found out i was an alcoholic, because i tried so many times on my own to stop but i always ended up going back drinking, i was just a weekend drinker too. started at 17 and finished up at 25. unmanageable life because i cudnt handle my drink, that atm thing was always at that even my credit card got hammered in the end with me!!
its not easy being out in the pub and being the only one in the group not drinking, its ****e listening to the same all conversations over and over.#
there are so many benifits to not drinking though you go home loolking just as good as you did going out (as in no streaky make up and blurry eyes ripped clothes lost bags/jackets/wallets and empty ones at that.
i know everyone isnt an alcoholic that finds it hard to socialise without a drink, its not an easy thing to do nowadays but my hats are off to us that can! good luck to you!!!