What's my problem?

Flipperflapper

hi

I have a problem: when it comes to being intimate with man, I find it really hard to switch my brain off which results in a no orgasm situation.

I think I don't have enough confidence in myself and my appearance which is affecting the situation. My brain is wurring away thinking of other things and can't focus on the situation at hand. When I'm in my right mind I know that I'm being silly, my boyfriend loves me and he doesn't care how I look but that doesn't stop the little negative voice in my head.

I don't know what to do. Just wondered if anyone else has this problem, if I'm the only weirdo or if anyone has any tips for making it work!

I'm frustrated in every sense of the word!

petes

Think of it this way. The person is there with so they are obviously attracted to you.

panda100

You are not being silly! And this is not just YOUR problem, its a massive problem for a huge amount of women.

I really find it difficult to switch of my brain when getting intimate with someone. In particular I am just constantly thinking wether he's turned on by me and my body. I find that I get more focussed on me and evaluating myself rather than just letting loose and enjoying the experience. I find that I try and put myself in the 'erotic' positions you see in films/magazines. However, they are not erotic postions for me and I find myself just posing to look sexy for him. Stupid I know!

Here are a list of things I worry about:
My stomach- which is now evolving into a bit of a beer belly. I used to try and hold it in but you cant relax when your tensing your stomach muscles.
My breasts- are they too droopy/too small?They seem too flat and go to the side when I lie down.
My bum-too flabby and not tight and pert
My thighs- definatly too flabby and not toned. Also there seems to be a bit of cellulite forming cos Ive put on a lot of weight over the last year.
Hairyness- Can he feel/see hair on my legs or armpits. Am I too hairy down 'there'?
Underwear-Is it sexy enough or do I look stupid

You just feel hes going to be comparing you with this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP0ZxnRG3ZY or this http://www.adsneeze.com/media/2008/02/petra-nemcova-2.jpg

All I can say is that little negative voice we hear in our heads is not coming from us. Its coming from years and years of adverts/media/films telling us what we SHOULD look like. It maybe a cliche but the most beautiful thing about men and women is that we all look different. Each persons feels completely different to touch,feel,smell etc. So just be positive that you are the only you and that is unique.

Over the last year I have completly changed my attitude in how I look and how I feel about myself. This boost of confidence makes me feel that any guy is lucky to be in bed with me and my sex life has gone from dull to divine!

idontknowmyname

I'm the exact same!! can't switch off! it's so frustrating!

fasty

I've been with women who are like that and I found it really tough. I can understand having thoughts like that going over and over in your head. I actually wish I knew what I could do about it.

panda100

fasty wrote: »

I've been with women who are like that and I found it really tough. I can understand having thoughts like that going over and over in your head. I actually wish I knew what I could do about it.

Reassure them that their beautiful

Joey the lips

I hear you but dont understand why if you man is semsitive why cant you just enjoy him and him enjoy you. The problem might be in the fact you have not discovered how to orgasim yet?

Have you tried to satasfy yourself?

That way you can show your fella what he needs to do.

Have you tried different positions

Those which help stim the clit more.

I always tell the o/h to stop worry about her apperence and enjoy the pleasure. Sometimes she has discovered this well!

Find yourself than you can teach the o/h to find you.

If you to embarresed as him what he would like you to do in a turnmaking role,

Good luck and enjoy!