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Stupidest reason for being dumped

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    #32
    TheInquisitor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,530 ✭✭✭TheInquisitor


    star-pants wrote: »
    first time I wasn't told, he officially got back with an ex and i found out through a friend. (he'd also cheated)

    next time I got the ignored for a bit & when i asked what was up I was told 'i dont wanna be thinking about someone else all the time' (he'd also cheated)

    third time... eh.... oh 'i don't think i can do this' but we weren't officially dating

    fourth time, got ignored mostly for a week and tried to pin him down - said 'eh, i just don't see us going anywhere'. A week later had hooked up with someone, and over 2yrs later they're still together. (so he possibly cheated)

    fifth time, was 'sick' at the weekend and didn't want to give me his cold, few days later said he'd call up (and bring my stuff w/him) so i'd an idea, went for a drive, bantered as normal, pulled up outside the house I went to get out so we could go inside and he goes 'actually I came here to talk' and 'the sparks gone' (can't fault him for that)
    he was seeing someone a few months later and together bout...year and half? moving country for her too.

    sixth time, perfect, all good, then ignored and get an email saying it's over, all my fault etc etc. And won't talk to me.

    there won't be a chance for a seventh time I tell you.

    Ummmm i hate to say this but 6 times....Do you possibly think it might be you>?


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    #33
    who007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 711 ✭✭✭who007


    TheInquisitor wrote: »
    Ummmm i hate to say this but 6 times....Do you possibly think it might be you>?

    ehm.. I'd hope the number of times you're dumped doesn't relate to what kind of person you are or I would be in therapy for years!


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    #34
    TheInquisitor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,530 ✭✭✭TheInquisitor


    who007 wrote: »
    ehm.. I'd hope the number of times you're dumped doesn't relate to what kind of person you are or I would be in therapy for years!

    Times dumped 0. Times i've dumped a girl 2. Victory! I'm actually a really nice guy...ha ha ha


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    #35
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,144 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    TheInquisitor wrote: »
    Ummmm i hate to say this but 6 times....Do you possibly think it might be you>?
    Maybe, but it well simply be that she either hasn't found the right fit for her, or she maybe looking for the wrong fit in the first place, or she may have just been unlucky.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #36
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    TheInquisitor wrote: »
    Ummmm i hate to say this but 6 times....Do you possibly think it might be you>?
    you clearly don't hate to say it that much, cuz you said it!
    yes, must be me... I'll just go curl up in a corner and die, clearly no point in trying anymore....


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    #37
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    who007 wrote: »
    ehm.. I'd hope the number of times you're dumped doesn't relate to what kind of person you are or I would be in therapy for years!

    Or could it be that she dated spineless, ballless twats who didnt deserve her? dumped by email ffs..thats low, regardless of anything!


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    #38
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,144 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I would look at it this way, if I have to go through meeting, dating 100 women and none pan out, but I meet the 101st and she's right for me and I'm right for her. Result. Plus I'll know far more that she's the right one for me than someone who married the second person they fell for.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #39
    Rayne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭Rayne


    who007 wrote: »
    When I was 16: "I heard you were going to dump me so I wanted to do it first".

    I thought I was the only one who'd ever gotten that line!
    When I look back now :rolleyes:


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    #40
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I don't know about the breaking via email being that bad in every circumstance tbh.
    I would never break up via text but I have done the email/letter laying out in black and white why I can no longer have someone in my life.

    IT's the dear John/Jane letter and sometimes given how emotionally charged or negatively charged a relationship has become it can be for the best.

    Not that it's easy to write or easy to get but sometimes it's needed as the couple
    are just not communicating in person what so ever.


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    #41
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Remember the movie Bedazzled with Brenden Fraser ? He is on the beach with some lovely till she spots Handsome Adonis and ol Brenden gets sand kicked in his face by Adonis .

    Brilliant ! :D

    Actually I think it's best be honest to just tell the person he / she it's not going anywere but also take there feelings and sensitivities into account while doing so .


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    #42
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    TheInquisitor wrote: »
    Ummmm i hate to say this but 6 times....Do you possibly think it might be you>?

    It might be. You might be a very optimistic person, willing to think the best of others all the time.

    You might have a very trusting character, and find it hard to reconcile the people you want your boyfriends to be, with the people they are.

    You might be an extraordinarily good person, and project the same qualities onto others.

    You might be a very honest, very open person, and expect the same from others.

    You might treat others with nothing but respect and courtesy, and are let down by the lack of the same qualities in others.

    You might indeed be the reason, but it doesn't mean the reason is a bad thing.


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    #43
    who007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 711 ✭✭✭who007


    TheInquisitor wrote: »
    Times dumped 0. Times i've dumped a girl 2. Victory! I'm actually a really nice guy...ha ha ha

    Yes that's absolutely fantastic. Such an immense wealth of experience has resulted in your mature outlook on human interaction obviously.

    OP, I wouldn't take it as being significant tbh. Like Wibbs pointed out there about the 101st being right, I think being "dumped" is actually a healthy tool for figuring out relationships and what you want and might feel you are willing to give from/to them.

    Why is it though, that people tend to use such a horrible expression? being "dumped". I prefer to say I broke it off with someone or they me cos "dumped" as an expression has conotations of someone being like a piece of rubbish..


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    #44
    Kya1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,879 ✭✭✭Kya1976


    This was years back, he said that he liked me too much:rolleyes: He was my first real boyfriend, I was heartbroken after dumped me.


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    #45
    Polleta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 96 ✭✭Polleta


    This has made me realise that I have yet to be dumped...

    All my splits have been very amicable except one where he cheated on me.. though I had to kick him out of bed when I found out as he was perfectly happy having his cake and eating it. Believe it or not he asked why I was dumping him?! Um HELLO!

    First guy I told him I wanted to be single(I really did I was single pretty much for two years after that til I met cheater boy)

    Last guy we both decided the LDR was too hard with no end in sight and our lives were going in different directions in the mean time.


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    #46
    Ave Sodalis
    Registered Users Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭Ave Sodalis


    I didnt get this but a friend: Ya give too many xs on messages:eek:

    Too many xs....worst excuse ever.!!


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    #47
    Rozabeez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,878 ✭✭✭Rozabeez


    "You make my skin crawl and I can't take it anymore", I'm sure I used nicer words though.


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    #48
    Cmol
    Closed Accounts Posts: 732 ✭✭✭Cmol


    Ive posted this somewhere else before - best one for me was "I just dont feel I'm putting God first in my life anymore"

    Ehh yeah ok buddy ... this is the same guy where, we were havin a bit of a smooch one day and he went off to the bathroom (heh heh) anyway, when he came back he said God had spoken to him and we should'nt be doing that anymore. He was a real party animal.

    Then the fu(ktard who said he was too young for 'all of this' (all of this being living together with vague plans to move overseas together) who then proceeded to get engaged to someone else within 6 weeks. I've heard some interesting things lately about the two of them which make me smile ... muhahahahaha ;)


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    #49
    Rhyme
    Registered Users Posts: 8,561 ✭✭✭Rhyme


    Cmol wrote: »
    "I just dont feel I'm putting God first in my life anymore"

    That's beautiful.


    I'm fully aware that some people would be entirely honest in saying this, i personally would laugh if someone said this to me.

    /politically correct


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    #50
    panda100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Kya1976 wrote: »
    This was years back, he said that he liked me too much:rolleyes: .

    Well thats the worst one ever really,beacuse you know its blatantly a lie.

    This thread has got me thinking.

    I have broken up with many men and usually the reason is because I dont think mentally or physically we are the right match.
    Is it better to tell the truth even if the truth is that you no longer find them attractive?
    Is this better then coming out with things that you both know are bullsh*t such as 'I like you too much' or 'its not you,its me'?
    If you lie like this then the person being dumped doesnt really get closure because he/she never knows really why you broke up with them?

    Is it better to be gentle and lie or to be harsh andtell the truth?Personally I would prefer to be told the truth so I know the real reasons.


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    #51
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,144 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Honesty is always a good plan, but I would think personally that you should still sugar the pill somewhat. I think there are some that can use "honesty" as much of an excuse as bull****ters do.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #52
    Clare Bear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭Clare Bear


    Cmol wrote: »
    Then the fu(ktard who said he was too young for 'all of this' (all of this being living together with vague plans to move overseas together) who then proceeded to get engaged to someone else within 6 weeks. I've heard some interesting things lately about the two of them which make me smile ... muhahahahaha ;)

    Oooooooooooooooooh what??? Tell us!! Tell us!! :pac:
    Thaedydal wrote: »
    I don't know about the breaking via email being that bad in every circumstance tbh.
    I would never break up via text but I have done the email/letter laying out in black and white why I can no longer have someone in my life.

    IT's the dear John/Jane letter and sometimes given how emotionally charged or negatively charged a relationship has become it can be for the best.

    Not that it's easy to write or easy to get but sometimes it's needed as the couple
    are just not communicating in person what so ever.


    I disagree. After being on the recieving end of one of those emails - which was also really well written and while he got everything out in the open, it still left me feeling like I wasn't worth a proper break up.


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    #53
    Cmol
    Closed Accounts Posts: 732 ✭✭✭Cmol


    Clare Bear wrote: »
    Oooooooooooooooooh what??? Tell us!! Tell us!! :pac:

    Heh heh shhhhhhhh I'm still waiting to get the full low down ;)


    Clare Bear wrote: »
    I disagree. After being on the recieving end of one of those emails - which was also really well written and while he got everything out in the open, it still left me feeling like I wasn't worth a proper break up.

    I might be wrong here, but I thought Thaed meant writing it down after the actual break up has happened?


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    #54
    anmhi02
    Registered Users Posts: 152 ✭✭anmhi02


    Yea like l was with this 'pillock' who bull###tted me for years....l eventually went off married someone else....he played the mind games ie now l want you. Ended up l seperated from my ex for different reasons, met up with the pillock again only to hear "love you always have, always will but dont know what l want"!!! He is still living at home with mammy and lm happy out without the useless cowardly git:D


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    #55
    Teh Noob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭Teh Noob


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    ''I just don't love you anymore''.

    pfft.

    Actually, to me this seems to be the best way of being dumped. Anything different and you'd spend next few months wondering what the hell is wrong with you.


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    #56
    Kya1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,879 ✭✭✭Kya1976


    panda100 wrote: »
    Well thats the worst one ever really,beacuse you know its blatantly a lie.
    ah well there was a story behind it so it wasn't completely a lie.:)


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    #57
    Caliden
    Registered Users Posts: 5,982 ✭✭✭Caliden


    Cmol wrote: »
    Heh heh shhhhhhhh I'm still waiting to get the full low down ;)




    spill the beans :D


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    #58
    **tulip**
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭**tulip**


    I was given the "i dont love you anymore" thing aswell, but i dont believe him! We've met up a few times since to talk about things and that obviously is not the case. There is an obvious spark there and we have slept together a few times since, with him making the first moves BTW so i really dont know where i stand now!

    Major confusion!!


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    #59
    Will
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    Was ignored by my then girlfriend for about 2 weeks. Finally she came over and gave me some crap excuse. I left the country a week later to come back to ireland.

    Was shown the door by a girl when i called over to her house to cook her dinner. She decided to tell me once the meal was eaten. Her reasons were numerous and absurd... she thought she was pregnant (we hadn't had sex), she wanted to be alone and to top it all off it was too late to get the bus home so i was stranded in her place for the night. Akward. After all that she still wanted to be friends... ha. I'd a lucky escape.

    Another girl told me she 'wasn't looking for anything serious' after ignoring me for a week. There's a few more im sure but can't remember em all.

    I just laugh about it now. Was very bitter and angry over it for quite some time, and also afraid to get attached for fear of rejection again. Things like this can really shake your confidence to the core. BUT it only takes 1 good experience to turn it all around again :)


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    #60
    RxQueen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,821 ✭✭✭RxQueen


    last ex broke up with me on the night out i had with him and my mates for my 21st!!! tbh it was only so he didnt have to get me a present, he said so in a roundabout way himself a while after.. cheapskate!

    i also, had the ignoring and stuff aswell..

    edit..

    just thought of another one, was trying to break up with someone, and went about it in the nicest way possible, he freaked out and said if i left him he would kill himself, so stupidly i stayed with him for another few months, cause obv i thought he was serious, things started to turn really bad obv enough, was out in the pub on night for a friend 21st (21st and me really dont get along) , we he started turning really jealous of me talking ot my cousion, and flipped, i just walked home and never looked back, he got with some one a few weeks later and are still together..

    he contacted me on msn recently and blamed me for him now not being able to love anyone anymore etc and asked me to get back with him (that putting it in a polite way!... ! had a good escape! :pac:!


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    #61
    Caliden
    Registered Users Posts: 5,982 ✭✭✭Caliden


    emo!! wrote: »
    last ex broke up with me on the night out i had with him and my mates for my 21st!!! tbh it was only so he didnt have to get me a present, he said so in a roundabout way himself a while after.. cheapskate!

    i also, had the ignoring and stuff aswell..

    edit..

    just thought of another one, was trying to break up with someone, and went about it in the nicest way possible, he freaked out and said if i left him he would kill himself, so stupidly i stayed with him for another few months, cause obv i thought he was serious, things started to turn really bad obv enough, was out in the pub on night for a friend 21st (21st and me really dont get along) , we he started turning really jealous of me talking ot my cousion, and flipped, i just walked home and never looked back, he got with some one a few weeks later and are still together..

    he contacted me on msn recently and blamed me for him now not being able to love anyone anymore etc and asked me to get back with him (that putting it in a polite way!... ! had a good escape! :pac:!


    hah sounds like a proper fruit cake. Shouldve left him on the first attempt


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