Your Ladies Lounge = Can we have your thoughts please!

Dragan

sar84 wrote: »

Theres a couple of posters at the moment that seem to be constantly trying to go "but what about men", & trolling constantly.

This can be very annoying to be honest, and should be stamped down on, i will absolutely agree with that. The post topic is the post topic at the end of the day.

Gauge

At the end of the day, what I was referring to, basically, is sh!t stirring masquerading as "the male opinion" or "the male side", thinly veiled digs at what that poster considers to be special or unequal treatment. We can all spot it a mile away, it's never discrete, and it's a minority of male posters. It doesn't contribute anything, and when you compare these posts to genuine opinions the differences and the underlying intent are all too obvious.

I know we're not supposed to single out people, when you take male posters like Dragan and compare his well thought out posts to the ones I'm talking about, the differences are all too apparent.

I hate to see it happen to interesting discussions because everything ends up being thrown off topic.

Galvasean

Havent really posted here in a bit but I have been keeping the odd eye on it.
I know this might sound incredibly ironic coming from me but, there are far too many men posting here. Well, the wrong kind of men anyway. I wont name names (becuase anyone who posts here semi-regularly knows exactly who these people are) that are just here to try ruffle the ladies' feathers.
So many threads have been getting derailed lately with snide/sleazy/pseudo-sexist comments, which female posters (understansably) get annoyed by, then all hel breaks lose.
I think certain posters need to be made examples of and given a lenghtly time out from the forum.
The forum just doesn't make for good reading anymore. It used to be an inviting mix of fun and more serious threads. Now its mostly a series of arguments involving trolls and tireless rebutters. There just seems to be a bad vibe about the place lately.

Also as a side note, perhaps men shouldn't be allowed start threads? Shellyboo's analogy about what the rugby forum would be like if every second thread was someone asking a noobish question really hit the nail on the head. Darn right it would annoy the locals so tLL should be no different.

Would it also be unreasonable to bar people from starting threads about 'nasty women in on nights out' and 'why are there no decent men left'? Maybe redirect such threads into a megamerge or something.

dfx-

Dragan wrote: »

I've started to think it's running along the lines of "we are all equal, but some are more equal than others".

At the end of the day we have a former Mod and some active ones saying they look at posts from males differently than posts from females.

The "Ladies" thing should cover the subject matter, nothing else. It's not a "womans forum" and never will while it is public, because people like me, the dreaded male, can post here.

Accept that, move on, make things better...don't stay banging the same drum when it's getting people nowhere.

:cool: *in lieu of multiple thanks button*

I've gathered myself..shellyboo, the psyche of a soccer fan (the oft damaged pride which it is) is clear to see from the posts on the individual games or whatever threads come up. There isn't a thread that says "discover and discuss soccer psyche here". And it's the same here. What subject matter is missing from tLL that would be in this community for women? What would the community of women talk about if there's nothing here that they want to talk about and when the subject matter isn't about women..

Similarly, Wibbs - what if there lots of rugby fans who also think that rugby is crap or needs rule changes (which it does to the recent ELV changes, speaking as an ex-player and strong fan) - what if the non-rugby fans are making a valid point in their threads? Men do here as well, considerably often..

sar84 wrote: »

but FFS learn to read the name of the forum & shut up.

:mad:

Nevyn

shellyboo

dfx- wrote: »

:cool: *in lieu of multiple thanks button*

I've gathered myself..shellyboo, the psyche of a soccer fan (the oft damaged pride which it is) is clear to see from the posts on the individual games or whatever threads come up. There isn't a thread that says "discover and discuss soccer psyche here". And it's the same here. What subject matter is missing from tLL that would be in this community for women? What would the community of women talk about if there's nothing here that they want to talk about and when the subject matter isn't about women..

Similarly, Wibbs - what if there lots of rugby fans who also think that rugby is crap or needs rule changes (which it does to the recent ELV changes, speaking as an ex-player and strong fan) - what if the non-rugby fans are making a valid point in their threads? Men do here as well, considerably often..



:mad:

Dfx, you're completely missing my entire point. It is not the subject matter I have the most problem with - yes the "Wimmins are <insert generalisation here>" threads are annoying, but I can quite easily ignore them.

What I cannot ignore is the attitude of some of the posters, mostly male posters, who post in the threads that I have an interest in. I will take any and all points as valid debate as long as they are made in a respectful, non-trollish, non-inflammatory manner.

And unfortunately, there are posters in here who are incapable of making a point without being inflammatory. In fact, it seems their whole purpose being in the forum is to make inflammatory statements, derailing threads and reducing everything to men vs women. It detracts from the actual discussion.

I said what I wanted to say in my post earlier where I used the pro wrestling forum analogy. All I'm asking for is that the forum be afforded the same respect that any other specialist forum would.

Wibbs

dfx- wrote: »

I've gathered myself..shellyboo, the psyche of a soccer fan (the oft damaged pride which it is) is clear to see from the posts on the individual games or whatever threads come up. There isn't a thread that says "discover and discuss soccer psyche here". And it's the same here. What subject matter is missing from tLL that would be in this community for women? What would the community of women talk about if there's nothing here that they want to talk about and when the subject matter isn't about women..

Anything they like as far as I'm concerned.

Similarly, Wibbs - what if there lots of rugby fans who also think that rugby is crap or needs rule changes (which it does to the recent ELV changes, speaking as an ex-player and strong fan) - what if the non-rugby fans are making a valid point in their threads? Men do here as well, considerably often..

Yes they do, but there is also a hell of a lot of noise too. Noise that puts off others from posting. Obviously this is a generalisation, but I've noted a slightly different take on discussion with women. Men are more antagonistic or can come across that way. That's fine. Diff styles, but when women have to defend themselves in thread every single bloody time, it get's fúcking old really quickly and I'm a bloke. If I had to defend myself(not my argument BTW) or have it dragged off topic for the same old bloody reasons every time I posted I wouldn't come back.

The wimmin jokes thread here was a good example of that. Some men, Dragan as a bloody good example, can dive in and raise eyebrows, even get people going as he may disagree, but he's never antagonistic and never trolly and works within this forum. He adds to any thread he hops in on. Brianthebards another obvious one and there's a fair few others too. The thing is that there were others that come on here who are never gonna be "Dragans" etc and frankly should not be here. Take it to AH if that's their thing.

Wibbs

shellyboo wrote: »

I said what I wanted to say in my post earlier where I used the pro wrestling forum analogy. All I'm asking for is that the forum be afforded the same respect that any other specialist forum would.

+1 as otherwise it will degenerate into AH with extra "chix". Sod that.

Nevyn

It is not a forum for discussion of/on women,
it is a forum for women to discuss life the universe and everything from a woman's point of view.

g'em

Thaedydal wrote: »

It is not a forum for discussion of/on women,
it is a forum for women to discuss life the universe and everything from a woman's point of view.

Best description yet. Thanks Thaed

Dragan

Thaedydal wrote: »

It is not a forum for discussion of/on women,
it is a forum for women to discuss life the universe and everything from a woman's point of view.

Coolers. Once I know the consensus at which the forum is being viewed then i am a lot happier.

Cheers!

JC 2K3

Thaedydal wrote: »

It is not a forum for discussion of/on women,
it is a forum for women to discuss life the universe and everything from a woman's point of view.

You know, that's a bit like this:


Men have a point of view on life, the universe and everything, whereas women have a woman's point of view.

To be perfectly honest, I see tLL as a mixture of a social forum primarily aimed at women, and a general life discussion forum, albeit with more threads about feminism etc.

Nevyn

I think at this stage this sites needs a general sicussion forum which is not AH.
TLL was not set up to be that.

shellyboo

JC 2K3 wrote: »

Men have a point of view on life, the universe and everything, whereas women have a woman's point of view.

Yes, men have a point of view... a men's point of view. There are more men on boards than there are women, so the men's point of view predominates in most of the other fora on boards. Which is why tLL was set up... that's the whole point.

jellie

i really dont understand why some men are having an issue with this being a forum for women its very hard to see whats being missed here as ive seen the point made loads, and said in a much better way than i have done, Shellyboo & Thaedyal have both put it excellently.

shellyboo

sar84 wrote: »

i really dont understand why some men are having an issue with this being a forum for women its very hard to see whats being missed here as ive seen the point made loads, and said in a much better way than i have done, Shellyboo & Thaedyal have both put it excellently.

To be fair to them, sar, I can see where they're coming from. If it was JUST a forum for women, it would be private and women-only. Men are welcome though, so they're questioning where all this criticism of the male members is coming from.

I personally like the fact that men can post (in theory - the practice leaves something to be desiered atm) and I wouldn't want tLL to become exclusive to women.

jellie

shellyboo wrote: »

To be fair to them, sar, I can see where they're coming from. If it was JUST a forum for women, it would be private and women-only. Men are welcome though, so they're questioning where all this criticism of the male members is coming from.

I personally like the fact that men can post (in theory - the practice leaves something to be desiered atm) and I wouldn't want tLL to become exclusive to women.

i agree with men being welcome, theres certainly many male posters who contribute greatly (& talk a lot more sense than some of the women!), but i feel that they should also accept that it is primarily aimed at women and stop questioning WHY.

WindSock

Thaedydal wrote: »

It is not a forum for discussion of/on women,
it is a forum for women to discuss life the universe and everything from a woman's point of view.

Yeah dude! FUBU, y'all.

LL was set up as a place where women could be the majoritive noise on the female orientated threads without being subjected to the usual jibes from all over the site. The male perspective is always welcome, Challenging, belittling and demeaning every post on every thread is not.

Jules

Ok, i think the Ladies of boards have made it very clear what they want this forum to be and the wheels are in motion to make the turn around to that very type of forum. I for one am very happy with the result of this thread and would like to thank everyone for being open and honest with their replies.

Jemmy

Sorry I know Ive arrived a bit late in the thread but...

I dont post in here so much anymore bcoz I was sick of seeing men coming in and making a joke out of things ladies said. It has nothing to do with posting more or less in other forums. The way I see it is, if a lady has an issue or emotion they want to express they should feel they can talk about it in tLL without smart comments on what they have said.

My point is I dont go into the mens health forum and make a joke about them, how they are feeling or what they are going through so why should they get away with doing it in here. Maybe that has stopped now I'm not 100% sure. I dont mind a bit of craic and slagging dont get me wrong, but when it came down to the more serious issues it really ticked me off.

Thats just my 2c on the Ladies Lounge. Maybe we should call it Womens Health! lol

cHaTbOx

I think there are a few too many stickies.
Kind of dominating the front page .
Maybe have 3-4 stickies at most ?

LightningBolt

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think at this stage this sites needs a general dicussion forum which is not AH.
TLL was not set up to be that.

shellyboo wrote: »

Yes, men have a point of view... a men's point of view. There are more men on boards than there are women, so the men's point of view predominates in most of the other fora on boards. Which is why tLL was set up... that's the whole point.

Agreed

Definitely in need of a more serious general discussion, the reason why you'd get men posting here is that topics are usually kept a bit more in line with what was originally posted as opposed to AH threads involving women which usually end up with women jokes, +1 whores and trolls. If there was a more general forum (not humanities or politics) I'd be more likely to post there rather than here leaving yourselves to discuss whatever it is that we do to annoy you all;)

Nevyn

LightningBolt wrote: »

Agreed

Definitely in need of a more serious general discussion, the reason why you'd get men posting here is that topics are usually kept a bit more in line with what was originally posted as opposed to AH threads involving women which usually end up with women jokes, +1 whores and trolls. If there was a more general forum (not humanities or politics) I'd be more likely to post there rather than here leaving yourselves to discuss whatever it is that we do to annoy you all;)

Well propose one in the forums forum.

John Mason

i find tll very exclusive, if you have opinions which differ from the majority, you are very much out of it,

i am a lady, i am more into the equality for all genders rather then then all men are bastards or women are better then men in everyway. my opinions dont sit well on this forum

this is why most intelligent women dont post here, they are just continiously shot down.

i also think the the private forum has a lot to do with it, which only leaves the men to post and the girls that the private forum dont like

Quality

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i also think the the private forum has a lot to do with it, which only leaves the men to post and the girls that the private forum dont like

More Clicks:mad:

Jemmy

i am a lady, i am more into the equality for all genders rather then then all men are bastards or women are better then men in everyway. my opinions dont sit well on this forum

this is why most intelligent women dont post here, they are just continiously shot down.

The LL is not all as you put 'men are bastards or women are better', and ive suddenly lost my intelligence bcoz I post in LL, wow thats unlucky.:(

i also think the the private forum has a lot to do with it, which only leaves the men to post and the girls that the private forum dont like

Private forums have nothing to do with it imo, there are loads of ppl in hosted forums and it doesnt stop them posting any less everywhere else.

So let just say it did well that means you would have maybe what 15 more ppl max posting in LL. You'd swear these 'private' forums were FULL of women! :rolleyes:

Quality wrote: »

More Clicks

No Quality there arent more clicks, hosted forums can be requested afaik if you wanted to start one up. There are alot of hosted forums that are never mentioned on boards that ppl dont even know about including myself.

Madame Razz

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i also think the the private forum has a lot to do with it, which only leaves the men to post and the girls that the private forum dont like

Saucer of milk table two anybody????

Quality wrote: »

More Clicks:mad:

I see the claws are out tonight:rolleyes:

Personally, (and it seems to be the general consensus within this thread), I stopped posting here cos of the constant kerbcrawling ambush.

It seems many of the ladies feel the same.

Heck, if it wasn't the case this thread wouldn't exist in the first place

I really don't think private forums have anything to do with it to be honest.

Well done to the stepping up of the moderation on here; really seems to be having an effect....cheers mods!!

Clare Bear

Why is there such a fuss being made over one private forum? Why don't other private forums get talked about like that? I'm not put out that I'm not a part of all the other private forums, I don't see why people should have a go at the one some of the girls set up. Anyone can set one up, it's no big deal. It didn't take away from tLL either, things were going downhill long before it was set up.

Quality

Clare Bear wrote: »

Why is there such a fuss being made over one private forum? Why don't other private forums get talked about like that? I'm not put out that I'm not a part of all the other private forums, I don't see why people should have a go at the one some of the girls set up. Anyone can set one up, it's no big deal. It didn't take away from tLL either, things were going downhill long before it was set up.

So what has the private forum got going for it that TLL doesn't?
Why is the private forum working?

Jules

I don't think anyone is having a go at the people who set up the private forum, fair play to them, each to their own etc.

And PFB, i completely disagree with your statement that most intelligent women don't post in here cuz they are shot down, no one is being shot down. We have stepped up moderation and come down harder on the lads, and things seemed to have turned around. If you have a different opinion, stand up and say it and be proud of it, don't let yourself be shouted down, if thats what you think is happening!