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Elvis vs. Jesus

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  • 17-03-2009 1:13pm
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users Posts: 3,354 ✭✭✭


    JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.
    JESUS was a carpenter. ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.
    JESUS was part of the Trinity. ELVIS' very first band was a trio.
    JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had
    12 members.
    JESUS is a Capricorn. (December 25) ELVIS is a Capricorn. (January 8)
    JESUS was the lamb of God. ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.
    JESUS' Father is everywhere. ELVIS' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.
    JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37) ELVIS said,
    "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)
    JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights. ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for
    breakfast)
    JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter
    and bananas.
    "[JESUS'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)
    ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
    JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)
    JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25) ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii,
    Paramount:1965)
    JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters. ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.
    JESUS had his famous Resurrection. ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.
    JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land. ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly
    eastern state.

    Honeymoon

    An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th anniversary in the same hotel and city
    where they spent their honeymoon. Before the act, he excused himself and went to loo and
    after a while came out laughing loudly.
    ''On our first night," the woman said, "you did the same thing and came out laughing. At the
    time, I was too embarrassed to ask what you were laughing about. Can you explain?"
    ''On that night while urinating, I made the roof wet. Today my shoes are wet."


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