The Brooding Corner

x Purple Pawprints x · 02-04-2015 9:18am

Jesus Angron you're really having a rough time aren't you.. I fail to understand people like your friends, what could they possibly get out of going without you?! :mad:

I'm so sorry about your gran as well. Like Ted says, PM is open if you need a chat. x

akamossy · 02-04-2015 10:31am

Angron this is the kinda thing my friends were doing to me on a regular basis. They aren't worth it!! Sorry to hear about your nan.

Hugo Stiglitz · 02-04-2015 2:57pm

Sorry to hear that Angron

Mozzeltoff · 03-04-2015 3:06am

I am sorry for all the trouble you're having Angron man. I really hope everything turns up for the better for you, sooner rather than later.

Having my own woes and doubts lately.

I have being questioning my abilities as a chef. Don't get me wrong I love cooking and especially the baking side of things. I really want to be a pastry chef. But I have to work in a restaurant as a normal chef (they don't have a pastry section

) and now that it's tourist season it's after getting really busy. I am sick with the thoughts of having to work Saturday. The last couple of weekends haven't being great but I know it's going to only get more hectic. I honestly don't know if I am cut out for it at all. I feel my anxiety is reaching an all time high and I am pretty snappy and feeling like crap. I don't want to drop out of the course as I am so far in but the work experience side is becoming a right stickler for me. I really don't know what to do.

Joya · 03-04-2015 12:33pm

sorry to hear that angron and mozz
about 6 months ago i found my dad have cancer..
it is hard even to say it.. wouldnt know even where to start to describe his troubles and pain.
very hard to deal with, hes too old for some operations being 82, and too week for some other. my brother ss taking him to the hospital and hes vomiting all the way just to find out that his blood results are not good for the proceedure and having to come back again..
im feeling quite isolated being unable to share this with people because noone wants to hear about such things..
even i was never close with my father and was quite anrgy on him throughout my life but lately i feel i went beyond that and managed to realise that in a way i am his parent now.. this was little before he was diagnosed.. and i feel so sorry for him now...
when my mother died 5 years ago at the age of 64 and i was even angry for that because 8well its a long story so to cut it short)
i feel id love my dad to be better but it does not seem to go that way..
so yes, sorry to type this here .. not even sure i will post it......

writer_lady170 · 03-04-2015 2:21pm

*hugs* joya and mozz

Hugo Stiglitz · 03-04-2015 4:01pm

Sorry to hear of your woes MT and Joya.

Joya · 03-04-2015 5:23pm

Mozzeltoff wrote: »

Having my own woes and doubts lately.

I have being questioning my abilities as a chef. Don't get me wrong I love cooking and especially the baking side of things. I really want to be a pastry chef. But I have to work in a restaurant as a normal chef (they don't have a pastry section ) and now that it's tourist season it's after getting really busy. I am sick with the thoughts of having to work Saturday. The last couple of weekends haven't being great but I know it's going to only get more hectic. I honestly don't know if I am cut out for it at all. I feel my anxiety is reaching an all time high and I am pretty snappy and feeling like crap. I don't want to drop out of the course as I am so far in but the work experience side is becoming a right stickler for me. I really don't know what to do.

dont give up mozz.. say to yourself it is not easy but it will get easier and you just need to push through this tough period without letting it crush you.. you ARE stronger than that

..

btw thanks WL and hugo.. I know that this subject I mentioned is tough and nobody wants to hear about it.. if you want please let me know if I should erase my post..

Mozzeltoff · 03-04-2015 5:29pm

Joya, don't erase your post. You're going through a tough time too and you have every right to air it out. We all come here to share our grievances, some look for advice, some look for comfort and some just to have a bit of a rant/vent. Regardless of what the problem is you should be able to let it out here.

I hope you're doing ok. I know how horrible the situation is for you but always remember that we're all here for you if you need a bit of a chat. It goes without saying. And thank you for your kind words Joya. I really appreciate it. Take care of yourself petal!

xx

Gremlinertia · 03-04-2015 5:36pm

Don't erase the post Joya, you are more than entitled (and welcome) to air stuff here..

Mozz, the kitchen won't defeat you, the pressure can feel insane at times, but the high afterwards will offset.. It'll come in time..

x Purple Pawprints x · 03-04-2015 5:41pm

Just want to give massive hugs to everyone, as I'm not really sure what to say..

Joya, don't erase your post. That's what the Brooding Corner is for, to talk about stuff that's going on in your life. x

Joya · 03-04-2015 5:47pm

thanks a mill mozz and grem and paws, it is tough yes. last time i went home he could not even come to door to welcome me as always.. he got very bad that first night and how i saw him i though he will not be with us much longer.. i tried to give him strength saying he HAS TO get better there is no nagotiation with it..
he is psychologically strong yes accepting it sayin you have to die from something, you know.. and he is giving his best..
he went through hard period as well when my mom died as they were together for almost 50 years..

btw it feels good to share and thanks a lot my friends

..

Mozzeltoff · 03-04-2015 5:49pm

Thanks Grem, it's a crazy environment to be in. I know that I will get into the swing of things but I just have this thing in my head that I am not good or quick enough. Stoopid anxiety is kinda holding me back

I need more exposure to the environment I guess

Thank you xPPx

You're a real sweetheart

Sephiroth_dude · 03-04-2015 6:06pm

Mozzeltoff wrote: »

I am sorry for all the trouble you're having Angron man. I really hope everything turns up for the better for you, sooner rather than later.

Having my own woes and doubts lately.

I have being questioning my abilities as a chef. Don't get me wrong I love cooking and especially the baking side of things. I really want to be a pastry chef. But I have to work in a restaurant as a normal chef (they don't have a pastry section ) and now that it's tourist season it's after getting really busy. I am sick with the thoughts of having to work Saturday. The last couple of weekends haven't being great but I know it's going to only get more hectic. I honestly don't know if I am cut out for it at all. I feel my anxiety is reaching an all time high and I am pretty snappy and feeling like crap. I don't want to drop out of the course as I am so far in but the work experience side is becoming a right stickler for me. I really don't know what to do.

Keep at it, you can do it!

Joya wrote: »

sorry to hear that angron and mozz
about 6 months ago i found my dad have cancer..
it is hard even to say it.. wouldnt know even where to start to describe his troubles and pain.
very hard to deal with, hes too old for some operations being 82, and too week for some other. my brother ss taking him to the hospital and hes vomiting all the way just to find out that his blood results are not good for the proceedure and having to come back again..
im feeling quite isolated being unable to share this with people because noone wants to hear about such things..
even i was never close with my father and was quite anrgy on him throughout my life but lately i feel i went beyond that and managed to realise that in a way i am his parent now.. this was little before he was diagnosed.. and i feel so sorry for him now...
when my mother died 5 years ago at the age of 64 and i was even angry for that because 8well its a long story so to cut it short)
i feel id love my dad to be better but it does not seem to go that way..
so yes, sorry to type this here .. not even sure i will post it......

Sorry to hear about your dad Joya, were all here for ya if you want too chat.

Joya · 03-04-2015 6:33pm

thanks seph feels good to know : )

...

writer_lady170 · 03-04-2015 6:33pm

awh joya don't delete the post, you're perfectly entitled to rant/let off stream here with what's going on in your life, I do sometimes about my asperger's, I used to think it was strange and people wouldn't accept me but i do rant about it now as it makes who I am. Hope you're holding up ok, I know the stress and strain of close family members being sick *big hugs*

Hope you're holding up ok too mozz, I know the feeling of anxiety, it used to hold me back an awful lot. You're very strong and I know you can do it :cool:

Joya · 03-04-2015 6:40pm

thank you writer lady, yea its sadeness really.. we are doing (my brother there) as much as we can but he accidentally recently hurt himself while trying to dress and made internal wound that is now prevening him to have an operation that was suppose to happen.. it also then became slightly infected so he is on lots of medicines that is trying to help him heal to become strong at least to have the op.. im textin withhim talking abot snooker and stuf as he loves it too and keeping his mind of his troubles..

Hugo Stiglitz · 03-04-2015 6:45pm

Joya wrote: »

im textin withhim talking abot snooker and stuf as he loves it too and keeping his mind of his troubles..

You're a great daughter, Joya.

Joya · 06-04-2015 12:07pm

its fire alarm signal just went off in fairview and i can of course hear it here... since i survived the nato bombing in 1999 this sound always is givin me chills.. cause this siren for danger was goin off every night.. and sometimes during the day also.. for over three months.. as i never went to undergound shelters id walk through the empty silent streets and watch rockets flyin over me head.. once was even couple of hundred meters from place that it hit.. it was a petrol storage near where i lived..
so hearin this sound now yes does not bring back pleasant memories....

x Purple Pawprints x · 06-04-2015 12:28pm

Wow. Joya that sounds so terrifying, I hope you're ok. x

Joya · 06-04-2015 12:37pm

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

Wow. Joya that sounds so terrifying, I hope you're ok. x

yes im fine, i mean this sound is still bringing that up.. but in the beginning when i just moved to ireland in 2002 i lived almost next to fire dept in macroom and this siren would wake me up in the night and for couple of moments id have to "translate" to myself what os going on.. like - no it is not THAT, it is THIS.. if you know what i mean, and to calm me down...

also sound of thunder had the same effect for a long time as it resembled the sound of rocket hitting whatever..

also from some reason those days it was raining and thundering a lot at night.. it felt like some nature balance was disturbed way off by all the bombing and earthquakes it made...

thank god its behind me.. and i wish to forget about it once and for all.....

writer_lady170 · 06-04-2015 1:45pm

Joya wrote: »

its fire alarm signal just went off in fairview and i can of course hear it here... since i survived the nato bombing in 1999 this sound always is givin me chills.. cause this siren for danger was goin off every night.. and sometimes during the day also.. for over three months.. as i never went to undergound shelters id walk through the empty silent streets and watch rockets flyin over me head.. once was even couple of hundred meters from place that it hit.. it was a petrol storage near where i lived..
so hearin this sound now yes does not bring back pleasant memories....

*hugs* joya, hope you're ok

certain sounds can bring back memories for me too

Joya · 06-04-2015 1:49pm

writer_lady170 wrote: »

*hugs* joya, hope you're ok

certain sounds can bring back memories for me too

yes i know.. this is more than memories its something left in the flesh and blood and not so much in conscious mind but sub - and un - conscious ..
i thought those days i am all right and that i didnt let that have any influence over me..
i had to move to ireland and deal with the reminders of it and just that made me aware that it did have the influence its just i was not (consciously) aware of that...

pardon me if i sound confusing

Hugo Stiglitz · 06-04-2015 1:53pm

Joya wrote: »

its fire alarm signal just went off in fairview and i can of course hear it here... since i survived the nato bombing in 1999 this sound always is givin me chills.. cause this siren for danger was goin off every night.. and sometimes during the day also.. for over three months.. as i never went to undergound shelters id walk through the empty silent streets and watch rockets flyin over me head.. once was even couple of hundred meters from place that it hit.. it was a petrol storage near where i lived..
so hearin this sound now yes does not bring back pleasant memories....

Jesus! That's rough Joya. *hugs*

Joya · 06-04-2015 2:04pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Jesus! That's rough Joya. *hugs*

yes it was.. war is never a pleasant thing i guess .. wouldn't like to talk more about it atm as id have to start mentioning tony blair and company and all that thing i wish to leave behind, but yes, thanks for listening, its nice to be able to share about this..

perhaps later or if you d want me to please just ask..

writer_lady170 · 06-04-2015 2:11pm

Joya wrote: »

yes i know.. this is more than memories its something left in the flesh and blood and not so much in conscious mind but sub - and un - conscious ..
i thought those days i am all right and that i didnt let that have any influence over me..
i had to move to ireland and deal with the reminders of it and just that made me aware that it did have the influence its just i was not (consciously) aware of that...

pardon me if i sound confusing

not a bother joya:) pm is there if you need to chat

Joya · 06-04-2015 5:50pm

thanks WL..

for ye..

writer_lady170 · 07-04-2015 1:47pm

I'm having a really s***y day, home from college with a stomach bug and my granny had a stoke this morning, in cork hospital now. not looking good...:(

Sephiroth_dude · 07-04-2015 2:04pm

Joya wrote: »

yes i know.. this is more than memories its something left in the flesh and blood and not so much in conscious mind but sub - and un - conscious ..
i thought those days i am all right and that i didnt let that have any influence over me..
i had to move to ireland and deal with the reminders of it and just that made me aware that it did have the influence its just i was not (consciously) aware of that...

pardon me if i sound confusing

writer_lady170 wrote: »

I'm having a really s***y day, home from college with a stomach bug and my granny had a stoke this morning, in cork hospital now. not looking good...:(

Sorry for your troubles ladies

Strokes suck ass :mad: !

Joya · 07-04-2015 2:25pm

thanks seph.. WL hugs from me.. be strong as much as you can .. we re here for you.. hope your grandma will make it.......

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