Childhood Sweethearts- Do they last?

PrivateEye

My mam and dad are together since they were 16, poor man.

I have one pair of mates who've been together since Junior Cert times (We're all now 1st/2nd year college). Makes you feel all warm and happy even looking at them, restores your faith in all that stuff. Personally, think its great. I'd never commit myself to 'FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER' stuff but I think the '....up and sneak out the door' attitude of most young folk today is a bit eh...wrong. Childhood sweetheart stuff is

congo_90

My parents made it to their late 40's before they really started to hate each other and only divorced recently after gettin married at 21 so that'll tell ya.

On a more recent note, I don't think so from personal experience of having been there done that twice with two amazing women and long term relationships. one being my first kiss years ago and no contact for 8 years. Another being someone who inevitably left me for another man (my old best friend).

shezzie

if you have a guy who is llike your best friend who treats you right you can laugh and cry with then dont wonder whats on the other side of the pond - the grass is not always greener and there are many toads who treat their women badly....when its good enjoy every second of it and if thats for the rest of your life then you are a very lucky lady indeed...hope this helps:)

sugar_smile

Me and my bf are together 9 yrs this yr. We were friends first before we started going out when I was 15 (he was 18). We love each other as much now as we did at the start if not more. Like the OPs sister we were very intense right from the start, spending every free second together-although my bf would always try to encourage that I put my studies first-it was hard to do though & when your young and in love studies are the last thing on your mind!
Our secret to lasting are down to the following:be honest with each other-don't be afraid to talk about anything, have fun together, respect each other, laugh out loud with each other every single day, and have fights-they're healthy but get over them & move on!!! I'm not saying it works for everyone, but at the end of the day i'm truly happy!

NewFrockTuesday

Lots of lovely stories

HHmm.. Have to say no. Was with teh nicest guy on the planet from 14ish - 21 ish. Hes married with a baby girl now and happy as larry. Sometimes it nice to see life turn out good for someone you did love, you can be happy for them form a distance and reap the rewards of their friendship.

raven136

Have to say i think they do.

Myself and the wife are married 2 years and have been together since we were 14,both 26 now.

gowayouttadat

I first scored with my boyfriend when I was 15. We went on a few "dates" over the space of a few weeks/months... nothing serious, very casual as it normally is at that age. Then we both kinda decided that I was a bit young for anything more, he's a small bit older, so we left it but used to speak on the phone every few weeks. Even back then we could talk the ear off each other. The phone calls used to last at least an hour every time. When I was 17 we decided to go out properly and see how it went. We started going out about two or three months before my leaving cert and have been together since. That was 8 years ago. Our first few dates were 10 years ago (scary!!). Now we've a house and are expecting a baby in August.
I could never imagine myself with anyone else. Even after all this time we could spend weeks together, just the two of us, and end up having a savage laugh. I still smile when I hear his voice on the phone and look forward to getting home to him in the evenings.


*edit*
On the other side of the coin a guy I work with was with his wife since they were 14. Total childhood sweethearts, travelled the world together, came home, settled down and got married. When they were 33/34 she finished it. Turns out she was having an affair with a neighbour and within a year was pregnant with his kid.
So happens both ways.

tantipie

i started going out with my guy 18yrs ago today:p,,married 8 yrs, 3 kids and we still only 33:D

Lilyblue

Yes I married my childhood sweetheart almost 4 years ago! We are together 11 years, since I am 15 and love him more than ever, he is my best friend! I still think its important for young people to do well in school and have friends too!

The Sweeper

I know quite a few people who hooked up in their teens and are still togehter in their forties.

Seems sweet, but just because they're still together now, and still good together, that doesn't mean they haven't been through the wringer.

In every "Met in our teens, still going strong now in our forties with bunch of near-adult kids" relationship I know of, they've had major issues. In every last one of them, at some point when the kids were still pre-teen, the guy had enough and either had a quiet affair or actually openly ran off with the other woman for a few months before coming crawling back.

In at least one of them, the woman did something similar when the kids were all in their mid to late teens.

What keeps them together does seem to be the age they met at. They were the first for each other, they grew up together, they know each other's background and history and what made them, they're like an extension of each other. That deep familiarity seems to be what allows them to forgive and move on. I wonder if it's what also keeps them together - a couple who met in their early thirties and hit a rough patch in their mid thirties seem more likely to split up. Maybe it's because there's so much more unknown about the other person.

Perhaps when you're with someone since scratch, yes they can still hurt you, but they don't have the ability to make you question and doubt your whole self the way a less familiar person could. To me, much of the inability to forgive infidelity comes from the damaged view of themselves the cuckolded person is left with - this niggling thought that you're not good enough and you never will be, and your other half has this whole secret life with these secret desires. Perhaps when you've known someone forever, you understand more about why they cheat and you know in your heart of hearts it's because of them, not because of you - hence you forgive them and move on.

So yes, I think childhood sweethearts can work out long term, but I don't think it's all rose petals and cherubs.

Twee.

Dudess wrote: »

My first love - I was 14 and all it was was a snog, nothing more came of it... but oh god I was smitten! Yeah, I think I'd like the grown-up version of him too...

Haha, that's just like me! Took me a very long time to get over it, and then last year he appears again "Oooh I really like you" etc. Too little too late man.
One of mates is convinced one day we'll get back together and fall madly in love :rolleyes:

tantipie

i dont think in any relationship it's rose petals and cherubs all the time,,i wouldn't change a thing about my life,,not because he is safe and that's all i know,,it's because i love him to bits and could never see myself with anyone else,,

Hagar

I started going out with my wife when she was 15 and I was 17.
I'm 52 now, so far so good, I'll let you know how it works out.

CathyMoran

First met my husband when we were 21, does that count? We did grow up together though (I needed to grow up a lot more than him ), had a lot of ups and downs, most of them my fault but have been unbelievably happy together (even though our life has been hard) since late September 2006...my mum and dad first met one another when they were 12 but did not start to date until they were 17, they are married over 47 years...they adore one another and he is nursing her in ill health now.