Women, Food, and others' perceptions.

shellyboo

LightningBolt wrote: »

And you would have taken them to court and won on grounds of unfair dismissal.

As a waitress, my job (aside from looking after the guests) was to maximise sales. UPselling, not downselling. If I'd have been caught trying to make a guest spend LESS money? I'd have been sacked, and rightly so. Especially if I'd been doing it in such a rude way.

LightningBolt wrote: »

Really, I'd say nine times out of ten when I was a waiter that when an individual never mind a woman ordered a large pizza there'd easily be at least three slices left. I'd like to think that when I informed the individual or couple (if ordering two) that I was helping to save them a couple of euro on needless food, but no, you're both right. I should have been sacked or have a letter of complaint sent to management about me.:rolleyes:

Your restaurant didn't employ you to save couples money. They employ you to make them money.

Trying to advise someone on their order is one thing, no need to be sacked over that. But insisting you know better than the guest, to the point of rudeness? Sackable offence.

I barely put up with people I know commenting on what I eat, never mind a waitress. Any restaurant with such poorly-mannered staff wouldn't be getting my business.

amacachi

Ah the drinks thing. When I get wine in a pub I'm treated to plenty of comments. Usually something to do with being an old woman.

One girl I know is 18 and I was wondering why she had switched from drinking pints of Bulmers. She said she read an article and some "hot" barman said that pints of Bulmers was the most unattractive thing a woman could drink. Needless to say we're not that close anymore. :P

Wibbs

shellyboo wrote: »

As a waitress, my job (aside from looking after the guests) was to maximise sales. UPselling, not downselling.

Bloody right. In fact I would be encouraging big eaters. Stands to reason.

Morgase

amacachi wrote: »

One girl I know is 18 and I was wondering why she had switched from drinking pints of Bulmers. She said she read an article and some "hot" barman said that pints of Bulmers was the most unattractive thing a woman could drink. Needless to say we're not that close anymore. :P

I remember in school (in the 90's, not that long ago really) most of my friends would drink vodka and coke or stuff like that.

I drank pints; my dad had warned me not to be drinking shorts. However my peers were warned by their parents not to be drinking pints as it was unladylike.

Never mind the fact that they were getting way more drunk than the pint drinkers but at least they weren't being unladylike!

barbiegirl

The worst comment I had when when I was a bit larger 1.5 stones to be exact. Now my then boyfriend now hubbie's family are all very slim, I was defo the biggest at the table. But no where near obese. My hubbie only likes lean meat and as a result cuts around the fat leaving half the meat on it. One day after having particularly good steaks I noticed a whole lot of meat left on his, so I took it. I would point out that I'd had an extremly small portion for myself, and loaded up on veggies in the main. So I eat the meat around the fat. His dad comments "ah just like Jack Sprat" You know the nursery rhyme and the accompanying picture, very slim Jack Sprat very fat wife. Even now I never take seconds and watch every mounthful and portion size.

jellie

Morgase wrote: »

Never mind the fact that they were getting way more drunk than the pint drinkers but at least they weren't being unladylike!

until the puking started..?

i have a friend who wont drink from a pint glass cause its unladylike, no matter what the drink. in every other sense shes perfectly normal but its just something she wont get over.

Ironé

I can't recall this happening to me. I'd a colleague who used to say it as a joke but he was more taking the p*ss out of people who do say that. I think I would go through someone for a shortcut if they commented on my food like that.

The waitress thing wouldn't have bothered me unless she kept going on at me. At that stage I would have just paused for a while, looked at her and asked for my order again.

I do have the 'eternal diet' friends who do the whole I can't eat that I'm on a diet and I'd love some but I can't. I'll always respond with a "life's too short". Cause it is and Food is fabulous!!!!!! What is better in this world than a fabulous meal, good friends and nice wine? No comments from anyone will stop me enjoying that. I feel very sorry for someone who has such hang-ups about food that they have to make comments like that.

amacachi

Morgase wrote: »

I remember in school (in the 90's, not that long ago really) most of my friends would drink vodka and coke or stuff like that.

I drank pints; my dad had warned me not to be drinking shorts. However my peers were warned by their parents not to be drinking pints as it was unladylike.

Never mind the fact that they were getting way more drunk than the pint drinkers but at least they weren't being unladylike!

Exactly, even to go with the "ladylike" thing, I find it more ladylike for women to be able to sit and have a few drinks and a chat, rather than throw back some shots, yap for half an hour and then get sick and spend the rest of the night crying. Sometimes they can skip the getting sick bit. :P

Morgase

sar84 wrote: »

until the puking started..?

That's exactly it! Don't think they saw the wisdom of switching to pints though

WindSock

Oh man I love food. If anyone ever tried to get in the way of me and my food I'd feckin eat them.

People who watch me eat, I friggin hate. I like to open my mouth and give them a full technicolour display for their enjoyment while making exaggerated nyom nyom sounds. Feck off and let me enjoy the few of lifes reliable pleasures.

masonman

banshee_bones wrote: »

Example: Sat morning, grab a bottle of coke on my way to work (dont normally drink the stuff but i over slept leaving no time for breakfast or tea.Needed something to wake me up)
En route two rather large middle aged balding blokes decide to comment loudly to inform me of my choice of beverage and how an excess of such would make me fat.

A little off topic, but perhaps the logic still applies.
I remember having a similar experience when I used to smoke. Strangers commenting. It annoyed me at the time, but of course they were right ( Which is probably more annoying)

LouOB

Mad - I got same question in Pizza Hut in Dublin
Was on a first date with this guy, I was starving as hadnt eaten since breakfast, it was about 7pm
I ordered a medium - waiter says its for two people
I almost died of shock - as the date had ordered a small
In fairness waiter gave us both medium by saying there was no small left - good save
But could barely swallow a slice as lump in my throat

I have been on weightwatchers YEARS
and would comment on friends or familys food - only if they were in weightwatchers with me also e.g. I would say do you know how many points are in THAT??!
But never to anyone I dont know or any friends sensitive about weight
As Ive been on the other side

cuckoo

I just brush it off, and figure that it reveals something really sad about the person making the comments own attitude to food and themselves.

"ugh, that's a lot of cheese on your sandwich - omg, so much fat" is just white noise to me.

The only type of commenting i'll pay attention to when it comes to my food is "ooooh, what kind of dressing is that? what's it like with that cheese? sounds yum, think i'll try that next time...".

I loves my food. :pac:

Malari

I ordered a steak and my boyfriend a pasta dish or something in a restaurant a few months back. Now I admit I wouldn't get a craving for steak a lot, but when I do I want it extremely rare.

The waitress, who actually took our order brought over the food and put the steak down in front of my boyfriend! I pointed out that I was the one who ordered it and she laughed at my little joke! My boyfriend had to switch plates!

It doesn't bother me, I just find it amusing. And if someone makes a smart comment about what I'm eating they better be prepared for a smart comment right back

LightningBolt

shellyboo wrote: »

As a waitress, my job (aside from looking after the guests) was to maximise sales. UPselling, not downselling. If I'd have been caught trying to make a guest spend LESS money? I'd have been sacked, and rightly so. Especially if I'd been doing it in such a rude way.



Your restaurant didn't employ you to save couples money. They employ you to make them money.

Trying to advise someone on their order is one thing, no need to be sacked over that. But insisting you know better than the guest, to the point of rudeness? Sackable offence.

I barely put up with people I know commenting on what I eat, never mind a waitress. Any restaurant with such poorly-mannered staff wouldn't be getting my business.

Wibbs wrote: »

Bloody right. In fact I would be encouraging big eaters. Stands to reason.

Of course part of the job is to upsell. Another part is to also be honest with every customer. I just don't see why a a person would get offended when if they ordered a large pizza and their partner did likewise that a waiter/waitress suggests downsizing. I worked the same place throughout school and college and I'd say only 1 in 10 couples could finish off two large pizzas. Now forgive me for kindly suggesting to people that they may have ordered too much. I wouldn't dare be rude or forceful when I made that suggestion though since that would've been wrong of me. I just didn't like to see generally young people like myself waste hard earned money on something they would in all likelihood not eat.

amacachi

Malari wrote: »

I ordered a steak and my boyfriend a pasta dish or something in a restaurant a few months back. Now I admit I wouldn't get a craving for steak a lot, but when I do I want it extremely rare.

The waitress, who actually took our order brought over the food and put the steak down in front of my boyfriend! I pointed out that I was the one who ordered it and she laughed at my little joke! My boyfriend had to switch plates!

It doesn't bother me, I just find it amusing. And if someone makes a smart comment about what I'm eating they better be prepared for a smart comment right back

Just so ya know, I thanked your post for the last paragraph, not for eating a live animal. :P

Morgase

LightningBolt wrote: »

Of course part of the job is to upsell. Another part is to also be honest with every customer. I just don't see why a a person would get offended when if they ordered a large pizza and their partner did likewise that a waiter/waitress suggests downsizing. I worked the same place throughout school and college and I'd say only 1 in 10 couples could finish off two large pizzas. Now forgive me for kindly suggesting to people that they may have ordered too much. I wouldn't dare be rude or forceful when I made that suggestion though since that would've been wrong of me. I just didn't like to see generally young people like myself waste hard earned money on something they would in all likelihood not eat.

I thought she was offended because the waitress was saying that the girl couldn't possibly eat the large pizza and no such comment was made to the partner, who had ordered the exact same size meal?

Morgase

Morgase wrote: »

I thought she was offended because the waitress was saying that the girl couldn't possibly eat the large pizza and no such comment was made to the partner, who had ordered the exact same size meal?

I hope not, because the fact of the matter is a womans portion should be smaller than a mans.

I imagine it was more to do with the attitude, and judgemental look.

Léan

Moonbaby wrote: »

I hope not, because the fact of the matter is a womans portion should be smaller than a mans.

I imagine it was more to do with the attitude, and judgemental look.

Bang on, plus the sheer and utter rudeness. Like i said if she was making a polite suggestion that would've been fine, but she was being rude and insistent.

Malari

amacachi wrote: »

Just so ya know, I thanked your post for the last paragraph, not for eating a live animal. :P

Noted. Although, I generally ask for animals to be pre-slaughtered before they get to my plate. Call me lazy...or unladylike?

amacachi

Malari wrote: »

Noted. Although, I generally ask for animals to be pre-slaughtered before they get to my plate. Call me lazy...or unladylike?

It was a joke, I also give out to lads for eating bloody meat, don't think they're too worried about not being unladylike.

Malari

Malari wrote: »

I ordered a steak and my boyfriend a pasta dish or something in a restaurant a few months back. Now I admit I wouldn't get a craving for steak a lot, but when I do I want it extremely rare.

The waitress, who actually took our order brought over the food and put the steak down in front of my boyfriend! I pointed out that I was the one who ordered it and she laughed at my little joke! My boyfriend had to switch plates!

It doesn't bother me, I just find it amusing. And if someone makes a smart comment about what I'm eating they better be prepared for a smart comment right back

I am a vegetable eater.

My ex was a very lean build. And I'm rather robust.
I always got offered the steak when it came to the table, and him the veggie option.

the_syco

minidazzler wrote: »

Their Motto, "Eating is Cheating" :eek:

I know a few lads who say the same, except it's lunch in between an all day drinking session that they mean.

Wibbs wrote: »

Bloody right. In fact I would be encouraging big eaters. Stands to reason.

Reminds me of when I worked in Vue. A couple would get two small drinks, and a small popcorn, until I pointed out that the meal deal with two medium drinks and a large popcorn was a euro or so cheaper... and the managers would encourage this.

WindSock wrote: »

People who watch me eat, I friggin hate.

Yawning (with food in the mouth) and manly belching helps stop this

LouOB

Does anyone else crave a mars bar now?

Macha

Moonbaby wrote: »

I hope not, because the fact of the matter is a womans portion should be smaller than a mans.

Very broadly speaking a woman's portion should be smaller than a man's but

a) we're all adults and can choose for ourselves
b) maybe the woman has just gone to the gym or has been doing lots of physical exercise that day while the guy has been sitting on his arse
c) maybe she's trying to put on weight

There are too many individual factors for serving staff to be making any assumptions.

the_syco

LouOB wrote: »

Does anyone else crave a mars bar now?

No. I'm eating Maltesers now, though. Munchie machine down the hall :cool:

Malari

taconnol wrote: »

Very broadly speaking a woman's portion should be smaller than a man's but

a) we're all adults and can choose for ourselves
b) maybe the woman has just gone to the gym or has been doing lots of physical exercise that day while the guy has been sitting on his arse
c) maybe she's trying to put on weight

There are too many individual factors for serving staff to be making any assumptions.

Or maybe (as happens a lot with me) I know I'm not going to finish it but I know someone sitting right opposite me who will.

In fact my boyfriend is the only one who's allowed comment on my eating habits, as he knows my appetite so well. I'll often get a complimentary "you did well!" if I clear my plate He says it with such feeling I can barely detect the begrudgery sometimes.

taconnol

taconnol wrote: »

Very broadly speaking a woman's portion should be smaller than a man's but

a) we're all adults and can choose for ourselves
b) maybe the woman has just gone to the gym or has been doing lots of physical exercise that day while the guy has been sitting on his arse
c) maybe she's trying to put on weight

There are too many individual factors for serving staff to be making any assumptions.

I wasnt trying to condone pushy portion lady at all.

Macha

Moonbaby wrote: »

I wasnt trying to condone pushy portion lady at all.

I know. The last sentence of my post wasn't aimed at you, or anyone else really.

I was just talking about where you said that women's portions should be smaller than men's and explaining that it isn't quite as simple as that.

Another scenario: carb-loading for an endurance event. Ooh my boyfriend ate about 2 loaves of bread the day before he did the Dublin marathon - I half wished I was running it myself watching him.

banshee_bones

LouOB wrote: »

Does anyone else crave a mars bar now?

id crave anything. im starving. just stopped what i was doing long enough to realise iv been on famine mode since iv started it so havent eaten anything since breakfast.