Women, Food, and others' perceptions.

amacachi

Malari wrote: »

Noted. Although, I generally ask for animals to be pre-slaughtered before they get to my plate. Call me lazy...or unladylike?

It was a joke, I also give out to lads for eating bloody meat, don't think they're too worried about not being unladylike.

Malari

Malari wrote: »

I ordered a steak and my boyfriend a pasta dish or something in a restaurant a few months back. Now I admit I wouldn't get a craving for steak a lot, but when I do I want it extremely rare.

The waitress, who actually took our order brought over the food and put the steak down in front of my boyfriend! I pointed out that I was the one who ordered it and she laughed at my little joke! My boyfriend had to switch plates!

It doesn't bother me, I just find it amusing. And if someone makes a smart comment about what I'm eating they better be prepared for a smart comment right back

I am a vegetable eater.

My ex was a very lean build. And I'm rather robust.
I always got offered the steak when it came to the table, and him the veggie option.

the_syco

minidazzler wrote: »

Their Motto, "Eating is Cheating" :eek:

I know a few lads who say the same, except it's lunch in between an all day drinking session that they mean.

Wibbs wrote: »

Bloody right. In fact I would be encouraging big eaters. Stands to reason.

Reminds me of when I worked in Vue. A couple would get two small drinks, and a small popcorn, until I pointed out that the meal deal with two medium drinks and a large popcorn was a euro or so cheaper... and the managers would encourage this.

WindSock wrote: »

People who watch me eat, I friggin hate.

Yawning (with food in the mouth) and manly belching helps stop this

LouOB

Does anyone else crave a mars bar now?

Macha

Moonbaby wrote: »

I hope not, because the fact of the matter is a womans portion should be smaller than a mans.

Very broadly speaking a woman's portion should be smaller than a man's but

a) we're all adults and can choose for ourselves
b) maybe the woman has just gone to the gym or has been doing lots of physical exercise that day while the guy has been sitting on his arse
c) maybe she's trying to put on weight

There are too many individual factors for serving staff to be making any assumptions.

the_syco

LouOB wrote: »

Does anyone else crave a mars bar now?

No. I'm eating Maltesers now, though. Munchie machine down the hall :cool:

Malari

taconnol wrote: »

Very broadly speaking a woman's portion should be smaller than a man's but

a) we're all adults and can choose for ourselves
b) maybe the woman has just gone to the gym or has been doing lots of physical exercise that day while the guy has been sitting on his arse
c) maybe she's trying to put on weight

There are too many individual factors for serving staff to be making any assumptions.

Or maybe (as happens a lot with me) I know I'm not going to finish it but I know someone sitting right opposite me who will.

In fact my boyfriend is the only one who's allowed comment on my eating habits, as he knows my appetite so well. I'll often get a complimentary "you did well!" if I clear my plate He says it with such feeling I can barely detect the begrudgery sometimes.

taconnol

taconnol wrote: »

Very broadly speaking a woman's portion should be smaller than a man's but

a) we're all adults and can choose for ourselves
b) maybe the woman has just gone to the gym or has been doing lots of physical exercise that day while the guy has been sitting on his arse
c) maybe she's trying to put on weight

There are too many individual factors for serving staff to be making any assumptions.

I wasnt trying to condone pushy portion lady at all.

Macha

Moonbaby wrote: »

I wasnt trying to condone pushy portion lady at all.

I know. The last sentence of my post wasn't aimed at you, or anyone else really.

I was just talking about where you said that women's portions should be smaller than men's and explaining that it isn't quite as simple as that.

Another scenario: carb-loading for an endurance event. Ooh my boyfriend ate about 2 loaves of bread the day before he did the Dublin marathon - I half wished I was running it myself watching him.

banshee_bones

LouOB wrote: »

Does anyone else crave a mars bar now?

id crave anything. im starving. just stopped what i was doing long enough to realise iv been on famine mode since iv started it so havent eaten anything since breakfast.

taconnol

taconnol wrote: »

I know. The last sentence of my post wasn't aimed at you, or anyone else really.

I was just talking about where you said that women's portions should be smaller than men's and explaining that it isn't quite as simple as that.

Another scenario: carb-loading for an endurance event. Ooh my boyfriend ate about 2 loaves of bread the day before he did the Dublin marathon - I half wished I was running it myself watching him.

Ah

Honey-ec

Honey-ec wrote: »

There's a girl on another forum I'm on whose sig is "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels".

Eh, HELL YEAH it does!

Thankfully I've never really had to deal with the "you're not going to eat THAT!" brigade, but I am getting really, really sick of having to send back steaks that I've ordered blue because they've arrived medium.

I genuinely believe that waiters think that because I'm A) Irish and female, that I couldn't possibly even understand what a blue steak is, much less actually want one, and just write "medium" on the order regardless.

I had to send back a "blue" steak in the Unicorn last week, ordered from a French waiter, because it was cooked medium. The manager came out, all apologies, and assured me the next one would be correct. It came out rare. I couldn't bring myself to bother sending it back again, all of my dining companions were long finished at that stage and my appetite was pretty much gone anyway.

That's exactly what they do in lots of places - if someone orders 'blue' or 'rare', they'll cook it medium, because there are a lot of tools who don't understand what blue means and send it back for being 'raw'. My OH used to be a chef in one of those fancy restaurants and he said there were so many complaints that the steaks were overdone, when it was what the person ordered, that they overcooked them all and on the rare occasion that someone really meant blue, just do another one.

I hope not, because the fact of the matter is a womans portion should be smaller than a mans.

Who is anyone to say what a portion 'should' be without knowing the circumstances? I nearly always eat the same size meal as my OH. I get a lot of annoying comments as well like 'ooh you'll never finish that' or 'you should order the small size' because I'm quite petite (size 8-10 and 5'5), well I nearly always finish every bite. I don't mind a polite suggestion from a waiter, especially since when I waitressed in New York I had to warn people about the portion sizes, but dining companions can mind their own business. I clearly don't have any sort of weight problem, so if I want to order a large burger, chips and coke, why can't I without snide comments about being greedy? I've always had a big appetite and a salad has never and will never be enough for me. If some girls think a scone and an apple is sufficient for lunch, fair play to them, but I'd faint after an hour.

rainbow kirby

taconnol wrote: »

Another scenario: carb-loading for an endurance event. Ooh my boyfriend ate about 2 loaves of bread the day before he did the Dublin marathon - I half wished I was running it myself watching him.

Nom nom nom, can't wait for the day before the marathon

To be perfectly honest, I don't care what other people think of what I'm eating. I used to get a few dirty looks off people about my food when I was very overweight, I still get a few now at a more normal weight (I was 15 stone @ 5'6" and I'm about 11.5 stone now so still a bit to lose) - but that's their problem, not mine. I enjoy my food, I do not see why I should be forced to live on rabbit food just because I'm a girl.

If I want to eat steaks, chips or chocolatey desserts, or drink pints rather than more "feminine" drinks - that's my decision, nobody elses.

b3t4

Food and me are the best and worst of friends.

The only people that I would remember making comments on what I eat/don't eat would be my mother and aunt. I got a lot of mixed messages growing up with regards to food. On the one hand I was being told I was fat and on the other side I was being told to eat up. This confused the hell out of me and brought me to a very bad place with food.

I've come to love food and not despise it as much as I used to.

I can now buy a cream bun without being ashamed. I will order what I want to order in a restaurant and get dessert to booth. I've come a long way but still have some distance to go.

A.

CathyMoran

I sort of have the opposite problem - I am 5ft 2in, a size 6 but waiters/waitresses always try and get me to eat more to put on weight! OK, I cant eat large portions but that is due to non-obesity related surgery, it means that I tend to eat in places that know my medical issues and dont push me. I have another friend who had the same surgery and he has the same issues. It does not help that I am a type 1 diabetic too and ttc so while I normally could eat every type of food now I can not...sorry, rant over.

beks101

Oh God I hate this, and used to dread lunch at work when I had packed my own stuff for the same reason.

Even your basic chicken stirfry in a lunch box would provoke the crinkled-nosed 'what the HELL are you EATING?' responses and I remember on one occasion being informed that it looked like I had emptied the contents of my lawn mower into my (salad) sandwich.

Sorry if it's OT, but what is it about someone taking the healthy option that seems to piss other people off??

Fletch123

The problem of assumptions because of your weight and/or gender can be applied across the board though. I got quite annoyed in work the other week when the guys I work with were organising 5 a-side football and didn't invite me. I'm the only girl on my team and so they excluded me. Even though I've talked football with them before. And when I asked them about it they said "But you're a girl". Still making my blood boil...

On topic though, it happens all the time to me- at carveries the server will always give me a smaller portion in comparison to my OH. I always make him go first so when they give him 4 scoops of mash and me only 3 I call them on it and ask for more (despite their raised eyebrows). I know it's because I'm little (5'3" and a size 8) but surely I shouldn't be exected to pay the same price for less food.

holdmyhand?

i think its only when you have over come an eating disorder, you can see food and eating and peoples perceptions and attitudes towards food from an 'outside' perspective. i have learned, peoples reactions to what your eating, or not eating, are often based on their own personal upbringing and experinces and that makes people judgemental.

i spent too long constantly second guessing people, on what they are thinking, or what they 'REALLY MEAN' when they say something.

so while it doz piss me off, people making comments etc. to be honest its in one ear out the other.

t-ha

I get comments occassionally from people who see what I pack away on a daily basis - but usually I get (or take) the impression that they're just impressed? I know if I see a girl packing away serious portions it impresses the hell out of me, more so if they're not overweight.

I would never stand for a stranger commenting on what/how much I eat as a negative tbh - it's out of bounds. I don't think I'd ever give a flying f**k what randomers thought of what I was buying in a supermarket either. Life's too short.

t-ha

beks101 wrote: »

Sorry if it's OT, but what is it about someone taking the healthy option that seems to piss other people off??

Guilt. Mainly.