maintenance

NBar

I have a problem my brother who had an affair (idiot) and fathered a child and was kicked out by his wife who has now taken him back (bigger idiot) is paying maintenace for the child he fathered outside marriage of €400 a month. His wife who now only works 2 days a week has freaked out and is now at him to reduce what he is paying to this other woman for his child. He has 3 kids by his wife. What should he do as he is annoying the crap out of me looking for advice but what do I know. Any way of calculating online what he should be paying. Thanks as any help or advice so I can have some peace and quiet

MonicaBing

Tell him to get off his arse and consult a Family Law solicitor to find out his options, and possibly get back to court to get the payment reduced. It sounds a bit much to be paying out that amount when he has a wife and 3 kids already to support. Tell him to pull his finger out and face up to his responsibilities and to not be tormenting you looking for advice. I presume you know nothing about such things if your posting here looking for advice.

He got him self into the strife and its up to him to get out of it. I'm with the wife on this one, why should her family have to suffer because he couldn't keep his lad in his shorts?

NBar

Thanks, anyone an idea what he should have to pay roughly and as blood is thicker than water he is my bro at the end of the day and I will do anything to help him out, just to add the other woman is back living in the uk now

Nevyn

There isn't a set standard, there is a maxium, set by the district court and the courts here
take into consideration all of his income and out goings.

If the mother of the child is in the uk then he will have to get in touch with the
maintence recovery section over there and get an arrangement in place which can
then be ratifited by the court over here.

http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/how-maintenance-calculated.asp
https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

lalalulu

MonicaBing wrote: »

Tell him to get off his arse and consult a Family Law solicitor to find out his options, and possibly get back to court to get the payment reduced. It sounds a bit much to be paying out that amount when he has a wife and 3 kids already to support. Tell him to pull his finger out and face up to his responsibilities and to not be tormenting you looking for advice. I presume you know nothing about such things if your posting here looking for advice.

He got him self into the strife and its up to him to get out of it. I'm with the wife on this one, why should her family have to suffer because he couldn't keep his lad in his shorts?

Has nobody thought of the child in any of this! It's not the child's fault that his father couldn't keep is "lad" in his shorts. I can undestand the man's wife having a major problem with him fathering another child but this new person needs to be fed clothed and educated! 100euro a week doesn't go far when you have to pay bills, buy food, clothes and send the child to school. Men seem to be able to walk away even after they've **** on their own doorsteps!!!

Splendour

NBar wrote: »

I Any way of calculating online what he should be paying. Thanks as any help or advice so I can have some peace and quiet

Tell him to calculate on an individual basis what it costs to rear his other children. Surely that amount would be a fair amount to pay? Obviously if the mother of this child is working or receiving welfare, this too should be taken into account. I think he'll find that €400 a month doesn't go too far...

My sympathies go out to his wife though. Not easy on her having to deal with this both emotionally and financially.

MonicaBing

lalalulu wrote: »

Has nobody thought of the child in any of this! It's not the child's fault that his father couldn't keep is "lad" in his shorts. I can undestand the man's wife having a major problem with him fathering another child but this new person needs to be fed clothed and educated! 100euro a week doesn't go far when you have to pay bills, buy food, clothes and send the child to school. Men seem to be able to walk away even after they've **** on their own doorsteps!!!

Sweetie, i am the other woman, not in this case but i am. So im in a good position to see both sides, i would not dream of impoverishing the other family to embellish my life, but my ex wasn't married or in another relationship when i got pregnant.
Like i said earlier, he needs to own up to his responsibilities, but it shouldnt have to, in the current economic climate be at the detriment of his wife and THREE kids.

Bring it back to court and try and get it assessed fairly for both parties concerned. The maintenance laws are different in the Uk and i know nowt about them so i cant advise any further, and as was advised earlier by T, he needs to check it out. Id be hopeful that all concerned are thinking about the child's welfare but you do get some unscrupulous gals out there....

Superdaddy

He needs to have the payments adjusted in court, speak to a family law solicitor.

lalalulu wrote: »

Has nobody thought of the child in any of this! It's not the child's fault that his father couldn't keep is "lad" in his shorts. I can undestand the man's wife having a major problem with him fathering another child but this new person needs to be fed clothed and educated! 100euro a week doesn't go far when you have to pay bills, buy food, clothes and send the child to school. Men seem to be able to walk away even after they've **** on their own doorsteps!!!

Man hater?? Obviously he f**ked up, but he is paying towards the child and he is still trying to support his three other children and his patient wife. Maybe you should think of them.
Men are being stopped from seeing their children, they are being used as money donors and allowed to play no other part in parenting. Everyday the family courts are full of fathers trying to get access to their children from bitter women using their children as weapons to hurt men. Men are making family law solicitors rich. Many fathers turn to suicide in the end out of sheer heartbreak and frustration at the hands of selfish women and the corrupt secret world of the family court.
Next time you feel like expressing your views on the deadbeat dads minority, try not to include all men the same way that the media and the Irish courts do. Its like me saying women make bad parents.

He is paying maintence for the child by the way and not the mother, she would have to provide accomodation, clothing, travel and food for herself the same way she would if they never had a child. He should not be paying her rent or mortage and he should not be paying for anything other than half the childs needs.
They pay half the costs each towards the rearing of the child. Can somebody tell me how it costs €200 per week to rear the average child these days, not to mention the state benefits she recieves for the child.
Just for the record the state gives a single unemployed adult €204 per week to survive. You would imagine a child would have less expenses.

lalalulu

Superdaddy wrote: »

He needs to have the payments adjusted in court, speak to a family law solicitor.




Man hater?? Obviously he f**ked up, but he is paying towards the child and he is still trying to support his three other children and his patient wife. Maybe you should think of them.
Men are being stopped from seeing their children, they are being used as money donors and allowed to play no other part in parenting. Everyday the family courts are full of fathers trying to get access to their children from bitter women using their children as weapons to hurt men. Men are making family law solicitors rich. Many fathers turn to suicide in the end out of sheer heartbreak and frustration at the hands of selfish women and the corrupt secret world of the family court.
Next time you feel like expressing your views on the deadbeat dads minority, try not to include all men the same way that the media and the Irish courts do. Its like me saying women make bad parents.

He is paying maintence for the child by the way and not the mother, she would have to provide accomodation, clothing, travel and food for herself the same way she would if they never had a child. He should not be paying her rent or mortage and he should not be paying for anything other than half the childs needs.
They pay half the costs each towards the rearing of the child. Can somebody tell me how it costs €200 per week to rear the average child these days, not to mention the state benefits she recieves for the child.
Just for the record the state gives a single unemployed adult €204 per week to survive. You would imagine a child would have less expenses.

Ha! No sorry to disappoint you but i'm not a man hater i live with my daughter's father and i certainly don't hate him:P
I understand your point that the mother has to pay her own rent, clothing, travel etc but the child lives with her full time. I am thinking of the wife and his other children i never said they had to take any of the blame but his child with the other woman is caught in the middle aswell! You say women use their children as weapons i completely agree some women do this and they are not fit to be mother's so before you think i'm one of them understand i'm only thinking of the kids caught in the middle of all this crap. It's always the children who suffer because the adult's **** up.