New Pet

Homer

Recently I received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even
worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could
think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the
parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and
put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that I’d hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said

“I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions.
I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and
I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior.”

I was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,

“May I ask what the turkey did?”