Would you cheat?

NewFrockTuesday

Hooowee!

Its been one of those days where the jungle drums are beating non stop. It feels like everyone I know is cheating, planning to or has just found out they are being cheated on. Not everybody I know obviously, but those 3 scenarios are playing themselves out as I type.

1. Lady A is cheating on her hubs. They are married about 6 years with 3 kids. This is potentially dynamite. Her hubs is a lunatic of the highest order. There can be no good end to this.
2. Lady B is just at the cusp of clinching the deal. The air around them seems electric or something. Somebody just press the button and it’s a go.
3. Man A is currently very very drunk in a pub in town cos his wife has just flung him out after finding emails from his dolly on the side.

Now before anyone goes off on their giddy up about how bad it is to cheat – lets just say from the start that yes, cheating is bad etc. Its not a moral debate. Im asking if you have ever cheated – ever – and those of you in a relationship, would you cheat if you knew 100% you weren’t going to get caught? I give you jack the (very very sexy) fireman in Amsterdam on a girls weekend away. Would you? Now be honest!

And if anyone else has any gossip, feel free to let the rest of us know :pac:

Nevyn

It's spring time and the sap is rising as indeed are the saps.
Such is life.

g'em

OP, a serious question: what was your reasoning behind posting this in tLL?

Das Kitty

If the risk of being caught is all that's stopping a person from cheating, they shouldn't be in a relationship.

Don't get how this couldn't be a moral debate tbh, surely the question you're posing is a moral one, no?

Also what's this about €1000 spending money. To spend on what?:P

NewFrockTuesday

Just wondering f anyone here has cheated g'em.

Re the €1000 - soz - mistake...editing now.

No..not exactly a moral debate - although feel free, I just didnt want it desending into a its bad/no its not as opposed to finding out is cheating as prolific as it apparently is. I mean, 3 cases of people cheating in one day? Thats a shocker I think seeing as I didnt suspect 2 of them at all. Maybe I havent phrased it clearly enough in the first post.

G'em I might be wrong but I imagine she put the topic here, because she was looking specifically for womens views.
I sometimes have problems coming up with threads, because I feel limited by a womens issues pigeon hole.

Cheating just isn't in my character. I like to be straight up and honest with myself and that filters down to others.
I reckon if I felt the need to view pastures green, I would discuss it with the old bloke.
That might not be very nice, but that is the way I operate.
I've never felt the urge though, I've never even fancied other people unless my old relationship was on its last legs.

Gary ITR

Das Kitty wrote: »

Also what's this about €1000 spending money. To spend on what?:P

anti biotics after picking up an STD

g'em

Deepsense wrote: »

Just wondering f anyone here has cheated g'em.

Moonbaby wrote: »

G'em I might be wrong but I imagine she put the topic here, because she was looking specifically for womens views.
I sometimes have problems coming up with threads, because I feel limited by a womens issues pigeon hole.

Fair enough - I guess I got irked at such a sensationalist thread title. Having been cheated on myself I don't see the... humour? in a person's infidelity being labelled as "juicy gossip". And to generate a thread solely to discus other people's personal lives just seems a little demeaning. IMHO.

NewFrockTuesday

Fair enough - I guess I got irked at such a sensationalist thread title. Having been cheated on myself I don't see the... humour? in a person's infidelity being labelled as "juicy gossip". And to generate a thread solely to discus other people's personal lives just seems a little demeaning. IMHO.

I didnt mean it to be like that but I can see where youre coming from. KK. Can you retitle please? I dont want to offend anyone whos been through it at all.

How about....Are you a cheater?

Nevyn

And Ireland is after all a very small place, it' has happened on PI someone started a thread
and then had a family memeber who is on boards read it or thier other half.

I really don't think tLL needs a gossip girl thread.

NewFrockTuesday

Its not that small.

Its a simple question. You dont have to answer it.

Joey the lips

Hi Girls, I spot this comin through on the new posts tampted to look, read it like a creap but then thought of a question?

What would you think if men posted this subject?

I would hope for ladies credability the result comes out good,

Just a thought,!

I would say if your in a relationship where your tempted to have an affair its not a relationship. You cannot possibly love your O/H.

Just my perspective though

Das Kitty

Joey the lips wrote: »

I would say if your in a relationship where your tempted to have an affair its not a relationship. You cannot possibly love your O/H.

I have to disagree with this.

Just because you're tempted does not mean you don't love your O/H, however it is probably symptomatic of some serious issues in the relationship.

It's another thing altogether if you're tempted and the only thing stopping you is fear of being caught.

Wibbs

Never have, I strongly suspect I never would. Not in my nature. Yep I can be a card carrying slapper between relationships, but not in them. Even between I wouldn't have two people on the go.

That said I'm not whiter than white in another way, as I have been the one someone has cheated with. Actually I would say well over two thirds of casual affairs I've had have fallen into that category. Mostly I didn't know at the time and I never knew the blokes, but sometimes I found out and still went back. Not for long though. The guilt took over.

What amazed me, is how easily these cheaters could compartmentalise their behaviour. a couple even told me how much they loved their BFs and were going to marry him. Right up to the point where the naked stuff kicked in. I've heard same about men from women in that position.

I've been cheated on a few times over the years. Didn't have a clue and neither did the other guy involved. Though once we met up and the result of that delicious airing of dirty linen you will find in the worst relationships thread;):). Yes it hurt me terribly, but now I see it as bullet(s) well dodged. I like to think I would spot the signs now and there were a few that were consistent looking back.

As for the diffs between genders? I dunno. In my circle, many more of the women have done so than the men, but when I mentioned this to someone else, in his circle that trend was reversed. I think both men and women are capable of it. I would say that younger women(under 30) are more likely to do so than younger men and older men(over 30) are more likely to do so than older women. Though TBH I think that boils down to opportunity as much as anything. Younger women seem to have more options in general and ditto for older men. As I say I reckon 50/50 gender split

Otis Driftwood

You are a fan of Jeremy Kyle et al Id imagine OP.:rolleyes:

To refer to people cheating on their OH as juicy gossip would lead me to question your motives/cop on/intelligence.Your part of the post - see below

1. Lady A is cheating on her hubs. They are married about 6 years with 3 kids. This is potentially dynamite. Her hubs is a lunatic of the highest order. There can be no good end to this.
2. Lady B is just at the cusp of clinching the deal. The air around them seems electric or something. Somebody just press the button and it’s a go.

conjures up an image of you sitting around with your hands clenched on front of waiting for someone to get caught.

A couple of families,at least one with young kids could potentially get ripped apart and the way you are going on about it sounds (to me at least) like you find this entertaining.

Is your life that empty that you need to feed off others misery??

And if anyone else has any gossip, feel free to let the rest of us know

Frankly you need to grow the hell up.

g'em

nedtheshed attack the post and not the poster please, that was uncalled for.

Wibbs

Das Kitty wrote: »

I have to disagree with this.

Just because you're tempted does not mean you don't love your O/H, however it is probably symptomatic of some serious issues in the relationship.

It's another thing altogether if you're tempted and the only thing stopping you is fear of being caught.

+1. I have been tempted or attracted to another when in a relationship, but that's where it stopped. I've even gone so far as to talk with the object of that attraction to find out why and what was maybe lacking from my own relationship, but that, as I say is where it stopped. Sometimes(well once) it did show me where the relationship was going wrong. I tried to sort that, but we were just incompatible. We split, but even then I didn't go back and seek out the one that tempted me, for some reason. I dunno, I think it would have made me feel like what we had in the relationship would be cheapened in some way? No clue.

jellie

If you had ever been cheated on by someone you loved you wouldnt even consider it. I wouldnt do it to someone i disliked nevermind someone i was in love with.

star-pants

I have never and (would like to think) I will never EVER cheat on someone.
I've never even been remoted tempted, when I'm dating someone I see them and only them. No other guys even make a blip on the radar.

I've been cheated on a few times before & I never understood it. If you don't want to be with your OH / you want to be with someone else, break up, then go do your business.
People can say what they like as excuses - but cheating is very bad in my book & most likely unforgivable.

Dragan

Nope. I've had really rocky patches in relationships where the option would present itself and a part of my brain would go "Do it!" but i would quickly tell it to shut up.

It is not something that ever even entered my head when i am happy in a relationship.

jdivision

As a bloke I've never cheated and wouldn't but have been with a number of girls I knew were.

Amazotheamazing

I dunno, I used to think this was black and white, you either cheat or you don't, but the older I've gotten (not necessarily wiser), the more I realise that cheating just isn't a big deal for a huge amount of people. I used to think I would never cheat, still haven't and don't intend to, but in any long term relationship the potential for the "Grass is Greener Syndrome" kicks in.

Honey-ec

I would imagine you're going to get a fairly skewed response on this, OP, as I can't really see many people who have cheated or would consider it admitting to it for fear of being outed.

I cheated once, years ago (jsut snogging). It was at the tail-end of a very crappy relationship and to be honest, it was the catalyst that made me realise the relationship was going nowhere and that I was better off out of it. I've no regrets whatsoever about it.

banshee_bones

In my first relationship, ( i was 15 ) i kissed another guy, shouldnt have done it,i know that now, I also thought i got away with it too.
Alas i was found out (would seem bloke in question was boyfriends-close friends-older brother!) and he broke up with me over it.
Of course i only found out three years later that he knew and thats why we broke up - he never said at the time.

It was only a kiss but I saw the repercussions and in my next relationship when the idea presented itself, i knew better. Therefore after my one indiscretion no i would never do it to anyone else. Also a lot older and wiser now!

Cathmandooo

Unless I'm oblivious to it then no, cheating doesn't seem to rear its ugly head in my group of close friends / family.

I've seen it happen though with people outside my circle though, friend of a friend type thing. It's sad to see girls being cheated on again and again and forgiving their boyfriends and vice versa. If it happened once then I do think there's still room for discussing things and working out why it happened and what can be done in the future, and see if the trust can be rebuilt. Everyone's human and can make a silly mistake. To cheat twice or more should be an automatic dumpable offence. No excuses are acceptable, they'll always do it again imo.

Personally, no I've never cheated or been cheated on and I'd like to assume neither will ever happen.

allandanyways

Nope, never have and never will. The thought of another girl kissing etc my OH makes my skin crawl, I know people say forgive and forget, but I probably wouldn't be able to even look at him for a very long time if he ever cheated on me, reckon he feels pretty much the same...

I've had moments where I've thought "If I were single...." but never, ever, ever would I act on it, it's just too horrible of a thing to do to a person, what a way to make them feel like they mean nothing to you...

Latchy

It's just not on the agenda at the moement for me ( or her)

Seriiously NO NO NO .

coffee_cake

Never have, never would. He's everything I could ever ask for as it is, even if it wasn't totally against my nature to do such a thing.
Have been cheated on also so , that adds to it too

Faith

I never have and I certainly hope I never would. I can't think about being with anyone other than my OH right now. Why would I possibly want anyone else? And I just think about how crushed I'd be if he cheated on me, so I could never put anyone through that pain.

Unless it was Ryan Reynolds, but he's on my list...

DancingDaisy

I can't ever imagine cheating, I've been with my OH almost 3 years and can honestly say I haven't looked at another guy in that way in these last three years.

I think that if it gets to that stage then you know something is wrong, that there is something missing in the relationship.

Peared

The first page of this thread is a great example of why I stay away from the LL a lot of the time.

Anyhoo, I disagree that looking at somebody with lust in yer eyes is a sign the relationship is in the sh1tter. It's possible to have thoughts and desires about other people and still be happy in your relationship. It's just a lot easier to tell yourself it's not normal but imo it is.