Making Choices - Relationships with Soldiers

Shivers26

Hello all,

My OH is in the army (obviously)

We are due to get married very soon and in order to facilitate this we have to meet with the registrar to give 3 months notice. The problem is this, he is on a course and they are making it very awkward for him to take time off. I know he can but he will miss that day of the course and the test. I hate feeling like I am making him choose but this is not willy nilly stuff here, its our wedding.

I know I cant be accused of being unsupportive of his career, for the 6 months he did his NCO's course I typed his essays and assignments every night, helped him clean his gear, washed those disgusting smelly post-ground exercise uniforms.

What would you do? I have spoken to the registrar and begged and pleaded with her to squeez us in on a day he finished early but it is just not possible. We were lucky to get the date we did

Gunny Hartman

Well it's your wedding and if you can't get another date with the registrar he will just have to take that day! You let him worry about the army side of things. If he misses the test he can do it again! Don't worry too much about it he should take the day to get the registrar's office and all will be well!

Nuttzz

Did you not think of this when setting the wedding date?

What does the course mean for him and to you? Promotion, improved career prospects, extra cash?

Manic Moran

Welcome to Army Life. The Army has a wonderful way of screwing with your plans. There are plenty of upsides, this is the downside.

Why not just give the Registrar 4 months' notice, and schedule the thing for after the course?

NTM

Shivers26

We had a holiday booked and decided to combine it with a small wedding. Unfortunately it is only 3 months away so there is literally no flexibility on the dates.

The course will not get him a promotion or extra cash but it will look good to have it done when he applies for his standards course every year for the next 5 years, which of course will be declined because the unit has 'overseas commitments', 'too many NCO's on courses'.......so off topic there

We'll see how it goes, maybe they will be generous for once. We had to cancel a holiday before because they told him they were sending him on a course and then after we paid €650 to change our flights they decided not to send them. I have little faith when it comes to the army and accommodating people (you lot included)

testicle

I take it you're getting married in a Registry Office?

I was married in a church 3 years ago, and we sent the 3 months notification by post to the registrar ?

testicle

Actually. I see the rules have changed since.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/getting-married/notification_requirements_for_marriage

I see two things here, that may help you.

Firstly, it can be any registrar.
http://www.groireland.ie/registrars.htm
You don't say where you are, but some are open during lunch some days, and others are open some evenings.

And secondly - "If either of you are living abroad or are unable to attend a Registration Office due to serious illness, you should contact a Registrar to get permission to make your 3 month notification by post. If permission is granted, the Registrar will send you a form which you must complete and return."

Shivers26

Yes, having the official side of things done in the registry office here and then a blessing abroad.

I tried some of the registrars today. Literally the only day he could go is this Friday afternoon and after that we are out of time pretty much (when it comes to Fridays). Also conscious of not picking somewhere too far afield, he is working crazy hours right now so I dont exactly want to tell him that on his one short day we have to drive to the country somewhere to meet a registrar.

I explained the whole situation to the registrar and she never suggested that we could do it by post. We are both in the country and nobody is sick. She did say to try another registrar to check the paperwork.

I am still holding out hope that he will get the day off with minimum fuss.

82dgolf

Shivers26 wrote: »

Hello all,

My OH is in the army (obviously)

We are due to get married very soon and in order to facilitate this we have to meet with the registrar to give 3 months notice. The problem is this, he is on a course and they are making it very awkward for him to take time off. I know he can but he will miss that day of the course and the test. I hate feeling like I am making him choose but this is not willy nilly stuff here, its our wedding.

I know I cant be accused of being unsupportive of his career, for the 6 months he did his NCO's course I typed his essays and assignments every night, helped him clean his gear, washed those disgusting smelly post-ground exercise uniforms.

What would you do? I have spoken to the registrar and begged and pleaded with her to squeez us in on a day he finished early but it is just not possible. We were lucky to get the date we did

Hi,

Well best thing is not to panic, As he is a Cpl he should know all he has to do is ask to see the course commander and explain what the situation. There is no way they will tell him sorry you can`t get hitched. By the sound of it is he on a ILSWIC ? Where is the cse on?

Shivers26

Its ok, we got sorted. He was able to take a day off where they had tests scheduled that he has already passed. I pleaded with the registrar and she squeezed us in that day.

I dont know what ILSWIC stands for, but I am pretty sure its not the course he is doing.

82dgolf

Shivers26 wrote: »

Its ok, we got sorted. He was able to take a day off where they had tests scheduled that he has already passed. I pleaded with the registrar and she squeezed us in that day.

I dont know what ILSWIC stands for, but I am pretty sure its not the course he is doing.

Infantry Light Support Weapons Instructors Course..........