Boyfriend's comment

LegacyUser

I'm raging right now. We were out last night (me, bf and some friends) and there was this really slutty looking girl at the bar, tacky dyed blonde hair, low cut top etc, and my boyfriend made a comment to his mate like 'in a heartbeat' which I heard! I asked him what he meant and he said she looked like she'd be really fun in bed, he didn't think it was a big deal to make that comment. I do !

Oh The Humanity

Hey, listen men like sexy women, they will always look, think, comment, wish etc

You need to just accept that.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Stupid to say it in front of you, but no different to what every other attached guy was thinking/would say if their girlfriend wasn't around.

iMax

It sounds like normal heterosexual comment, you sound a little insecure about the whole thing.

We've only your word for it that she was a "really slutty looking girl at the bar, tacky dyed blonde hair, low cut top etc". My wife has dyed blonde hair & wears low cut tops due to having an amazing cleavage & being very proud of it. She's far from slutty.

Why aren't you having it out with him rather than a bunch of anonymous nerds/losers on the net ?

Otis Driftwood

iMax wrote: »

Why aren't you having it out with him rather than a bunch of anonymous nerds/losers on the net ?

Get irony much?:rolleyes:

He was a bit tactless OP but hardly the end of the world in fairness.

iMax

nedtheshed wrote: »

Get irony much?:rolleyes:

I was being ironic. I guess I wasn't ironic enough for it to be noticed.

Slow Motion

OP your boyfriend was stupid to make that comment in front of you and pretty thoughtless, however most guys would make comments like that when on their own, he probably does deserve a slap, but more for not thinking of your feelings than the comment itself, I wouldn't loose too much sleep over it to be honest!

LegacyUser

i guess the op might be feeling a bit embarrassed that when shes out with his mates hes telling his mates he fancies this other girl in front of her. tactless and stupid but guys think about that stuff a lot. he did say he thought she was great in the bed, ie he would buy what she was selling. Nothing there to say hes thinking about cheating or even he thinks shes nice outside of the sack

LegacyUser

Dont think your gonna get the advice that you were hoping for here OP!! Yea, bit stupid of your boyfriend to say it in front of you alright but probably didnt think you would hear. Just normal male behaviour really. Id say he has probably said the same comment a hundred times or more since you have been with him, its what men do but this is just the first time you happened to hear. Its just a throw away comment and it means nothing. Have you never looked at another guy and thought "hell yea"!!! Sure if my sister and her husband ever saw somebody hot they would say it in front of each other and neither would think anything of it. Its only your insecurity that is making you make an issue about this.

Blue_Wolf

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Stupid to say it in front of you, but no different to what every other attached guy was thinking/would say if their girlfriend wasn't around.

I'm sorry but I think it's a good thing he said it unfront of you. He knows you trust him and wouldn't think he would act on his comments.
Be glad he shares everything with you.

Like Oh the Humanity said, we are like that so accept it.

Cha-Cha-Cha

Luv,

Yer fella just kinda was under the influence of things hormonal/down south - and unfortunately, the reflex that made those words pop out is far faster than the brain and commonsense to filter. Acknowledge that the gal was hot. Don't feel that he feels that that means you're less hot. And, an addeded benefit, you'll find that you reap the benefits later in the evening.

Gyalist

Slow Motion wrote: »

OP your boyfriend was stupid to make that comment in front of you and pretty thoughtless, however most guys would make comments like that when on their own, he probably does deserve a slap, but more for not thinking of your feelings than the comment itself, I wouldn't loose too much sleep over it to be honest!

He probably deserves a slap, eh? What if the roles were reversed. Would the woman deserve a slap too?

Slow Motion

Gyalist wrote: »

He probably deserves a slap, eh? What if the roles were reversed. Would the woman deserve a slap too?

Yes! And the slap was meant as metaphorical!

Kimia

I think that your boyfriend was trying to be 'the man' in front of his mates. Still got it and all that.

It was disrespectful and you should call him on it.

How would he like it if you said to your best friend that you would sh*g that guy at the bar in a heartbeat, with him standing right next to you? (Ask him this)

I'd say he'd be well p*ssed.

speedboatchase

Gyalist wrote: »

He probably deserves a slap, eh? What if the roles were reversed. Would the woman deserve a slap too?

Very good point, hate when people are casual about what is still pretty serious; violence against your partner. Nobody deserves a slap in a relationship

_blank_

This, again...sigh.

Right, you need to grow up a bit, in my opinion.

So what if he looks at other girls, and comments on them?

How insecure are you in the relationship?

The night before St Patrick's Day I was out with my gf and a group of people, lads and girls.

Went for a smoke with my OH and spotted a girl with an amazing set of legs on the street, I said "Woah, check out the legs on her". Her reaction? A bit of a laugh.

Kimia

Des wrote: »

This, again...sigh.

Right, you need to grow up a bit, in my opinion.

So what if he looks at other girls, and comments on them?

How insecure are you in the relationship?

The night before St Patrick's Day I was out with my gf and a group of people, lads and girls.

Went for a smoke with my OH and spotted a girl with an amazing set of legs on the street, I said "Woah, check out the legs on her". Her reaction? A bit of a laugh.

Ah in fairness though, you didn't say to the gf that you'd ride the leggy one in a heartbeat.. although I know what you're saying.

I personally don't care if my bf checks out other women - I actually slag him a bit and make him out to be a lech which he hates.

I do think though that he went a bit far with that comment and it was insensitive.

LegacyUser

raging111 wrote: »

I'm raging right now. We were out last night (me, bf and some friends) and there was this really slutty looking girl at the bar, tacky dyed blonde hair, low cut top etc, and my boyfriend made a comment to his mate like 'in a heartbeat' which I heard! I asked him what he meant and he said she looked like she'd be really fun in bed, he didn't think it was a big deal to make that comment. I do !

Maybe he's right?

Give the man a break. If he was straying then let him have both barrels, but for what he said there, get a life and give the man a break.


Keep that attitude up and you'll drive him away. (and he'd be well justified in going.)

Beruthiel

raging111 wrote: »

I'm raging right now. We were out last night (me, bf and some friends) and there was this really slutty looking girl at the bar, tacky dyed blonde hair, low cut top etc, and my boyfriend made a comment to his mate like 'in a heartbeat' which I heard! I asked him what he meant and he said she looked like she'd be really fun in bed, he didn't think it was a big deal to make that comment. I do !

Your b/f is guilty for having as much tact and subtly as a sledghammer.
That's about it though.
Don't fool yourself for one second that eye candy is never checked out.
Hell, you probably do it yourself when you see a handsome man.

Nervous Wreck

Your bf sounds like a moron. Not for the comment or anything, just for being dumb enough to say it in front of you. And then for reiterating with "she looks like she'd be fun in bed". Pretty stupid thing to say to your OH and fairly disrespectful. But... boys will be boys. I'm sure you make the odd comment like that to your girl friends, no? Difference is, you have more sense than to say it around your OH. Just tell him you don't want him talking like that to/around you. Then, leave it behind.

kevmy

Kimia wrote: »

I think that your boyfriend was trying to be 'the man' in front of his mates. Still got it and all that.

It was disrespectful and you should call him on it.

How would he like it if you said to your best friend that you would sh*g that guy at the bar in a heartbeat, with him standing right next to you? (Ask him this)

I'd say he'd be well p*ssed.

Don't know about that. I wouldn't say I would be in the least pissed off if my gf said that. More interested than annoyed

Kimia

kevmy wrote: »

Don't know about that. I wouldn't say I would be in the least pissed off if my gf said that. More interested than annoyed

Really?? How interesting. I would have always thought that boys would be annoyed and feel less manly or whatever.

Sorry back on topic

I still think it was insensitive - in fairness!

beth-lou

I think it depends on the person involved, male or female.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, just tell him you'd rather not be privy to those details. Personally I wouldn't be into it. But I am fully aware that he admires other women. I just don't want to be the one he's admiring them with. Same goes for him. Of course I see men that I find attractive but I ain't gonna drool over them in front of him. They are our boundries. You need to work out yours. Just tell him. It doesn't really mean anything.

Katgurl

OP, your boyfriend didn't mean anything by it & believe me would not have given that girl another thought after the words left his mouth. There is really nothing for you to be upset or jealous about. For one thing, he didn't mean you to hear.

Make a lighthearted joke about it. Next time something similar happens point at your boobs & say "have you noticed these... hence I am NOT one of the boys... perhaps you could keep that sort of chat for them, i'm not too interested in it myself."

And then forget about it. Insecurity / paranoia is extremely unattractive.

n1ck

beth-lou wrote: »

I think it depends on the person involved, male or female.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, just tell him you'd rather not be privy to those details. Personally I wouldn't be into it. But I am fully aware that he admires other women. I just don't want to be the one he's admiring them with. Same goes for him. Of course I see men that I find attractive but I ain't gonna drool over them in front of him. They are our boundries. You need to work out yours. Just tell him. It doesn't really mean anything.

He was hardly drooling over her, he said "In a heartbeat" and from what the OP posted he looked and appreaciated, it doesn't mean he's gonna touch. It's a bit of banter with his mate, although I do think he was a bit silly to do it in front of her.

beth-lou

n1ck wrote: »

He was hardly drooling over her, he said "In a heartbeat" and from what the OP posted he looked and appreaciated, it doesn't mean he's gonna touch. It's a bit of banter with his mate, although I do think he was a bit silly to do it in front of her.

I didn't say he was drooling now did I.

But in a heartbeat, means I'd shag her in a heartbeat. Not something most girls want or need to hear. Stupid of him really.

n1ck

beth-lou wrote: »

I didn't say he was drooling now did I.

But in a heartbeat, means I'd shag her in a heartbeat. Not something most girls want or need to hear. Stupid of him really.

I know what it means, it's exactly the same as "would ya?" Girls do exactly the same thing when they're with their friends so don't pretend they don't. You've gotta be really insecure for a little comment like that to bother you, if he was flirting with her or whatever, then yea I understand but he wasn't.

Nothing wrong with window shopping, as long as you don't buy.

beth-lou

Eh did you read my post??? I said girls do it too.

I just tend to do it with my mates. I don't feel the urge to tell my OH of every guy I find attractive. I never have.

n1ck

beth-lou wrote: »

Eh did you read my post??? I said girls do it too.

I just tend to do it with my mates. I don't feel the urge to tell my OH of every guy I find attractive. I never have.

I don't think the OP's OH would have said anything either to her except for the fact she questioned what he said and he was doing it with his mates, only difference was it was within ear shot of his OH which was silly.

beth-lou

n1ck wrote: »

I don't think the OP's OH would have said anything either to her except for the fact she questioned what he said and he was doing it with his mates, only difference was it was within ear shot of his OH which was silly.

Exactly. That was my point. He was silly.
But human.

Nitxteha

He was rude, but it's not a big deal. If he keeps making those comments in front of you tell him you don't like it and to stop. If he doesn't stop, try making the same kind of comments about guys and see how he likes it