What is going on?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am utterly confused by a situation with a guy at the moment. I've known him for about 18 months but we were both in relationships when we first met. To be honest I wasn't attracted to him straight off it was something that hit me one day when we were chatting. It hit me like a lightening bolt and I realised I was actually mad about it. I mentionned to a friend that I kind of like him and she said it was about time I'd noticed it she'd seen it coming for months.

Anyway about 6 months ago we finally ended up kissing and it was lovely and we had a lovely evening laughing and joking together. The problem was he was moving away for work 2 weeks later. We met a few times before he left. In fact I was the last person he saw before he left to go home and then he left the country a few days later. We spent hours on the phone the night before he left and his last hour before he got the plane we killed on the phone.

Then he was gone and that was ok. We said we'd see how things worked out in a year when his foreign contract expires.(Its too long distances for commuting) The thing is since he left we email once a week and talk on msn anytime we are both on(maybe every two weeks or so). We also text each other occasionally and he does say things in his drunk messages like he can't wait to see me.

He is home next week for Easter for a week so we are going to see each other.

Basically I'm utterly confused about what he actually wants! He still has at least another 6 months living more than an 8 hour flight away! I haven't actually even gone on a date with anyone in that time(I have been asked out but I wasn't interested in the guys) and as far as I know there is no gf in his life.

Am I kidding myself that he might want a relationship too? We have both been burned by long distance relationships so I don't expect any form of 'relationship' while he is away but I am confused full stop... Do we have a chance of working out?

Sorry this is so long!

cantdecide

Talk.

Ask him if he know you still have strong feelings for him and you miss him and that you think that if the working abroad thing wasn't in the way, you wished you could see him. If he comes back with similar feelings tell him that you suppose you've actually been 'faithful' (I'm far too tired now to think of a more eloquent way of putting it) and you wondered in what way you will see each other at Easter...

I was in almost exactly the same situation and we actually ended up deciding to do long distance. Originally we said we'd see how it went when he got back and maybe get back together, but we both realised we had no interest in being with anyone else. Hopefully it will work out but it had to be tried or there would have been a lot of regrets!

LegacyUser

There was one thing I didn't mention in my first post. We work for the same company and when he comes back the chances are we will work directly together. At the moment we are keeping to the general friendship model and I am completely and utterly afraid to be blunt with him in a chat in case it gets very awkward next year at work if he doesn't feel the same. I know that makes me a huge coward. Maybe I should start thinking of subtle ways to tell him. He has been putting stuff into his last few emails about his lack of gf or interest over there so I guess that was a hint at me maybe?

We both know all the same work friends from working in the same dept and having a wider work circle which is all the same people too.
I have never done the work and relationship thing before so I guess part of my confusion stems from that.

Stefan Enough Hedgehog I must admit though you do give me some hope. I had a long distance relationship before that involved different continents too(only for a short while) and different countries when we managed to be in the same continent and it was great but got to a stage where leaving him after only 2 days a month was too much and it wasn't feasible for either of us at the time to consider job changes.

I know in my heart though that this situation is different... there is an end to living so far apart and it is only 6 months away.