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Men!!!

  • 03-04-2009 10:09pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 49


    Ok...
    My boyfriend is moving to a different city and i am staying behind...
    Can anyone tell me what are our chances of survival as a couple?
    I don't mind getting advice of girls and/or guys!!!
    Just anything...plz:):):)


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,442 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    I would say yes unfortunately. Long distance relationship can't work out. I would say, just call it a day and just be friends:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Moved from AH.
    The above posts snuck in before the move.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,435 ✭✭✭✭redout


    I would say the chances of it working are not good. I know a girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend after 6 months. She is here and he is in Central America. 6 months was still a decent run though. He said he just couldnt wait no more which was a bit odd considering she is back home in 3 months.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13 LimerickLass


    how far away are ye going to be from eachother?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 270 ✭✭bicardi19


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    I would say yes unfortunately. Long distance relationship can't work out. I would say, just call it a day and just be friends:cool:

    bull. i moved to america leaving my oh behind. we were only together 3 months when I left. But knew I had to get it out of my system and couldnt put my life on hold. I came back six months later.
    We arenow very happily married with four kids, not saying its the easiest thing in the world but its not impossible.
    you dont mention how long you will be apart for though


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 185 ✭✭Quaver


    Ok...
    My boyfriend is moving to a different city and i am staying behind...
    Can anyone tell me what are our chances of survival as a couple?
    I don't mind getting advice of girls and/or guys!!!
    Just anything...plz:):):)

    I did the long distance thing for a year, it is hard but I'm defnintely glad we gave it a try. We talked every day and it made the time we did get together even more special. It didn't work out in the end, but for several reasons, not just the distance thing.

    Every couple is different, it works for some, it doesn't work for others. What harm can there be in trying? At least then whatever happens you won't be wondering "what if".

    Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 270 ✭✭bicardi19


    you say to a different city! Does this mean you will still be in the same country.
    it can only work though if you both really want it too!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    We'll be about 300km apart but we cant see eachother dureing d week. And also when he is off on the weekends ill be working so all and all ur talkin bout max of 12hrs together every week!!!:confused:


  • Registered Users Posts: 13 LimerickLass


    Is it a permanent move? It will be hard but if ye are willing to put the effort in than theres no reason why it wont work..!

    Best of luck to you both :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 270 ✭✭bicardi19


    youll have to decide if youre happy to live with a long distance relationship.
    Only the two of you can make it work.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    For now it is not a permanent move...but the more time he spends there, the more he likes it!
    We've been goin out for a year and i love the guy to bits!
    I know he loves me too but i am just afraid that the longer we spend apart, the harder it we'll be to still feel close and love one another the way we did!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 120 ✭✭smileykey


    You'll still see each other almost every week and you can talk to each other everyday. If you are both willing to try then it may work. I've never done long distance myself but from what I've seen of friends who have, trust and insecurity is what seems to have gotten in the way in the end. If you trust each other and are confident enough to know the other is being faithful etc then you may make it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    smileykey wrote: »
    You'll still see each other almost every week and you can talk to each other everyday. If you are both willing to try then it may work. I've never done long distance myself but from what I've seen of friends who have, trust and insecurity is what seems to have gotten in the way in the end. If you trust each other and are confident enough to know the other is being faithful etc then you may make it.

    Well thats my problem...its not that i do not trust him i just do not really trust women around him! He is a very attractive guy and also very naive. He never knows when a girl is flirting with him...she could be practically askin him on a date and he still wont know she is into him!
    Dats wat gets me!!!
    And about insecurities...well i think every woman has one or two of those!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 120 ✭✭smileykey


    Well thats my problem...its not that i do not trust him i just do not really trust women around him! He is a very attractive guy and also very naive. He never knows when a girl is flirting with him...she could be practically askin him on a date and he still wont know she is into him!
    Dats wat gets me!!!
    And about insecurities...well i think every woman has one or two of those!!
    well if he doesn't realise a girl is coming onto him, he'll notice by the time they try to kiss him and if you trust him, then you'll trust he'll push her away?
    How long are you guys together?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    I know waht you mean.
    We've been goin out for a year now. To be honest it has been the best year of my life!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 120 ✭✭smileykey


    I know waht you mean.
    We've been goin out for a year now. To be honest it has been the best year of my life!!!

    Then work at it and make sure it works, don't just give up because of a little distance. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't. If it does great. What have you to lose?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    Of course ill give it a shot, ill give it my best shot cos i want it to work out!!!
    And if it doesnt at least i wont be askin myself wat if?!!
    Thanks a mil!:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    bicardi19 wrote: »
    bull. i moved to america leaving my oh behind. we were only together 3 months when I left. But knew I had to get it out of my system and couldnt put my life on hold. I came back six months later.
    We arenow very happily married with four kids, not saying its the easiest thing in the world but its not impossible.
    you dont mention how long you will be apart for though

    A mate of mine met an American girl while she was in Ireland on an exchange program. He was in Uni here, she was in Uni over there. They conducted a long distance relationship for 3 years and it worked perfectly. They are married now :)

    It can work for anyone so long as they are intent on making it work :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    r3nu4l wrote: »
    A mate of mine met an American girl while she was in Ireland on an exchange program. He was in Uni here, she was in Uni over there. They conducted a long distance relationship for 3 eyars and it worked perfectly. They are married now :)

    It can work for anyone so long as they are intent on making it work :)


    Jesus, people like you make my day!!!
    I know that there is still good people left around...just hard to find dem


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    Jesus, people like you make my day!!!
    I know that there is still good people left around...just hard to find dem

    Guess I'd better not mention the other disasters I know about :D
    I'm joking :) They are now living together in New York and loving married life. These days when you have email, Skype, Gmail video chat and all sorts, it's easier to keep relationships going so I hope you guys use technology to it's best advantage and keep in touch that way :) Good luck with it all :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 wonder.woman


    r3nu4l wrote: »
    Guess I'd better not mention the other disasters I know about :D
    I'm joking :) They are now living together in New York and loving married life. These days when you have email, Skype, Gmail video chat and all sorts, it's easier to keep relationships going so I hope you guys use technology to it's best advantage and keep in touch that way :) Good luck with it all :)

    Thanks a mil!!!
    We'll do our best...well i will!!!
    I am sure he will too!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55 ✭✭Surly


    I've been with my OH for five years now - she lived in France for the first two of those and is in London now, while I've stayed in Dublin. Have to say, we've never had any problems.

    There are a number of good aspects to having a long distance relationship;
    - You appreciate the time you spend together more than you otherwise would.
    - Knowing that your meeting your good sir next weekend (or whenever) always gives you something to look forward to.
    - The relationship stays, eh, fresh for longer.

    The only piece of advice I would give (if you're asking) is not to worry. Getting anxious over thoughts of other girls flirting with him will drive you nuts, and it's just a waste of your energy. Besides, as long as the two of you want to make it work you've nothing to worry about.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    Thanks a mil!!!
    We'll do our best...well i will!!!
    I am sure he will too!!!

    Aye, just try not to worry, it can be difficult when it's a weekend night and you know he's going out and you're not. The mind can go into overdrive and start imagining all sorts of weirdness :D Don't let it get to you and don't spend every five minutes texting or calling him. Have some faith, if it's meant to be then he and you will be good :)
    Surly wrote: »
    I've been with my OH for five years now - she lived in France for the first two of those and is in London now, while I've stayed in Dublin. Have to say, we've never had any problems.

    There are a number of good aspects to having a long distance relationship;
    - You appreciate the time you spend together more than you otherwise would.
    - Knowing that your meeting your good sir next weekend (or whenever) always gives you something to look forward to.
    - The relationship stays, eh, fresh for longer.

    The only piece of advice I would give (if you're asking) is not to worry. Getting anxious over thoughts of other girls flirting with him will drive you nuts, and it's just a waste of your energy. Besides, as long as the two of you want to make it work you've nothing to worry about.

    The advice from Surly here is spot on! Good call (Great username Surly!! :))


  • Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭cazmcco


    Of course it can work if ye want it to.

    Iv a friend who's been going out with her American boyfriend for almost three years. Its not always easy, but they get through it and there great together when they go see each other. They both adore each other, which is more than i can say for most non-distant relationships i know of. We workeed it out before a few months back and at that stage they had literally spent about 52 weeks of the three years in each others company. BUT shes does get alot of nice cheap holidays out of it :D!!!

    Personally, i only get to see my fella at the weekends as well, and as were both up to our eye balls with college work at the moment even the time at the weekends can be limited. Its been pretty much the same way since we got together almost two and a half years ago. Hes in college about an hours drive away while im in college at home. I some times get up during the week, but that has been seldom this year.
    And on top of that there is a very high chance that i will be moving abroad for a couple of years for college this coming september.

    Who knows what will happen, but were willing to give it ago. Sure its only a flight away and its cheaper to fly abroad than get a train or bus to any where in this country when you fly with ryanair (for all their faults, there feckn handy!!!)

    Just go with it and if its to be it will be!

    Best of luck!!!!:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,442 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    bicardi19 wrote: »
    bull. i moved to america leaving my oh behind. we were only together 3 months when I left. But knew I had to get it out of my system and couldnt put my life on hold. I came back six months later.
    We arenow very happily married with four kids, not saying its the easiest thing in the world but its not impossible.
    you dont mention how long you will be apart for though
    r3nu4l wrote: »
    A mate of mine met an American girl while she was in Ireland on an exchange program. He was in Uni here, she was in Uni over there. They conducted a long distance relationship for 3 years and it worked perfectly. They are married now :)

    It can work for anyone so long as they are intent on making it work :)


    Some very nice stories, but tbh, I would say there is a slim chance that a long distance relationship can work, some people get lucky, some people don't. It all really goes down to how much you love one another, and how long you can last without each other. But hey I guess the same goes for marriage as well.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Very strange thread title, given the subject matter, but regarding the "long distance" thingy, the fact that you're both busy people is actually a plus.....ye won't be stuck bored and annoyed that the OH isn't around to do something with.

    If ye both want it to work, it'll work; as someone said above, VoIP and Skype means ye can talk for free, and as for meeting up - well, they say "what's seldom is wonderful" ;) !

    There'll be the odd hiccup, where someone's knackered after a hard day / week and travelling a long distance to "stay in" mightn't seem THAT appealing (then again, it might! :D) but as long as ye're solid and understand each other and want it to work, it's got as much chance of working as if ye were on the same street...

    Best of luck!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 831 ✭✭✭achtungbarry


    Ok...
    My boyfriend is moving to a different city and i am staying behind...
    Can anyone tell me what are our chances of survival as a couple?
    I don't mind getting advice of girls and/or guys!!!
    Just anything...plz:):):)

    Don't listen to the negative stuff. Myself and gf lived in seperate countries for a year. Been together 10 years now, married for two. It's not easy but it is doable.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I had a long-distance with my current bf, and you know what really helped us? A web cam. We got to "see" eachother every night, even if only for a few minutes, and we were able to get a bit...creative, shall I say?, with intimacy. It wasn't perfect, but it helped.
    What's stopping you from moving to where he is, if I might ask?


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