Security Guards that think they're Dirty Harry

jayteecork

So I had a big bag full of Empty Cans that I took down to the bottle bank.

Dumped the cans and went over to a rubbish bin outside a multi-story car park.
As I was throwing the plastic bag into the bin I thought I heard someone banging on a window. looked around for a bit, couldn't see anything.

Next thing some head-the-ball security guard comes running out, reaches into the bin, grabs the plastic bag and shoves it back at me!!

I was utterly surprised and then he says "There's no ****ing domestic rubbish to be put in those bins, take it back or I'll get you DONE FOR IT"

I was completely shocked by all this and as soon as I regained my composure I explained that it was the bag used to bring cans to the bottle bank across the road.

He took exception to this and actually squared up to me, looking for a confrontation. I decided to walk away form the looney and whispered something under my breath, which he heard. He then proceeded to walk briskly after me!

I kept walking as it's a no-win situation with these goons.

Anyone have any similar tales, I'd imagine there's plenty of these sort of fellas around, on some power trip.

SV

Why didn't you hit him?


tbh, if I did that to someone I'd be expecting to get knocked out.

Ruu_Old

Sounds like you lost your bottle. *dodges tomatoes*

Blazer

Should have told him to fcuk off or you'd sue his ass.
I hate security guards...even worse than cops..swanning around with their radios roaring in them in "code red, code red, charlie team go go go".
I actually heard some gob****e saying this into this walkie talkie at work when I was walking into work.
8 hours later I was still laughing at the stupid cvnt.

Everyone one of these saps harbours a dream that they're really cops etc.
It's to take their mind off that they have the most ****e job in the world..even worse than working for Mr Binmen which is good honest work.
These gimps just stand around looking tough and occasionaly drag their knuckles off the ground to talk into their walkie.
And have you ever seen some of the jackets? Goddamn FBI jackets makes them look even more pathetic.

jayteecork

Hit him?

Come on, no point in resorting to violence.

You're only lowering yourself to his level, and he was a stocky young nutter who probably would have kicked my ass anyway.

It probably would have made his day if I struck him.

Best to leave these sort of guys well alone.

happyhappy

did he have a barry mc guigan tasche and slip on shoes with white socks and a load of police badges on his tie???:D:D:D

jayteecork

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

Goddamn FBI jackets makes them look even more pathetic.

This guy was indeed wearing a FBI jacket.

SV

jayteecork wrote: »

Hit him?

Come on, no point in resorting to violence.

You're only lowering yourself to his level, and he was a stocky young nutter who probably would have kicked my ass anyway.

It probably would have made his day if I struck him.

Best to leave these sort of guys well alone.

these sort of guys?

lol, ah come on now, so what sort of guy is a security guard? I am liking these generalizations though

galwayrush

At last he can't carry a ****ing gun.:D

Dave!

Ruu wrote: »

Sounds like you lost your bottle. *dodges tomatoes*

Can it.

jayteecork

SV wrote: »

these sort of guys?

lol, ah come on now, so what sort of guy is a security guard? I am liking these generalizations though

I have nothing against security guards in general, the "sort of guy" I'm refering to is the confrontational, stupid looking, neanderthal sort of guy.

Blazer

jayteecork wrote: »

This guy was indeed wearing a FBI jacket.

see..what did i tell you
should have laughed into this face saying "sorry Mr Wannabe FBI Sir".

JerryHandbag

Its a well known fact that security guards have small/no penises. I read it......somewhere

Local-womanizer

jayteecork wrote: »

This guy was indeed wearing a FBI jacket.

Maybe he was FBI?Anti-terror bin watch or something....

wandatowell

minimum wage is a bitch

javaboy

That sketch show with Simon Pegg's sidekick and the guy who looks like a chuckle brother did a great skit on the stereotypical shopping centre security guard.

Sharpshooter

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Maybe he was FBI?Anti-terror bin watch or something....

Federal Bin Investigator?

qc3

went to a pub one night,was told ,not getting in.when i asked why and that it was my 1st time going to the bar,was told not to be smart that they don't let scum it. I said back,ok i'll go and keep your wife company,in not so nice a way.he gave me an awful thump making me fall to the ground.i let on that i was out for a while,got up an rang the gardai.later took him and the owner to court and got a nice 20 Gs.i smile every time i pass him now. don't think he will let me in anymore;);)

Sharpshooter

qc3 wrote: »

went to a pub one night,was told ,not getting in.when i asked why and that it was my 1st time going to the bar,was told not to be smart that they don't let scum it. I said back,ok i'll go and keep your wife company,in not so nice a way.he gave me an awful thump making me fall to the ground.i let on that i was out for a while,got up an rang the gardai.later took him and the owner to court and got a nice 20 Gs.i smile every time i pass him now. don't think he will let me in anymore;);)

He knows now, you know that,don't you?

DanGerMus

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Maybe he was FBI?Anti-terror bin watch or something....

Yeah maybe he thought it was a bin over laden.

winston82

**walks up to nightclub with 8 friends(4 wait behind about 2 minutes)**

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: How many of yis together?
Me: Just the 4 of us tonight?
Bouncer: Where ye comin from?
Me: What the fcuk does it matter where i'm coming from? Are you able to judge who i am by where ive just come from?
Bouncer: Sorry lads, not tonight
Me: Go fcuk yourself
Bouncer: what ye say?
Me: Ye heard me

/goes to coppers

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: Have yis had a few already
Friend: about 9 or 10 pints
Bouncer: ok lads, take it easy inside, enjoy your nite.
Friend: Cheers buddy!

eroo

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

Should have told him to fcuk off or you'd sue his ass.
I hate security guards...even worse than cops..swanning around with their radios roaring in them in "code red, code red, charlie team go go go".
I actually heard some gob****e saying this into this walkie talkie at work when I was walking into work.
8 hours later I was still laughing at the stupid cvnt.

Everyone one of these saps harbours a dream that they're really cops etc.
It's to take their mind off that they have the most ****e job in the world..even worse than working for Mr Binmen which is good honest work.
These gimps just stand around looking tough and occasionaly drag their knuckles off the ground to talk into their walkie.
And have you ever seen some of the jackets? Goddamn FBI jackets makes them look even more pathetic.

If you were laughing for 8 hours your job must be pretty crap.

eroo

wandatowell wrote: »

minimum wage is a bitch

It's higher than minimum wage;)

pajodublin

A few years ago i had a security guard tell me i wasnt allowed into a shop because i had motorcycle helmet in my hand!!!!!!!!

Seriously.....

Borneo Fnctn

jayteecork wrote: »

Hit him?

Come on, no point in resorting to violence.

Yeah well you're resorting to rational thinking. KNOCK HIM OUT.

RATM

qc3 wrote: »

went to a pub one night,was told ,not getting in.when i asked why and that it was my 1st time going to the bar,was told not to be smart that they don't let scum it. I said back,ok i'll go and keep your wife company,in not so nice a way.he gave me an awful thump making me fall to the ground.i let on that i was out for a while,got up an rang the gardai.later took him and the owner to court and got a nice 20 Gs.i smile every time i pass him now. don't think he will let me in anymore;);)

The fact that you were told not to be smart implies you were acting smart in the first place. When you then implied his wife was a scumbag you were acting even smarter. And when you lay down and played dead like a footballer you were smarter again :rolleyes:

I'd say pretty much any bouncer in the country would give you a slap if you implied his wife was a scumbag, it just baffles me as to why the slap you got deserves €20K. Must've been the Oscar winning performance, no? Ronaldo fan by any chance?

Zillah

I'd have asked him, with a serene smile and cheery demeanour, if he became a security guard because the police wouldn't take him.

fourfiveone

jayteecork wrote: »

As I was throwing the plastic bag into the bin I thought I heard someone banging on a window. looked around for a bit, couldn't see anything

Just think, if you'd legged it then, he'd have gone to defcon 1 and radioed in a tactical airstrike on your behind. I'd say you were lucky to escape with your life.

Blazer

eroo wrote: »

If you were laughing for 8 hours your job must be pretty crap.

IT ..sucks balls.
but not as much as security guard

omahaid

SV wrote: »

these sort of guys?

lol, ah come on now, so what sort of guy is a security guard? I am liking these generalizations though

Goddamn it , it's people who like generalizations again, I fupping hate all of them baxtards

SV

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

IT ..sucks balls.
but not as much as security guard

Why, have you ever done security? Or do you just think it's bad because they tend to be arseholes to you?

omahaid

I did a good few years in security (industrial). Here are some stories...

One night, when a supervisor drove to a building site where a guy was working, he got out of the van, walked around, couldn't find yerman, next thing, a huge crash and there we the security guard after jumping off the side of the building covered in shoe polish like a ninja, thought the supervisor was an intruder

The number of people the used to radio in their hourly checkins from the pub... numerous

Although, it is the greatest job in the world for students. I studied and worked for four years, got a 1:1 because of the boredom alone. I've since lobbied at my new job to allow me to work nights, dunno why the won't, it's like they dont like results or [sic]someing

eroo

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

IT ..sucks balls.
but not as much as security guard

Many people would say otherwise;)

SV wrote: »

Why, have you ever done security? Or do you just think it's bad because they tend to be arseholes to you?

+1

T-Square

jayteecork wrote: »

I kept walking as it's a no-win situation with these goons.

How did you come to that erroneous conclusion?
You should learn to stand-up for yourself.

Fajitas!

winston82 wrote: »

**walks up to nightclub with 8 friends(4 wait behind about 2 minutes)**

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: How many of yis together?
Me: Just the 4 of us tonight?
Bouncer: Where ye comin from?
Me: What the fcuk does it matter where i'm coming from? Are you able to judge who i am by where ive just come from?
Bouncer: Sorry lads, not tonight
Me: Go fcuk yourself
Bouncer: what ye say?
Me: Ye heard me

/goes to coppers

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: Have yis had a few already
Friend: about 9 or 10 pints
Bouncer: ok lads, take it easy inside, enjoy your nite.
Friend: Cheers buddy!

You went to Coppers buddy - You still lost.

Fajitas!

T-Square wrote: »

How did you come to that erroneous conclusion?
You should learn to stand-up for yourself.

Why bother - People with attitude problems are going to try bring you down to their level. It'll be much more annoying for them if you just ignore them, if they're looking for a fight, just go to the management, or make a scene.

"Excuse me, step away from me now" will do a lot better than "yore ma's a slag", regardless of winning a court case/money or not. I'd rather not risk my teeth in a fight.

Darragh29

Where did that happen??? I'd love to run into him! Big man squaring up...

Darragh29

I have a mate who carries a little plastic bag that the banks use for coins, around with him. If he thinks someone is trying to draw him into a confrontation, he'll take the plastic bag out of his jacket pocket and hand it to whoever is putting it up to him and say, "that's for putting your front teeth into when you'll be picking them up off the ground in a minute if you keep it up"...

T-Square

Fajitas! wrote: »

Why bother

1. "Excuse me, step away from me now" will do a lot better than
2. "yore ma's a slag"

I suggest approach 1, repeated several times, increasingly loudly, while *walking* not running away.

If that fails,
open hand to the face
then a heel of the hand to the throat,
and then the same to the face repeatedly.

"You were afraid for your life,
he came onto your like a mad man about a plastic bag....."

Fajitas!

Darragh29 wrote: »

I have a mate who carries a little plastic bag that the banks use for coins, around with him. If he thinks someone is trying to draw him into a confrontation, he'll take the plastic bag out of his jacket pocket and hand it to whoever is putting it up to him and say, "that's for putting your front teeth into when you'll be picking them up off the ground in a minute if you keep it up"...

He's asking for some scumbag to knock out his own teeth to be fair...

Lord Trollington

this is no lie, and i wont mention the night club, but i was once dragged out of a night club for skippin the Q for the coats at the end of the...it might sound hard to believe, and your prob all thinking i was blocked drunk and causing trouble in the Q but....

funny thing was i hadnt been drinking because i was driving. And reason i skipped ahead was there was a couple of women rooting in ther bags for the tokens for the jackets so i nipped ahead of them.
In true Rambo style the Security Man/bouncer came over, yells out "no Q skipping... out" or something to that effect, grabs my left arm bends it up behind my back to my
Neck and marches me down 2 flights of steps some of which i nearly fell down out the back door telling me to go around come in the front and go to the back of the Q...

Its a good few years ago and i had only started college so i was young and slight at the.i'd step on his face now if he tried it, but he prob wouldnt because the type of him would only do that stuff to young fella's anyways...
i see him around every so often and i'd love to rip him a new @rsehole...
but i actually feel sorry for him because he prob wanted to be in the Gardai, Army, FCA or prison warden and was refused... not his fault he's a thick F*ck.

T-Square

let it go

I'm sure he wouldn't even remember you

Naos

winston82 wrote: »

**walks up to nightclub with 8 friends(4 wait behind about 2 minutes)**

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: How many of yis together?
Me: Just the 4 of us tonight?
Bouncer: Where ye comin from?
Me: What the fcuk does it matter where i'm coming from? Are you able to judge who i am by where ive just come from?
Bouncer: Sorry lads, not tonight
Me: Go fcuk yourself
Bouncer: what ye say?
Me: Ye heard me

/goes to coppers

Bouncer was spot on not to let you in - see my post on this topic before.

Also, there is a difference between a bouncer and a security guard.

sendic

Naos wrote: »

Also, there is a difference between a bouncer and a security guard.

one of them was smart enough not to get a job standing in the cold dealing with a load of drunk idiots?

Darragh29

Fajitas! wrote: »

He's asking for some scumbag to knock out his own teeth to be fair...

Not this boyo. When he gets into a brawl, it's like a switch is thrown in his head and he goes all in. A scrapper if there ever was one, poetry in motion to watch... And the thing is, he's not tall, around 5'5" I've seen him getting in two brawls, once with a muppet doorman in a pub who wouldn't let us into the pub, "regulars only caper" and your man hasn't stood at the same door since.

Darragh29

Naos wrote: »

Bouncer was spot on not to let you in - see my post on this topic before.

Also, there is a difference between a bouncer and a security guard.

Read your post. Just have a think for a minute about what you have posted in that thread.

You've probably paid anywhere between 10 and 20 Euro to get into a club. You needed to leave the club for a minute and go to a nearby ATM, probably because they cleaned you out with the f*cking extortionate prices they charge for drinks, you decided to get a breakfast roll because you wanted a bite to eat and you are then grateful for the bouncers letting you back into the same kip that charged you to get in in the first place and then cleaned you out of cash so that you had to go back out to an ATM???

So what if you have to go to an ATM, so what if you decide to eat something outside the club. You've paid over 10 Euro to get in, what's the problem!?!?!?!

Local-womanizer

Darragh29 wrote: »

Read your post. Just have a think for a minute about what you have posted in that thread.

You've probably paid anywhere between 10 and 20 Euro to get into a club. You needed to leave the club for a minute and go to a nearby ATM, probably because they cleaned you out with the f*cking extortionate prices they charge for drinks, you decided to get a breakfast roll because you wanted a bite to eat and you are then grateful for the bouncers letting you back into the same kip that charged you to get in in the first place and then cleaned you out of cash so that you had to go back out to an ATM???

So what if you have to go to an ATM, so what if you decide to eat something outside the club. You've paid over 10 Euro to get in, what's the problem!?!?!?!

Whats that got to do with the bouncers?

My brother was a bouncer and a security guard,he would have to put up with a pile of scumbags on god knows what just looking for a fight.If he turned them away they got worse.If they are being an idiot outside the club,imagine what they will be like when they get more drink and drugs into them.

The bottom line is,if you show them respect they will show you respect.Some people have a serious problem with authority.

Darragh29

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Whats that got to do with the bouncers?

My brother was a bouncer and a security guard,he would have to put up with a pile of scumbags on god knows what just looking for a fight.If he turned them away they got worse.If they are being an idiot outside the club,imagine what they will be like when they get more drink and drugs into them.

The bottom line is,if you show them respect they will show you respect.Some people have a serious problem with authority.

It's like this. I'm the kind of person, when I go out, I go out to meet my mates, I don't want to have to humour people standing at doors, I'll give them respect as I'd give a person behind a till respect or any other person in their workplace, but I won't grovel to anyone or start getting into needless conversations with people with regard to where I was previously or what I was at, that's none of anyone's business but my own to be frank.

tallaght01

When I used to do security i hated working with the ex-bouncers, as they were always getting us into needless aggro.

I used to work on the door of a shop in town, and one of them worked 2 doors down from me. He was like 40 years old and got in some stupid fight with some 17 year old skanger. He came to see me afterwards to tell me about it. But he'd left the kid's blood all over his knuckles just to prove he'd busted his nose open!!!

It paid the bills, but I was glad to get out of that game, although I did work with some really cool guys.

Blazer

SV wrote: »

Why, have you ever done security? Or do you just think it's bad because they tend to be arseholes to you?

Nope..met some really nice guys who are dead on..
It's the jumped up arseholes I hate..purely for their ignorant manner and security has their fair share.

jayteecork

T-Square wrote: »

How did you come to that erroneous conclusion?
You should learn to stand-up for yourself.

That's not fair.

There's a lot to be said for just walking away from these people.