2 Relations - 1 Prospect!!!!

LegacyUser

Hi all, I am in a bit of a pickle at the moment. A few months ago at work I began to see a work colleague in a different light. He works in another department but I would have regular enough contact and as the weeks and months went on the emails increased.

Since January we have been in fairly regular email contact and get on great. First problem, I find face to face communication tense as I can be v.nervous around him. This aside the email and phone banter is great most of the time with few small chats face to face.

A few colleagues mentioned we would be cute together and that he may like me in 'that' way, pure speculation. Also, on Facebook, I got the impression he was trying to indirectly let me know. I however have little faith in myself where matters of the heart are related and do doubt whether he likes me.

Second probem, a few weeks ago, i noticed on Facebook, a relation of mine, her page was freakily correlating with his (Facebook does encourage the e-stalker in me unfortunately!) but there were so many similarities and they were both on the same dating thing on that.


Recently, myself and himself were both heading to a house party, swapped numbers, got on great, got slightly too merry and went back to his and he didnt try anything!!!! Im too shy to initiate and also not sure of his intentions, instead we nattered for hours about our lives, families, all the usual.

I'm also working full time and doing big exams soon so Im stressed and keep reiterating Im putting everything on hold until the summer.

Fast forward to this evening, courtesy of Facebook and his lack of correspondance today and no show at pub, I have reason to think he may have gone on a date with her! I have literally only realised tonight how upset I am by that and how much I must like him! My questions, if you've survived up to here, are;

Should I text him something casual tomorrow re the work do, considering the lack of response today?
If he has gone on a date with her, should I tell him how I really feel?
Should I contact her and try and suss the situation out?
If he has slept with her, could I ever get into a relationship with him anyway?


I really think we could have been great, but fear I was too much of an Ice queen and pushed him away. Any insight on this dilemma would be really appreciated!

lolli

How do you know they have gone on a date? Maybe they are just friends. I think you are jumping to conclusions here.

If you like him -- simple - Tell him!!!!

LegacyUser

God please just tell him!!! Guys dont do subtlety. I should know cause Im the worst culprit in the world at picking up signs. I just never think women are into me and so never make a move. Take for example the last girl I was with. Similar situation to you she was a girl I worked with and she was easily the best looking so instantly I thought no chance. She gets so many men chatting her up that you kind of think to yourself no point being the next in line for rejection. Men never get chatted up (I dont anyway).

However emails became more frequent, started texting, whenever we were out drinking she would always sit beside me or hang back and wait around for me....I never picked up on any of this! Even when other people in the office started mentioning that it was so obvious she was into me I still didnt see it. It took about 3 months of this without me making a move before she just grabbed me one night and kissed me....and I still wasnt sure if she liked me:) Just tell him, if he is interested then your quids in and if not he has gotten an ego boost.

Joey the lips

Make contact with him. You dont have to tell him you love him. Tell him you really enjoyed your last chat with him and you'd love to do it again some time. If he does not bite the bate. Have a film in mind thats due to the cinema soon and say do you fancy going to see X when it comes out.

It gives you a point to get together in the future if he does not bite the bate now...

Oh and concentrate on your exams. There is no harm in being rich, in a job you love and madly in love

Nervous Wreck

All I'll add is don't ask your cousin sh1t! It'd be hard to go from "Hey, did you go on a date with Matt?" to "Guess who I'm f*ckin!"... Plausible deniability is your friend. "You went on a date with him? He never told me... And now we're a couple, shucks." Heh. Sinister mind....

Good luck with it!

cantdecide

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

All I'll add is don't ask your cousin sh1t

+1 (on the sentiment anyway)

Also agree with above. Faint heart never won fair .... errrrr... gentleman:D

You don't have to declare your undying love but you can just tell him over lunch some day that you were a little sad about her getting there first because you were working up the courage to suggest he ask you out some time:D

LegacyUser

Cheers for the replies guys. Im aware its speculation about the date with my relation, i dont know factually but am getting the impression something is going on, and I have a gut instinct about it to boot, I cant really explain it all here.

Im just not sure I can let him know. How would I just tell him? Also I do fear its too late and he has made up his mind to stop any affection he previously felt for me if any and he's chosen someone else, maybe her. Im also a little annoyed he never asked me out properly, he did suggest some things im not into on a friends basis and I know work affects all of this but still.

Ive decided not to text him this weekend, not sure whether thats the best thing but back to study focus and a night out with the girls will hopefully remind me there's other nice guys out there, Ive been preoccupied with thoughts of him for too long.

Lesson learned I suppose